


The Huntress Pt. III

by indigo_skye5



Series: The Huntress [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel War, Angels, Angst, Badass!Reader, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Demon War, Demons, Drama, Empath!Reader, Established Relationship, F/M, Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Fallen Angels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Ghosts, Hunting, Mark of Cain (Supernatural), Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Monster Hunters, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV First Person, Prophets, Reader-Insert, Romance, Season/Series 09, Soft!Reader, Swords, Tablets, badassery, reader POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 149,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27056758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo_skye5/pseuds/indigo_skye5
Summary: She and Sam Winchester are in Love. Wonderful, but now, the Angels have Fallen and Hell has gone to, well hell. She and the Winchesters now have to face even more problems on their journey. Old friends resurface as the world faces another crisis.~~~~~Reader Insert of Season 9 of Supernatural, where we follow our Empath Reader through her romance with Sam which of course has taken another drastic turn.
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Reader, Sam Winchester/You
Series: The Huntress [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844254
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	1. I think I’m Going to Like it Here

“ _I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past._ ”—Unknown

  
  
  


I had kept it mostly together. For Dean’s sake. Still, I was more worried than I had ever been in my entire life. Sam was laying in a hospital bed in a freaking coma, and I had no idea what to do. So silence, for other than a few muttered words between Dean and I or with the nurses and doctors, and the sound of the machine’s working, became our normal that day after the church. 

Dean and I both were sitting in chairs at Sam's side. I kept my hand on Sam’s as I watched over him. The television in the room, muted but playing. All the news seemed to talk about was the freak ‘meteor shower’ all over the world. 

I wanted nothing more than for Sam to get better. But I had never felt so helpless in my life. Even with my own grace, I wasn’t strong enough to heal him from the damage done by the trials. Dean constantly waved off anger and confusion, and kept his emotions to himself. Protecting me in a way, even though I saw through his facade. He was as worried as I was. 

A doctor came in with new scans. We both stood to speak with the man as he showed them to us grimly. “The MRI shows massive internal burns affecting many of the major organs. Oxygen to the brain has been severely deprived. The coma is the result of the body doing everything in its limited power to protect itself from further harm.” 

I held back tears as I looked to Sam in the bed. Dean said, “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Guilt and fear came from him as I raised a gentle hand to his shoulder. 

“If your brother continues on this trajectory, the machines might keep him alive, but-“ 

“He’ll be dead.” I closed my eyes at that, tears streaming down my face. 

“Technically, yes. I'm afraid so.” 

“So, there’s-there’s no recovery? I mean, there’s no bounce-back. There’s no nothing.” 

“I’m afraid that’s in God’s hands now.” 

I turned to the man with my arms crossed. “You’re a Doctor. You're a medical professional.” My anger got the best of me at that moment. “You're trying to tell me that my boyfriend’s life is in God's hands? What, is that supposed to be a comfort?” 

“Ms. Johnson-“ 

Dean interrupted him, matching my anger. “No, God has nothing to do with this equation at all.” 

“I didn’t mean-“ 

“That's not good enough.” He said then walked away and out of the room. I stared at the floor. 

“Is that all?” I asked coldly. The doctor took this as his que to leave. So he left Sam and I, and I began to cry again. I sat on the bed and pulled Sam’s hand into mine. Then I felt it. The buzzing again. It had come and gone in waves. Knowing exactly what it was, I didn’t want to answer, but knew I would have to face it at some point. The angel radio. 

I thought back to my days with Gabriel. When I learned that he was an angel, I was shocked, but I quickly accepted it. Gabe was my friend, and I hardly cared what he was. Soon after he told me all about it and his three followers. The only ones who knew his greatest secret; That he was alive. Josephine, Chadwick, and Sandriel. The secret followers of Gabriel. 

They kept themselves away from heaven for the most part, choosing to spend their time on earth as they were practically shunned from the rest for following the ‘dead’ archangel. Once in a while, Gabriel would call them and they would get together. During my time as his friend, I had grown to see them as his true family. And they sort of became mine. 

After Gabriel died, they were the ones who brought me the news. They comforted me the best they could and watched over me from a distance. That’s when I leaned on Jackson the most. He guided me through my grief and loved me when I felt I didn’t deserve it. But when he died...I shut the angels out. I told them to leave me alone. That I never wanted to see them again. I knew that they were hurt, but I was angry that they didn’t come to me when I prayed to them. When I asked them to help Jackson when he was dying. But in that moment, as I stayed with Sam and I was looking for a miracle, I knew that they could be my last chance. 

So I took a breath. Calmed down. I clutched to Sam’s hand and moved the hair away from his face and around the clear tubes that went into his nose. I closed my eyes. “Josephine...Chadwick...Sandriel. I know I haven’t spoken to you in years. I don’t even know if your alive, but...I need your help. The man I love...he’s dying. And I can’t lose him. When I lost Jackson, I prayed to you...please do what you didn’t all those years ago. Help me save my Sam, please...I can’t lose him...please. I’m at a hospital near Sioux Falls. Please...save him.” 

I opened my eyes and the buzzing returned. All seemed hopeless as I sat there with Sam. I sighed. “Samuel...I wish there was more I could do.” Tears flooded my eyes again. “Please, come back to me. Come back to me.” 

I grew quiet as Sam still didn’t wake. Eventually, Dean returned. I didn’t have time to wipe my tears away before he could see them. He took a breath and walked towards me. I stood off the bed. “Look, I sent out a prayer, asking any angel nearby to help us.” 

I raised my eyebrows at that. “Seriously? Don’t you think that’s a little risky? Seeing as the angels might not like you that much.” 

“Cas is still not answering. It was the only thing I could think of.” 

I chuckled darkly, “you not the only one. I have a few friends from my days with Gabriel. I finally swallowed my pride and called to them. Hopefully they’ll come.” 

“What do you mean ‘swallow your pride?’” 

I looked to Sam. “Three angels. They were supposed to watch over me after Gabe died.” My voice shook. “When...when Jackson was dying, I prayed for them. Screamed for them, but they didn’t come. I just hope they won’t ignore me again.” More tears came from my eyes as I covered my mouth, staring at Sam’s unconscious form, I couldn’t help a silent sob from coming out. 

“Hey. Hey.” Dean pulled me to his chest and I cried into his shirt. “It’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay.” He said gently. He held me as I cried for what seemed like forever. When I calmed down, we stayed quiet. I was the first to pull away. 

I walked away, mumbling about getting some coffee and left the room needing a break. Upon returning, I handed Dean a coffee black while he stood against the windowsill. No change on Sam. I sat down next to him to return to my watch. 

In the next few minutes, a woman walked in. Dean stood up right, with a few waves of hope, wanting for her to be an angel. “Hi. I'm just gonna break the ice. Are you an angel?” 

I gave him a look. _You have to be this forward Dean?_ I thought. The woman was unfortunately not an angel. “Sometimes I wish I were. My name is Kim Schortz, and I'm a grief counselor here at the hospital.” 

I scoffed quietly and ignored her. “Right. Yeah. Uh...Sorry. I'm just tired. Well, all due respect, but, uh, we’re not grieving. Not yet at least, so-“

“I'm afraid, as hard as this may be, this might be a good time to talk…about the inevitable.” I gave Dean another silently look. One of ‘get her the hell out of here.’ 

He was also waving off a bit of anger as well. “Look, I'm sure you're a nice person and that you mean well, but ‘inevitable’—that's a fightin' word where I come from. There's always a way.” 

“And I am a prayerful woman who believes in miracles as much as the next, but I also know how to read an EEG. And unless you're telling me you have a direct line to those angels that you were looking for-“ 

“Yeah, no, I, uh...Guess I don't.” Then a wave of realization came from him as I stared at him quizzically. “But I might have something better. I got the King of Hell in my trunk.” 

I stood as he walked out of the room. I gave Sam one last look and ran after him, ignoring the confused woman. “Dean! What the hell?” I said as I jumped in the elevator after him. 

“Crowley. He’s still our bitch. He can help.” Dean explained before the doors of the elevator and into the parking garage. I followed him towards the back, where we had stashed the Impala. He walked up to the trunk and rapped on the lid. “Crowley, listen up, you son of a bitch. One for yes, two for no. You alive?” 

There was no response, even though I could sense the demon and his waves of anger and tiredness. “Come on, don’t be a pouter.” Dean said. The demon hit it once. “There we go.” 

I was too out of it to sense him before he could grab my hair hard. An angel grabbed me then held a blade to Dean’s throat. I was breathing hard, panicking. “Dean!” 

“You prayed?” The angel said. 

“Yeah, for help.” Dean reasoned. 

“Yes.” He said with waves of anger and hurt pride. “You’ll be helping me.” Then he forced Dean against the Impala. I refrained from trying to free myself, the anger from the angel who practically had me at my throat made me think that it would only piss him off more. “If you lie to me, Dean Winchester, I will rip your throat out. And I’ll make her watch. Where is Castiel?” 

“Who’s asking?” Dean said with waves of calm. He stared at me, trying to assure me. 

“Try every angel who was ejected from their home.” 

“Oh. Oh, well, in that case, I have no clue.” The angel had enough, he slammed Dean against the Impala. 

“Dean!” The angel ignored me and slammed him again. Then I sensed another angel. He came up behind us and caught the wrist of the first, which was ready to strike and kill Dean with his blade. 

The new angel quickly got me out of the other’s arms, a tall man with blonde hair and a leather jacket, and said, “Easy there, brother. This young man and woman have prayed for our assistance. Are we creatures of wrath or compassion? I would argue the latter.” 

Waves of confusion came from the first, wrathful angel. “Forgive me, brother. I don't recognize you.” 

“Happy to make your re-acquaintance. After you disarm.” The shorter angel let Dean go, and held up his hands in defeat. Then a moment later, he threw a punch at the taller angel. “Come, now. Is that any way to treat a brother injured in the fall?” 

I backed up as they began to fight. Unsure what to do. Once an angel blade dropped, I ran towards Dean and helped him up. Next thing I knew the angel that rescued us was thrown into a nearby van, breaking the glass. As the shorter angel started at the taller one, Dean quickly picked up the blade and stabbed him through. I dove behind the Impala, trying to avoid the energy blast as best I could, falling to my hands and knees. 

Once the angel was dead, my stomach was in knots as my vision blurred and there was ringing in my ears. “Who are you?” Dean asked the other angel. 

“Never mind me. You're Dean Winchester. I heard your prayer, and I am here to help.” I heard him crumble to the ground as I sensed him pass out. 

“Okay.” A wave of panic came from him.

Before he could call me, I shouted, “Dean.” He came around the car and helped me sit on the ground, leaning against the Impala. “I hate it when that happens.” 

“Yeah, I know. You okay.” 

“Little Bird?!” We heard someone call out. I couldn’t believe it. 

“Josephine!?” I called out. Then a familiar energy came up. A young woman with dark brown hair and amber eyes, and wearing a light blouse and coat, came up and rushed to me. We were both smiling. 

“Little bird, it’s really you.” She said and gave me a hug. I hugged her back in shock as Dean gave me a look with raised eyebrows. 

She pulled back as I moved to stand, “Dean, this is Josephine. One of the angels I told you about.” 

She held a hand out and a smile, her cheerful and bright energy coming from her, as well as relief. “Hi. I’m Josephine,” she shook hands with him as he was still surprised. “And you’re Dean Winchester.” 

“Yeah...yeah.” I stood next to them, “can you help us?” 

Her face fell as her energy dimmed with a wave of shame. “Josephine? What’s wrong? Where’s Chadwick and Sandriel?” 

“Chadwick is hiding out, healing himself the best he can from the fall. He...he was in heaven when it happened…” Tears brimmed her eyes. “But, Sandy.”

“What happened?” 

“He was taken. Another angel is looking for _you_.” 

“What?” Dean said with a wave of protectiveness, “what the hell do they want with her?” 

“He said he wanted to talk, and if you came with me, he would let Sandy go...please, little bird, I know Sam Winchester is hurt...but I can’t help him.” 

“Why not?” I asked. 

Tears fell as I felt her grief. “I lost my grace...someone stole it ages ago. I can’t heal him, I'm sorry.” 

Dean and I looked at eachother, then to the angel who had rescued us. He was now our only hope. I turned back to Josephine. “First, we need to figure out how to save Sam, then we’ll go after Sandy, okay? It won’t take long.” 

She waved off fear and relief as she nodded at me with a wave of determination. Dean and I then got to work. The elder brother pulled out a container of holy oil and handed it to me. Then he moved the tall angel’s unconscious body to a more secure location in the garage, one where we wouldn’t be disturbed. Dean then poured a circle around the angel, explaining to us he cannot cross the flames it would make. 

I was still reeling from the angel death, so Josephine had gently put her arm around me to steady me, my walls mostly up to deal with the aftershocks of it. Dean then lit it on fire and soon, the angel was awake. “You want to help? Start with a name.” Josephine didn’t recognize him, so we had to start with an interrogation. 

“Ezekiel.” He said. I barely felt his waves as he spoke, I hardly registered for it as more buzzing from angel radio came in that moment. 

“Alright, Ezekiel. How do I know you're not hunting me or Castiel like the other angels?” 

“Oh, I'm sure there are many angels who are. Many more are on their way here, most likely.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“You put out an open prayer like that…” 

“I must be really desperate.” Dean finished for him. 

Ezekiel rose to his feet and said, “Believe it or not, some of us still do believe in our mission. And that means we believe in Castiel...and you.” 

“You said you were hurt during the fall?” I asked. 

The angel then looked at me. A wave of curiosity and despair for a moment, “I was. Entangling with my brother back there did me no favors. But what strength I have left, I offer to you.” 

I stared into his eyes a moment, trying my best to fully get a read on him. Something in me wanted to trust him, a part of me that was desperate to get Sam back. I turned to Dean, “let’s go. Let him help.” 

We let Ezekiel out of the trap and took him to Sam. We were still wary of him, but the waves of urgency coming from Josephine were bugging me too. Her brother was at stake too. We walked in and closed the door behind us. 

The angel went up to Sam immediately and placed a hand on Sam’s chest. “You still able to cure things after the fall?” Dean asked. 

“Yes, I should be, but...he's so weak.” Dean and I exchanged a worried look. 

Then Dean’s phone rang. “Who is this?” After hearing who was on the other side, he stepped out. 

Josephine then looked at me, “My brother has this, now can we go?” 

I nodded then looked at the angel. “Do all you can for him...this is the man I love. I’m putting my trust in you.” 

He looked up to me with soft eyes, “You can trust me. Go.” I nodded then went up to Sam. 

I stroked the hair out of his face again and whispered to him, “I’ll be right back. I promise.” Then I left the room with Josephine. I went straight up to Dean, “I have to go. I hate leaving Sam, but he’s in your hands. I know you’ll do what you can. Just...save him.” 

“It’s okay. Just be careful.” He said, listening to the phone, “I got a hold of Cas. He’s okay. Go.” 

I nodded and pressed a hand to his arm. A silent look between him and I told me he would do all he could. I took Josephine’s hand and we practically ran out of the hospital. 

…

In the time between I had last seen the former angel and now, I was surprised to learn she not only knew how to drive, but owned a car. She owned a simple Honda SUV as we drove out the state towards Indiana. 

An awkward silence was there for a while. I was worried for Sam but I also had lingering questions with Josephine as well as the other angels. But I didn’t even know where to begin. So I stared out at the road in front of me. 

Then she spoke softly, “you must have done so much in our time apart. Would you tell me about it? Maybe about Sam?” 

I nodded and smiled a little, “I met Sam and Dean a few years ago. We started hunting together when the Leviathans were running a muck. We fought them together, stopped their leader.” 

“Yes. I had heard that you were there for Dick Roman’s destruction.” 

I nodded. “Then I was sent to purgatory with Dean.” 

I sensed her horror as she focused on driving. “How? How did you escape?” 

“After a year...we found a portal that took us back home. Then for the last year, we have been working with the Prophet. Kevin Tran. We were trying to shut the gates of hell. Or at least Sam was.” 

“Is that why he is hurt?” She said with a wave of sadness for him. 

“Yes. No one told us until it was almost too late that the third trial would kill him...it wasn’t worth it. And now...he’s fighting for his life.”

We were quiet a moment, then she asked, “So you and Sam? You are in love?” 

I smiled. “Yes. That’s why I prayed to you guys...I was hoping you could help.” 

A wave of guilt came from her. “Once we get Sandriel back...we will explain things. I promise. We owe you that.” 

“Yes, yes you do...Because I know that I’m part Nephilim.” 

Shock came over her, “what?” 

“I met another angel,” I said, my eyes not taken off the road. “Castiel. He told me that I was part angel...that I had grace in me. I learned how to use it, aside from my empathic abilities. I can heal a little bit, and I figured out how to tap into Angel Radio. But...I can’t help but wonder, why didn’t any of you tell me?” 

Waves of guilt and shame came from her now as she bit her lip. “We were forbidden.” 

“Forbidden by who?” 

She glanced at me then back to the road. “Gabriel wanted to be the one to tell you, and after he died, it didn’t feel right to. At least not while you were grieving...then we cut ties.” 

Silence fell again in the car as I sat with my anger. I only wished for the drive to go faster so I could fix these angels’ mess, and I could get back to my boys. 

Soon enough we pulled into a motel on the side of a long stretch of road, just outside of a town. We got out and Josephine led me to a room. From outside the door, I could sense another powerful being. Another angel, but this one was waving off pain and grief. She opened the door and we went inside. 

“Chadwick?” I said as I saw him sitting on the bed. 

He looked up at my presence and smiled. “Hello, little bird.” I smiled gently, then dropped it once I saw his stomach. It was hastily bandaged together and blood began peeking out. “I’m alright. I’m healing.” 

“When they heard your prayer,” Josephine started, “we all were going to meet together. But when I got there-“ 

“Sandriel was taken and I was wounded even more than from the fall.” 

I looked between them. “Who has him?” I asked urgently. 

“Another angel by the name of Ian. He fell and was looking for you. He took Sandy.” Josephine said. 

“Alright, do we know where they are now?” 

“There is a clearing at a river not far from here,” Chadwick explained, “he told us to meet him there at sunset with you.” I nodded. The fear and grief from the two of them that this was something I had to do. I had to get their brother back. 

“Okay. That’s in about an hour, you up for it?” 

“I’ll be ready by then. Are you prepared?” 

“Yep,” I said as I pulled out the angel blade that dropped from the angel who attacked Dean and I earlier. I swiped it, thinking it could be useful. “Figure I would need this if things go south. Though I don’t want to use it.” 

Josephine said smiling, “that’s our little bird, always prepared.” 

When we left, Josephine was driving the car, while I sat shotgun. Chadwick was still in the backseat nursing his wounds, but was prepared to fight. I had checked my phone to see no new message from Dean, and I grew worried. 

“He’ll be fine.” Josephine said as we turned on the dirt road to head to the river. 

“Sam Winchester is strong.” Chadwick said, “his brother will make him pull through.” 

“I know. I just thought I would hear from them by now.” I said. I had texted Dean earlier explaining a little more and where I was. Still I had no response. 

“Here we are.” Josephine said now with a wave of worry and fear. We pulled up next to an opening of the river. Just to find Sandriel and the other Angel. Sandriel had blonde hair and light eyes, but they were bruised from a beating I was sure, and he had blood coming out of his nose as he kneeled in front of Ian. He had red hair and a light completion, but his eyes were dark. And he stared at me as I exited the car. 

“I’m here. Now let Sandriel go.” I ordered as the three of us stood in front of them. Waves of pride came from the angel as he held a blade to Sandriel’s throat. 

“We will talk first, then you can have this one back.” His voice was heavy too and dark as he stared. “You know the Winchesters, yes?” 

“What of them?” 

“They know the one I am truly looking for...Castiel.” I swallowed. 

“I know of him.” I said coolly. “Give us Sandriel, and maybe I’ll tell you about him.” 

“Tell me first.” 

I shook my head. “No deal. I want him safe. I’m more than willing to talk after.” The angel was quiet a moment as he thought about it. “There is no need for any more violence Ian. Please, let him go.” I said gently. 

A wave of relief came from both Josephine and Chadwick when the angel moved the blade away and stepped back. Sandriel slowly moved up and walked towards us. Josephine ran to him as I moved a little forward. “Now talk.” Ian ordered. 

“What do you want with Castiel?” 

“He’s the reason why we fell! He deserves to die.” The angels around me were waving off fear. 

“And what? Add to the blood shed? Look, I understand you want revenge, but I can’t give it to you. I don’t know where Castiel is.” 

“You're lying!” 

A wave of anger came from him. I turned my head and said to the angels, “go to the car.” 

“We’re not leaving you, not now.” Josephine said with a wave of determination. They all shared the same waves. I would have smiled at the sentiment, but I feared for their lives at that moment. 

“Ian. I don’t know. I’m sorry. You’ll have to find him on your own. Don’t make me fight you.” I pulled out the angel blade and showed it to him. “I can’t tell you where he is I’m sorry.” 

“Can’t or won’t?” He asked as he rushed towards me. I ran up and dodged his first slice. Then punched him at his opening. He Dropped his blade. Soon I tackled him and shouted, “Get out of here!” To the angels as I managed to pin him to the ground. 

Before I could sense them leave, Ian punched me and rolled me to my back. He had me by the neck as he said, “you will take me to him or die.” 

“Then do it you bastard!” I shouted in his face prepared to die for Castiel. Prepared to die for Dean. Prepared to die for Sam. I knew he would make me take him to them, and would give the same treatment. I closed my eyes as he raised the blade again to kill me. Before he could, someone pulled him by his neck and stabbed him with the angel blade. In the white light, I passed out. 

…

I woke up later in the angel’s motel room with ringing in my ear. I was on the bed exhausted opening my eyes slowly. My first thought was about Sam. _I have to get back to him._ Then I slowly sat up. 

“Hold on, hold on little bird.” I heard a sweet and gentle voice. It was Josephine. She was at my side, helping me sit up and gave me some water. “Are you alright? You had us worried.” 

I nodded slowly. “How long was I out for?” 

“About three hours.” Sandriel said. He was sitting in a chair in front of me and Chadwick was standing next to him. All three were waving off relief as they saw I was okay. 

“Ian’s dead.” 

Chadwick looked away. “Yes. I killed him.” 

I stared at him a moment. “You saved me...thank you.” 

Josephine then said, with waves of worry. “Dean Winchester called, he’s worried about you.” 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” 

“We couldn’t. But you should call him now.” She handed me my cell phone. I nodded then got up from the bed. I was shaky and the angels insisted that I rested, but I got up anyway. I went to the bathroom and got on the phone. 

“ESP, thank god.” Dean said when he answered. “What happened?” 

“Short version? I got attacked by an angel and someone stabbed him while he straddled me. I was out cold, I’m sorry.” 

“You okay?” 

“Yes. How’s Sam?” I held my breath as I waited for Dean’s response. 

“Ezekiel saved him. I’m driving him in the car as we speak.” 

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. I’ll start driving, where can we meet?”

“There’s a rest stop that we can meet in the morning. Past exit thirty two on highway nine. Can you make it?” 

“Yeah, about eight, I doubt I can get in a car right now and drive safely.” 

“Yeah. Sam will be happy to see you.” 

“I know. I’ll be happy to just see both of you safe.” 

“I know. But uh...Sam’s not going to remember the hospital. The angel said it’s best if we don’t talk about it. For his healing, okay?” 

“Are you sure? Why would we lie to him?” 

“I don’t know, just said it’s best if we don’t. He healed Sam that’s all I care about. As far as Sam does know is that we’ve been driving for a while and headed to you.” 

I nodded. “Okay. Does he know an angel healed him?” 

There was a quiet moment, “no. And let’s keep it that way.” 

“I don’t know Dean, I don’t like lying to him.” 

“Just for _now,_ okay?” 

I sighed. “Okay. I’ll see you both in the morning. Safe and sound.” 

“Yep. See you.” We hung up and I stood in the bathroom a moment. _Why does this angel not wish for Sam to know he healed him?_ I asked myself. I shook my head at the thought. I then googled how to get to the rest stop, and figured out it would take two hours to get there. So I knew I had a few hours to sleep there. 

I emerged from the bathroom to have all of their eyes on me. “I’m okay. I promise.” I told them. 

I walked over and sat on the bed while Josephine said, “so you know Castiel.” 

“Yes.” I said. “Is that a problem?” 

“No. No.” Chadwick said, “but we should figure out a plan. Like where we go from here.” 

I was confused. “I’m sorry, ‘we?’” 

“Yes, you’re coming with us are you not?” He asked, Waves of hope coming from all three of them. 

I looked away. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, Sandy was kidnapped just by associating with me years ago. I need to get back to the boys. And away from all of you, for your safety.” 

Despite the waves of disappointment and sadness from them, Josephine said, “she’s right. Now is not the time to stick together where we are vulnerable. But...there’s something coming. We must be ready.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked. She looked away, and I was reminded of a special reason why she was one of Garbiel’s few friends...she was able to see visions of the future. “You had a vision...didn’t you?” 

She nodded. Sandriel then said, “She had it right after the fall.” 

“A war is coming. A war of the angels.” I stared at her in shock, then she continued. “Castiel is pivotal in it, a leader that shall rise and lead a resistance against Metatron. And you…” she smiled. “You will be a part of it alongside the Winchesters.” 

“Seriously? An angel war?” I asked. I looked to the angels. “On earth?” 

“Yes.” 

  
  



	2. Devil May Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and I are finally reunited after his stint in the hospital. But now, I have to deal with Dean hiding something from us. And a familiar face returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re back baby! New season awaits! Can’t wait to dive deeper into the reader’s backstory and have fun with these episodes. Warning, y’all aren’t ready for what’s coming in this chapter. Have fun!

_“We are all more than the sum of our sins.”_ —Jeaniene Frost 

  
  
  


The morning after getting the news of the angel war, I was still shocked, but I had to leave. So all three of the angels walked me out to their cars. Besides Josephine’s SUV, there was now a Black and white pinstriped Dodge. Chadwick then handed me some keys. “Take it. We must go and find a place to hide.” 

“How am I supposed to bring it back to you?” I asked him.

He smiled gently at me. “Keep it.” 

“What?” I said, “no I can’t.” 

He pressed a hand to my shoulder. “I do not need it if I am with Sandriel and Josephine. Take it. It will carry you to your Winchesters and your journey back to us. And we will meet again.” 

I looked between the three of them. “You call me if there’s any trouble.” 

“Promise, little bird.” Sandriel said with a smile. I sighed then nodded, and headed to the Dodge. 

“Good luck!” Josephine said with a bright smile. 

“You too.” I got in and drove away, surprised at how clean the car was and how well the engine ran. I drove in the early morning light for a few hours and was suddenly worried for Sam and Dean. I couldn’t believe that Sam was actually okay until I saw him in person. 

I pulled into the rest stop near the Impala. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face seeing Sam and Dean talking on a bench. As soon as I got out I rushed to them. I tackle Sam in a hug and he gripped me tight, waves of relief and joy came from them both. “I’m so glad your okay!” I said. 

Then I pulled back to see his smiling face. “I’m good. I’m good. Where the hell have you been?” 

“And where did you get that?” Dean asked, pointing at the Dodge. 

I chuckled, “Long story.” So we all sat down and spoke about why had to take care of these angels. I told Sam how I knew them and our common connection with Gabriel. I told them about how Sandriel was taken and why Ian wanted to speak with me. Dean and Sam were both a little upset that I took on Ian alone, but we’re glad to hear that Chadwick helped me. Then I explained the car, “so it was Chadwick’s, but uh...he _gave_ it to me.” 

“Like an actual gift. Just like that?” Dean asked, he was now laying on top of the table with his eyes closed, as the story was pretty long. “Some gift.” He scoffed. 

“Not every car lives up to Baby, Dean. But yeah. He was always like that with gifts.” 

“Extravagant?” Sam asked. 

“No. Generous...he would give someone the clothes off his back if they asked. These angels are different from most. They don’t participate in the Bureaucracy of Heaven, never have. They actually understand what it means to be…’our Shepard’s.’” I smiled. “They're a lot like Cas. Speaking of which. What happened to him?” 

“He’s on earth, but...Metatron stole his grace.” 

I was taken aback. “Woah. Is he okay?” 

“Yeah, he’s alive.” Dean said with waves of relief knowing that. 

“So, what, Cas is human?” Sam asked. 

Dean sat up, “Ish. I mean, he's got no Grace, no wings, no...harp, whatever the hell else he had.” 

“Okay.” I said, “Where'd he crash-land?” 

“Called me from a pay phone from Longmont, Colorado. I told him just to make for the bunker.” 

A wave of worry came from Sam and I. “You think he can handle a road trip like that?” Sam asked with a wave of disbelief. 

“Well, Cas is a big boy. Things go _Breaking Bad_ , he knows our number. Right now we got bigger worries.” 

“The fallen angels?” I said. 

“Yeah. I mean, thanks to Metatron, we now have a couple of thousand confused loose nukes walking around down here.” That left a pit in my stomach, knowing what Josephine prophesied. 

“Don’t I know it.” I said dryly. 

“What do you think they’re gonna do?” Sam asked. 

“I got no damn clue.” Dean replied. 

A wave of realization came from Sam, “What about Crowley? You, uh…” I chuckled when he mimed slicing his throat. 

Dean and I shared a smile. “I would've loved nothing better than to ice that limey bitch. But then I thought to myself, what would Sam Winchester do?” 

“I'd've stabbed him in the brain.” I was surprised by that, but it made sense. Still I laughed a little. 

“Oh.” Dean said. “Well, I figured the King of Hell might know a few things, so why not _Zero Dark Thirty_ his ass?” 

We all got up from the table and went to the trunk. “Wait, so Crowley is...alive?” Sam asked. 

Dean opened it up to show Crowley hogtied in the back with his mouth duct taped shut, “Oh yeah. He’s the junk in my trunk.” 

“Huh.” Sam said. 

“Dungeon?” I asked. 

“Yep.” Dean said with the slam of the trunk lid. “What are you gonna do with _that_ thing?” He asked as I walked towards it. 

I looked at it with a sense of joy. Something about it being a gift to me made it appealing, and I enjoyed driving it. “I’m gonna keep her.” I said while turning to the brothers. “Might as well right? Got a pink slip and everything.” 

“Really?” 

“Well, my truck isn’t getting any younger. My dad’s had that thing since the nineties. I mean it’s served me well, but I’m not hunting in it anymore. Plus this one’s kinda pretty.” I said then chuckled. 

Dean shook his head and climbed into the Impala. “Drive behind us.” 

“You riding with your brother or me?” I asked Sam. 

“I’ll go with you.” Dean must have heard Sam, cause he started the car and pulled out of the spot. We both chuckled and got into the Dodge. I waited a moment for Sam to adjust the seat. It was a little too small for his very long legs. I chuckled a bit as I started the car. 

The two cars drove for a long while heading in the direction of the bunker. _Heading home. Finally._ I sighed at the thought. As the lull of the car brought a quiet between us, there was some comfort in sensing Sam’s new determination and hope. He felt renewed, yes still in repair I supposed, but he was much stronger than when I had last seen him. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, breaking the comfortable quiet. 

I smiled, “you. I’m glad you're doing better. You scared Dean and I both.” 

He had a little half smile and nodded. “I know.” He said, then sighed, “I just hope it was worth it.” 

“Hey.” I said, looking at him a moment then taking his hand into mine. “Like I said before, closing the gates wasn’t worth your life. We’ll deal with the demon’s and crap. We always do, and as nice as it would have been. I’d rather deal with a demon on my ass every day with you than to not have you at all.” 

A wave of surprise and contemptment came from him. “I guess your stuck with me then.” He said lightly. 

I chuckled. “I don’t mind. And besides, Crowley’s our bitch, I bet we’ll be able to do some real damage to those bastards anyway.” 

He smiled at that. He held on to my hand for practically the whole ride back, rubbing little circles with his thumb. I loved the contact. I almost couldn’t get enough as I realized that I was so close to losing him. I promised quietly to myself and Sam that from then on, I would make every second count. 

...

After hours of driving, we made it back to the bunker, finally. I parked not far from behind Dean, but left enough room so he could turn her around and drive back the other direction if need be. 

We got out and began a plan to bring Crowley in without letting him know exactly where we were. About twenty miles back, we stopped and put some noise canceling earphones on Crowley, then made a few extra unnecessary turns to in case he calls for help and that his demons can’t track him down easily. 

Sam said he would handle bringing Crowley in due to his size, while Dean and I went to the door to check on Kevin first. Dean opened it and we walked in. I jumped when I heard an arrow fly and land right in front of us. 

I went up to the railing to look down as Dean said, “The hell?” One of the library tables was upturned and surrounded by a bunch of books as Kevin popped up behind it with a freaking crossbow. “Dean?” He said waving off fear and shock. “You’re alive?” 

“Yeah, 'cause you're a crappy shot...Katniss.” He punctuated by pulling out the arrow. Dean then went down the stairs while I stayed on the balcony. 

“Sorry. It's been a bad couple of days. I-I haven't slept, or eaten, I...I'm pretty backed up.” 

“Okay.” I said. “Over-share.” 

“After we talked, this place went nuts, alright? Th-there was some alarm, and all the machines were freaking out, and the bunker just locked down! I couldn't open the door, my cell phone stopped working, I thought the world was ending!” 

“Close.” Dean said. “The angels fell.” 

“The…” a wave of confusion came from the kid, “What does that mean?” 

“Nothing good.” I said. 

Dean took the crossbow from Kevin and said, “Listen, next time the world's ending, grab a gun.” He put it on the map table and pulled out his cellphone. “I got service.” 

Kevin went to one of the bunker’s control panels and flipped a few switches. More of the lights turned on and there was a whirl of mechanics going into action. “It's back online. Maybe when you opened the door from the outside door, it reset the system.” 

“Yeah, okay, let’s go with that.” 

I shrugged at that then turned back to the door. I opened it and signaled to Sam to drag Crowley’s ass in. I held the door open as he held the demon by the shoulders, who was now blindfolded, cuffed, along with the earmuffs on. They were standing on to the balcony, “Hey. All good?” Sam asked Dean as I shut the door behind us. 

“Is it ever. Come on.” Sam guided Crowley down the stairs, and the three of us took him straight to the dungeon, but not before I could sense Kevin’s anger and shock. We threw him into a chair in the center of the devils trap and chained him up. Once we were satisfied that the demon was locked down, Dean pulled off the black bag over his head and ripped the duck tape off his mouth. 

“Ahh!” He shouted. “Hello.” 

Dean then punched him in the face. “Never get tired of doing that.” 

The demon grunted then looked around the room. Especially at the wall with various torture instruments. “Homey. Where did you get this fantastic little treehouse?” 

“Alright, here's how it's gonna go.” I said with a smirk. “You're giving us the name of every demon on earth, and the people they're possessing.” Sam then pulled out a notepad and pencil. 

He looked me up and down with a wave of disbelief. “Am I? Doesn’t sound like me.”

Sam had a wave of smugness. “I saw you break down, Crowley. When I was trying to cure you, I know a part of you was human again, maybe still is.” 

As nice as that would be, the demon was waving off annoyance at this point. “Blah blah, boohoo. Done? Good. 'Cause this is what I know. I'm not _giving_ you anything. Why would I? You have no leverage, darlings. You're not gonna close the gates of Hell, because you didn't, you're not gonna kill me, because you haven't. So what's left?” 

“We have a few ideas.” Dean told him. 

“Torture. Brilliant. Can't wait to see Sam in stilettos and a leather bustier, really putting the S-A-M into S&M.” I rolled my eyes. “Honestly, boys. What are you gonna do to me that I don't do to myself just for kicks every Friday night?” 

We all exchanged a few knowing smiles. “Oh, Darling, you have no idea.” I said then we turned to leave the dungeon. 

As Sam and Dean closed the doors, Dean said, “have fun.” We locked it behind us and turned off all the lights. Leaving Crowley alone to rot. I could sense a wave of surprise from the demon as we left the room and smiled at it. 

Then we returned to the library with Kevin fuming off anger and grief. “What's Crowley doing here?!” I jumped as he raised his voice at us. “Why isn't he dead?! Why aren't you stabbing him right now?!” 

“Alright, alright, chill out, Kevin, okay? We need him.” Dean said to the kid as we found the upturned table not set right. 

“What?!” 

“Kevin, look. If we can get Crowley to give us the name of every demon he's got topside,” Sam explained, “we can hunt them down. All of 'em.” 

“He will break, okay. When he does, we'll hold him down while you knife him. Then we all go out for ice cream and strippers.” 

I raised an eyebrow at that. “You _two_ can go out for strippers.” I said dryly. I turned to Kevin then, “Just stay away from him, alright? He’s dangerous—obviously.” 

“So now what?” Kevin asked. 

“I gotta make some phone calls.” Dean said, “You need to hit the Angel tablet, see if you can find anything on the spell that Metatron used to empty out Heaven.” 

“Yeah,” Sam said, “maybe we can reverse it before the God Squad does too much damage.”

“Yeah, if we're lucky. Alright, check the net for anything angel-y.” 

“Or demon-y.” 

“Or monster-y. Or ghost-y, or…” I scoffed and said, “it's gonna be a busy year.” Then I went straight to the pile of books to clean up the mess Kevin left behind in his panic. 

Working on our next case, Dean began making phone calls with different hunters. I listened in as I worked on some internet research on my own laptop. “Hey, look, I know this is weird, but-“ he paused as the hunter spoke to him. Then a wave of nostalgia came from him as he said “Werewolf Siamese twins.” I chuckled as Sam and I smiled. Bobby loved that story. _He must be talking with Irv._ I thought. “Every time he drank Labatt’s.” I chuckled again. That was also very true. “So if you run into any problems, give a call, okay? The more hunters that know, the better.” He hung up with him with a smile. 

“How’s Irv doing?” I asked. 

“He’s doing alright. You know the werewolf Siamese twin’s story?” 

I chuckled again, “that was my dad’s favorite Uncle Bobby story.” He went on to another call, and we all worked some more on research and other things. Then I found something, “I think I’ve got something.” I said as the room had gotten quiet from Dean running out of contacts. “Freak thunderstorms and some cow deaths, all within a three mile radius. 

“What are you thinking,” Dean asked with a wave of excitement, “Demon?” 

“California. You boys up for a road trip?” I smirked. I closed up my laptop as they nodded and we moved. “My ride or yours?” I asked cheekily. 

Dean laughed, then said, “not in that piece of plastic crap.” I just rolled my eyes. In a matter of minutes, we were on the road. 

…

After getting into town, we switched into our Fed suits and heard about an active investigation involving three missing naval personnel on a bus, three bodies, and with a witness saying that there was a person with black eyes over the police scanner. So we booked it there, all three of us a little nervous knowing that this wouldn’t just involve the local precinct but also the Navy. 

We pulled up to the place with a city bus being the center of the investigation. We walked up the line and crossed it, Sam saying, “Oh, God. This place reeks of sulfur.” 

“Told y’all.” I said as a Sergeant saw us and started to walk up to us. 

“Between the stink, with the freak thunderstorms, and every cow dead within three miles, I'll take demons for $1000, Alex.” Dean replied. The woman who came up to us was in a Naval camp uniform waving off urgency. We showed her our badges. “Hey, Agents Stark, Banner, and Colson, FBI. Just need to have a look around.” 

She waved off confusion now and slight defensiveness. “Why? This is a military case, not a federal one.”

“Well, that’s not what our supervisor said.” Sam told her. I internally wanted to scream, I knew exactly what they were doing and I wasn’t sure Kevin was up for it. 

“That so? Then maybe him and I oughta have a chat.” The sergeant said, crossing her arms. 

“Okay.” Dean said and took his phone out, I smiled gently as I looked around. My stomach was in knots. As soon as Kevin answered, he said, “Hey, boss, uh...we got a little problem here.” The kid responded, but I couldn’t hear, still Dean said, “Yeah, just a local badge needs confirmation we're supposed to be here. How the word came down from FBI headquarters in DC...yeah.” 

He then handed it to the Sergeant. “This is Sargent Miranda Bates, who am I talking to?” Kevin answered, and a wave of surprise, she said, “How old are you?” 

I glared at Dean as I turned my head away. He just shook his head at me as we all smiled at the woman, who was now fuming. “Listen, kid, I don't have to do anything. And I don't take orders from the Feebs. So unless you can give me one good reason you got a bunch of pretty boy agents poking around my crime scene, I'm gonna put them in cuffs and spank your ass raw, understand?” After a moment, the woman wafted off shock and horror. “What?” Another wave of horror, “how did you find that?” Sam and I exchanged a small look of surprise. “Yes...yes, sir.” Waves of horror and discomfort came off her as she handed the phone back to Dean and stalked away. 

I leaned up next to him to hear Kevin as Dean asked, “Kevin? What the hell did you just do?” 

“All military computers are linked to the same network.” I raised my eyebrows at that. 

Sam then mouthed, ‘Are we good?’ I waved him off to go ahead as I said, “And?” 

“I hacked it.” 

I chuckled a little as Dean had a wave of pride. “Hey, Kevin? Good job, buddy.” He hung up and we walked towards the doors of the bus. 

“Gotta say I’m surprised.” I told him. 

Dean nodded in agreement then we walked in. I had to cover my mouth a moment from the smell of sulfur. It was everywhere. “Hey,” Dean said when we saw Sam checking out one of the bodies. “Anything?” 

“Yeah, this guy was shot in the heart.” 

“That what killed him?” I asked. 

“Maybe—fifteen, twenty years ago. Every one of these bodies has a fatal wound, or two, or three, but they're _all_ old.” We looked around at them, Dean thinking the same thing I was. 

“So we're looking at meatsuits?” Dean asked, “The bodies took a licking, and the demons inside kept them ticking.” 

“Probably. I think they were possessed. And _now_ those soldiers are.” 

I turned when I felt the Sergeant's presence come in, and saw her with a tablet. “Excuse me, agents? We pulled this off a security camera. You might wanna take a look.” 

She handed it to me. I started to take a look as Sam came up behind me and looked over my shoulder. There were the naval officers exiting the bus, along with the driver. After it was done, Sam zoomed in to the woman. We exchanged a look as we both realized it was Abaddon. 

I handed it back to the Sergeant, and we quickly left the bus to head to the Impala. “Abaddon? Seriously?! I thought you Kentucky fried that meatsuit.” Dean was now waving off shock and surprise. Well, we all were. 

“I did, Dean.” 

“You—well, then how'd she get it back?” A police officer held up the tape at the line for us to walk under and we muttered a quick thank you, and walked faster, “And why's she playing G.I. Joe?” 

“No clue.” Sam replied. 

“Why don't you ask her when we find her?” I asked. 

“Oh, I will. And then _I'm_ gonna chop her freaking head off this time.” 

“Unless I get to her first.” I quipped as we climbed into the car. We dug some more around town but we found that the trail had gone cold. As frustrating as it was, we all elected to head back to the bunker. 

All was good, as we drove in the dark until we got a really panicked phone call from Kevin. “Kevin, wait wait wait. Slow down.” Sam said over speaker phone. 

“She gave me these coordinates. 44.053051 by -123.127860, and two names. Irv Franklin and Tracy Bell.” 

My heart dropped at the names. “Irv's a friend, don't know Tracy.” Dean said. 

“I've heard about her. New kid on the block.” I said. 

“Alright, the lady said they were hunters, and that if you didn't go save them, that she would kill them.” Kevin said. 

“Yeah, I’ve heard that song before.” Dean replied. 

“Dean, who was she?” 

Dean and I exchanged a look via the rear view mirror. “She's the bad guy. Alright, new job, dig up everything the Men of Letters have on Knights of Hell.” 

“‘Knights of Hell?’” After a beat, “Sure.” 

“You find a way to kill one, I mean _permanently_ , drop a dime.” 

“Thanks, Kevin.” Sam said then hung up. “The numbers point to a spot on the outskirts of Eugene, Oregon. You know this is a trap, right?” 

“Yep.” 

“And we're just gonna walk right into it?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Guns blazing. You with me?” Dean asked. 

“You know it.” Sam said. 

“Yeah. Let’s go get the bitch.” I said then Dean sped up to make the turn towards Oregon.

…

The next day, we found a small abandoned town where the coordinates were. We parked down the road and decided to walk into town, not wishing for Abaddon to get her hands on it. I held onto the hilt of my sword tightly as we walked through the graffiti covered place. “The hell happened here?” Dean asked while carrying a duffle of guns and holy water. 

“Local chemical plant sprung a leak, years ago. They evacuated three square blocks. Guess it's still contaminated.” Sam mused. 

“Wait,” we stopped a moment, “so this whole place is poison?” 

“Yeah.” A wave of horror came from Dean then he not so subtly covered his crotch with his hand protectively. 

I laughed, “honey, that's not gonna help.” 

“Doesn’t hurt.” He reasoned. 

We looked around for a while more, the heat beating down on all three of us. I wondered why Sam and Dean insisted on wearing so many layers. So I pulled off my jacket and tied it around my waist, enjoying the breeze now on my bare arms. 

As we passed a building, one of the glass windows was still intact and not boarded up. As I looked inside of the empty shop, I scanned for any nearby demon’s or hunters. Hoping to find the hunters first. 

For a second, as I saw the reflection of the glass, I saw movement across the street. A familiar figure stopped to stare at me. I turned around looking for him, not sure what I saw. But there was no one. 

Both Sam and Dean went alert and looked around. “Did you see something?” Sam asked quietly. 

I shook my head as I thought back to the figure. _It couldn’t have...could it?_ “Trick of the light. Let’s keep going.” I walked on despite the brothers exchanging a worried look. 

As we walked through the town some more, then found an abandoned diner where I sensed two people inside. We went in, guns raised, only to find. Irv, and who I assumed was Tracy, tied back to back in a couple of chairs and gagged. Dean went straight to Irv and took off his gag as I did the same for Tracy. Waves of fear and relief came from both of them. “Irv? Hey. Where's Abaddon?” Dean asked.

“Abaddon's been torturing hunters. She's trying to get intel on you boys and your girl. _Especially_ you.” He said to me as he saw my when he turned his head. 

“Do you know why?” I asked. 

“I seriously doubt she wants to add you to her Christmas card list. Now, d'you wanna make with the rescue or what?” 

“Right after you take a shot of holy water, huh?” Dean asked and pulled out a flask. I pulled out mine and unscrewed it. 

“Okay, Tracy, here.” I had her take a sip. Neither one of them reacted to it. 

“Happy?” She asked with a wave of annoyance. 

“Sorry about that.” I said putting it away. 

“Don't worry about it. Last thing you need is us popping black eyes.” Irv said as we helped untie them. 

“You're Tracy, right? I'm Sam Winchester.” He told her. When he said his name, a wave of old grief and anger came from her. 

“Good for you.” She said as she stood up. 

“She's new.” Irv explained, “We did a shifter job in Sacramento together. Smart, but got a mouth on her.” 

“Let’s gear up.” Dean said then went to his bag. 

He threw it onto the counter and unzipped it. He started handing out things as we got ready for a fight. Tracy then said, “what’s with the sword?” 

“Kills demon’s.” I replied with a smirk. “You ever face one before.” 

She nodded with another wave of grief. “Yeah.” 

“Okay. Then no crash course needed.”

Dean then said, “Alright, we got Jesus juice, guns loaded with Devil's Trapped bullets—shoot a demon, you put 'em on lockdown. The angel blade works…” 

I turned my head at the sound of movement outside. I unsheathed my sword and went to the door. Sam was next to me as we both looked out. “Oh crap.” I said as I saw the soldier-demons approached the building. 

“They’re coming.” Sam said. 

“Good.” Dean said with a wave of excitement. 

“And they've got assault rifles.” I said dryly, stepping away. 

“Okay, less good.” 

“So, what's the play?” Irv asked. After a few moments, we came up with a plan. Armed as best we could, we climbed out to the back while Dean set up his cellphone for a special message for the demon’s to lure them in. (“ _Come and get it, you dicks!_ ”) We walked around the back of the buildings, as we heard the demon’s infiltrate the diner. 

“Alright. We gotta flank SEAL team douche in there.” He gave out orders so that Sam, Tracy, and I would go right, while Dean and Irv would go left. 

“Okay. Let’s move.” Sam said and casually laid a hand on Tracy’s shoulder. 

With a sudden wave of anger, she pushed him back and said, “Don’t touch me.” 

“Woah. What’s the problem?” Dean asked. 

“My family's dead because of him.” She finally said with a huge wave of grief. 

“What?” Sam said with shock and heartbreak coming from him. 

She stared up at him with anger in her eyes, “I watched a demon slaughter my parents. And the whole time it talked about how it was celebrating. Some dumb kid let Lucifer out of his cage.” 

I raised my eyebrows at Dean, pleading with him to do something, “...okay, alright, we gotta move. Girl's with me, Irv…” 

“Okay. Let’s go, son.” Irv said as we went right of the building. 

“Sam?...are you okay?” I asked quietly, still sensing his guilt and shame. _Even after all these years, he still blames himself_. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He said. _Liar_. I said to myself, but decided to leave it for now. We flanked the side of the diner for a few moments looking out for the demons. 

“Sam, you copacetic?” Irv asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“Good. Now, hand me that toothpick and you two and Dean and Tracy, you beat feet outta here.” 

“What?” I asked with wide eyes. 

“I'm going in there alone. I'll buy you as much time as I can.” 

“Irv,” Sam said with a wave of panic, “that’s death.” 

“Yeah, well, it's what I've got coming. It's my fault, Sam.” I furrowed my eyebrows as the hunter waved off guilt. “I was...in some dive and I was sloppy, and lonely, and I met some girl. And next thing I know, I'm strapped to some bed, and she's twisting things that ain't supposed to be twisted.” 

“‘She’ who?” 

“Abaddon.” He started to tear up. “I gave 'em up. Pete, Tracy, I Gave 'em all up. So you hand me that blade, and you let me do what I gotta do, or so help me-“ 

Before he could finish his words, a gunshot rang through the place, and a bullet pierced his heart. Sam and I both pulled out our guns and pressed our backs to the wall. Sam, thought quickly and figured out where the sniper was. We shot at the him and ran for the diner. Sam had me dive first into the door with him beat behind. Thankfully, we both got in okay. But before either one of us could get up, there was a presence in front of us. A boot landed on Sam’s wrist as we both looked up. 

A demon soldier was on top of him. “Boo.” 

I was then grabbed by my hair and brought to my feet by the demon. Sam with a wave of anger was soon on top of him, and I was free. As I got my sword out, I was grabbed from behind. My sword was thrown to the ground as one of the demon soldiers had me. Thankfully, Dean taught me a good trick. 

I slid down quickly and out of his arms and grabbed his foot. I yanked it the best I could to catch him off gaurd. He fell on his back as I pulled out my gun to shoot him with the demon bullets. Before I could however, the gun was thrown out of my hand and I was on the floor as my legs were swept from underneath me. 

I heard crashing as I looked up and saw Sam being thrown over the counter. The demon had me pinned as another one came in. “Cool, I didn't miss the best part.” 

Two of the demon’s soon had Sam by his arms as the one who pinned me got me up and held a knife to my throat. We were beaten. Sam and I both breathed hard as I stared at him. Trying to figure a way out. Worry and fear was all I could sense from him. 

Then the bell of the door announced that another person was entering. I hoped for Dean. What I got was much, much worse. My breath hitched as I watched the tall man enter. He was Dean’s size with blonde hair and black eyes. The smile. That once beautiful smile made tears come to my eyes. “Jackson?” I said in a whisper. 

“Well. Not dear old Jackie, no. But it’s his face, if that’s what you're wondering.” I started fighting back. 

“You bastard! Get out of him!” I screamed and fought the demon's arms not caring suddenly that his knife was still at my throat. 

“Not happening.” He looked to Sam. “So this is your current squeeze. What a downgrade.” He looked back at me with his black eyes gone, now just the plain brown ones. _This can’t be happening_. He moved closer to me. “Did you really think you could get away with torturing me without repercussions?” 

“No. _No_. Not you-“ I said in horror. 

“Yep. Little old me. I’m now Abaddon’s number two.” He smiled again. Then ordered, “Knock them out. I’ll take them to her myself.” 

“No! Sam!” I said as I started fighting again. The demon now had his arms around my neck, putting pressure on it. I fought it as I watched them throw Sam to the wall. He fell unconscious as I sensed my vision start to fade. 

“And here I thought all you Winchesters were supposed to be tough.” One of the demon’s said. My eyes closed as the last thing I remember was bright waves of protective energy. 

My mind faded in and out of consciousness, but the only sure thing I remembered was Sam’s face and worried eyes looking down on me. Making sure I was alright, but...there was something very different about him. Air of him was unfamiliar but powerful. I would have chalked it up as a dream, but...something in me told me that it was very real, and that it wasn’t Sam. 

…

Next thing I knew, I was laying on the floor of the diner with the Winchesters checking if I was okay. “Hey. Hey.” I heard Sam say as I sat up slowly. 

“What happened?” I asked. 

“Apparently, Dean saved us.” Sam said with a smirk. 

I looked to Dean. “Seriously? There was like four of ‘em in here.” 

He smirked then nodded. “Come, on, let’s get you up.” They both held my arms and got me up. I was just a little horrified to see there were only three bodies. “What happened to…” I couldn’t say it. 

“I guess the fourth one took off before I could get to him.” Dean said. I would have caught the lie if I wasn’t so distracted by what had occurred before. 

Then the familiar rumble of the Impala outside appeared. A nice comfort. I picked up my sword from the ground. I noticed there was blood on it. Dean must’ve used it to kill one or two of the demon’s. The three of us then went outside to see Tracy driving the Impala. 

“Hey.” Sam said as she climbed out, “you okay?” 

“Yeah.” You?” She said, her waves of grief and anger not so much there anymore. 

“More or less, yeah.” 

“Good.” She threw the keys to Dean. “I got everything, but guess I'm late to the party.” 

Dean smirked. “Lucky you. Let's blow this toxic waste dump. Burgers and Silkwood showers on me.” 

“Hell yeah, and a whole bottle of aspirin for me.” I said as I climbed in the back with Tracy. I was getting a headache from getting knocked out from the demon. 

We drove the hell out of there for about an hour. Dean was good on his word and treated Tracy to some burgers before figuring out where her ride was. It was still on the highway nearby where the demon’s found her. We dropped her off and headed back to the bunker. 

We drove practically all night, but in the morning, still an hour or two out, we were all awake. My brain was still trying to process it all. _How the hell did Jackson’s body get possessed by the demon that killed him?_ None of it made sense. 

Sam then said carefully, “you want to talk about him?” 

I took a deep breath as I watched the farmland we passed by. “About who?” Dean asked. 

“The demon who’s wearing my dead boyfriend’s face.” I said bluntly. 

“Oh shit.” He said after a wave of realization. “That was the fourth demon in there?” 

“Yeah. He came in right before we got knocked out.” Sam said with a wave of guilt. “Said he was Abaddon’s ‘number two’ whatever that means.” 

“I don’t get it…” I said to them. “Bobby and I burned his body. How is he even using it? And why after almost five years has he finally crossed paths with me?” 

“I don’t know…” Dean said. “But we’ll get him.” 

“This is barely a regular demon Dean. And this one...he’s the first demon I’ve ever met. He’s the reason...he’s why Jackson’s dead.” 

“Does he have a name?” 

After thinking back on the horrible memories, I said, “Reagan. He’s very old, and very powerful. He’s no ‘Knight of Hell’, but...he can go toe-to-toe with Crowley.” I sighed again. 

“We’ll find him...we’ll stop him and Abaddon both. I promise.” Sam said. 

“Yeah, just another thing to add to the list.” I mumbled. 

…

We returned to the bunker around lunch time. Dean had made one last stop at a local chicken place while he sent Sam to the neighboring grocery store for some prune juice. He carried these in to help out poor Kevin. As we walked down the stairs, he called out to the prophet. “Kevin?!” 

“Kevin?” Sam said as we looked around the war room. 

We all exchanged a look then waves of panic came from all three of us. Dean put down the food and we ran to the dungeon. When we walked in, we found Crowley in much worse shape than we had left him. 

“Who worked you over?” Dean asked. 

“Martin Hayward and Brandon Favors.” The demon said. 

“They did this to you?” Sam asked. 

Waves of pain and annoyance were coming from him as he said, “No. They're demons. You asked for names, I'm giving you names. They're underperformers. Spike them with your pretty sword, you'll do me a favor.” He said directly to me. 

“Wow.” I said, “you break easy.” 

Another wave of annoyance came off him. “Please. Your little plan to have me stew in my own...delicious juices...pathetic. You want intel. I want things, too. Maybe we can come to some kind of arrangement. Quid pro quo, lady and gentlemen.” 

“So these are what, then, freebies?” Sam asked, scrutinizing him. 

“Not at all. You can consider them fair trade for the enjoyment that Kevin gave me.” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Dean asked with a wave of protectiveness. 

“He's my new favorite toy. Wind him up, watch him go.” He said with a wave of joy. 

Dean then said to us, “You check the names, I’ll go find the kid.” 

After locking Crowley back up, Sam and I went into the library to search the names and track down the demon’s. I threw off my jacket and sat down in front of my laptop. After about half an hour, Sam and I found the two people and started getting some information on the demon’s might go next. 

Waves of guilt now came back to Sam. _He’s thinking about Tracy again_. I looked up to him. He was staring at the notepad that had the names Crowley gave us as well as the files we had printed out about the demon’s. He tapped the pen he held in his hand. “Samuel...what’s wrong?” I asked gently. 

He looked up at me softly, his guilt hanging over him. Before he could answer, Dean came into the room. “Kevin's passed out in one of the back rooms. He's a tough kid. He'll bounce back.” 

I wanted to chew him out for interrupting, but I supposed Dean could have some insight, since he was there for when Lucifer was set free. He poured three whiskies in our nice glasses. “What up with you?” Dean asked. 

I looked to Sam a little expectantly, wanting to hear his answer. “Nothing. It's just...what Tracy said about me, she wasn't wrong.” 

Dean put down the glasses in front of us and sat down as I said, “Sam. What happened to her family...It’s not your fault.” I said. 

Then Dean added, “Sam, listen to me. You have helped a hell of a lot more people than you have hurt. So all of that...that was then. Okay? Here's to now.” 

After a moment, the three of us clinked glasses and drank a little. I sighed as I turned to my laptop and entered Jackson’s name. Knowing very well I would have to do it sooner or later. I chose to rip the bandaid off. “So, you ready for it?” Sam asked. 

“Hmm?” Dean said. 

“The fallen angels? Abaddon? Reagan? Cas losing his halo, Crowley in our basement?” Sam said, rattling off all the crap we have to deal with, a small wave of trepidation came from him. 

“Crap. We're living in a freaking sitcom.” I chuckled at Dean’s comment.

“Certainly feels like it, although I’m waiting for the funny part.” I said. 

Dean smirked a moment, then asked his brother, “What about you, how's the uh, the engine running?” 

“Honestly, um, I feel better than I have in a long time.” I smiled a little at that, sensing his waves of hope. “I mean, I realize it's crazy out there, and we have trouble coming for us, but I look around and I see friends, and family. I am happy with my life, for the first time in...forever.” The smile that came from him made my heart flutter. _It’s so true. We have a lot of good right now on top of the crap_. “I-I am, I really am. It's just, things are...things are good.” 

“Never better.” Dean said. We all shared a smile. 

“Good. I think we all need that right now. Some good.” I said then took another sip of my whiskey and both Sam and I got back to work. I didn’t look up however, when I sensed Dean’s waves of happiness for his brother falter, with ones of guilt. I watched from the corner of my eye as he downed the rest of his drink. _What the hell is he hiding now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told y’all. Next time, I’m no Angel. Yay Cas!


	3. I’m No Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As everything seems to settle down from the repercussions of the trials, we now set forth to find Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh this was a fun chapter to write. Especially the beginning and the very end. Wink* wink*. Enjoy! More notes on what’s currently going on at the end!-Indigo

_“We’re neither pure; nor wise; nor good; we do the best we know.”_ —Voltaire

  
  


I woke up when Sam tried moving out of my arms. I whined a little and grumbled, “Where are you going?” 

“Sorry.” He said more clearly. He had been awake for a while, waving off contentment and clearly some pent up energy. “I’m going for a run.” 

“At this ungodly hour?” I asked dryly. 

“It’s barely five thirty.” He said with a smile. “Just gonna go for a run, I’ll be right back.” 

I looked up at him with a sleepy smile. “If you wanted a work out you could’ve asked. I wouldn’t mind a _fun_ wake up call.” I said with as much flirtatiousness as my sleepy mind could have. “Stay.” 

He kissed my forehead. “I’m gonna go. Finish sleeping. I know you don’t like jogging.” 

“Ugh.” I said then let him go, sensing his little waves of determination to get out. “Fine...if you’re leaving my bed and withholding sex, then you might as well bring me back breakfast.” 

He laughed at that then kissed me on the lips. “Deal.” I rolled over to my side and watched him get dressed in some athletic clothes. I fell back to sleep by the time he threw on his running shoes. 

An hour or so later, after Sam had already returned to shower and change to leave again, I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. So I got up myself, threw on my new super soft, purple bathrobe and made my way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. There I found Dean. He had made a pot of coffee already in his own Men of Letters bathrobe. “Morning.” He grumbled a bit, then added another cup to his tray to take the coffee away from the kitchen. 

I followed him quietly as he took the pot out to the war room. I sat down at the table as he poured his own. Then a wave of confusion came from him. He called out, “Sam! You here?” Before I could tell him what the younger Winchester was up to, Sam opened up the heavy bunker door and came down the stairs carrying my promised breakfast. “Hey.” 

“Morning.” Sam greeted when he saw his brother. 

I smiled a bit as I poured my own coffee and added the cream I liked. Dean checked his watch, “You've been outside already?” 

“Yeah. Woke up, went for a run—beautiful sunrise.” Sam kissed me on the cheek then set the food down. “Anyways, cleaned up, went and got breakfast, grabbed you real bacon and eggs, extra grease, not even gonna argue.” 

I asked, as Sam put my own container in front of me, “pancakes?” 

“Course.” He said then they both sat down. I smiled excitedly as I opened the package up. 

“Mm, perfect.” Dean said as he looked over the food. “Wait. You went running?” A wave of concern came over him, as well as a bit of protectiveness. That, and it was written all over his face. 

“What? Why do you look so worried?” Sam asked him with a wave of confusion. 

“Let's see. There's Cas, who I told to haul ass here. That was days ago. He's still out there. Um, there's you.” 

“Me?” Sam said with a small chuckle. “I feel great.” 

“He’s been getting a lot better.” I reasoned then took a bit of my pancake. As I reached for my coffee, the cup tipped over and the hot liquid was over my lap. I stood up to get away and Sam caught the mug by the handle. “Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.” I muttered as I grabbed a napkin to rub it off my robe. Thankfully I wasn’t burnt, but my poor robe took the brunt of the assault. “Ugg. I just got this!” I started to head to my room to change. “I’ll be right back. Don’t eat my food!” I warned the brothers. 

Dean then continued his argument as his voice faded away. As I reached my door, I sensed something in the bunker, a strange, old strength and determination that was almost foreign to me. I pondered on the new presence for a moment before shaking my head. _I must be imagining it or something_. I told myself. 

I threw my robe into my bathroom sink and actually got dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. I brushed my hair a little and didn’t bother with makeup, my stomach making the priority to get back to the war room. 

I walked in as I heard Dean mutter something to himself along the lines of, “I’m gonna get whiplash.” 

“What?” I asked as I sat down. 

“Nothing. Um, alright, so, I was thinking that if the angels are organizing, then that makes them a lot more dangerous than we thought.” 

Sam and I both looked at him a moment with confusion. “Why do you think they're organizing?” Sam asked. 

Dean paused a moment as a small wave of panic came from him. “It makes sense. My point is, is that the more of them that are after Cas, the worse it is, so...we gotta find him.” 

“Couldn’t agree more.” I said. “Let’s finish breakfast, and we’ll get started okay?” 

Dean nodded and we continued to eat. He was pretty quiet as Sam and I chatted. I didn’t bother asking them about what I sensed earlier, thinking that it wasn’t as important as finding Castiel. 

Later, after Dean got dressed, Sam and I set off on his laptop in the library while Dean was plotting out a map of Colorado and the surrounding states. We were trying to find a directory of possibly where Cas might have gone in his journey back to us. 

Dean pointed out a particular spot on the map, “Alright, so this is where Cas called from on Tuesday—Longmont, Colorado. Each circle is how far he might have gotten in one, two, and three days out.”

Sam looked it up and for anything possibly angel related. “Okay. Here we go. The same day he called from Longmont, weird murder, same town. Cops said it was like the girl was blasted from the inside out.” 

“Angel kill.” I said. 

“They might have just missed Cas.” Dean said, “Unless they got him.”

Sam looked through more articles and found one in particular. “You got an Emory Part, Iowa?” 

Dean and I both checked the map, then he said, “Emory Park, Emory Park. I just saw that. Yeah, a couple days outside of Longmont.” 

“Okay, because two priests were murdered there Thursday. Eyes blown out, evidence of torture. They were impaled on posts.” That caused a wave of concern from all of us. 

“Torture?” I asked warily. 

“Yeah.” 

A wave of protectiveness came from Dean again, “Angels are looking for info. Man, if they get to him before we do…” 

“We’ll find him, Dean.” I assured him before getting up. 

…

The next day, we ended up at St. Anne’s in Iowa. Using our FBI schict, we got in to ask around. Sam went to the administrative side while Dean and I got down to interviewing the people around the garden. We were talking to one man, who seemed to be more down on his luck than most would like to be, and had a semblance of who we were looking for. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I know this guy you're talking about. Sounds like Clarence.” 

I fought a smile, “Clarence?” That was a familiar nickname that Meg gave our angel. 

“The church—it runs a shelter in town, and we work here. We earn our keep. Clarence spent a couple nights, and then had to move on.” 

“And he left the day the bodies were found?” Dean asked. 

“Matter of fact. Oh, man, those poor guys were a mess. They must have suffered bad. But at least now they're with the angels.” He said while looking up to a statue of the Virgin Mary. 

“I sure as hell hope not.” Dean said absentmindedly. 

As the man’s face fell with a wave of confusion, I cleared my throat and said, “Clarence happen to mention where he was headed?” 

“No. He just said he always had to keep going.” 

I nodded. “Thank you for your time.” Dean and I then turned and headed towards the Impala. There we found Sam sitting in the front seat working on his laptop. 

“Alright.” Dean said as we got in. “Well, he's definitely been here. Good news is he's getting cagey. He's using a fake name-“ 

“Clarence.” I said with a smile, remembered the demon that gave it to him. 

A small wave of amusement came from Sam and a smile. “That's what Meg used to call him. Of course, he doesn't get that's the name of a pretty famous angel.” 

Dean just gave us a look and a wave of confusion. “What?” 

“ _It’s A Wonderful Life?_ ” I said. 

Dean shook his head as Sam said, “Dude, seriously?” 

After a wave of defensiveness, he asked, “What'd you come up with?” 

“Another angel kill, outside a town called Lafayette about a day's travel east of here.” 

“What is that, Indiana?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, Body was found in a homeless camp. Insides barbecued, the whole nine.” 

I frowned, “homeless guy?” I asked. 

“No, a pharmacist from Dayton.” 

“Huh,” Dean said, then started the engine of the Impala. We drove down the last place Castiel was seen in Indiana. We started with the police station and met with the Police Chief of all people. He took us up the elevator through the station. As the doors opened, the Chief said, “Damnedest thing I ever saw. Vic had a stab wound, but it's not what killed him. It's like his insides were-“

“Vaporized? It's been going around.” Dean said. 

“So, this guy was a pharmacist from Ohio?” I asked as we walked through the place, it was busy with several uniformed cops and detectives. 

The Chief took us to where they had kept the evidence for the case. “Apparently. Total family man, religious. One day, just hops in the SUV, takes off, dies under a bridge here from God knows what. This is his stuff. Help yourselves.” He put down the bags on an empty desk with a computer we could use. 

“Thanks.” The brother’s said in unison as he walked away, and we got to work looking through the stuff. It was the usual. Watch, keys, pen, and other things. I picked up the wallet and looked through it while Sam found a small bible, and Dean started to look through the Vic’s cellphone. 

“Anything?” Sam asked before sitting down at the computer of the desk. 

“Nothing weird. Crappy music, a lot of podcasts, all the same one. Reverend Buddy Boyle's ‘Goin’ for Glory Hour.’”

“Cop said he was religious.” 

Dean then turned on one of the podcasts and showed us the accompanying video. “ _Join me in a heapin' helpin' of glory, friends. When you're in the presence of the divine, you'll know it. And if you let yourself, you'll hear it_.” I raised my eyebrows as Dean skipped ahead, “ _So, remember, when angels come a-knocking, let 'em on in._ ” 

The video stopped as we all exchanged a look. “Angels can't possess a human without permission, right?” I asked dryly. 

“Yep.” Dean replied. 

“So, what, they're using this guy to find vessels?” Sam asked. 

“It's a willing audience. They're all religious types like our pharmacist here. Buddy Boyle was telling them to let the angels take them over.” 

“Like body snatchers.” The idea put a pit in my stomach. Waves of unease and urgency came from them both. 

“How big a reach does this Boyle guy have?” As Dean asked, Sam then did a quick search of the guy's name on the internet. He found a website that had a map of their outreach. The red dots that came on the screen went all over the map of the world.

“Oh crap.” I said in shock. 

Sam then said, “Pretty much the entire planet.” We quickly left the station after that, the search for Castiel was more important than ever. 

We started with the crime scene and canvassed from there. Nearby by a homeless encampment that we had hopped someone had seen him. In our casual clothes, we started asking questions, but many of them were not wishing to speak with us. Dean began waving off impatience. “Look, for the billionth time, we're just looking for some information, okay? We're not cops. I mean, do we look like cops?” 

The group in front of us looked amongst themselves and nodded in agreement. I sighed and said as kindly as I could, “Well, we’re not cops. We just need to find a friend who’s in trouble.” 

Sam then had a wave of determination as he said, “Look, he might have been here the night that guy was killed. Were any of you here then?” 

After a moment, one man stepped forward with a wave of concern. “Maybe.” He said. 

“Oh, okay.” Dean said with a wave of hope. “Uh, he's-he's got dark hair, blue eyes, a little out of it.” 

“He maybe called himself Clarence?” I told him. 

“Clarence, yeah.” 

“You two talk?” Sam asked. 

“Not much.” 

“And, uh…?” Dean said. 

“I think he was on the run.” 

“You see him with the vic- uh, victim?” Sam corrected himself. 

“Nah.” The man said warily. 

“Okay…” Dean tried to push. 

“He went off to sleep in another part of the resort.” He said then tried walking away. 

“Where?” Dean asked as we followed him. 

“He’s not there now.” The man said. 

“Where’d he go?” I asked. 

“I saw him running from under the bridge to the highway.” 

Dean then had another wave of impatience. “You gonna pay us for all this teeth pulling? Where was he headed?” 

Despite the comment, the man said, “He flagged a truck heading north. Detroit, probably.” 

“Why Detroit?” Sam asked. 

“Truck was marked ‘Motor City Meats’” 

I nodded, “Thank you.” I gave the man a little spare cash that I had in my pocket. Then we went off the car, but not before I noticed a man staring at us. He was in regular clean clothes and didn’t look like part of the homeless population. Plus, as we passed him, I felt nothing from him. _A reaper, but why the hell was he watching us?_ Then I was reminded of the reaper that took Sam to hell. _Freelancer_. 

I kept my eyes trained on him as we rolled away, then I saw him get into a car. I turned back as we headed in the direction of Detroit. “I think we’re being followed. SUV behind us.” I told the boys. 

Dean looked back on the car through the rear view mirror. “Did you get a gage on him?” He asked. 

“Reaper.” The boys exchanged a look. 

“Why the hell is a Reaper following us?” Sam asked with a wave of worry and protectiveness. 

“Remember Ajay? He could be a freelancer or worse.” I said, fighting the urge to look back. “Remember, we’re not the only one’s looking for Cas.”   
...

It was dark and the reaper was not doing a great job of hiding himself. Still we made no show that we knew exactly what he was. We were all starving, so we stopped at a convenience store a few hours away from Detroit. Unfortunately for the reaper, we noticed when he stopped as he got out, and lingered around the front of the store. 

The three of us bought the supplies and left the store, pretending to be as normal as possible. As we exited the store, Sam was examining the premade pie Dean bought. “Look at these chemicals. Do you even read the label?” 

Dean snatched the pie away and stuffed it into the bag. “No. I read ‘pie’. The rest is just ‘blah, blah, blah.’ Listen, when we hit Detroit, we start with the homeless shelters.” 

“Right, then go to the encampments, soup kitchens.” I added. 

“Check out places that he might have gone looking for work.” Dean said as we passed the reaper, who was pretending to be using the pay phone. I hated the fact that I couldn’t sense him, but the reflection of a car window ahead of us told me he began to follow us on foot. 

“Yeah, and I can check for vagrancy arrests.” Sam said as he grasped my hand. Some worry was waving off him as I figured he noticed too. 

“Yeah, and, you know…” Dean made a gesture that reminded me of a head exploding. “Odd deaths.” 

We all turned a corner and bolted down to get out of the reaper’s sight. I knew both Sam and Dean had armed themselves with an angel blade and the demon knife. I had an angel blade as well, as we waited for the reaper to pass. 

As soon as he was close enough, both men popped out of nowhere and slammed the reaper against a nearby chain link fence. I walked out as Sam held the knife to the reaper’s throat. “Who are you?!” He said with a dark growl. 

“Why are you trailing us?” I asked as I approached them. The Reaper looked at the three of us with fear in his eyes as he stayed quiet. “Alright, since you don’t want to do this the easy way, let’s go for a walk.” 

Dean and Sam pulled him away and we walked him towards the Impala. Sam sat with him in the back, blade to his throat still while Dean and I sat up front. The silent reaper just stared on, and I wish I could sense him. Have some idea of what he was thinking. 

We found an abandoned warehouse that we figured we could use. Dean handcuffed the reaper’s wrist to a low overhead beam and began a long interrogation. So far we figured out his name and he was pretty bloody from the angel blades. “So, Maurice.” Dean said, “You bounty hunters are like Delta Force reapers. Why would they sic you on Cas?” 

“He warded himself.” 

“Naomi hire you?” I asked with crossed arms. 

The reaper chuckled, “You really are out of the loop. Naomi's dead. Resting in pieces.” 

Sam and I exchanged a look, then he asked, “So then who’s running things now?” 

After Maurice didn’t respond, Dean shouted, “Answer!” 

“Her protégé, Bartholomew. He's an up-and-comer.” 

“So he figured we'd lead you to Cas.” Sam said. 

“This Bartholomew, he organizing the angels?” Dean asked. 

The reaper refused to answer again. Dean slashed him again and I ordered firmly, “Answer the question.” 

With ragged breath, “that’s all I know.” Dean pressed the tip of the blade to his throat, anger coming off him now. “You can kill me. It won't matter. If I don't find Castiel, there are others that will. But do what you want.” 

“Sure.” Dean nodded at me, a silent signal to get the hell out of the way. I bolted out of the room, not wishing to find out if a reaper’s death was any similar to an angels. I duct behind a thick concrete wall as Dean did the deed. Unfortunately for me, I felt the death almost as strongly as an angel one. I didn’t knock out, but I had the ringing in my ear. Soon enough, Sam found me. 

“You okay?” 

“I’m fine. Remind me not to be near a reaper if we kill one again.” I said dryly. Then went back into the room to help the boys out. We all wafted off worry as we worked to get rid of the body. We needed to find Cas. 

...

It was morning when we got to Detroit. Conflict was all I could sense from Dean as we pulled into a parking lot. “What’s up?” Sam asked. 

Frustration filled the car, as he asked me. “Wanna get us some coffee?” He pulled out his wallet and handed me a twenty. I could tell he wanted to speak with Sam alone. I was a little hurt, but decided that it was probably for the best. Plus I figured I could avoid more of Dean’s anger. 

“Sure.” I said and took the cash. I got out of the car and went into the shop. I got three coffees and a few granola bars for breakfast. 

I walked out with them briskly. As I approached the car, I could feel the buzzing of angel radio again. I stopped in my tracks. This time it was much closer. And I could sense that odd energy again. Thinking it could be Casteil, I turned it on, focusing on it. Instead I heard a familiar and gentle voice. “ _A reaper has Castiel. She is close_.” The voice told me an address and I shut it off quickly. I nearly dropped the coffees as I realized how much danger Cas was in. 

I ran to the Impala and jumped in. “I just heard Angel radio! Cas is nearby, but a reaper has him. Go!” 

Dean had the Impala roar to life again, and we left the lot. I gave him the address and panic was coming from both of the brothers as we drove. I left the coffees in the backseat as we all went into the apartment. As soon as I found the door, there was pain and fear coming from it, Dean broke it down with one swift kick. We ran in to see a red haired woman straddling Castiel. 

“Cas!” Dean yelled out and the woman stabbed Cas in the chest. Dean and I pulled out our angel blades, and rushed at her, but we all out matched. Dean was thrown across her counter while Sam was thrown into the closet. I slammed into the far wall. 

I couldn’t sense anything from the reaper as she said, “This girl's popular with all the boys.” She kicked away Dean’s blade that fell out of his hands and went towards me as I tried to scramble up. 

She kicked me in the ribs twice, and I fell to the ground groaning. Then she went towards Sam. He had gotten up to face her, but the reaper punched him across the face which sent him to the floor. As she turned, Dean was on his feet with the same blade that was in Cas. I braced myself as he stabbed her and all I saw was white as I passed out. 

The next thing I knew, Sam was coaxing me awake. I squeezed my eyes shut then open as I looked up to his own eyes. A blaring headache was behind them as I gingerly sat up hissing when I moved as I felt the damage on my ribs. “Hey. Are you okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah, where’s Cas?” I asked urgently. Ignoring my pain for a moment. 

“I’m right here.” I looked up and slowly turned, keeping my head from whipping around for fear of even more of a headache. His blue dress shirt was buttoned up haphazardly and he looked extremely exhausted, but Cas was alright. Sam helped me up as I smiled at the angel, well former-angel. 

“You're okay? But she stabbed you.” 

Dean walked up as Cas replied, “Dean tricked her into healing me.” 

“Alright. You good for the drive home?” Dean asked with a wave of concern. 

“No street racing for me, but yeah. Let’s go home.” I said still a little out of breath and leaning into Sam. I was still feeling the exhaustive effects of the reaper’s death. 

Sam sat with me in the back of the car while Cas and Dean took the front. It wasn’t long until the lull of the road got me to sleep once again as I leaned onto Sam’s shoulder comfortably. I was happy to have all three of my boys safe and sound in the beloved Impala. 

…

We arrived home the next morning, and I was basically good as new. Using my grace, I healed up my ribs, and I was glad to see Cas was fine. Still he needed to clean up from his days on the run, so after feeding him, he went off to use the showers. We were talking in the war room, as Dean was chowing down on his burrito, when Cas returned in fresh clothes and contentment coming from him. 

“I am really enjoying this place. Plentiful food. Good water pressure. Things I never even considered before. There really is a lot to being human, isn't there?” I smiled at his musings. 

“It ain't all just burritos and strippers, my friend.” Dean said. I chuckled at that while I crossed my arms. The brothers were both now leaning against the war table. 

“Yeah. I understand what you're saying.” Cas said. I was surprised at that. 

“You do?” I asked, as normally he didn’t. 

“Yes, there's more to humanity than survival.” Wonder came from him as he said, “You...look for purpose, and you must not be defeated by anger or despair. Or hedonism, for that matter.” 

I raised an eyebrow at that. Then Dean said, “where does hedonism come into it?” 

“Well, my time with April was very educational.” 

“Yeah. I mean, I would think that getting killed is something.” Sam said. 

“And having sex.” I fought a chuckle and smiled as Dean choked on his burrito for a second. 

“You had sex with April?” Dean asked. 

Sam and I looked at eachother with smiles on our faces, then both brothers stood. Cas was still looking at us with a bit of confusion. “Yeah, that would be where the hedonism comes in.” 

Dean shushed his younger brother as Cas and Sam exchanged a look of surprise. I just shook my head, fighting myself from laughing at the conversation. “So...did you have protection?” Dean asked. 

A wave of confusion came from the former-angel. “I had my angel blade.” I fought my fit of laughter. 

“Oh-oh, he had the Angel blade.” Dean said to the two of us. 

“Umm…” Sam said. 

“In any event, I-I do now see how _difficult_ life can be and how well you three have led it. And I think you'll be great teachers.” 

I smiled at that. “Thanks, Cas.” I said. 

“Are there any more burritos?” 

“Uh, yes.” Dean said then pointed towards the kitchen. As Cas went off I let out a little chuckle. 

“Okay. Who’s going to explain condoms to him?” I asked. 

Sam chuckled and said, “Oh, not it.”

“Nope.” Dean said. 

My jaw dropped as I said, “seriously?” They both gave off embarrassed waves now and avoided my eyes. I scoffed and shook my head then went the other direction, “Prudes!” I shouted over my shoulder. 

I went into the kitchen and Castiel was staring at the microwave. “Oh. Hello. How do you work this machine?” 

I chuckled. “Okay. It’s pretty cool actually.” I told him. I heated him up the burritos and spoke to him a little bit more about April. It was a bit awkward that I had to explain what Dean actually meant by ‘protection.’ But in the end he understood. Cas then went off with his food as Sam came into the kitchen. “Hey.” I said as I smiled. 

“Hey. How are you doing?” 

I smiled but gave him a look, “Again, I’m fine. I bounce back pretty quickly, Samuel.” 

“I know.” He said then pressed a kiss to my forehead, then pulled me into a hug. I happily obliged and wrapped my arms around his middle. 

“How are you? Still feeling pretty good?” I asked after a few minutes of his embrace. All I sense from him was contentment. 

I looked up at his face as he said, “Yeah. I’m good.” 

I smiled flirtatiously as a pleasant thought came to my mind. “Good. Still down for that work-out that you had me miss out on?” 

His grin told me it all. As he leaned down to kiss me I smiled with anticipation. We kissed for a few moments, not intending to move, but stopped when I heard Dean’s voice. “Come on guys, not my kitchen.” 

Sam looked up exasperated, waving off a little embarrassment then disappointment as I broke away from his arms. Still I took his hand as I pulled him with me. “It was just a kiss Dean.” I said. Dean shook his head as Sam walked past him and out of the room. He was beaming as we practically jogged to his room. 

When we finally came out of the room hours later, both in very good moods, we were starving. So we returned to the kitchen to see Dean nursing a whiskey, waiting on the dinner that was left to simmer on the stove. He was waving off sadness. “What’s wrong?” I asked, ignoring the food and sitting in front of him. 

“Cas left.” Dean replied somberly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this note on Nov, 6, the day after that* episode. Spoiler warning for 15x18: Destiel is fucking canon. It was beautiful and so sad, but I love it. Been a low key shipper for a while and I’m so happy for all of my Destiel ride or die fellow shippers who have been there since the beginning. Writing from now on...well let’s say a bit of implied Destiel will be there.   
> Love you all and stay safe. I know this is count down to the final two episodes of Supernatural. This show has gotten me through a hell of a year, and honestly, I’m really sad that I didn’t get into it until it was already ending. But I’m so happy I have it in my life now, and this Fic. No stopping me from writing this thing, already on episode four of season ten in writing. I have so many ideas and I can’t wait to give you guys hell of a ride. Even if it’s in this little corner of the internet.   
> Up next is Slumberparty! The only Charlie episode of the season but I can’t wait!


	4. Slumber Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie comes over to a sleep over as she tried to help us out with an old computer in the bunker, but we accidentally unleash something that gets loose in our home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Charlie! Only episode she appears in season nine, but I love her. This is one of my favorite episodes and it really showcases the many rooms of the bunker. Hope y’all enjoy!-Indigo

_“You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.”_ —Frank L. Baum

  
  
  


I was so confused by Cas’s leaving. We had worked hard to bring him home safely, but he just left, and with hardly a goodbye to me. _I thought our relationship was more than that. Was he upset with me? Did I do something wrong by him?_ I wished for answers, but Dean was pretty tight lipped about it. 

A few days after Castiel’s abrupt departure, Kevin was climbing walls. He was having a difficult time with the angel tablet and eventually he hit his breaking point. So that morning, Dean left with the kid to take him to a nearby hotel to clear his head. Sam and I were also hitting a wall with Crowley trying to get him to tell us more names. 

I was sitting at the map table on my laptop as well as going over some books about demons, taking notes with my journal, when Sam came back from the dungeon. 

“Anything?” I asked. 

Sam shook his head as he sat down in front of me. We both sighed. Tired of the same song and dance Crowley was putting us through. We worked for another hour before I finally groaned and out my forehead against the surface of the table. “That bad huh?” Sam asked. 

“It’s official.” I grumbled. “My brain is fried.” 

I sat back up at the sound of the bunker door opening up and Dean’s presence coming back into the bunker. “Hey. How'd it go with Kevin?” Sam asked. 

Dean stopped at the balcony and said, “Oh, that little nerd is in a lovely warded hotel room in Branson. He's got about 48 hours of pay-per-porn and Kenny Rogers ahead of him.” I rolled my eyes at that and returned my forehead to the table. 

“How’s he feeling?” 

I could hear Dean walk down the steps as he said, “Well, he stared at the Angel tablet and repeated the word ‘falafel’ for the entire ride. Kid's cracked. I'm hoping this break will, uh, clear his head.” 

I felt both their eyes on me. “He’s not the only one who’s cracked.” Sam quipped. 

“Hey!” I said sitting up. “I’m fine...just...okay, my brain’s fried.” I told Dean after he gave me a look. 

He smiled, “You know, after everything that happened, I figured we could use a little break ourselves,” he opened up the plastic bag he brought back with him, “so I, uh, picked you guys up season one _Game of Thrones_. Figured we'd get a little takeout.” 

I sat back on the chair with a small smile. “A break sounds lovely.” I said. 

“Alright. Well, first, I think I might have found a way to help Cas.” Sam said. 

A wave of panic and concern came from Dean at the sound of the angel’s name. “Did you talk to him?” 

Sam and I exchanged a confused look, but he said, “No. And, by the way, I still don't understand why he left in the first place. I mean, the bunker is the safest place for him. Bartholomew and-and who knows how many other angels are out there, gunning for them.” 

I crossed my arms and looked at Dean expectantly. “Yeah, Dean. What’s up with that?” I knew he was hiding something, and I wanted to know. 

“Hey, look, nobody wants him here more than I do, okay? But, uh, he felt like he'd bring trouble down on us, so he had to split. But if you got a way to help him, I'm all ears.” All vague truths. I wanted to call him out on his bullshit, but decided that I wouldn’t, not until he did a bold faced lie. 

Sam looked to me then said, “Alright. So, Kevin said the table lit up like a Christmas tree when the angels fell, right?” 

“So?” 

“So it turns out each light was where a cluster of angels fell. So I'm thinking maybe there's some way to hot-wire this, make it track angels. That way, we could help Cas steer clear of danger.” 

Dean nodded, “This was...your idea?” 

“My brain’s too fried to come up with something like that right now.” I said as I raised my arms above my head to stretch. 

Still Dean looked at Sam for answer, a wave of amusement came from him as he said, “Do you see anybody else in here?” 

We both chuckled. Dean then asked, “So, how would it work?” 

“Oh, no idea. See, at first, I thought the table was the computer, but it's not. It turns out it's just part of it.” Sam said tapping the top of it. “But I did find these cables underneath, and I followed them. You're never gonna believe what I found.” 

Sam stood and we both followed him down the hall. He led us to a room towards the back of the place and turned on the lights. It’s walls were lined with electrical panels and shelves, but in its center was a large and very old computer. 

“Voilà.” Sam said. 

I raised my eyebrows as I went up to it, “This is a computer?” I asked half-jokingly. 

The boys started to walk around it with me as Sam said. “Yeah—or it was in 1951, when it was installed. Now, here's the crazy thing. It's not plugged in to anything. I mean, I have no idea what's making this thing work.” 

Dean went behind the thing and put his hands on it. “It’s warm here.” He looked at the shelf behind him as I went to his side of the computer. He found a flathead screwdriver and began to pry the panel off. As he did, the pop of the metal surface, which spanned the back of the thing made both him and I stumble back against the shelf. “Got it.” 

The three of us then crouched to take a look at the wires and other parts that were revealed. “Huh.” Sam said with a wave of curiosity. 

“Well, that looks simple. Does it come with a manual?” Dean said sarcastically and a wave of annoyance. 

I rolled my eyes. Then looked at Sam, “Does it?” 

“Nothing in the archives, and I obviously couldn't find anything like it online, not to mention I'm pretty sure that the Men of Letters doesn't exactly have I.T. support anymore, either.” 

Then a wave of realization came from Dean, who smiled at the thought, “I think I know somebody who could help us. Come on.” We left the room and Dean made one phone call. 

Soon enough, Sam and I were sent out to go pick up Charlie. She had set up shop about an hour away from us working in IT. So we left Dean at the bunker and took my Dodge. 

I was so happy to be able to take it out again. As much as I had problems with the angel’s that gave it to me, I loved car. So Sam and I drove the hour there, excited to see Charlie but also to drive without a looming hunt over our heads. We just drove to see our friend. Like normal people for once. 

“This will be good.” I said as we got into town. “I miss her.” 

“Me too.” Sam replied. “Hope she can figure the thing out.” 

I scoffed, “It’s Charlie. Of course she will.” Soon enough, we pulled up in front of the apartment building she was staying at with her standing on the front steps with her bag. 

We both got out as she greeted, “Granger!” 

“Weasly!” I said and gave her a big hug. After we let go she gave Sam one too. 

Then she saw my car. “Woah! Nice ride.” 

“Thanks.” I said proudly. “She’s all mine.” 

“When you get it?” She asked as she climbed into the backseat. I returned to the driver’s seat and turned it on. 

“Few weeks ago.” We drove away and proceeded to fill her in on what was going on a little. Starting with how the trials went. It wasn’t the easiest conversation but Charlie of course was supportive. 

Eventually we got to the bunker. Sam carried Charlie’s bag as I opened up the door for her. As we walked in and came down stairs, Sam announced to Dean, who was sitting at the war table now, “Look who’s it is.” 

“Hey. Thanks for coming.” Dean said as he stood then gave Charlie a hug. Joy was coming from all three of us. 

“Not a problem,” she replied. “especially since I got fired last week.” With a wave of frustration, may I add. 

Sam set her bag on the table as I said, “What? What happened?” 

“Turns out the company I work for was outsourcing to child labor, so I took a big Wikileak all over that.” She smiled at that. “And, yeah. It's cool, though. It's given me more time to focus on my hobbies...like larping, macrame, and...hunting.” 

Shock and concern came over the three of us. Dean out his hands on his hips as he said, “Excuse me?” 

“Okay. It was just a couple little cases. I took down a teenage vampire and a ghost...which sounds like a Y.A. novel if you say it out loud.” She said. Sam and I exchanged a look. 

“Charlie, how’d it go?” Sam asked her. 

“It was, uh...It was intense. But I kind of wish hunting was more...magical, you know?” Dean rolled his eyes while Sam was waving off confusion. I was just a little shocked. “Never mind. So, where is this Commodore 64 of yours?” 

I chuckled a little, and said, “We’ll take you to it. Follow me.” I led her through the bunker with Sam and Dean now both waving off concern for Charlie. Hell I did too, but I kept my mouth shut. 

When we walked in, Charlie was waving off excitement. As she looked it over and began to start figuring it out, she said “Sweet Ada Lovelace. This thing belongs in a museum. I mean, it's got encryption software. It seems to be powered by something magical.” 

“Skip to the end.” Dean said. I rolled my eyes. Magic sounded like a lot of fun and more reliable to me. 

“It's kind of an alarm system. Global badness? It freaks. This computer is what locked this place down.” 

I nodded as Sam asked, “Can we use it to track angels?” 

“Alright. Let me see what I can do.” She said then swiftly got to work. She pulled out a fancy new tablet computer and began hooking it up for access and what not. At last she plugged it in and was able to connect. “Alright. It took some doing, but now we can download. This beast has all the Men of Letters files. Time for a little drag-and-drop.” 

“Wow. Well, it's a start. Thank you. Um, that's-that's great.” Sam said then Dean gave a silent signal to his brother. They both clearly wanted to know more about Charlie’s hunting escapades. 

Before neither one of them could bite the bullet, I said, “So, you’ve been hunting.” 

“Alone.” Dean added with a wave of protectiveness. 

She then said, “I know. Not a good idea, according to the _Supernatural_ books.” 

Waves of annoyance came off of the two brothers as I covered my mouth to hide my laugh and grin. I didn’t know why I found the books so amusing. Maybe it was the boys reaction to it. “You really can't delete those from the Internet?” Sam asked. 

“Not even _I_ can do that. Come on!” She said. 

“Where do you even find them?” Dean asked. 

Charlie and I shared a smile. She discovered it weeks ago and sent me the links in case I ever got curious. Though I never did on my promise to the boys that I wouldn’t. “A top-secret place I call Amazon. And someone uploaded all the unpublished works. I thought it was fanfic at first, but it was clearly Edlund's work.” That was news to me. 

“Who uploaded it?” 

“I don't know. Their screen name was beckywinchester176. Ring a bell?” 

I couldn’t hold my laughter in anymore, hiding it as a coughing fit, as Dean turned sharply to Sam. Sam just barely rolled over his words, “None. Uh, nobody's. Uh, no, there are no bells. Uh...No.” 

Charlie then looked at me with a knowing look and I gave her a wink. A silent promise that I would give her the proper explanation without the boys around. She then said, “Ugh, these files are encrypted. This is gonna take a while. So, takeout, sleepover, braid each other's hair?” 

“Got an idea.” 

“ _Game of Thrones_?” I asked. “We just got the dvd set. Haven’t seen it.” 

She nodded. “I’m down. Drinks?” 

I got excited a moment, “you know what? Margaritas? I’ve been dying to make sorority girl margaritas for ages.” 

She laughed as Dean asked, “You were in a sorority?” 

“No, but I had to stay in one for a case. And I loved their midnight margarita party.” The wave of amusement told me Dean wished he was there too. 

…

Charlie and I enjoyed one batch, while the boys sipped on beers, as we watched through the first season of the show. We ended up watching it in Sam’s room, who had installed a TV in there ages ago, and enjoyed the binge watch. The boys sat on chairs while Charlie and I sat on the bed. 

As we finished the last episode, Dean turned off the tv with a wave of anger. “Wow. That Joffrey's a dick.” 

“Right?” I asked. “Poor Arya.” I said. She had become my favorite character during the time. 

Charlie then said, “Oh, you have no idea. Wait until he-“ 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! S-spoilers.” Sam said, “I haven't read all the books yet.” 

“You’re gonna read the books?” Dean asked. 

I rolled my eyes as Sam said, “Yes, Dean. I like to read books—you know, the ones without pictures.” 

The elder brother gave off a wave of annoyance. Then Charlie turned to ask Sam, “Man, this bed is about as comfortable as a brick.” I nodded in agreement with a knowing smile. “Any plans on moving in anytime soon?” 

“I am moved in. This is just my style.” He said. 

I scoffed. “No way.” Charlie and I both looked up to Dean for an explanation. 

“Yeah, this is his, uh, style.” 

“Well, I'm sorry I haven't hung up the, uh, ‘Hang in there, kitty’ poster yet, Dean. Feel free to redecorate.” 

I smirked. “Is that an open invitation?” I asked cheekily. Still both Sam and Dean were waving off annoyance at each other. 

Dean then said, “So, what, our home's not good enough for the ‘Hang in there, kitty’ poster?”

“This isn't our home. This is where we work.” My face fell at Sam’s words. 

“What’s the difference?” 

Charlie and I looked at eachother, both of us waving off discomfort as they fought. Dean then got up from his seat and said, “Alright, well, I'm gonna go get us some more beers. How about that?” 

As Dean left the room, I asked gently, “This doesn’t feel like home?” 

Sam sighed then turned to Charlie, avoiding the question, “So, Charlie, what was all that about how hunting isn't magical?”

Charlie and I shared a look then she said, “Saving people, hunting things, the family business? I am down.” She got up from the bed. “But...I was raised on Tolkien, man. I mean, where is all this?” She held up the dvd for the show. “Where are my White Walkers and my volcano and magic ring to throw in the damn thing? Where—where's my quest?”

Sam and I then shared a look, thinking back on the trials. “Magic, quests...suck. Trust me. They're all dead ends.” 

“At least in this world.” I said. “Maybe that’s what makes fiction so great. It's really hard to find.” 

Later, after Dean returned with the beer, it was time for Charlie to check on her computer. So the four of us left Sam’s room and went straight to the back room. “Download should be done by now.” She said as we entered. 

Then I looked up to see that the shelf behind the unit had been moved. “What the hell?” Dean said when he followed my stare. “Sam, give me a hand. 

The two men put their hands on the shelf and moved it away. On the wall was a large grey pod like thing that seemed to have grown onto the wall. Sam and I both pulled out our guns and aimed it at the thing as Dean took out a knife. He slashed a small bit of it, only to have a human hand slump out of it. Then I could sense waves from whoever owned it. 

I put my gun away. “Whoever that is, they're still alive.” I said with an edge of panic. Dean looked back me a moment and cut the rest of the goup. A young woman in a leather jacket and dark brown hair fell from it and onto the ground unconscious. Dean drew his gun and turned the woman over to see her face. The four of us exchanged a confused look before she began to come to. 

I crouched next to her and said, “hey. Hey you're alright.” We got her sitting with a blanket, once we figured she wasn’t a threat, she told us who she was. Dorothy. Dorothy Baum. She told us that she was a hunter for the Men of Letters, so Dean ran out and fetched a case where he had seen the name before. 

Charlie was excited as ever to learn more about the woman and why she was here. “Holy crap! The first case investigated in this bunker involved Dorothy. She and the witch came into this room, and they never came out. This will never stop blowing my mind!” 

I smiled. Dean just said, “Okay, pace yourself, Toto.” 

“Oz is real! It's part of the fairy world.”

Still the woman was waving off concern and panic, “We have to find her.” She said. 

Sam was still on edge about her, but also knew that we had to tell her what year it was. He then said, “No, we have to talk before anyone does anything, okay? Dorothy?” 

“Talk? Typical Men of Letters, standing around, having a nice, little chat with your noses buried in your books while your little secretaries takes notes.

Dean, Charlie, and I all took offense to that. Dean then said, “We’re hunters.” 

“And who are you calling secretaries?” I asked. 

Confusion came from her. “You're not a secretary?” She asked me directly. “You're both Women of Letters? W—how long have I been out?”

Sam and I exchanged a look, “That's why we need to talk.” He said. “Look, you've been gone for over 75 years. Now, according to our files, you came here to kill the wicked witch and then disappeared. What happened?” 

Confusion and slight panic came from her at the news, but remained calm. “We couldn't find a way to kill her, so I did the only thing that I could. A binding spell that came at a price—her soul with mine.” 

“So you've been frozen with the witch for all this time?” I asked. 

“Yes.” She stood up, and in turn so did Sam and I, “Look, the witch cannot be killed. If I am awake, then so is she.” 

“Okay. Then we need to find her. What do you know about her?” 

“I cut out her tongue for one.” A wave of impression came from all three of us at that. 

“Wait, if she's here, why didn't she kill you?” Sam asked. 

“She can’t.” Before Dorothy could explain, a wave of excitement came from Charlie. 

“You're protected by the Witch of the North's kiss. It's from the books.” 

I would have smirked at that, but the impatience from Dorothy interrupted it, “Oh, forget the books! They're not important. I'm protected. You aren't. Now, the witch came here looking for something. I have no idea what it is. But we have to find her before she finds it.” 

Dean then said, “Alright, alright. Charlie, dig into the files. See if you can find anything that puts a dent in a witch.” 

I turned to her and the tablet in front of her, “I’ll help.” 

“Sam and I will have a look-see. Come on.” 

Dorothy then said, “I’m helping.” 

Sam then stepped up and told her, “Yeah, I don't doubt it. But for right now, why don't you rest up and help the smartest person in the room?” 

“Be careful.” I shouted to them as they left the room. 

Charlie then looked up to Dorothy with a smile. “So big fan.” 

“Hmm.” She said with a wave of annoyance. 

Charlie then started, “Ozma of Oz-“ 

“Is a total ass.” 

The wave of dejection from Charlie made me frown, so I pressed a hand to her shoulder. “You were much nicer in the books.” 

“Those books are the ravings of a sad, old man, my father.” 

“Wait.” I said, “Your dad was L. Frank Baum, the writer?” 

“A Man of Letters. Another glorified librarian, you ask me.” I smirked at that. 

“Hey, these guys may have been sexist, but like all librarians, they were wicked smart, too. The dude who was here when you came in—Haggerty—he kept your case file open,” as Charlie spoke I looked at the file on her screen, “worked it every day until he retired. Obviously, he never found you, but if you took five seconds to read, he did find a way to fight the Wicked Witch. Do you remember the poppy fields in the first book?” When I heard about it, I pictured the endless poppy field in the old movie.

“That's not actually how it happened. It was much bloodier.” Charlie and I both made a face. 

“Stop...ruining my childhood. Do you remember the poppies?” Dorothy nodded. “Good. Haggerty made a deal with a fairy and got some poppy extract.” 

I smirked, “Thinking what I’m thinking?” I asked. She smiled back. 

She then turned to Dorothy. “We’re gonna get some bullets from the gun range and make us some poppy bullets. So, are you coming or what?” She nodded and we left the room. I pulled out my gun and kept it trained ahead of us as I moved towards the range. I relied on more than just my sight however, keeping my walls down for the witch. Lucky for us, I didn’t sense anyone. 

Once we got into the range and knew it was safe, the three of us quickly got to work. Putting together the bullets wasn’t hard, but unfortunately we could only make a small sum. So once we were finished, I pulled out two more guns for Dorothy and Charlie, and I zeroed in on the boys. They were in the kitchen.

Once we walked in the boys turned quickly with their guns drawn. Once they saw us they relaxed. “Sorry. We raided the gun range.” I told them. 

Charlie then said, “Made us some poppy bullets. They won't kill the witch, but they will stun the crap out of her.” 

I smiled at her, “all Charlie’s idea.” 

A wave of pride came from Dean, “That’s my girl.” He said. 

“There was only enough for five bullets, so...make each shot count.” She said as I handed one each to Sam and Dean from my pocket. They began loading up their guns.

Dorothy was looking around, with waves of urgency as she said, “Now we just have to find her before she finds whatever the hell's she's looking for.” 

“She’s looking for a key.” Sam said. 

“How do you know?” Charlie asked. 

“Little birdie told us. Ring any bells, Dorothy?” 

A wave of panic came from her, “Unfortunately. It's the key to Oz. There are magical ways into Oz—tornado, eye of a hurricane, whirlpool—but this key will turn any locked door into a portal to Oz. Insert key, twist, and presto, you're in Oz.” 

“How did the Men of Letters get the key?” I asked. 

“I have no idea, but if she finds it, she'll go back and finish what she started. She'll destroy all that is good in Oz. She's got armies of witches, flying monkeys. Many will die.” 

“What’s this key look like?” Dean asked. Dorothy then went into her pocket and pulled out a leather bound journal, she then showed us a picture of an ornate key like object. “I've seen that key. Found it when I was doing inventory.” 

“Where is it now?” She asked. 

“My room. We got to get to that key. Alright, Charlie and I will go look in my room. Why don't you guys buy us some time?” 

With a nod, Sam, Dorothy, and I left to go looking for the wicked witch. With our guns drawn, we kept looking for her. I kept my walls down, looking for any notion of her, but so far nothing. 

As we walked through the war room, Dorothy said, “I can't believe I've lived here for 75 years. How long have you called this place home?” 

I smiled a bit, “Well, his brother and I call it home, but…” 

I looked to Sam expectantly, “Me, I, uh-I haven't had that much luck with homes.” A wave of guilt came from him. I knew I would have to talk about this later with him. 

“Me neither.” Dorothy said, “Overrated, you ask me. Yellow bricks or not, give me the open road any day.” 

Then I felt a new presence behind us, I turned and saw an old cloaked woman behind Sam. Dorothy looked up too and we trained her guns on the witch, “Sam!” I shouted and he ducked out of the way. 

Dorothy shot at her, but missed as the Witch disappeared in a green smoke and into an air vent above. “Dammit.” I said as I refrained from firing.

“She can get anywhere from there. Split up, cover more ground?” She asked Sam. 

He nodded, “Stay together. I’ll go this way.” Sam ran off in one direction while Dorothy and I went the other. I thought back on the witch. I felt nothing but pure darkness and evil from her. It was spine chilling, and I only hoped that we would find her sooner than later. 

As we combed through the bunker, Dorothy looked at me a second, “so the tall one?” 

I smirked, “Boyfriend.” 

“You two have pretty differing views on what home is Huh?” She asked. 

I shook my head. “Something we need to talk about, after the wicked bitch is taken care of.” I smiled, “if you ask me I wish we had a house to drop on her.” 

She chuckled, but said, “come on, let’s keep going.” 

As we looked through more rooms with no more luck, I was beginning to think that she was long gone. Then I sensed it again. That strange energy that I had sensed the last few weeks. I took pause as I felt it, then there was a huge spike as I got Dorothy to move towards it without a word. Then it was gone. _I seriously need to ask the boys about it._ I thought to myself. 

As we moved, I found waves of fear and relief were coming from Dean’s room. I heard him say, “That's a good question. I, uh—I clipped her with a—with a poppy bullet. She got the key. I think she's gone.” 

Dorothy and I quickly entered, “No. She's wounded. We should still have some time. She could still be in the air vents.” She told him. 

Charlie then tried to move from the bed. She was now waving off exhaustion. “Charlie?” I said as I went to my friend. 

“No. No, no. She's right. We—we have to-we—“ I steadied her. 

“Woah. Woah. It’s okay.” I said. 

“Just go. We’ll catch up.” Dorothy ordered. 

Charlie then gestured to Sam, who also seemed to have taken a hit but was okay as he stood, “M-my gun's over there. There's one bullet in it.” Sam then grabbed the gun and pressed a hand to my shoulder briefly before both of them left the room. 

Dorothy was then on the other side of the bed, helping with Charlie. In her daze she asked, “Can we be best friends now?” 

We chuckled at that. “Just rest a few minutes, okay?” I said. I looked around. Dean’s room was trashed from the fight, and as I thought back, so was the kitchen. “Dean’s going to have a fun time cleaning this up.” I said dryly. 

As Charlie regained her composure and her strength, she then said, “I had the weirdest dream when I was out. It was Christmas, and my parents were still alive, and-“ 

“Dream?” Dorothy interrupted, “Charlie, you died. Don't worry about it, though. You're not a real hunter until you've died and come back again.” 

Both of our eyes were wide as Charlie said, “Slow down. Why would you think I died?” 

“Heaven—it's your dream life.” She explained, “And if you were zapped by the Wicked Witch. Instant death. I would know. She killed me, too.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Okay. Let's rewind here a bit. When did _you_ die?” I asked. 

“In Oz. My father was obsessed with his work as a Man of Letters, and then I was born...and nothing changed. He would keep his work a secret, but I was such a curious kid.” A small wave of nostalgia came from her. “I was always looking for trouble, looking for the next big adventure.” As she spoke, I looked to Charlie being reminded of her talk of magic. 

“I know the feeling.” Charlie replied. 

“I stowed away on one of his cases, wound up in the emerald city, accidentally got left behind. It was...terrifying.” 

“Well, what happened?” 

“I met up with these three freedom fighters, and they thought I was this child of destiny _chosen_ to kill the Wicked Witch. They protected me, and then the witch turned them into-“ 

“A scarecrow, a tin man, and a lion?” Charlie and I asked in unison. 

She nodded. “And then she hunted me down and killed me.” She said with a small wave of annoyance. 

“Yeah, that never made it to the books.” Charlie said. 

“Or the movie.” I added. 

Dorothy shook her head, “Sometimes real life is darker than fiction.” After a few minuets, Charlie seemed to get her bearings back. 

I was the only one left with a poppy bullet, so I kept watch for the witch at the door. Still Dorothy insisted on watching with me. “And what about the books?” Charlie asked her, now standing. 

“Revisionist history. That's my father's way of trying to undo what had happened to me. But I knew the truth.” We all looked at each other and Charlie gave me a nod. We began moving through the bunker, me taking lead with my gun. “When the witch came to our world, I became a hunter, and my father wrote those silly books.” 

“Hold on...he wrote them _after_ she came to this world?” I asked. When she nodded, a wave of realization came from Charlie. 

“Don't you get it? The books aren't _silly_.” Charlie told her, “They're guidebooks filled with clues he left for you. Haggerty pored through each one, and his research led him to uncover the poppies, so maybe there's something else from the books we can use, preferably something with a pointy end.” 

Dorothy smiled when it hit her. “You are a genius. Come on. We've got to get to the garage.” 

She started towards the opposite direction when Charlie and I gave each other a look. We followed her as I asked, “There’s a garage in this palace?!” 

“Oh, boy.” Charlie said with a wave of excitement. We followed Dorothy right to an unmarked door. I was shocked to see that it opened up to a large garage. It was surprisingly ornate with lots of iron work. It’s concrete walls protected the several vintage cars that had been stored there. Then we found a few slots for some gorgeous vintage motorcycles. 

“Woah.” I said as we entered. “Why didn’t I find this place sooner?” 

Then Dorothy said as she found what she was looking for, “Yes. I knew those boy scouts would keep it for me.” 

The three of us rushed over to a vintage 1930’s bike that I could practically drool over. She went over to the saddle bag on it and took out what looked like a metal head with a face. 

A wave of realization came from Charlie, “Is that…?” 

“Yeah. He didn’t make it.” Dorothy said with a wave of sadness. She then moved the head and kept digging through her things. “Please be here. Please be here.” A wave of relief came from her. “Yes!” She pulled out a pair of ruby red high heels. 

“I don’t believe it.” I said with a smirk. “Slippers.” 

“Did you really walk down a brick road in these?” Charlie asked. 

“No. I never actually wore them. Seemed kind of tacky wearing a dead woman's shoes. Plus, I'm no good in heels, you know?” 

I chuckled. Charlie had one in her hands as she examined it. “I don't suppose we could just wish her away?” She asked. 

“Sorry. Another thing the books got wrong. But, like the poppies, these have magic from Oz—sharp magic.” She said holding up a heel like a weapon. 

“Oh. Death by shoe?” The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I sensed the boys come into the room, but they were waving off something completely different. Something evil. 

“There you are.” Dean said in a deep and chilling voice. We all stared up at them. 

When Charlie turned, she wore a grin thinking that they were joking. “Was that your Batman voice?” With the flash of green light in their eyes, we all knew they were under the witch’s spell. “That's definitely not your Batman voice.” 

“It’s her. She possessed the both of them.” My heart dropped at Dorothy’s words. 

“I missed you, my pretty.” Sam said. 

“Killing you a second time will be just as sweet as the first.” Dean then said. 

Charlie looked at me, but I was frozen. I had never been faced with the boys before, and it was terrifying. Charlie then pleaded. “Guys, I know you're in there. Dean, you can't let the witch do this. If she opens the door, she's going to destroy Oz.” 

Dean then grabbed Charlie by the shoulders and threw her through a glass window in the room, keeping her there in his hands. “I have no intention of escaping to Oz. I'm going to bring my armies here.” He said as he moved towards her. 

Sam then started moving towards Dorothy and I. “Sam. It’s me!” I pleaded. “Fight her.” Then without warning I took my gun out, intending on shooting him in the leg, but he was too quick. He grabbed the gun and threw it across the room. Then he sucker punched me in the jaw, sending me to the concrete floor. 

I staggered up as Sam closed in on Dorothy, who looked ready for a fight. Then I heard Charlie say, “Sorry about the nards, Dean.” 

Suddenly pain came from him as he doubled over. “Nice shot! Now go!” I said. 

Dorothy then threw the other heel to Charlie, “Go. We’ll buy you some time.” Charlie ran out of the room, as Dean stood up. I rushed over to Dorothy past Sam to stand between them and Dorothy. She now had a random broom handle. “Alright. Let's see what you pencil necks are made of.” 

“Just don’t kill ‘em alright?” Then with a nod, we rushed at the brothers. Throwing a punch here and a kick there. We had an even match. They both had size and strength against us, but thankfully we had agility and speed. For every punch I threw at Sam though, he threw one back harder. Eventually Dorothy and I staggered back, both a little bloody and bruised. Breathing hard, still not intending to let them through. She had lost her broom handle. 

“Alright, let's do this the old-fashioned way.” Dorothy said while raising her fists. She looked ready for a boxing match. I did the same. 

Then Sam said, “My body cannot hurt you, Dorothy.” 

“But theirs can.” Dean finished pulling out his knife. Soon enough, they were on us again, this time with Dean throwing me towards the massive garage doors. The wind was knocked out of my lungs as Sam grabbed Dorothy and Dean held his demon knife to her throat. 

“No!” I squeaked as I fought for breath. Before Dean could kill her, I sensed the evil dissipate from them, and their eyes glowed green again. Confusion wafted off them as I stood and they let Dorothy go. 

“What the hell just happened?” Sam asked, his voice normal now. 

Dorothy and I shared a smirk. “Charlie.” We said in unison. Both Sam and Dean then had waves of realization when they saw how beat up Dorothy and I were. But there was no time. 

Soon enough, I found my gun on the floor and we booked it through the bunker. We then found Charlie on the balcony of the war room. She smiled brightly as she showed us the key. “Ding-dong, bitches.” 

We all sighed in relief. “Hell yeah, lady.” I said to her. 

…

Sam went off to deal with Crowley, since the boys had to let him out of his chains in order to get info on the Witch, so Dean and I proceeded to figure out exactly where the garage was. We needed to load all of our vehicles there. The truck and the dodge fit perfectly. And my bike found her new home right next to Dorothy’s bike. The Impala was last, front and center, ready to go at the drop of a hat. 

Soon enough, we grabbed Dorothy, the both of us were cleaned up from the fight, and took her out of the garage to get her back to Oz. All four of us walked in to say goodbye. “Baby looks good in here, huh?” 

Sam sighed, happy with it. “Not bad.” 

Charlie then called Dean over to the side to speak as I showed Dorothy my own beloved bike. “Here she is.” I said. 

“Wow. Seen a lot?” She asked. 

“Yeah, made in the late ‘50s. But she’s great. Don’t take her out as much as I like to though.” 

Sam then said, “Dorothy, I, uh-I found something in the archives. Pretty sure it belongs to you.” He handed her a vintage copy of _The Wonderful World of Oz._

She smiled at it, though her waves of conflict told me it was one of a strange nature. “You have no idea how odd it is having a series of books written about you.” 

Sam and I shared a smile as he said, “Actually, I-I do know, uh, and it is definitely weird. But you know what? End of the day, it's our story, so we get to write it.” 

I nodded at that. “So then, am I unbanned from reading the _Supernatural_ books?” I laughed at the bitch face he threw me and put my palms up. “Kidding.” 

Soon enough, Dean and Charlie joined us again, “Not bad for a bunch of librarians. You mind keeping an eye on my bike for me?” 

“Yeah, yeah, as long as you don't mind me taking it for a spin once in a while.” Dean said. 

I smirked, “Hold up, you know how to ride one of these?” 

He nodded proudly, and Dorothy said, “Deal. Thank you for everything. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a rebellion to finish.” She then turned to Charlie. “So, you coming or what?” 

We all waved off shock and confusion. “What? With you? To Oz?” 

“Yeah. You said you were looking for adventure. Well, here it is, Red. Come help me find my damn dog.” 

The wave of concern that came from Dean told me he didn’t want her to go. “You have no idea what's in Oz. I mean, t-there's flying monkeys, armies of witches. There's all kinds of danger.” 

Charlie smiled. “Promise?” She then jumped up and gave a huge hug to Dean. To which he smiled at little and let it go. Then she moved to Sam. 

“If you need anything, just, uh, tap your heels together three times, okay?” He asked as she pulled away. 

“Me? What about you crazy kids? You gonna be alright without me?” 

I smiled, “course. I’m gonna miss you, Weasley.” 

She smiled back then gave me a hug. “You too Granger.” After she pulled away from me, a small wave of sadness but also one of anticipation and excitement came from her. “Take care of yourselves.” 

We all nodded as she stepped towards Dorothy. The hunter then went up to the large garage doors and took out the Oz key. She inserted it into the lock and then they opened it. Beyond it was a beautiful landscape with flowers and forests in Golden sunshine. And a yellow brick road leading right up to the door. In the distance, you could see Emerald City. “Woah.” I said as both girls walked through the doors and onto the path. They both turned and waved goodbye. We waved back and stared a moment. 

Then the doors closed on their own, the colors still bright as the doors came back together. Once they were closed, Sam and Dean pushed on them again to reveal the tunnel that led to the garage. A wave of sadness came from Dean. “Think she’ll be back?” He asked. 

“Of course.” Sam replied then looked to the two of us. “There's no place like home.” 

We all smiled at that. Somehow I knew he wasn’t talking about the bunker. I think I finally understood what home exactly meant for Sam now. It wasn’t a place. It was the people he loved. It was the three of us. And suddenly being with them felt like a home I never wanted to leave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next! Dog Dean Afternoon!


	5. Dog Dean Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking on a new case, Dean sort of gets turned into a dog. Plus, I’ve grown more suspicious of his behavior as of late and I finally confront him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love this episode. Makes me laugh every time. In the process of writing this, I decided for reader to not get the lines from the dog because it didn’t make a lot of sense for two people to use the spell. But you get some of the reactions.

_“A dog is one of the few things in life, that is exactly what is seems.”_ —Unknown

  
  


I went to bed that night exhausted. Sam and I spent the better part of the evening looking for a new case and had come up with very little. Just as we were on the cusp of something, I was falling asleep at the library table. So Sam sent me to bed and would later join me after he put together some notes on the potential case. 

When I dragged myself into my room, I just stripped off my jeans and t-shirt leaving myself in my underwear and bra, too tired to bother with some pj’s. A rare occurrence but nothing that bothered me. I climbed into bed and curled up under the covers, sleep overtaking me in minutes. 

In my dreams however, my brain seemed to be in overdrive. The earliest I could remember, was sitting on the beach. The waves crashing onto the sand soothing me as I sat on a blanket in a white sundress. The sun warmed my skin in the afternoon air. I breathed in the salty breeze as I sensed someone approaching me from behind. 

There was a familiarity about them that made me not jump to my feet, almost calmed by their presence. Soon enough, someone was sitting at my side. My ease of the place let me not immediately turn to my companion, but I said. “Beautiful day isn’t it.” 

“Yes, as are you.” The gentle and sweet voice said. It wasn’t Sam’s like I would have expected. I would dream about him and Dean often. Especially in settings like this. But I turned my head to see the owner it belonged to. 

A man with sandy blonde hair and light eyes looked down at me. Even sitting he seemed to tower over me. His smile was gentle, and he stared into my eyes. “Who are you?” I asked. I tried to find where I knew him from, but couldn’t quite pinpoint it. 

“Nevermind that…” he said then brushed the hair out of my face. “Just keep being as you are...could you smile for me?” 

“But there’s nothing to smile about...make me laugh.” I replied, suddenly wanting to ease the sudden tension. 

“I’m not very good at that...but I’ll try.” He tried to make a joke but it fell flat. I laughed anyway rewarding him for the valiant try. 

“Could you tell me your name at least?” I asked. 

He just stared at me again. A sad smile spread across his face. “In due time little one. In due time.” Before I could even ask what he meant, I was woken up. It was my own body’s accord.

As I came back into consciousness, I was just confused and very tired. I was still in bed, now with Sam pressed against my back, holding my body to his in sleep. In my drowsiness and wishing for more, I lazily turned in his arms and snuggled into his chest. His soft v-neck t-shirt comforted me as his arms tightened around me unconsciously. 

I sensed his contentment in his sleep and enjoyed it. It didn’t even bother to peek at my alarm clock in the dark, knowing it was still the middle of the night. As I was beginning to fall back to sleep, I sensed the strange presence again. It was small, but there. And it seemed to be coming from Sam. He stirred a little as I froze. I felt him kiss the top of my head and relax again as the presence faded. I was puzzled, but still so tired. I drifted back to sleep despite the strange presence. 

The next morning, I woke up when Sam left the bed for his run. I couldn’t go back to sleep, so after he left the room I got up myself. I showered and got dressed, following my morning routine with ease as I thought less and less about the dream I had the night before, and the strange presence I had been sensing every now and again. 

I grabbed a cup of coffee and began working at the war table. Instead of the case, which I did have sitting in front of me in a stack of notes and papers, I opened up the file I had on Reagan. The findings on him and Abaddon had been scarce, but I checked on my sources almost every day. That and any demon omens across the states. That day I had nothing new. 

When I sensed Sam approached the room, knowing he was probably going to sit down with me on the case, I closed the file back up. “Hey.” I said casually then took a sip from my coffee. 

“Hey.” Sam said with a smile. He was freshly showered from his run and had waves of contentment and anticipation come off him. 

He sat in front of me and began his work in the case as well. Soon enough Dean entered the room. “Wow,” he said to himself, with waves of shock come off him. 

“What?” I asked, looking up from writing a note in my journal. 

“Kevin. Just poured some buffalo milk down his gob, twice.” He replied casually. 

“Buffalo milk?” Sam asked for the two of us.

“Yeah, the hangover cure-all. It's got everything in it. Except buffalo milk.” 

“How is that kid still recovering from Branson?” 

“What can I say? He's an amateur.” I rolled my eyes at that. “The slippery nipple shots at the Dolly Parton Dixie Stampede nearly killed the guy.” 

Sam just chuckled a little and said, “Alright. Well, uh, we got something that’s gonna get us back on the road.”

Dean sat down next to Sam, and I shut my laptop. Dean then asked with a wave of concern, “a case?” 

“Yeah.” I said. 

“You sure you're ready for that?” Dean asked directly to Sam. 

I furrowed my eyebrows at Dean while Sam said, “Why would I not be ready for that?” 

“Aren't you kind of running on empty?” 

“Yeah, but the last three nights straight, I had eight hours of shut-eye. For a hunter, that's like 20. Trust me, Dean. I feel good.” 

“Well, that's great and all, James Brown, but you're still recovering from the trials. I think you ought to pace yourself, you know? And the sooner you heal…” 

When he trailed off, Sam and I exchanged a look, then he said, “Yeah?” 

“I just want you back to your old self.” 

“I am, Dean. Look, Kevin's back on the heaven spell. Crowley's locked up. We should be out there doing what we do best.” 

Still his waves of concern over his brother were there but he put his feet up on the table. “Dean,” I said, “he says he’s okay. You can quit worrying. Isn’t that what you would tell me?” 

“Yeah…” Dean said. 

“You want to listen at least?” Sam asked, but didn’t wait for an answer. “Okay, great. Taxidermist named Max Alexander mysteriously crushed to death. Nearly every joint in his body dislocated, every bone broken. Poor guy is a human pretzel. You tell me what's got that kind of strength.” 

After hearing that, Dean seemed to let up on the worry, “A demonic luchador?” He asked half jokingly. 

I chuckled then said, “Shop's a couple hours away in Enid, Oklahoma. We should at least check it out. Unless there's some reason you think we shouldn't.” 

Dean didn’t bother answering me on that. I just smiled and finished my coffee. After checking on poor, hungover Kevin one last time, the three of us grabbed our stuff for the road and headed out. 

Once we made it to Enid, the three of us switched to our Fed threads and headed straight to the shop, which was still under investigation. 

As we walked up, we were met with the glass window of the taxidermy shop, which had bright red graffiti on it. It said, ‘DIE SCUM.’ That was just the first evidence we could see. “Subtle.” Dean said as we walked towards the glass door. 

“Check that out.” I said as I noticed a symbol scratched into the paint on the M. It looked like a dog’s paw print inside an inverted triangle. 

“Huh.” Sam said as he took out his phone and took a picture of it. The three of us then went inside. The pace was crowded with many mounted heads of various animals as well as several stuffed, whole ones. The brothers and I all waved off discomfort. 

“Well, the creep factor just skyrocketed.” Dean muttered. 

A sheriff then came into the room protesting with us entering, “Hi.” I said, “how are ya? Agents Michaels, Deville, and Angelou.” We showed him our badges. 

The sheriff’s demeanor changed once he thought we were the feds. “The body's already been to the morgue. Just wrapping it up with Dave Stephens. He's the one who discovered the body. Such a shame. I used to go hunting with Max. He was a real good egg.” 

“Sorry for your loss.” Dean said. 

“Thanks.” 

“You mind showing my partner around? We just got a couple questions for Mr. Stephens.” 

“Okay. Come on.” Sam went along with the sheriff to look around as Dean and I went up to the only man in there who wasn’t in uniform. 

“Dave Stephens?” I said to the man, who looked to be in his fifties with salt and pepper hair. He was waving off grief. 

“Yeah.” 

“We just got a couple questions for you if that's alright.” Dean said to him. 

“I'll tell you whatever you need to know. Max was a...a real pal.” 

“Hunting buddy?” I wanted to give Dean a look, but that was my suspicion as well. 

The man actually gave off a wave of impression as he said, “Mm. Yeah.” 

“Eh, lucky guess. So, uh, about what time did you discover the body?” 

“About 9 a.m.—my usual pickup time. I come in every Wednesday and Sundays, uh, to collect the entrails.” 

“The what?” I asked with raised eyebrows. 

“The animal organs.” 

“Ah. Course.” I said as my stomach churned at the thought. 

“After Max would, uh, dig them out and work his magic.” Dean and I both looked up to Sam behind him, who was in the next room checking out the work table. I fough a smile as he held up a stuffed squirrel that was dressed like Joffrey Baratheon. “He, uh—he was a real artist, you know? Strange thing is, though, uh, bins were empty this morning.” 

“Why is that strange?” Dean asked as we pulled out attention back to Dave. 

“Well, because it's a Sunday. Weekend hunts are pretty much a given in this neck of the woods, so they're usually, mm, chock-full of guts.” 

I raised an eyebrows at that and nodded as Dean thought a moment, then asked, “Any chance Max could have cleaned them out himself?” 

“No. It's a-it's a biohazard. You can't just, you know, throw the stuff out. You got to burn it.” 

The sheriff then came back towards us, I asked him, “Is there, uh, anything else missing from the shop?” 

“No ma’am. The register was full, and the safe was intact. And all of Max's trophies were still on the walls.” 

“And was there anybody else here when you showed up?” I asked turning back to Dave. 

“No one. No, other than, uh…” he looked back towards the other room and we all saw a young man with a German Sheperd getting leashed and prepped to go into a kennel. “The Colonel.” I frowned at that. _Poor dog’s owner gets killed and now he goes to the pound?_

Sam then came back into the room. Dean excused us from Dave and the Sheriff. “So?” He asked us. 

“Okay, so, uh...we got a thief who's jonesing for animal parts, we got a pagan symbol-“

“And we got a human pretzel.” I finished. 

“Yeah, it all sounds very witch-y, but I wasn't able to find a hex bag,” Sam replied. 

“Alright, well, let's keep digging.” Dean said, another wave of discomfort came from him as he looked up at a stuffed owl. “But, uh, not here. I don't like the way that one's looking at me.” 

I chuckled then we left the shop. We found the local motel and checked in. Sam was on his laptop on the bed while Dean and I were unpacking. Eventually Sam said, “Okay, uh, that...symbol in the graffiti, it's...not wiccan. It's copywritten. Local animal-rights group, Enid's answer to PETA.” 

Sam then turned the laptop to show us. It was a website for ‘S.N.A.R.T.:Showing No Animal Rough Treatment.’ I chuckled at that name while Dean said, “S.N.A.R.T.? You got to be kidding me.” 

“Well, it makes sense that an animal-rights group would have an axe to grind with a taxidermist.” 

“Why? The animal’s already dead.” 

“Yeah, but hunters are what keep them in business.” I reasoned. 

“Now the question is, are those bleeding hearts actually witches or just hippies?” Sam asked. 

“What’s the difference?” Dean asked. 

I rolled my eyes and asked, “you said they were local?” 

“Yep. The founders also own a Vegan bakery nearby.” So the three of us piled into the Impala once again and headed for the bakery. 

The place was a little busy in the post lunch rush as we walked in. It looked like a standard bakery but had a much different smell than I had expected. “Always knew I'd find the source of all evil at a vegan bakery.” Dean grumbled. 

I chuckled and asked, “What’s that smell?” 

“Patchouli. Yeah, mixed with depression from meat deprivation.” I rolled my eyes at that as we took it in. Then I noticed the two employees working behind the counter. Both of them were wearing sunglasses indoors. “You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people. And douchebags.” 

The three of us then walked up to the counter. “Olivia and Dylan Camrose?” Sam asked. 

“At your service.” The woman said. 

“You two are members of S.N.A.R.T.?” Dean asked. 

A wave of pride came off her as she said, “Founders and co-presidents, actually. Uh, can we interest you in some literature?” She held up a brochure for it. I just shook my head at that. 

“Or a flaxseed scone? It's wheat-free, gluten-free, sugar-free, and surprisingly moist.” Dylan said from behind her with a smile. 

“Let me stop you right there.” Dean said as we took out our badges. Their smiles immediately dropped. “Uh, we're here to investigate the death of Max Alexander, a local taxidermist.” 

Shock rolled over them, “he’s...dead?” Olivia asked. 

“You knew him?” I asked. 

“Ish. Um...small town.” 

Sam then said, “Well, he was murdered last night, and a S.N.A.R.T. logo was found at the crime scene. You two wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?” 

They exchanged a look to eachother as they both got worried. Grabbing someone to man the counter, they took us to one of their tables and we began asking questions. “His business is funded by hunters, and you know how hunters are. They're selfish dicks who define themselves by what they kill.” Dylan reasoned. 

The three of us exchanged a look, knowing that part seemed to ring true. Then Olivia said, “And as animal advocates, we couldn't stand for that.” 

“So, you killed him?” Sam asked directly. 

“Of course not. S.N.A.R.T. doesn't tolerate violence.” 

“Huh.” Dean said with a wave of surprise. “This coming from a couple who spray-paints death threats.”

Waves of guilt and worry came from them now. Dylan then said quickly, “It was a scare tactic. We just wanted to spook him.” 

“Turns out we were the ones who got spooked.” Olivia said. 

“What does that mean?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. 

The couple then looked at eachother. Dylan nodded, and Olivia explained cautiously, “Well, last night, when we were tagging the joint, we heard this noise.” 

“A hissing noise.” Dylan added. 

“It freaked us out, so we ran out into the alley.” 

“But someone attacked us.” 

“Sprayed us in the eyes with mace.” 

“And it's not like we could go to the cops.” 

“So, now we look like total douchebags...because we have to wear our sunglasses inside.” Olivia said, then they both removed their sunglasses. The skin around their eyes were blotchy and red. I tried to keep a straight face, trying to not show my own discomfort at the sight. Dean then motioned for them to put their sunglasses back on. 

We finished with a few more questions and told them they were off the hook, but to be prepared for a possible follow up. 

The three of us went back to the motel. The graffiti was explained, but now we had no suspects except for the mystery mace-er. So we got changed into regular clothes and Sam began research on his laptop. I was documenting in my journal when he figured out what was actually going on with Olivia and Dylan. 

“Necrosis?” Dean repeated. 

“Premature death of tissues—that's why their eyes were all messed up.” Sam explianed while Dean walked over to the table. He opened up his fresh beer. 

“That shouldn’t be caused by mace.” I said, knowing how pepper spray actually works. 

“It isn’t.” 

“Alright. What caused it?” Dean asked. 

“Right here. ‘Blunt force, radiation, venom.’” 

“As in ‘snake?’” 

I was now seeing where Sam was getting at. “Okay,” I said, “The taxidermist was constricted. Olivia and Dylan heard hissing, and they were sprayed in the eyes-“ 

“By venom.” Dean finished. 

“By venom.” Sam said. 

“Okay, so...What are we talking here, some sort of a freaky-ass snake monster?” He asked as he sat down at the table with Sam and I. 

“Maybe.” Sam said with even more waves of curiosity than usual. “The weird thing is snakes either envenomate or constrict. No snake does both.” 

“Correction—freaky-ass mega-snake monster.” 

Sam and I both laughed at that. “That JLo movie has a whole new light now.” I said dryly. Dean smirked at that. 

“It could be a Vetala.” Sam then guessed. 

“Yeah, but they're not afraid to sink their fangs in. Taxidermist was bite-free.” Dean said, “It doesn't really fit the profile.” 

“Right. So…?” 

“So, call Kevin. Have him look some stuff up.” 

I pulled out my cell and began the call, “Let’s hope that hangover cure worked,” I said to them. 

After speaking with Kevin, who was now in somewhat running condition, he was on research for us while we continued with the internet. That night, while Sam ran out to get us some dinner and more beer, I was working on my laptop while Dean was going through his dad’s journal. 

I was hitting a road block with it. With the information we had, I just wasn’t finding anything on ‘freaky-ass mega snake monster.’ It also didn’t help that my mind kept wandering back to the demon who had Jackson’s body. I kept going back and forth with it, trying to make some sort of sense with it, but it never did. 

In my research, I wandered back to trying to find Reagan. The last known location I had for him was that abandoned town we had last seen him and Abaddon. They had kept themselves underground, probably working for a new plan of world domination, and left me going in circles. I began looking through lore cites on demons, and started to wonder if they could remake a body after it was burned. 

“That doesn’t look snake.” I jumped at the sound of Dean’s voice. I looked up to see him standing behind me. 

“Don’t scare me like that.” 

He gave off a wave of surprise. “I never startle you. What’s going on?” 

I sighed as he sat down infront of me. “I hit a brick wall with whatever killed the Taxidermist, so...I looked for more signs of Reagan.” 

He nodded and took a sip of his beer, the last one mind you, and said, “anything new?” 

“Nope.” 

“So you’re torturing yourself?” 

I chuckled darkly at him, “Look who’s talking.” 

He held a palm up, “I’m just saying...that bastard is going to show up sooner than later. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s not gonna make him any more found.” 

I tried to ignore him and go back to my screen, but he closed it in front of me. “Dean...this is on me.” I told him with a frown. “I watched Jackson die,” I fought tears, “I burned his body. I should of gone after the damn thing after, but I didn’t...cause I fell apart.” I looked away from him. “I took a couple months off of hunting after that. I didn’t go after another _demon_ for a couple years after that. He’s been running around doing who the hell knows what, because of me.” 

“You can’t blame yourself what he did. He’s a demon. Those black eyed sons of bitches make their own damn choices, you can’t control that. No one can.” 

“Yeah I know...I tell you two that all the time when something happens. But...I basically let him go. And now...now he’s running around wearing Jackson. Working with a freakin’ Knight of Hell who we don’t even know _how_ to kill. It’s on me. No matter how you cut it.” 

There was a moment of silence in the room as Dean thought of what to say. “The way I see it...you’ll get your chance to make this right. But looking for something that knows how to hide as well as he does is not going to make it come any faster. I should know...took us over twenty years to find the demon that killed our mom. It’s beating a dead horse, and I know you're smart enough to know that. All we can do now is deal with what’s right in front of us. And move forward.” 

I took a breath and leaned back. His words rang true as much as mine. I nodded, showing that I understood, but I still felt the urge to keep looking at the same data on Reagan as I had been. _Maybe a break wouldn’t be so bad?_ I thought. “Okay.” I said. 

“Okay.” He replied then finished his beer. Sam then came back with dinner, and another six pack, not long after that. 

…

The next morning, we woke up to the police scanner. A body was found at the animal shelter and it looked like a strange animal attack. Strange was the word that got us going. The three of us got back into our Fed suits and sped towards the shelter. 

The coroner was moving the body when we got there and stopped him to take a look. “Claw marks?” Dean asked after a quick examination. 

We started walking down the middle of the building past all of the kennels. “Yeah. The cops said all the cats went missing.” Sam told us. 

I watched the dogs, who were all waving off excitment for the most part as seeing all of us humans. “Right, so, yesterday, uh, we're dealing with some sort of a snake monster. Today, it's a killer kitty.” 

“I don’t know, maybe.” I replied. Then paused as we past a familiar German Shepherd. 

“Hey.” Dean said as he saw him. “Why does that mutt look familiar?” 

Sam went up to the kennel and took a look at his paperwork. “That was the taxidermist's dog.” 

I crouched down at the kennel and took a look at him. He was waving off anxiety and grief as he came up. “So, he's been at _both_ crime scenes?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“Maybe he's a suspect. You know may–“ an officer walked past and Dean paused. I stood up as he continued, “Could be a skinwalker, maybe a shapeshifter.” 

I gave him a look, “Doesn’t really look like a monster to me.” I told him. “ _And_ he’s waving of grief.” 

“Wait, you can sense what animal’s are feeling?” Sam asked with a wave of excitment. 

I smiled. “Yeah. Animals actually pretty emotional. Not as complex as humans but, it’s there. Plus, dogs and cats, and other domesticated animals are pretty empathic on their own. So Dean, no I don’t think he’s culprit.” 

Dean then held up a silver coin. “One way to find out.” He crouched down and said, “Come here, boy. Hey. This isn't gonna hurt at all. Unless it hurts.” He reached through the chain link kennel and rubbed it behind the dog’s ears, and nothing happened. “Hmm.” 

“I guess we can, uh, rule out killer.” Sam quipped. I smirked knowing the dog wouldn’t do it either way. 

Then I sensed the sheriff walked up behind us, as he did, the dog began waving off anger and barking at the man. “Do you agents need any further assistance?” He asked, ignoring the dog and taking his hat off. Once it was down The Colonel stopped barking. 

“Officer, I think we’re okay. Thanks.” Sam said as I stared at the dog, Dean was catching on too. 

“Alright, well, let me know.” The sheriff then replaced his hat on his head and the dog began barking at him again. 

Dean then asked, “Officer. Excuse me. Uh, can I borrow your hat?” 

The sheriff gave it to him without a problem, and we all watched as the dog stopped barking, only to start again when Dean put the hat on himself. He the promptly stopped when Dean took it off again. 

When Dean gave the sheriff his hat back, the officer said to the dog, “Good luck getting adopted.” 

I glared at him as he walked off. I then said to the boys, “Okay, so, The Colonel’s not a suspect.” 

“Yeah, but he's a witness.” Dean said, then looked down at the dog, “Hey, boy. You speak sign language?” 

“That’s monkeys.” Sam corrected. 

“Huh?” 

Sam ignored him. “You know what? This is gonna sound crazy.” He took out his phone. “I read this book once about this guy who tried to teach his dog to speak after it witnessed a murder.” 

“It worked?” I asked. 

“No.” 

“But he wrote a book about it?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, well, he doesn't have what we have.” Then he got on the phone. “Kevin. Hey, it's me. How do we speak to a dog?” 

After he got off the phone, he told us that a Kevin would look into it. In the mean time, Dean decided that we needed to keep our witness. So we adopted him. The excitment that ran off Sam and I as we got him out of there and straight to the Impala was clear on our faces. 

“‘Good luck getting adopted’ my ass. You’re free boy!” I said as he climbed into the back seat. 

“This is temporary.” Dean said as he climbed into the back seat. “Don’t get attached. Once we’re done with the case we’re finding him a new home.” 

I huffed a little and put down the window. The dog was waving off excitment as well. We drove back to the motel and snuck him into our room, well after we stopped at a local store for some dog food. Once we got back, Kevin messaged us with ingredients for a spell to speak with the dog. So Sam ran out and got them. 

Once he was back, he started to explain it to us. I was sitting on the floor with The Colonel’s head in my lap while the brohter’s sat at the table. “You want a chair?” Dean asked, looking down at me.

“No, I’m good.” I said with a smile. I was enjoying having the animal companion, who also loved having me scratch him behind the ears. 

Dean shook his head then said, “An Inuit spell.” 

“Yeah. Who knew the, uh, Men of Letters had its own Eskimo section?” Sam said while prepping the ingridents. 

“And it's supposed to let us communicate with The Colonel?” 

“Yeah, well…” Sam reached over and plucked a few hairs from the dog. “That’s the plan.” He then put the hair in the bowl and stirred. “Kevin said it's like a sort of a human/animal mind meld.” 

“Meaning?” I asked. 

“If it works, we should be able to read The Colonel's thoughts.” He said as he poured the contents into a glass. 

“Alright, I’ll do it.” Dean said then took the glass. “You got enough on your plate.” 

“Like what?” Sam asked. I was wondering what was up too. 

“Uh, like...you're tired. You're on the mend. Okay? Plus, you-you've got a sensitive stomach. Last thing we need is you chucking this stuff up. Huh?” 

Sam and I both scoffed. “Whatever. Just do it already.” I told him. 

Dean then looked down at the glass. “Doesn’t look so bad.” He then drank it down in one gulp. I sensed the waves of disgust before he said, “I was wrong. Come on.” He said as he guestured to Sam, asking for the book, as he started coughing. 

He cleared his throat and said the chant. After a moment of nothing, he looked down at the Colonel and me. The dog was now sitting up and looked at him, suddenly excited for the attention. “Alright. Let's get this party started. Tell me everything you know.” 

The dog just yawned with a small wave of bordom, “What the matter? Cat got your tongue?” Dean laughed at his own joke while Sam, The Colonel, and I just looked at him. I shook my head slightly and the dog didn’t even find the joke that amusing. “Tough crowd.” 

After a bark from the dog, we both looked to Dean. He just shook his head no. I huffed. “Guess it takes some time to take effect?” 

“Maybe.” Sam said. 

Dean then stood. “Who’s hungry?” He then got up and went to fetch some burgers for all of us. 

After he left I got up and went to fix some kibble for the Colonel. “You hungry boy?” I asked him as he got up and followed me the short steps to the kitchenette counter. 

I was fixing him a bowl when Sam said, “I didn’t know you were a dog person.”

“Anybody who isn’t is weird in my opinion.” I said as I placed the bowl on the ground and the dog began to eat. “Had one as a kid.” I smiled at the memory. “Shepard Mix actually. His name was Shep.” 

“Creative.” We both chuckled. “Good dog?” 

“Yeah, don’t tell Dean...but he was my best friend through grade school.” Sam furrowed his eyebrows at me when I sat down. “Remember, I was a weird kid. Had a hard time making friends.” 

“I get the feeling.” 

We both looked down at the dog. “Wish we could keep him.” I said with a small voice. 

“Me too, but...hunting’s no place for a dog.” 

“No it is not. And it’s too bad...he’s a pretty good dog too.” I agree sadly. 

Later, Dean came back with some burgers and the three of us sat at the table. The radio was playing a Foreigner's song and the dog was on the floor, staring up at us for some food as well. As we were finishing up eating, Dean said, “So, call Kevin. Spell tasted like ass and was a bust.” 

“At least it didn't affect your appetite. Geez.” Sam said and I chuckled. 

“Yeah.” Dean said and we carried on eating. I was about to ask Sam to change the station when I sensed the dog wave off annoyance. I smiled knowing he probably wasn’t into it like I was. Then Dean asked, “What?” 

“What?” Sam and I asked at the same time. 

“You—shut up. It's working!” 

Sam then said with wide eyes, “It—go!” 

Dean looked directly at the dog, “Say that again.” After a moment, Dean responded with whatever the hell he was saying. “Dennis DeYoung's not a punk. He's Mr. Roboto, bitch.” 

“Why are you arguing with the dog—about Styx?” I asked. 

Dean looked between the dog and I a moment and said, “Wh–uh, yeah. Um, hey, boy. What were you trying to tell us about Cowboy Hat?” The dog waved of anger and a bit of grief. “And the pothead, too?” 

“Ask about the cats.” Sam told him as he rolled up an empty food wrapper and threw it into a garbage can. 

“Yeah, uh-“ Dean then grabbed the ball and put it on the table in front of us. “And what about the cats?” 

Sam grabbed the wrapper and said, “I don’t want this.” 

Dean continued to listen to the dog as another wave of anger and annoyance came from the Colonel. “Huh.” 

“So, what’s he saying?” I asked as Sam threw the wrapper again, missing the can. 

“Uh, that the-the guy,” Dean said as he retrieved the wrapper from the floor and tossed it onto the table without thinking, “he smelled like ground chuck and soap suds and old-lady cream.” 

Sam and I looked at each other with a bewildered look. Sam picked it up and held it for his brother, “Dean, what are you doing?” 

Dean then began scratching behind his ear. “I don’t know.” A wave of amusement came from the dog as I pressed my hand to my mouth, trying very hard not to show my smile and to keep my laughing down. Dean then asked the dog, “Oh, what are you laughing at?” 

The rumble of a car pulling up outside caused the Colonel to start barking. I expected that, but then Dean excitedly got up and looked out the window, pushing the curtains away to reveal none other than a mailman. He started saying, “Hey! Hey, hey! Yeah!” He pointed at the man. “You! You!” 

As he kept that up, along with the dog barking, Sam and I exchanged a look, as well as waves of shock, “Uh, Dean?” I said once he started growling. 

“Hmm?” 

“I think the spell worked.” Sam said, “Fact, I think it worked a little too well.”

Dean sat down again. “What?” He asked. 

“I think…” he laughed a little, “you might be a dog.” 

Dean began scratching behind his ear again. “What?” 

“You're scratching your head. You're...barking at the mailman. You're playing fetch.” I punctuated the list by throwing the paper wrapper into the trash can again. 

“I-” he started as he looked at it. He made a movement to fetch it again, but restrained himself. He then whimpered and said, “Ruh-roh.” 

Sam got up from the table and began pacing as he called Kevin. It took a couple tries, but he got connected with him. I had Dean and the Colonel sit away from the window. I had to fight a burst of laughter after they both promptly sat at the order. 

“Yeah. No, that—okay.” Sam said on the phone, now leaning against the small table that held the phone in the room on the opposite wall of the window. “Alright. Thanks.” He hung up. 

“So?” I asked. 

“So, apparently, the Inuit spell has some side effects.” 

Dean waved off frustration now. “Oh, well, that would have been nice to know _before_ I downed it! What kind of side effects?”

“When you mind meld with an animal, it's...possible to start exhibiting some of its behavior.” Sam said while Dean kept looking down at the dog, who was still waving off amusement. 

I sat down next to the Colonel on the floor and began rubbing his back in thought. “Well, how long am I gonna have the urge to…” Dean asked and waited a moment for the dog to answer. “Oh, whoa. Hey. I don't have the urge to sniff butts.” 

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “Do you really have the-“ 

Dean stopped me before I could finish the question. “No! Come on!” 

Sam then tried to calm him down, “Well, Kevin doesn't know how long it'll last. It's not like it's an exact science, you know? But hopefully, when the spell wears off, so will the side effects” 

Dean then took out a chocolate bar and took a bite out of it. Then a wave of horror came from him and he dropped it, apparently from advice from the dog. 

I chuckled a bit then started scratching the dog gently in between his shoulder blades. He liked that, but then he laid down and rolled over. “Aww, you want your belly rubbed?” I asked him sweetly. Obliging the dog as he waved off contemptment. Then I looked up at Dean, who had a bit of hope roll off him and had some sad eyes. “Don’t even think about it. You want a belly rub? Ask your brother.” I told him cheekily. 

Dean then looked up at Sam who changed the subject quickly, “Okay, so now we have a gear in what’s going on, let’s go talk with some witnesses.” 

Sam grabbed the keys and we headed out. Dean threw the leash on the Colonel and we walked outside to the Impala. The dog then waved off some curiosity as Dean said, “Back to the shelter.” After a moment of amusement, he said, “Alright, one more doggy pun out of you, and I'm gonna have your nuts clipped.” 

I chuckled with Sam as I went to my side of the car, just in time to see a bird crap on the windshield. Dean waved off anger as he looked up. “Aw, are you kidding me?” There was a pigeon sitting atop the light pole the car was parked under. “Hey, dick move, pigeon!” 

After a wave of shock, Dean pressed a hand to Sam’s arm. “Did-“ 

“What?” 

“Wait a minute. Can I hear all animals?” He looked down to the colonel who seemed to answer him. From what I took, Dean was now in a screaming match with the pigeon. 

“What’s he saying?” I asked. 

“You—he's being a douchebag!” After a moment for the bird to respond, Dean shouted, “Oh, shut it, you winged rat!” 

Sam and I both got embarrassed as there were a few civilians in the parking lot watching. “Dude.” Sam said. 

“What?” 

“Hey.” He said as we both smiled at a couple of people who were staring, trying to look as normal as possible. “Just calm down. Just get in the car.” 

Apparently, the bird had one more thing to say as Dean decided to take out his gun and point it at the damned thing. “Oh, that's it, you son of a bitch!” 

I pulled down his arm quickly, “Dean!” I dragged him by the arm to the other side, “Get in the car.” I said through gritted teeth. Sam then smiled and waved at a couple of onlookers, trying to seem normal before he got in the driver’s seat. 

I sat in the back with the dog while Dean sat in the passenger seat. As soon as we took off, Dean put down his window, as well as the Colonel’s behind him, to stick their heads out in the wind. The contemptment from both of them put a wide grin on my face. Sam smiled too when I discreetly took out my phone and got a few pictures. 

We got to the shelter without much incident and parked out front. The three of us got out, but before Dean moved to get the dog, Sam said, “I think it's probably best to just leave The Colonel in the car.” 

Before I could protest myself, Dean waved off some anger. “Excuse me.” 

“Well, all the windows are open.” 

“You think we like that?” 

“We?” I asked with a quirked eyebrow. 

“You think because the windows are open that that's some sort of a treat, huh? No, the dog's coming in.” Dean said firmly. The Colonel waved off some pride and Dean took him out. 

As we got to the doors, Sam opened them for Dean and I, but we noticed that he stopped. Both Dean and the dog took pause to take a look at the white poodle who was leashed to the bike rack not far from us. The two of us exchanged a confused look. Sam called Dean and he seemed to snap out of it. 

We walked in without much of another word and got straight to the kennels. Sam and I stood at the end, with me holding on to the Colonel’s leash while we watched Dean go from kennel to kennel, speaking with the different dogs. As he worked, I thought out loud, “Can’t believe it. We’re interrogating dogs for case.” 

Sam chuckled as he put an arm around my shoulders, “yeah. Gotta say, it’s a new one.” 

“You would think all the years between the three of us of hunting, Nothing would surprise us anymore...and then we get thrown _this_.” 

Dean then came back to us, rolling off frustration. “Any luck?” Sam asked. 

He sighed. “Hardly. And I'm not getting any clues—just a bunch of complaints.” Before we could leave, Dean’s attention got captured by a little Yorkie next to us. “Yeah, uh, sorry, pal. I'm done for the day.” After a moment, the little dog seemed to say something worth it. “What? Are you kidding me? I'm being extorted by a dog.” I chuckled at that. “Well, what do you want, huh? What? Beggin' strips? Snausages?” 

After a moment, the dog waved off excitement and determination, clearly setting his price. “You—alright.” Dean then took the dog out and said, “Wants a belly rub.” 

“Okay.” I said as I held my arms out. 

“Nope.” He said with a smile and directly to Sam, “she wants you.” 

We both raised our eyebrows at that, but Sam obliged. He held the dog like a baby and started rubbing the dog’s belly. I smiled as it made him only look bigger by comparison with the little dog. 

After a few more questions answered, Dean asked, “Okay, what else can you tell me about the guy other than his outfit?” After an answer, he asked, “What does he want with the cats?” After a wave of disgust, he said, “Ew.” 

“What?” I asked. 

“Apparently, our guy has a sweet tooth for kitty cats.” 

“Huh.” Sam said. After another few moments, Sam stopped rubbing on the dog and shook out his hand, a little bit of pain coming from him. 

“Okay, what did it say?” Dean asked, but the dog just whined. “Hey, come in. We had a deal.” After a not so happy response, Dean said, “Sam.” 

“Hand cramps.” Sam said in his defense. 

“She’s not talking.” We both scoffed and Sam continued. Eventually, Dean got the right answer. “Well, no wonder he smelled like hamburgers and dish soap. We got to go downtown. Apparently our guy works at a restaurant.” 

Dean then let Sam out the Yorkie back in the kennel and took the leash from me. As we moved to leave, Dean said, “Hey, hold up.” 

“What’s the matter?” I asked. 

Dean handed me the leash again and started opening up kennel after kennel. Waves of excitement came off the dogs as they ran free. Sam and I both smiled. As the dogs ran out, I said, “Wow. Prison break. Going soft on dogs now?” Dean just smiled and grabbed the leash again. The Colonel was impressed as well. 

…

We found the restaurant the Yorkie was talking about. Unfortunately this time, we kept the Colonel in the back of the Impala with the windows open, figuring it would be best if he wasn’t with us on a monster hunt. Plus the restaurant didn’t allow pets. Well at least when it was open. 

As we broke into the dark, empty restaurant, Dean said, “Honestly, who can afford to be closed on Monday these days?” 

“A homicidal maniac?” Sam said as we looked around the kitchen with flashlights. 

“Yeah.” 

We walked into a storage room, as Sam said, “Hey.” He shined a light on a picture frame with a man in a cowboy hat sharpening a knife. “Check this out. Chef Leo. Think he's our guy?” 

“It's Okie town. Lots of dudes wear cowboy hats.” Dean reasoned as we snooped around. I went to a drawer and found it filled with bottles of pills. 

“Woah.” I said. Sam then came over to take a look over my shoulder. “Oxycodone, tramadol, methadone.” 

“Hmm. Guess he likes to cook comfortably numb.” Dean quipped. 

“Yeah, apparently.” Sam said as I looked around some more. 

“Did you hear that?” A wave of panic came from Dean “Sounded like little kids.” 

He looked around, then I found something on a table in the room. It was square and under a canvas. “What’s that?” I asked as I shone a light on it. Dean then lifted the cover to reveal a bunch of mice in a cage. 

“Eat you?” He asked. They must have been the small voices. They pointed Dean towards the fridge behind him as I looked around the table. Dean then gave off waves of disgust and shock as he looked through the glass door, “Hey.” He then started to look through it. “Owl brains. Cheetah liver. Grizzly heart.” 

“I found a spell book.” Sam said holding it up, “Shamanism.” 

“Well, what's a chef doing dabbling with witchcraft?” I asked. 

“It says here whatever animal organ you ingest with the right mix of hoodoo and spices, you temporarily gain the power of that animal. So, okay, if you're munching on owl brains…” 

“Your head spins around like _The Exorcist_?” Dean asked, a little amused. 

“Close. Bolsters your IQ.” Sam corrected. “Okay, eat a cheetah liver for speed, bear heart for strength.” 

“Okay, so if he's chowing down on this stuff –“ 

I said, “Then it would make sense why he constricted the taxidermist and clawed the guy at the shelter.” 

Dean then bent down to the mice cage. “Well, no offense, but why would he want to eat you guys?” 

I thought about it a moment then said, “Collapsible spines?” 

“Hmm.” Dean responded. 

“Look at this.” Sam said, gathering our attention. He was now looking at some handwritten recipe cards. “Lion liver plus eagle heart. Rattlesnake fangs plus anaconda bladder. Baboon brains plus black widow abdomen. He's mixing ingredients.” 

“What the hell for?” Dean asked. Before anyone of us could guess the answer, we heard a noise from another room. Ready for anything, we stalked the room with guns drawn. As we walked in, we lowered them as soon as we realized there were only civilians. In particular, there were a couple of chefs. 

“Who the hell are you?” One of them asked once he saw us. 

“We're from the health department. Stopped by for an inspection.” I said quickly and firmly. 

“I wasn't aware we had one scheduled.” He said with crossed arms.

Dean then stepped in, “Yeah, no, you wouldn't be. That's the point. Besides, I thought you were closed.” 

“We are. Chef's having a private dinner.” A waiter then came in carrying a platter. “In fact, he'll be here any minute.” 

“Oh. Well, then. In that case, kitchen's shut down.” 

A wave of shock and panic came from the young chef, “Shut down? Why?” 

“Because, uh, y-you're both in clear violation of penal code 8.114.” Sam lied. 

“Out.” Dean ordered. “Come on. Get out. Both of you. We'll let you know.” They both left without a word. I sighed in relief. “Alright. I'll take the front. You two take the back.” 

“Do we even know how to kill this guy?” Sam asked, suddenly waving off panic. 

Dean looked down at his gun, “Well, empty one of these in his head. See what that does.” I scoffed a little at that. 

He then walked towards the dining area. Even before we turned, there was a clang from the previous room. Sam and I started walking towards it, investigating the noise guns drawn.

As we walked down the corridor, I started sensing someone nearby, but I couldn’t see them. It puzzled me a moment as Sam walked a few steps ahead. Then a man, Leo from the pictures, materialized in front of me. “Sam!” I called out and he spun around. 

I raised my gun at the man but his hands were on me too quickly. He threw the gun to the ground and used his super strength to throw me to the wall face first. I slumped to the ground, my vision blurry as I watched Leo claw Sam in his neck. “No.” I said as I felt myself wave in and out of consciousness. 

Sam reeled back, holding his throat. “Chameleons aren't that bad.” The man said with an Australian accent. “Kind of taste like chicken.” 

Then I felt it. That strange energy from before. The strength and gentleness came and flooded the room a moment as Sam’s body stiffened. I fought my body to move as I sensed it again but it went away. Sam turned back to the man with waves of confusion and fear. His neck was cut free. The last thing I heard was, “How the hell did you do that?” Before everything went black. 

The next thing I knew, I sensed Dean walk into the room and I heard a gunshot. I looked up in time to see Dean fighting off Leo, but only to see him take a cord and wrap it around Dean’s neck. The older brother was then tied to the nearby pillar. He made eye contact with me as his hands were tied behind him. A silent nod came from him as I pretended to be unconscious. 

I wasn’t much help though, my hands were tied as I laid on my side next to Sam, who was definitely out cold, on the tiled floor. Plus there was still a pounding in my head from getting hit. “What did you do to my brother?” Dean gritted out, anger and protectiveness waving off him. 

“Your brother? What was your mum smoking when she had you two?” Leo asked as he stepped away from Dean. “He's fine. So’s the girl. She’s something else too isn’t she?” I kept my eyes closed and my face as cold as possible as I felt his eyes on us. “They’re just taking a little cat nap before dinner. I've never had human heart before. Heard it's a bit chewy. Good job I'm not a fussy eater.” He said with a wave of excitment. 

I opened my eyes a little as I sensed him return to his work station. I could hear him sharpening his knife. “You’re sick.” Dean said. 

“Been told that once or twice.” 

“No, no. Not in the head. I, uh—well, you are that, too, but I mean sick like cancer.” I was as surprised as Dean was to hear that. 

A wave of sadness came from the man, “Well, I guess dogs really can sniff it out. Stage IV carcinoma.” I would have pitied him if he wasn’t about to become a cannibal, with Sam and I being his first meal. 

“Huh. So that's why you're doing this. What happened? Draw the short straw, decided to break bad?” Dean asked as I sensed a wave of realization come from him. He must have found a way to escape his bonds. 

“See, when I was diagnosed, I was way past standard treatment. No one could save me.” A wave of pride then came from him. “But then with the help of a Pawnee shaman and a zoo membership, I found a cure, albeit a temporary one. Cancer always came back.” 

“You start experimenting with different organs, huh? Traded in the single serving for a combo platter.” I knew exactly what Dean was doing. Buying us some time. I began working to try and slip out of the ropes around my wrists. Though I still would bet I could get up and run, since he tied them in front of me. 

“Well, what can I say? Combination therapy works. I felt stronger, and the effects lasted longer.” 

“And if you smoke a few innocent people in the process, well, hell, at least you felt better.” 

“Well, I didn't mean to kill anyone—at first. But if people got in my way, they became collateral damage. Guess you eat enough predators, you start to become one. You are what you eat, right?” His laugh made my stomach churn. 

“Do you really think the power you hold over other people's lives can make up for what you lack in your own?” 

That seemed to hit a cord. “So, dog boy, what do I need to eat to take you down, huh?” He went over to an ice chest. I stayed frozen as he moved, his gaze now could see me. 

“You don’t want to do this.” 

“Oh, but I do want to do this.” He paused as he pulled out a container. “See, I'm gonna kill you, work up a nice appetite,” another container was out, “and then I'm gonna eat your brother. I mean, I don't know what the hell he is, but with healing powers like that, who cares? He could cure me. Maybe have the girl for dessert, added bonus of the power off her.” Then I sensed a wave of pride as he found what he wanted to use. He held up a container towards Dean, labeled ‘Wolf Heart.’ “Dog on _sort_ -of dog.” 

Leo then took it to his station and began the ritual, completing it by taking a bite of the heart. My eyes grew wide as Dean broke free and grabbed the machete stuck to the pillar above him, which I didn’t realize was there until then. He slashed at Leo as I moved to Sam, trying to wake him up. 

I looked up when I heard the clatter of the machete, and with the sound Dean was sent backwards. I heard Leo snarl and Dean took off running in the other direction. Leo didn’t even notice that I was awake as he bolted after him. 

“Sam. Come on.” I took it as my chance to try to wake up Sam, but he was still out cold. I knew he was alive thankfully, but we needed him conscious. I then searched his pockets and found a switch blade that I knew he kept. I cut myself free and discarded it the bonds. “Sam? Samuel, please.” 

I then looked at his neck. Leo was right, it was healed. But how? Dean then came in, worry wafting off him strongly. I looked up at him as he rushed over to the other side of Sam and palmed his face. “Hey. For the love of God, Sammy. Hey, Sammy.” He called to him. He then muttered something under his breath. “Zeke. Whoever the hell you are.” Before I could ask, Dean said in a louder voice, “Hey. Come on. Don't make me lick your damn face. Hey.” 

Once Sam drew in a large breath and woke up, I sighed in relief. “Hey. Hey. You’re okay.” I said as Dean bowed his head over his brother’s chest in relief. We then helped him to sit up. 

“Come on.” Dean said. Once we got Sam standing, I sighed in relief again. Hugging his side, we walked out of the godforsaken place. Confusion and relief came off the both of us as we went straight to the car. Dean told us Leo was dead and it was all over. 

The Colonel was in the back with me as Dean decided that the job was done, and we needed to take this guy to his new home. Apparently we had already found the perfect candidates. The S.N.A.R.T couple of all people, but I approved. 

Dean pulled us up in front of the bakery, where he was going to meet them. Sam scratched the dog behind the ears in a quiet goodbye, while I crouched in front of him. “Enjoy civilian life boy.” I said. 

“He says he’s going to miss you.” Dean told me. 

I smiled. “Really?”

“Yep.” 

I looked back at him. “Gonna miss you too.” He punctuated with a quick playful lick on my cheek and I laughed. “Bye.” I said sweetly and stood upright. 

I went over to Sam as we watched Dean take him inside. “You okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah, just...a little bummed, but I’ll be alright.” I turned to him, eyeing his freshly cleaned neck. “How are you doing?” 

“I'm good. Just really confused.” 

“Me too. That guy was...off his rocker let me tell you that, but...he said something...weird.” 

“Yeah...asking what I was.” 

“No it was something else. While you were out. Honestly I’m trying to wrap my head around it.” I reached up and moved the hair out of his face. “You had us worried there for a minute. You were out cold for a good while.” 

He nodded. “I’m okay now. You gave me a once over.” He said with a smirk. I smiled back. Before another word could be said, Dean emerged from the bakery. “How did it go?” 

“Well, bad news is I'm gonna miss the flea bag. Good news is it looks like the spell is finally wearing off. You okay? The Stetson man got you two pretty good.” 

I rolled my eyes. “I’m good.” I said. 

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Sam said with another wave of confusion. “I-I just, uh...I can't stop thinking about what he said.” 

As Dean moved towards the driver’s seat saying, “Oh, come on, Sammy. Guy was out of his freaking gourd.” 

“Yeah, but, I mean, why-why would he ask that? Why-why did he want to know what I was?” 

“It would be one thing if he asked me, but it was Sam.” I reasoned. 

“Who the hell knows. He was all jacked up on juice, you know? He was possessed by-by something he couldn't control. It was…” there was a long pause between the three of us as he thought about it. “It was a-a matter of time before it completely took over.” A wave of realization came from him. “You can't reason with crazy, right?” 

“I don’t know.” Sam was still not satisfied with the answers. Hell, I was wondering how the hell he got healed up. But I knew that they would question it since I was hit on the head right before that craziness happened. 

“Well, I do. Trust me, Sam. You got nothing to worry about.” It was a vague truth. _It’s official, I’m suspicious._ I said to myself as we all climbed in for the ride home. Sam and I were both having our wheels turn at the night’s events, but we remained quiet. We were all tired. 

…

We got home late that night. Sam was falling asleep in the car, so he headed straight for bed, but I lingered. I then said, “Hey Dean? Can we talk?” 

He nodded and went into the library with me. He poured himself a glass of whiskey from our fancy cabinet and offered me some silently. I waved him off as I sat down. “What do you want to talk about?” He asked. 

“Well, the weather’s been great. Caseload is, well the caseload. I’ll get straight to it.” I said dryly as he sat down. “What’s going on? You’ve been dancing around something since Sam woke up from that coma you refuse to tell him about. And it’s more than just that _one_ day. I’ve been catching you in weird moments and vague truths.” A small wave of panic came from him as he took a sip of his drink. “I know this has something to do with Sam. And I want to know. I have _the right_ to know. He’s the man I love. And you’re a brother to me...we’re a family here, no matter how small it is. I want you to tell me.” 

He looked at me and thought for a few moments. “You’re right.” I raised my eyebrows at that. “I’ve not been talking about something. And yeah, it’s been going on since the hospital.” 

“Are you going to tell me what it is?” 

A wave of protectiveness came from him. “It’s a need to know-“ 

“What the hell does that mean? ‘Need to know?’” That got me pissed. “It’s about Sam. And I would think that I’ve been around long enough to be-“ 

“Would you shut up a minute.” He said. I closed my mouth and looked at him expectantly. “I’ve got it handled. It’s not a big deal.” 

“Liar. Not a big deal? What the hell is it?” 

He downed the rest of his drink. “Yeah it’s a big deal. But...you don’t need to know yet. Hell I don’t _want_ you to know cause I’m going to take care of it. Plus...if Sam finds out...he’s not going to forgive me. I don’t want that on you too.” 

My jaw went slack for a moment while I absorbed his words. I knew he was dead set on not telling me, and now I knew he wanted to spare me from any blame if something were to go wrong. It still irked me that he wouldn’t tell me what the hell was going on with Sam, that Sam didn’t even know about it. But I wasn’t going to get any answers that night. “If...this becomes life or death, that’s when you tell me. Got it?” I fought the tears that welled up in my eyes. “I already lost a man I loved. I won’t survive going through it again. I know I won’t, cause...Sam’s _it_ for me. You guys are it for me. My family...make sure whatever the hell is going on, that we all get through it in one piece. Okay?” 

“I promise.” He said simply. We both shared a sigh and a quiet moment. Then I got up and said a simple goodnight. He just poured himself another whiskey. If I was in the mood, I would have teased him for it, but I wasn’t. I was now even more worried than I had been. I had more questions than answers. And that just put me on the edge more. 

I walked over to Sam’s room, where I sensed he was, and getting into bed. “Hey.” He mumbled quietly, getting comfortable. 

“Hey.” I said as I changed. I threw on one of his t-shirts and crawled into bed with him. I curled up in his chest and he turned the lamp off. As we both relaxed, I listened to his steady heartbeat. Knowing that I could hear his very lifeline soothed me. Sam was safe and in my arms. I could let go of the worries for that time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Heaven Can’t Wait. See y’all soon!


	6. Heaven Can’t Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is struggling with translating the tablet, but he may have found a way to read it. Only it involves the freaking king of hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this note just days after the airing of 15x19. God I have so many feelings! I’m so glad the show seems to be wrapping up, but I’m left wondering what the hell they are gonna do for the finale. Fingers crossed it’s going to be the happy ending I never expected. Love you all and hope you get through this next week as we wait for the...final episode. I’ll have tissues and alcohol at the ready.  
> Anyways! This episode, since it doesn’t really feature Cas and Dean, is kind of a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy the stakes getting set and Kevin.—indigo.

_“Jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down.”_ —Ray Bradbury 

  
  


I had been keeping a steady eye on both of my boys. One for any lies to catch and the other to make sure nothing was coming to harm him. Nothing new came from the days after my talk with Dean, but I was still quietly worried. During the day that was all I could think about, but at night. I was still having weird dreams. Dreams of a man I didn’t know, who wouldn’t even tell me his name. 

I would be sitting in nature, wearing a pretty dress and doing something mundane, and then he would come. All he did was keep me company and I would ask him the same questions. “Who are you?” “How do I know you?” “Why won’t you tell me?” I would get little clues about him from our brief conversations, but I would never get a name. 

And in the morning, I was left wondering why the hell am I dreaming about someone I didn’t even know. Still, the world kept on turning and I had a job to do. So I kept my worries with my boys and worked to find a new case. 

Then our prophet made some progress. Kevin called the three of us into the library to show us his big news. Well sort of. He handed us a stack of papers, all of them with many symbols and numbers. He explained to us what he did waving off a little excitement but a lot of frustration. And the three of us were a little confused. 

“That’s your ‘big...news,’ is that that you translated the tablet into... _doodles?_ ” Dean asked. 

“It’s cuneiform.” Kevin replied. After a confused look from the three of us, he had a wave of annoyance and said, “I-I hit a wall translating the tablet into English. But I found an ancient codex, uh, linking the Angel script to proto-Elamite cuneiform, and I was able to translate the tablet and the footnotes into Elamite, which…is…”

“Doodles.” Dean quipped 

“It’s extinct.” 

“Well, can you read it?” I asked with some hope. 

“No one can. Scholars have tried for centuries.” A wave of frustration now came into the room from all four of us. 

“So it’s a dead end?” Dean asked, then threw his stack down. Sam put his pile next to it but I kept looking through mine. 

Kevin continued, “N-not quite. Now, most proto-Elamite is _abstract_ , but I was able to decipher one phrase from Metatron's footnotes. ‘Falling angels.’”

“Okay, so, the footnotes refer to Metatron's spell?” Sam asked with a wave of hope. 

“Maybe.” 

“Okay,” he said as he walked over to a bookshelf, “Well, maybe if we can decipher the footnotes, then we can reverse the spell and…” he grabbed a few books. 

“Punt those winged dicks back to heaven.” Dean finished with a rap to the table. “Where do we start?” 

I smiled. “Research,” I said a little smuggly, knowing Dean wasn’t a fan of it. Sam then set down the book in front of each of us. I sat down with the notes and grabbed a book. 

“We comb through the library, see if we can find anything else on Elamite.” Sam told him. 

Dean then picked up the book in front of him and read out loud, “ _Zimmerman's Encyclopedia of Extinct Languages...Volume One: Adai to Atakapa._ How many volumes are there?” 

“Twenty Four.” Kevin replied nonchalantly. Dean then seemed to short circuit a bit as he waved off a little disdain and overwhelming-ness. 

I smirked and said, “Don’t worry, we’ve found them all.” 

“Awesome,” Dean said with pleading in his eyes as he looked at Sam. Then his cell phone rang. “There is a god.” I rolled my eyes as I turned back to the book in front of me and began looking through it. “Hello?” 

After a few moments, Dean walked away as he listened, worry and anxiety washed over him. “Oh, well, hello to you too, Cas. How are you?” I looked up at that. I hadn’t spoken to Cas since he left abruptly a few weeks before. “Alright. So, how do you want to do this? You want to meet up at the latest scene? You want me to pick you up? What?” 

I leaned back and exchanged an exasperated look at the thought of Dean getting out of this. A wave of confusion came from Dean as he said, “Hey, you sure everything's-“ after a beat he said, “Okay...” 

“What’s going on with Cas?” I asked, putting the book back on the table. 

Dean then started to leave the room. “He thinks he caught wind of a case.” 

Sam and I exchanged a quick look and got up to follow him. We found Dean in his room packing a bag. “Dean, what case?” 

“Said something about a few people going missing in Idaho. I’m gonna check it out.” 

After a moment of waiting for him to say something else to us, Sam said, “And?” 

“And you two are gonna stay with Kev and figure out the translation.” He punctuated with a wave of determination and picked up his bag to leave the room. 

As we followed him, I said, “What about Cas? Is he okay?” 

“He’s fine.” We entered the War room. 

“So, he said nothing about where he is or-or what he's been doing?” Sam asked.

Dean turned to us. “This is Cas. In case you forgot, he's not exactly Chatty Cathy.” 

I scoffed while Sam had a wave of frustration. “And you're not even gonna see him when you're in Idaho?” 

“Well, like I said, as long as he's catnip for angels, he's keeping his distance.” Dean then turned towards the staircase to leave. 

“So then, what’s the point, Dean?” Sam asked as Dean walked up the stairs, “I mean, it's barely even a case.” 

Kevin was now in the room as we looked up at the elder Winchester. “That's why I'm just gonna go have a little look-see, and...we're not gonna waste a whole lot of manpower on a big pile of nada.” 

“In other words, a perfect excuse to bail out on research.” Kevin said clearly. 

Dean smirked a little, “you got me.” 

As he turned to leave, I said, “Hey! If you’re not back in forty-eight hours I’m driving there myself and dragging your ass home. Got it?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” He said dryly then left. 

I grumbled, “Stubborn ass.” Then turned around and went back into the library. Despite Dean’s absence we had a job to do. The three of us began working, reading through the books slowly but surely. Sam even tried to get in contact with a Professor we knew but that was a bust, since he was on sabbatical. So we were on our own for the most part. 

Still it was quiet and we kept steady with it. Quite a few hours in, Sam got a phone call from Dean. “Yeah, we're almost through the texts over here.” He stood up and I followed, leaning into the phone to listen, Sam even crouched down to help with that since he was so tall. “We got nothing.” 

“Have you tried Professor Morrison?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, he's unreachable. He took a sabbatical to live amongst the Trobrianders of Papua New Guinea. Needless to say, we're pretty burnt.” 

“Well, there's one guy there who is nothing if not well-rested.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows then realized who he was talking about, “Crowley?” I asked over the phone. 

“I'm just saying we're not keeping him chained up for the one-liners.” 

“It’s worth a shot, I guess.” Sam said, despite my reservations on it. 

“Just be careful, alright? Don't fall for any of his ‘quid pro quo’ crap.” I nodded at that. 

“Noted. So, what about you? How's Cas' lead panning out?” 

I perked up at that, wanting to know more. Dean replied, “Four victims suddenly exploded. I tried EMF. I've looked for hex bags, sulfur—nada.” 

“Spontaneous combustion?” Sam asked. 

“Maybe the Thule?” I guessed. 

“No, no, no. I already ruled them out.” Dean said, “The bodies were vaporized. They weren't burned.” 

A wave of concern came over the both of us, “That sounds like a real case. Dean, we should be there.” Sam told him. 

“Naw, man. That's-That's uh...not necessary. No, I, uh-I got this one covered.” We said bye to Dean and he hung up. 

I scoffed. “Seriously?” 

“I know.” We turned back to the library. Sam grabbed a few of Kevin’s notes and copied down a few of the symbols onto a new piece of paper while I prepared myself to go see the King of Hell. 

I had so many questions for the demon, but I knew he wouldn’t want to answer them unless he got something in return. All of them involving Reagan, the demon who was possessing Jackson’s body. But I doubted Crowley would tell me anything just by association with the Winchesters. 

I followed behind Sam, who protested initially with me dealing with him, but I assured him that I would solely be there to make sure Crowley didn’t lie. After all he was our last resort. Sam turned on the lights and opened up the dungeon for us, the demon now waving off a little relief from his boredom. 

As soon as he saw me, he smirked. “Hello there, Darling. It’s been a while.” 

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms from where I stood, just before the circle of the iron devil’s trap. I stayed quiet as Sam stepped in and sat on the edge of the table, putting down the paper with the symbols. Crowley picked it up with a wave of curiosity. “I've been politely asking for reading material for weeks, and this is what you bring me?” Demanding more likely. He then pushed it back towards us. “Pass.” 

“Can you read Elamite or not?” I asked dryly. 

“It's by no means my favorite of the ancient tongues, but yes.” 

“Will you help us read it?” Sam asked firmly. 

“Why on earth would I?” The demon asked. Frankly he had a point, but I wouldn’t tell him that. 

“Because I was there that night. I saw what humanity did to you.” Sam told him, with a wave of compassion. He had told me briefly what happened in that church between him and the demon. Crowley asking for forgiveness. By Crowley’s scoff, I knew he didn’t want to acknowledge the past event. “Like it or not, there's still a little part of you that's not a douche.” 

“Sorry, Moose. To the last drop.” 

Sam then stood from the table and leaned his large frame over the demon with intimidation all over him. “Crowley, the only reason you're alive is because my brother thought you would be useful. So far you've done Jack.” 

I sighed. “Back to plan ‘B’, I guess.” I said as Sam took the paper and started to walk out. 

“Which is?” Crowley asked me. 

I began to turn, not totally gearing his face, when I said, “Give you up to Abaddon.” 

A pure wave of fear came from the demon as well as anger, “You think you can threaten me with that hack?!” I turned back to him, Sam as well. “She’s all fury, no finesse.” 

“I'm not so sure. Our last encounter with Abaddon, she was, uh—she was pretty terrifying. Scarier than you've been in years.” Sam and I both laughed at his comment. 

A wave of determination came from the demon. “Bring that to me.” 

Sam then went up to him carefully and passed him the piece of paper. Crowley then crumbled it up in his hands and threw it at Sam's face with a full wave of anger. Sam gave him a bitchface and we left the room, knowing full well Crowley wasn’t going to give us anymore at the moment. 

Sam slammed the door behind us as now I sensed he was frustrated and pissed off too. I wasn’t all that happy either about it, but I kept it off my face. 

“Hey.” I said to him. He sighed with exasperation waving off him as he rubbed his face. I went up to him and pulled his hand into mine. “We’re not done with him yet. Let’s just cool off and see what we can do. Okay?” 

He nodded and pulled me into a hug. I was a little surprised, but I knew he was anxious about all of this. I sighed and pressed myself into him, trying to show that I was there for him, no matter what. After a few minutes of quiet, he let go of me and we went to the kitchen to sit and wait. 

…

Later, we went back into the dungeon once again. We walked towards the demon quietly, as determination wafted off him. “I’ll do it.” A wave of hope came from Sam and I for a moment, “But I want something in return.” 

I raised an eyebrow at that. “Yeah,” Sam asked, “and what’s that?” 

“A telephone call.” Sam and I both scoffed and turned around towards the door. “Come on, Moose! Even Dahmer got one telephone call.” 

This time around, we went to the library, trying to figure out who Crowley wanted to call, and the fact that we might have needed to give it to him. Kevin walked in on that and we had to tell him the plan. 

He wasn’t having it. “Seriously? You want to let Crowley communicate with Abaddon? A king and a power-mad knight of hell isn't enough for you? You want to throw a demonic team-up into the mix?” 

“I don’t think so. I mean, we don’t trust Crowley either.” I told him. 

Sam then said, “But I can't honestly see him working with Abaddon. He _hates_ her too much.” 

“You said it. You can’t trust him.” Kevin reasoned. 

“We don't have to. Look, Crowley's bound. We can end the call whenever we want. Even if he wanted to give Abaddon information, he has none to give her. He doesn't even know where the bunker is.” 

Wariness still came off the kid. “He says he can decrypt the translation? What if he's lying?” 

“You’re right.” I said with a smile, “it’s a good thing then that I can tell when he lies, but—it would help to have some proof.” 

Kevin then grabbed some more paper and wrote, in Elamite, the ingredients we knew were used in the angel spell that caused them to fall. The three of us then went back to the dungeon, Crowley was waving off amusement at the sight of the kid, but we all kept neutral faces. 

Sam shoved the paper at Crowley. “What are these?” 

With an air of taunting in his voice, Crowley replied, “Ingredients.”

“More specific.” I ordered. 

“Ingredients…” he shoved the paper back, “for a spell.” Sam then shoved it back to him, giving him a look that said he wanted more. “Heart of a Nephilim. Cupid's bow. Grace of an angel.” He listed off with a wave of boredom. 

Kevin then handed him another paper, with symbols we didn’t know the English version of. “And the rest of them.” Kevin said. 

“Phone call. You'll get the rest when I get paid. Now. Who's gonna be a dear and open up a vein?” Sam and I exchanged a look. 

The three of us left the room again, and spoke briefly. “Why the hell does he need blood?” I asked. 

“It’s a blood spell, it’s how demon’s like to communicate.” Sam explained which made my stomach churn. 

“Okay.” I looked between them. “Do we really want to do this?” 

“We need it translated.” Sam said then we both looked to Kevin. We knew that this decision was on him. 

“I hate the bastard, but let’s do this. We need it translated more than anything.” Sam then left the hallway towards the medical ward. He returned with a roll up medical kit and we went back inside. 

Sam threw it on the table silently and unrolled it. He pulled one out and prepared his arm to draw blood. Before he could do so, the demon said, “Ah, bup-bup-bup.” 

We all glared at him as Sam stopped himself, “what?” 

“Not yours. His.” He looked to Kevin. 

“What difference does it make?” I asked with bite in my voice. 

“I’ve had yours.” He said to Sam, “Stuck in here, you can't fault me for wanting a little variety.” 

“No way!” Kevin said with a wave of realization and anger. 

“What's wrong, Short Round? Afraid of needles?” 

“No, I just have a policy of not giving blood to anyone who's murdered my mother.” 

Waves of smugness now came off Crowley. “I...have nothing...but time.” 

“You’re a dick.” Sam told him and packed up the kit. 

“Good luck with that translation.” 

Kevin, with waves of anger and frustration, grabbed the kit and a syringe. Soon enough he injected into his elbow and drew some blood. I was quick to help him as Sam grabbed a metal dish from the other room. He dropped it on the table with waves of anger coming from him, and I squirted out the blood into it. 

The three of us stared daggers at the demon while he began the blood spell. “ _Inferni sectatores, nunc audite regem,”_ He recited and the blood began to swirl in front of us. I kept the surprise look off my face. Then Crowley began to speak to someone. “This is Crowley. Connect me to—“ he paused as a wave of frustration came from him. “Crowley!” 

Sam and I exchanged a look, to which he said, “Bad connection.” More waves of frustration as Crowley continued into the blood, “Crowley. Your king.” He paused a moment, “If you don't connect me to Abaddon right away, I will be forced to—“ 

He was cut off and stopped speaking. “What?” I asked. “What happened?” 

“I’ve been placed on hold.” I laughed. “What?” 

“The King of Hell was put on hold, it's funny.” I told him. He stared back at me with his own glare. “I suppose we’ll wait.” 

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” 

I smirked. “Now I am. Knowing that you're fuming.” 

We waited for a while to see if Abaddon would actually answer him. As entertaining as it was, by the time it reached almost an hour, Sam was ready to call it. “How long's it take to transfer a demonic phone call?” 

“Can it, Moose.” He growled. 

“Crowley, you got your call.” Kevin told him. 

“Yeah, it’s time.” I said moving towards the table. 

“It's time when I bloody well say it's time!” He shouted at me. I gave him a look, then the blood began to bubble again and I could hear some demonic whispers. “Hello, Abaddon.” Sam and I exchanged a look. 

“Crowley, how in the hell are you?” I could hear Abaddon ask faintly. 

They spoke for a few moments, with me soaking in every detail. “And how are the numbers?” The demon asked. 

“You mean souls?” Abaddon asked. “I've managed to double on your projections. Now, how did I ever pull off such a feat?” 

Anger wafted off him. “You're taking souls before their time. Voiding my contracts.” She’s causing absolute chaos amongst the deals the demons were making. This was worse than we thought. 

“That's right. I'm taking it all down, brick by brick. It's over. The days of Crowley, the king of bureaucrats—are done.” She said, I could hear the pride in her voice. 

I had never seen so much anger come from the demon. It overpowered the room so much I stood a step back away from him. “You...ganky...putrescent...skanger.” She just laughed. “It may look like bean-counting to you, it may lack a certain adolescent flair, but my way...Works!” 

Sam was catching wind of how truly angry Crowley was, he looked to Kevin and I in shock. “You think you can control Hell with chaos alone, without the support of those who are still loyal to me?!” 

I swallowed at the realization. _Hell is at Civil War._ “No one's seen you in weeks, and last I saw you, Howdy and Doody and their girlfriend had you tied up nice and tight. Seems to reason, they've turned you into a kennel dog. How does it feel, Crowley, to be the Winchesters' bitch? It's been fun indulging in your bluffs, but we both know you have no real authority left, no leverage. You have nothing to offer me. You have nothing.” 

Sheer determination came from him, “Your way will backfire. You. Will. Burn.” 

“I can’t wait.” The call was done as Crowley pushed the bowl of blood away. Defeat came from him now. 

“Crowley?” I said as I stared at the demon. 

“Bring me the translations. I keep my agreements.” He said. Kevin quickly grabbed the papers and handed them to me, to which I gave them to the demon. “‘Obtain the ingredients—heart, bow, Grace.’ Blah, blah, blah. ‘Mix until the smoke shall rise from the ashes casting the angels from heaven.’ Blah, blah—Oh. Hm. It's irreversible.” 

I looked to Sam in horror. “What?” He asked. 

“This spell can't be undone. The new world order—we're stuck with it.” 

“Oh crap.” I muttered in complete shock. Crowley was telling the truth. 

…

Kevin went to his room to take a break while Sam and I talked a little about what we learned. Turns out, I was the only one able to tap into what Abaddon was saying. I chalked it up to my abilities. We were sitting on the steps that went into the library. “She’s destroying the whole system. More and more souls are being called in before the contracts are up. She’s only getting stronger.” 

Sam took my hand. “We’ll figure it out. They’ll show themselves eventually. And we’ll find a way.” 

I nodded. Then Sam’s cell phone rang. It was Dean. So he put it on speaker, to which Dean told us what happened in the case. A rogue angel was smiting people and he went after Cas. Dean thankfully took care of it and he was okay. Then we told him what happened with Crowley.

He was shocked to say the least. “Well, there's no way. Crowley's lying.” 

“No, Dean, not this time.” Sam told him. “Look, Metatron built the spell to withstand any attempt to reverse it. There is no putting the angels back in Heaven. It's done.” 

“Are you gonna tell Cas?” I asked. 

He sighed then paused for a few moments. “I’ll let you know. I got to go.” Then he hung up abruptly. 

I sighed as Sam put the phone away. “Would it kill him to put Cas on the phone?” 

Sam chuckled a little, “Apparently.” Then he looked down at me with worry coming off him. “You okay?” 

I nodded and pressed my hand to my face, leaning my elbow onto my knee. “Think we’ll ever just catch a break? It will all be over and we can just worry about our next case and that’s it?” 

Sam then curled an arm around me and kissed my temple. “That would be great, but…” 

“We’re not that lucky.” We both chuckled. “Hungry? Wanna make some dinner?” 

“Sure. Let me clean up first.” 

“Okay.” I gave him a small kiss and got up. I headed straight to the kitchen and worked on some dinner for the three of us. After a few minutes, Sam came in with waves of confusion. “What is it?” I asked him. 

“I don’t know...something about Crowley.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows “what? Did he do something?” 

He looked back at the door then back at me. “He stole some of the blood. He injected himself with it.” 

“With human blood?” Sam nodded. I shook my head. “Okay. Let’s deal with that later. I think we all have had enough of Crowley for one day.” 

“Yeah. I think you're right.” So we turned back to dinner and worked on it. Trying to find some peace after a very stressful day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next! Bad Boys. Remember, every comment and kudos is greatly appreciated. Really makes my day!


	7. Bad Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As things grow quiet, Dean gets a call from someone of his past, and we find ourselves on a ghost hunt at a boys home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! So...I believe this will be my last chapter right before the last episode of Supernatural. Geez, this all is so unreal. My next chapter, A Rock and a Hard place, will most likely posted Thursday or Friday. I will be posting my thoughts there. But! I will say this, just cause the show is coming to its conclusion, this wonderful community and amazing fandom is not. As a wise man once said, “family don’t end in blood.” And I suppose that’s what we are. A family. We’re full of people from all walks of life. We love. We hope. We want to fight the good fight. Much like these beloved brothers. Wow. Here I go and start spewing out thoughts. All I will say is for now, this story is far from over with our beloved reader, and this family with end. The end has no end. —Indigo.

_“I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring._ ”—David Bowie

  
  
  


It was a quiet morning. We had no case and Kevin was working on the tablet translation. I got up about the same time Sam went on his morning jog. I decided to spend at least part of the day reading. So I got dressed and ate a small breakfast, taking my coffee into the library and sitting on one of the comfy chairs. I pulled out one of my few pleasure reading books, a action/romance YA novel that I picked up from the local book store. And enjoyed the quiet. 

I could sense that Sam was already back, taking a shower and all that, while Dean was in the garage, probably working on the Impala. Kevin was down in his room working on the demon tablet. 

I was a few chapters in when Sam walked in with waves of contentment. “Hey.” I said before he even saw me. 

He smiled at me and walked over. “Hey beautiful. Where’s Dean and Kevin?” 

I smiled as he leaned down and kissed me. “Dean’s in the garage and Kevin’s in his room.” 

Then he eyed my book. “Whatcha reading?” 

“Just a novel, you know just a fun read. Wouldn’t mind the company.” He smiled and proceeded to walk over to a shelf and pulled out one of the Oz books. 

Sam pulled the chair out next to me. I continued reading as he waved off contemptment. I smiled at the thought and enjoyed the idea of reading with him. Even if it’s just to be in the same room, it was nice to spend some quiet time with Sam. 

Then a phone started to buzz across the room. We both looked up and he waved off some annoyance. He put the book down and quickly got up to answer it. I bookmarked my own in case this call was more than a telemarketer. “Hello?” Dean then entered the room waving off curiosity. “I'm sorry, there's no, uh-there's no Dee-dawg, uh…” 

Dean then grabbed the phone from him. “Here, I got it.” Sam and I exchanged a look as I closed the book in front of me. “Sonny, hey.” After a few moments of speaking, he said, “Yeah, just sit tight. I'll be there as soon as I can.” 

Dean hung up and I stood, knowing that this would lead to a new case by his waves of urgency. “So, what was that all about, ‘Dee-dawg?’” Sam asked. I smirked at that. 

“You remember when we were kids that spring in upstate New York? Dad was on a rugaru hunt. We, uh—we crashed at the, uh...the bungalow colony with the ping-pong table?” I forgot that their dad would just up and leave them somewhere and go hunting. I kept my low opinion about their upbringing to a minimum as I knew the subject of their dad was a sensitive subject. I only heard bits and pieces like this. I stepped towards them to listen with crossed arms. 

“Yeah. Uh, y-you disappeared.” Sam said. “Dad came back. You were gone. He shipped me off to Bobby's for a couple months and went and...found you. You were lost on a hunt or something.” 

A wave of realization came from Dean, “ _That’s_ what we told you. Right.” 

“I'm sorry? That's what you _told_ me?” 

“Truth is, uh...I lost the food money that Dad left for us in a card game.” I chuckled a bit, really surprised about it. “I knew you'd get hungry, so...I tried taking the five-finger discount at the local market and got busted.” I stopped smiling at that. “I wasn't on a hunt. They sent me to a boys' home.” 

“A boys' home, like a...reform school?” I asked with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Yeah, more or less.” A wave of nostalgia came from him. “It was a farm, and the guy who ran it—Sonny—he, uh, you know, he looked after me.” 

“Wait. Does Sonny know what we do?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah. He's good people. I gave him the number to the Bat Phone, and sounds like he's got something in our wheelhouse. So...Hey—you gonna be cool to do this, or are you too tired?” 

Again with the worry for Sam. I scrutinized Dean a moment as Sam said, “Uh, no. Yeah, I'm just, uh...I'll be fine.” 

“And _everybody's_ okay with...heading out to the Catskills?” The way Dean said it told me that he wasn’t talking to Sam or me. I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what the hell was actually going on. 

“Yeah, I think we’re good.” I replied quickly. 

Sam nodded and Dean seemed to let it go. “Yeah. Right. Alright. Grab your stuff, and we'll head out.” 

“Hey, Dean…” Sam said, “I mean, why didn't you just tell me you went to a boys' home?” 

“I don't know. Uh, it was Dad's idea. And then it just—you know, the story became the story. I was sixteen.” 

Sam and I exchanged a look before heading off to our rooms to gather our things for the road. We were all on the road in under fifteen minutes. It took us some time, but we made it to Upstate New York in the middle of the afternoon two days later. We pulled up to a beautiful farm with green grass and fields surrounding a large, old white farmhouse. There was a old sign sitting in front of it with the words, ‘Sonny’s Home for Boys.’

After we parked and got out of the car, Sam said, “You were here for two months and Dad couldn't find you?” 

“Oh, no. He found me. He found me quick. But he left me here 'cause I lost our money.” He chuckled a little. 

“You were sixteen.” I said, surprised by it, “You made a mistake.” 

“Yeah. _I_ made the mistake. Look, I know how you both think. None of this was Dad's fault.” 

I shook my head as we walked towards the door of the house, I looked up to see a figure in the window on the second floor watching us. I raised an eyebrow at that, but kept walking. Then Dean knocked on the door. A middle-aged woman opened the door, wearing a sweater and a large cross on a necklace. She gave off waves of annoyance and determination as she folded her arms to stare at us. 

“Hi.” Dean said with a smile. 

“What can I do for you?” She asked. 

Dean introduced us, and said, “We're old buddies of Sonny's.” 

“Prison buddies?” 

I chuckled a little as Dean and Sam both wafted off discomfort. _Oh, yeah, forgot that they have a record._ I thought at that moment. “No. Uh...you mind telling him that we're here?” Dean asked. 

“I’ll go get him.” She said. She turned for a moment but as we were about to step in, she turned back and said, “I just mopped this floor, so you take off those roach stompers.” 

As she disappeared into the house, the three of us kicked off our boots, not wishing to piss the lady off. Sam then said, “Sonny's an ex-con, huh?” 

Dean gave off a wave of annoyance. “What, and we're such angels? Trust me, he's more than made up for it.” We walked into the house together. It seemed like a normal family home with a couch and cozy furniture. Dean was waving off nostalgia as we waited, staring at the couch for a moment.

I turned when I sensed another presence, a man in his fifties with a bushy and graying mustache, glasses and his long hair pulled back in a ponytail came in with a smile. “Dee-dawg!” 

Dean smirked back. “Sonny! Good to see you.” 

“Hey, you too brother.” He and Dean hugged for a moment. Then he looked up to Sam. “Oh, and this must be Sam.” 

“Good to meet you.” Sam said as they shook hands, then introduced me, and I smiled. 

Dean then said, “So, farm looks, uh, nice.” A little bit of a lie since it looked a little run down. 

“Oh, please, man. It's barely standing.” Sonny told him, “Only got a handful of kids working around here now.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Because these days, the system would rather incarcerate a boy than redeem him.” I frowned at that. 

Sam then noticed the woman who let us in. He then said, “Hey, Sonny, uh, you-you mind if we talk alone?” 

The man then turned to her, “Hey, Ruth, would you, uh, please go check on the boys, make sure their morning chores are getting done?” 

She left, and Dean got down to business. “Alright. So, what’s happening?” 

“Well, you remember Jack, don't you?” 

“Yeah. The, uh, tough, old leatherneck.” 

A small wave of grief came over the man. “Mm-hmm. Well, somehow, that ancient, rusty, broken-down tractor just roared to life and ran him over the other night.” 

I raised my eyebrows at that. “Maybe-maybe it just, uh, slipped out of park or something.” Dean replied. 

“Couldn’t have.” Sonny told us, and shook his head. “You know, I never-I never believed any of this mumbo-jumbo stuff you boys are into, but...something ain't right.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked. 

“Well, just...things started happening—you know, lights flickering on and off, strange scratching sounds coming from inside the walls, windows and doors slamming.” 

The boys and I exchanged a look. _Spirit activity_. “Alright.” Dean said. “You think you can round up the boys while we take a look around?” 

“Well, that shouldn't be a problem. Most are home on break–well, except those with no home worth going to.” 

“Mm.” Dean responded as Sonny walked out. Dean then turned to us. “Alright. Why don't you two take the house? I'll check out the barn. Work your magic.” He said directly to me. 

“Course.” I said with a smile. Sam and I checked the ground floor first as I let my walls fall and become more sensitive to the house around me. It was old, and residual energy was there from the years of use. But looking past it, I sensed something newer and more active upstairs. 

Sam and I went up as I looked for the source. We ended up in one of the bedrooms. It had six beds that clearly were for the boys living here. The place looked as run down as the rest of the farm, but cozy. As I looked for what I sensed, it grew a little stronger but not the source, Sam showed me something. One of the bed’s had occult symbols that we were more than familiar with. Sam then ripped off the tape that had the boys name on it. Well several layers of tape with several names until he found a ‘Dean W.’ In all capital letters. 

Waves of surprise came from both of us as we realized that this was Dean’s bunk from his time here. Then we heard a noise. Knowing no one was supposed to be there, Sam pulled out a knife and stood in front of me. He slowly went to the other side of the room towards the other door that was left ajar. 

I was close behind him as he went towards it. We could hear someone whispering. Behind it though, was just the woman from earlier, Ruth I recalled. She was startled and quickly got up from her knees. She was wafting off anxiety, clearly we interrupted her praying. Sam quickly put away the knife as he said, “Hey. I am so sorry. I-I-I thought, we...saw something in, uh –“

“Like a ghost?” She asked. I stepped up to stand next to Sam as we both were surprised at her. “Sonny told me you were old friends, but…I know why you're really here.” She looked down at the rosary in her hands. “That's why I was praying for us.” 

“Praying for what?” I asked warily. 

She smiled slightly and said, “For the ghost that haunts this farm to leave.” 

I nodded. “Well, thank you for that. Can you tell us about the place? It might help.” 

She nodded and sat down on her bed. “I grew up in this town. I used to come up here as a little girl. The Wasserlaufs, Howard and Doreen—they used to own this farm back then. My co-worker, Jack, may he rest in peace, he worked here as a farmhand. Howard was a nice man, but...Well, he'd get into that corn liquor, and…one night he got it into his thick skull that Jack and his wife, Doreen, were rolling around in the hay. It wasn't true, but-but Howard's paranoia got the better of him. He tried to kill them both. Jack got away, but Doreen…” 

Sam and I exchanged a look, then he asked, “He killed her?” 

“With a meat cleaver. Got life in jail. Which for Howard ended a year ago. He always swore he'd get his revenge on poor old Jack, and...looks like he finally got it.” It sounded like this could be our spirit, but I wasn’t sure. 

Still Sam asked, “Is Howard buried here in town?” 

She gave us a look, and said, “I suppose...yes.” 

…

That night we went to the cemetery. It was late, and it wasn’t easy to find the man’s bones. But we did thankfully. The boys were digging the grave up while I stood watch holding the flashlight for them. I was shivering a little from the November air, but I stayed quiet. Sam then asked Dean, “So...Dad didn't want you to tell me. How come? Was this place really so bad?” 

Dean gave off little waves of annoyance as he said, “I don't really remember. I mean, look, nobody bad touched me. Nobody burned me with their smokes, or beat me with a metal hanger. I call that a win.” 

Sam chuckled at that, then he hit something with his shovel. “Hey.” 

The boys cleared off the top of the coffin and pried it open. I offered a hand to them and helped them out of the hole. Then we poured salt and lighter fluid liberally over the bones quietly. I sighed a little as Dean said, “alright. Let's barbecue old MacDonald here, get the hell out of Dodge.” 

He lit a match and threw it into the bones. Once we cleared the mess, we went back to our motel and slept for a few hours before hitting the road. 

The three of us left a little late that morning, and I was fully expecting to get straight on the road. But Dean had other ideas. He wanted to have a late breakfast at a little diner spot called Cus’s Place. Dean was waving off all kinds of excitement and nostalgia when we walked in and sat down. He especially had eyes on a waitress working at the counter. 

Sam was still pretty tired and said, “Dean, you know we’re fine just grabbing a burger-to-go somewhere, right?” 

“What, and miss out on the best banana pancakes you ever had?” Dean asked and looked at the menus in front of us. 

“You had me at pancakes.” I said with a smirk. For a few minutes, while half mulling over what I wanted, I noticed Dean was still eyeing the waitress. Then she came up to us. She was a brunette woman with a name tag that said, Robin. 

“Hi. Welcome to Cus's. What can I get you guys?” She said with a smile. 

Dean smiled proudly, “Bet you never thought you'd see me here, huh?” 

She waved off realization and anxiety, but didn’t give herself away. “Uh, look, I'm a little bit slammed right now. Do you guys want to hear the specials?” 

“Robin…” he gave off a little wave of hope, “Dean Winchester.” 

“Um…” 

“I used to live up at Sonny's.” Dean explained while Sam and I both stayed quiet. 

“Oh, oh. Uh, look, sorry. There's just-there's so many boys that pass through there, it's-it's hard to remember every-every name and face.” She was clearly lying, but I said nothing. 

The waves of hope were gone and replaced with disappointment. “Yeah. Uh, no. Sorry, I just-I remember you coming up there with your mom. She'd give guitar lessons. It's, uh-it was a long time ago.” 

A wave of nostalgia came from Robin now, and some old grief. “Yeah. Mom—she loved helping out the boys. I guess that's why I kept giving lessons after she passed.” She cleared her throat and there was an awkward silence. None of us knew what we wanted to say. Then another called on her, “Um, would you excuse me? I'll be right back.” 

A wave of curiosity came from Sam as he said, “Dude…?” 

“Let’s go.” Dean said suddenly getting up and leaving. Sam and I exchanged a look and we followed him. 

I called after Dean and said in the parking lot, “What was that?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Nothing? Well, obviously it was something. Who was that waitress?” Sam asked him. 

“I said it was nothing, alright? Drop it.” Dean said then picked up his ringing cell phone. “Sonny.” A wave of panic came from him, “what?!” 

“What happened?” I asked urgently. 

“We’ll be right there.” He said before he hung up. “The lady...uhh, Ruth. She's dead.” 

We all scrambled into the Impala and sped off back towards the farm. When we got there. The Coroner and a police car were there. We met up with Sonny on the front lawn. He was waving off grief and fear. “I tried to get in to save her, but the damn door wouldn't open.” 

“Locked?” Sam asked. 

“There's no locks on the farm.” 

“That means our little field trip to the cemetery was a bust.” Dean said to us. “Sonny, is there anything else weird you can remember?” 

“What, 'cause we're not chest-deep in weird already, boys?” He asked. 

I chuckled at that. “I know, I know. He means anything really.” I told him. 

“There was one thing. Ruth always had her rosary beads with her, but now I can't find them anywhere.” 

“Alright.” Sam said, “Um, let's start with the vics, okay? I mean, both lived in the house. They both, uh, worked closely with the boys.” 

“Alright, why don't I go have a chat with the rug rats, see what's up?” Dean said. 

“I’ll go with you.” Dean and I walked off while Sam and Sonny went to take a look at some old records. 

As we walked quietly towards the house, I sensed three of the kids who were talking next to the side of it. “Come on, whatcha gonna do about it? You gonna cry?” One of them mocked. 

“Timmy, you're such a little weirdo.” Another said. Then suddenly Dean picked up the pace and intervened. I stood back and watched as he grabbed the two bigger boys and moved them off the smallest one, Timmy I presumed. 

“Hey. Hey!” Dean said. “What are you doing?” He asked them. The two older ones were now waving off a little bit of fear. “Come here. Huh?” He said to one. 

The kid then decided to try to be tough, “nothing.” 

Dean turned back to the smallest boy in glasses, “Timmy, what’s going on.” 

Timmy just stayed silent as one of the other kids huffed, waving off annoyance now. Dean was now between Timmy and the other two boys. “Alright, you two. Where were you this morning when Ruth had her accident?” 

“Unless you're a cop, we don't need to tell you anything.” One of them said. 

“Oh, okay. Well…” I smirked when Dean pulled out his fake badge. “How about _that_?” He asked them as he showed his badge to them quickly. Now they were really waving off fear. 

“We weren't even here this morning. Sonny sent us into town to get some chicken feed—we swear.” 

“What about Ruth?” I asked, walking up to the,. “What can you tell us about her?” 

“Uh, we used to call her the warden. She was a real Bible-thumping hard-ass.” One of the boys said while the other nodded. 

“Obviously.” I gave Dean a look as he asked, “What else? Anything different or _weird_ you can think of?” 

“You mean besides Timmy?” Both of the boys laughed at that while Timmy looked down. I suddenly had flashbacks of my own childhood bullies. 

Dean then lowered an octave in his voice, “Hey! Either of you touch him ever again, I'm gonna go all Guantánamo on you.” One of the kids visibly swallowed and waved off a little more fear. “Understand me? You get the hell out of here. Go on! Get.” 

The two kids scurried off and Dean turned back to Timmy. The boy then walked up and picked up a toy action figure from the ground. Dean asked him, “Hey. You and Bruce okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Listen to me.” Dean couched down so he could look the boy in the eye. “Guys like that- they're cowards, okay? All you got to do is stand up to them one time and they'll stop, I promise.” 

The boy looked down and said, “Okay.” 

I then walked up to him and said, “You’re Timmy right?” I crouched down next to Dean, who then stood upright, and offered him a hand and introduced myself. He shook it, with a surprisingly good grip. “Wow. Nice handshake.” 

“Thanks.” He said with a small wave of pride. “Dean taught me.” I looked up and smiled at him. 

“Did he now?” Dean just turned away a little bashful, but pride was wafting off him too. Tim then went off to go play while Dean and I walked around the yard some more. I put my hands in my pockets as Dean wafted off nostalgia. “So...Robin. Did something happen there?” I asked with a smile. 

He tried to brush me off as another wave of disappointment came from him. “It’s nothing.” 

“Come on, Dean you can tell me. I _know_ that you knew her. In fact! You were having a lot of feelings about her.” 

He sighed. “Yeah, I did. Hell did I _know_ her. But...that was a long time ago.” 

I smirked, “what was she? First girlfriend or something?” His smile gave it away. “She was, wasn’t she?” I asked excitedly. 

“Yeah, she was...I can’t believe she doesn’t remember me.” Before I could even tell him, we heard one of the boys screaming. Dean and I bolted towards the sound to find one of the kids badly hurt. 

…

Dean and I got back to the farmhouse, after helping the kid to the hospital with Sonny, and we found Sam in Sonny's office with a file in his hands. “Kid's gonna need about 8,000 stitches, but he'll be fine.” Dean announced with waves of anxiety, but a little relief from both of us. 

“That kid was bullying Timmy before the accident, right?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“Check this out.” Sam handed the file to me and Dean looked over my shoulder. “Timmy was found in an abandoned building about a year ago all by himself. No one was sure how long he had been there.” 

“What about his parents?” I asked as I handed it back to him, now upset about the kid. 

“Well, they posted a picture on the Internet, but no one ever showed up.” 

“Well, then, what's he doing here? Shouldn't he be in an orphanage?” Dean asked. 

“He kept running away from Child Services. So about three months ago, Sonny offered to take him in.” 

I shook my head. “Poor kid.” I muttered. 

“Alright, so hard-ass counselors, bullies, all bite the dust, but Timmy's still standing.” Dean said, “So, what are we talking? We got ourselves a Damien on our hands?” 

“No. EMF rules out a demon. So...probably ghost possession.” 

“I talked to him though.” I said, “My alarm bells never went off around him.” 

“Maybe the ghost is only part time.” Sam thought out loud, “or so deep that you couldn’t sense it. Dormant.” 

“Meaning what, we find Timmy and shove a fistful of salt down his throat, forced ejection?” That made waves of discomfort come from all three of us. Dean then sighed and said, “You two are taking the barn this time.” 

Dean then headed out and I sighed. “Again. Poor kid.” I said as we headed out towards the barn. The first thing we found was the friggin tractor. 

I took a pause as I stared at it a moment. The thing was used to kill a man, and I couldn’t help but think it must have been terrifying. Sam then got my attention and we walked towards the back of the room. I let my walls fall, looking for any sign of the boy. 

Then Sam looked up and showed me what he was looking at. It was a trap door with a ladder leading up to it. “Hmm.” I said before I started climbing up without much thought. 

“What are you doing?” Sam asked with a wave of protectiveness. 

“Relax. Perfect hiding spot for the kids.” I opened the door and I looked up into the room. “You can fit. Come on.” 

Once we were upstairs we looked around with our flashlights. Then we found some drawings on the wall. Clearly done by a child. The first we could see was of one with a happy family. I smiled a little at that. But it disappeared once I saw the next one. A car was driving down the road with ‘mommy’ spelled backwards. The next was of a car crash, with a woman putting a boy outside of the car. It was clearly Timmy. The last one said it all. 

“Oh my god.” I said and looked up to Sam. “It's not Timmy.” 

“It’s his mom.” Sam said and we moved to leave the barn. We had to find Dean. The two of us scrambled down the ladder and jogged through the barn and towards the house. As we ran through the open door, my spine lit on fire. 

“Sam, go!” Dean shouted at Sam as a lamp was smashed against the wall. We both turned towards the door but it was slammed in front of us before we could get to it. I tried the handle but it was locked. 

“Locked.” I told him. Robin was there as well as Timmy who was clutching his toy for comfort. 

“Dammit.” Dean then ran to a cabinet, while also holding an iron poker, and found a box of salt. He threw it to Sam and ordered, “Circle.” 

Waves of confusion and fear came off of Robin now. “Dean, what-what just happened in there?” 

“Okay, listen to me. Whatever happens, you stay inside this circle. Understood?” 

Sam finished the circle and she stepped into it. “Alright. Dean.” Sam said towards, telling him about the boy. 

We all turned to see him at the door way, fear coming from him now. “I can't control her.” He said. 

“Can’t control who?” Dean asked him. 

I stepped towards the boy, “Your mom, right?” I crouched down in front of him, “Timmy, listen. We need you to tell us about the fire, okay?” 

Even with his fear, he began his story. “It was late, and we were driving home when we crashed in the woods. Everything was on fire. But she saved me, pushed me out…” waves of grief and sadness came from him. “With her in it.” 

“But that’s not all, was it?” Sam asked him. 

“I ran through the woods. I found an empty building, where I hid. I was scared. It was dark and cold. So I cried. I cried for my mom. And then she came.” 

I then asked gently, “But she’d changed, right?” The last drawing on the wall looked like a large, Phoenix like shape standing over a small stick figure. Timmy’s mom was protecting him. 

Dean then said, “I'll bet she gave you that cool action figure, huh?” 

“Yeah.” The boy said, “when I turned nine.” 

“Timmy...I’m gonna need that action figure.” I was too focused on the boy to realize she was there. The next thing I knew I was thrown across the room and against the wall. Dean managed to run an iron stick poker through her as I staggered up and went to the circle. 

Dean then grabbed the action figure from the boy and Sam grabbed him. Robin and I threw our arms around the boy as he said, “No!” Dean put the toy on the stove and turned the gas burner on. The boy waved off grief and sadness as we all watched it burn. 

Slowly the figure made a sound, “ _I clobber evil!…I clobber evil!…I clobber evil! …I…clobber…evil!_ ” It said as it melted away, the voice getting distorted. 

But it wasn’t enough. The burning of my spine was still there and now wind filled the room, blowing the salt circle away. “It looks like it wasn't the action figure that was anchoring her here, Dean.” Sam said with a wave of horror. 

“Then what is?!” Dean said. 

“Him.” I said once I realized it. I looked down at the boy and kept my senses out. She would be back soon. Sam then went up to Dean to speak on the side. I could still hear them, “You know what? I think maybe his mom can't let go and she's still protecting him from the grave.” 

“Protecting him from what? What, from us?” Dean asked. 

“Maybe she doesn't know what threats are real and what's not, so she just attacks all of them.” 

“Great. So, what, unless we waste the kid, we're sitting ducks?” He asked with a huge wave of frustration and anger. 

Then I realized Robin heard him too. “This is-this is crazy.” She said and rushed out of the room with Dean following her. 

I kept my arms around the boy as Sam and I both looked at eachother. We were scared shitless. “Everything’s going to be okay.” I assured the boy. 

Then the woman appeared again. This time she threw Dean across the living room. Then clenched her fist, causing him pain. I knelt down in front of Timmy. “Timmy, we're gonna need your help, okay?” 

Sam was right next to me. “Listen to me. I need you to focus, okay? Look, we are not here to hurt you.” Before he could say anything else, Sam and I were pulled backwards and pinned against the wall. 

“Sammy!” Dean shouted, rushing in. She then pushed him back away from the boy and clenched her fist again. Anger filled the room from the spirit. 

“I can't stop her.” The boy said, afraid of the ghost. 

“Timmy, you have to try!” Dean said with a strained voice. “She came to you when you cried out for her. Now you have to tell her to stop and go away!” 

“She’s my mom.” 

“She's a ghost. Timmy, because she can't move on, she's going crazy. Okay? You got to let her go. You'll be okay.” The ghost then decided to cause even more pain. But, on Sam and I. I gasped in pain as I felt my insides being squeezed and I slid to the floor against the wall. “Listen to me. Sometimes you got to do what's best for you, even if it's gonna hurt the ones you love.” 

A wave of determination came from the boy. “Mommy...stop it.” He said. 

“Timmy, Kung Fu grip!” Dean told him. 

“Mommy, stop it! Stop hurting people!” Timmy said in a louder voice. We all gasped in relief as the pain stopped, and we weren’t pinned anymore as she let us go and turned to him. She held her arms out to the boy. “You have to go. Never come back. I'll be okay. I promise.” 

The old exterior on her that was burnt and grayed, faded and she looked human again. Sadness came from her as she stared down at him. “I love you, too.” Timmy said before she faded away. The burning on my spine faded as well. 

The boy then went over and fell into Dean’s arms. I stood back up. Dean looked at the two of us as I put a hand on Sam’s arm. We were all breathing heavily. A headache began to form as I sensed the sadness of the boy, but I was happy to be alive. I leaned my forehead against Sam’s shoulder as I sighed in relief. 

…

That night, after some serious explaining to Sonny, we were about to leave. Well not until after Dean gave Robin the talk. Sam and I were speaking with Sonny about some things when Dean finally walked up. “Sounds like Timmy's gonna need some help adjusting.” The man said. 

Dean gave off a wave of pride. “Yeah, but he’s got you.” 

“I always hate to see you go, Dee-dawg.” They shook hands. “Can't thank you enough for this one, man.” They hugged for a moment. 

I smiled as they broke apart, “Sonny, we’ll see you around.” Dean told him. 

“You can bet on that, boys. Take it easy, man.” Sonny then clapped Dean on the shoulder and walked towards the house. As we walked towards the Impala, Sam threw an arm around my shoulder. I gladly walked with him. I was tired, but was glad to see a job well done. 

Sam then asked, “Hey, h-how did you know Timmy asking his mom to leave was gonna work?” 

“I didn’t. Total hail Mary. Got lucky.” Dean replied simply. 

“You just got lucky?” I asked with disbelief. There was something else there. 

Dean just nodded, and Sam continued. “Kind of like you did with this place. I mean, here I was thinking this was the worst part of your life, and it turns out it was the best. Why'd you ever leave?” 

“Never felt right.” Dean said. It was somewhat of a lie. Something of a half truth. 

“Really?” 

“It was two months, Sam, okay? And I couldn't wait to get out of here. I don't know what to tell you. It wasn't me.” 

Sam seemed to accept it and went off towards the passenger seat, he got in as I walked to my door. I looked up to see Dean have one last wave of nostalgia. I smiled a little and got in the back. Soon enough, Dean got in too. 

“Dean.” Sam said, “Thank you.” 

“For what?” Dean asked. 

“For always being there, for...having my back. Look, I know it always hasn't been easy…” 

“I don’t know what the hell you're talking about.” Dean said with a small smile. That’s what he did. Brushed things off, even if he did take the sentiment. He started the car and Sam shut his door. We drove off the property. 

I smiled, knowing that Dean wasn’t thanked enough, and I thought it was sweet that it was a thank you from Sam. “So Dean?” I said when I came into my mind. 

“What?” 

“Did you get her number?” I asked cheekily. Sam then looked at him with a smile, wondering the same thing. 

“No.” 

“Liar.” We were all smiling then. It was a good trip home. We saved the day and it felt like nothing could take us down. It was a good drive with my boys. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next! We get to see Jody once again in A Rock and a Hard Place. Yes! Let’s go!


	8. Rock and a Hard Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jody calls us in for a case and the boys get themselves reviginized. I’m not even kidding. Then, Dean’s lies finally catch up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So today is the day. November 19th, the last day, the last episode of Supernatural will air tonight. It’s kind of strange. Today is just a normal day for so many people, but for us, it’s the final send off of our beloved show. The last one. I haven’t been a part of this random for long. Honestly I joined after binging the series through quarantine. And when I finished, I just up and started watching all over again cause I couldn’t wait for the last seven more. Then I got the urge to start writing. I began with another fic, which I promise I’ll get back to eventually, then I got into this one. Here I am three parts in and another on the way. I love this show and what it’s gotten me through. I know I’m just one person on the internet who only hopes that someone will read it, but I’ve enjoyed every bit of the ride.  
> So let’s pour one more drink. Enjoy one more ride. And Carry On through this together. Thank you to everyone I’ve interacted with in the fandom. And to the cast and crew for putting on a show that will forever be in my heart.  
> Enjoy this chapter and try to get through the finale without crying. I probably won’t. Love you all—Indigo

_“Death is lighter than a feather. Duty, heavier than a mountain.”_ —Robert Jordan 

  
  
  


I was worried about Sam. Lately he had been more tired than usual, even with the regular amount of sleep I knew he was getting. I was sensing it, but he also kept brushing it off. Then one morning, I woke up to him gone. It was normal for him to try to get up without waking me to go run, but he hadn’t been so successful yet. 

So I got dressed, jeans and a long sleeve shirt, and walked out towards the kitchen. I met Dean in the hall as he was heading there too. We each grumbled a little bit of a good morning, and walked in, only to find Sam asleep and snoring on the kitchen table. 

I chuckled a little bit, relieved that he was okay, and also at Dean who waved off a little amusement. I sat down next to Sam and moved the hair out of his face. Before I could gently wake him, like I had planned, Dean took the empty coffee mug that was already on the table and slammed it down, effectively startling Sam awake. “Dean.” I said warningly. 

Still, Dean handed me the mug of coffee he poured and said, “Hey.” 

“Hey.” Sam replied, rubbing his face to wake up. 

“You okay?” I asked. 

“Yeah...uh...yeah. Just, uh...resting my head for a second.” I raised my eyebrow at that but paid no mind to it. “Um, how's Kevin? He, uh-he find anything?” 

Dean replied, “Jack. Going on about four days no sleep. He looks worse than you.” Then he began eating the cereal he poured for himself. 

“Huh. What about Crowley? Um, do you think he might be lying about the whole, uh, ‘Metatron's spell being irreversible’ thing?”

“Oh, Crowley lie?” Dean asked dryly. I just shrugged and took a sip. “I do know one thing. Next time that junkie's jonesing for a hit of blood, we got leverage.” 

“You're not wrong there.” I said, then watched Sam yawn loudly. Exhaustion was wafting off him. 

“Seriously, you want a pillow?” 

“No, I’m fine.” Sam told him. 

“You’re sick.” Dean said with an extra wave of worry. 

“No, I'm not sick. I'm just, um—I feel like my battery can't recharge.”

I moved the hair out of his face again and sighed. “Okay. Then maybe you should-“ 

Before I could finish, Dean’s cell phone rang and he answered. “Hello?” After a moment, he smiled a little and said, “Sheriff Mills. Hang on.” He told her we were there and put us on speaker. 

“Hey Jody.” I said cheerfully. 

“Hey, guys.” She paused a moment, “Uh...I got a bit of an oddball to pitch your direction.” 

“Shoot.” Sam said. 

“A small town I cover outside of Sioux Falls—only crime to speak of being the occasional cow tipping. Then last week...four people go missing.” 

“Alright, so, what makes you think this is our kind of weird?” Dean asked. 

“I've got a witness who says he saw someone _lift_ an S.U.V. to nab a girl last night.” 

The look between the three of us said it all. “We’re in, send the address.” I said and Dean hung up. 

We got our crap together and drove north. After getting into our Fed suits, and a coffee to go for Sam, we met Jody up at the scene of the crime. I was grinning as we got out to see the sheriff. She went up to all three of us with waves of joy and relief. 

“It’s so great to see you.” I told her as I gave her the first hug. 

“You too, sweetie.” 

Dean then said, after a brief hug, “Sheriff. Laying off the blind dates, I hope.” 

She and I both gave him a look, “Yeah, You bite your tongue, boy,” She replied. 

I smiled even more as she hugged Sam. “Hey.” He said, “So?” 

“So. Car was right over there,” she gestured over towards the taped off area of the parking lot while she put down the files over the Impala. “...ass over teakettle. Now, normally, if somebody would tell me that one guy lifted an S.U.V., I'd tell him to take a flying leap, but after what I've seen…” 

“Nothing’s impossible.” 

“Uh-Huh.” 

“And this matches up with the other missing how?” Dean asked. 

“Well, four abductions, strong evidence left at every scene—literally.” 

“So, first Vic was a pastor?” I asked while looking over one of the files. 

“Yeah. Door of his study was punched in. And then, the next two—an engaged couple.” 

“Locked bedroom window was ripped open.” Dean said. 

“Mm-hmm. And then we have our waitress here with the topsy-turvy ride.” 

“Any other connection among them?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah. They were all members of Good Faith church here. My, uh, my church group back in Sioux Falls was in a tizzy over it.” 

A wave of surprise came from both brothers. “Hmm.” Dean responded. 

“What?”

“I didn’t peg you for churchy.” 

“Yeah. You know...Choking on the ladies' room floor 'cause of witchcraft kind of makes a higher power seem relevant.” 

I chuckled at that, but I was a little concerned. “Jody, are you sure you're ready to jump back in the fray?” I asked. 

A wave of determination came from her now. “This wackadoo stuff keeps coming. More I know, better armed I'll be.” 

I smiled at that, while Sam said, “Okay, so, we have, uh, missing church folk and super strength. Maybe angels harvesting vessels? Could be a Buddy Boyle type thing.” 

A wave of shock now came from Jody. “Wh—angels? You’re joking.” 

Dean then said, “Don't get your pants on fire. They suck.” 

“You said there was a witness.” I said to change the subject, not exactly wishing to get into the fact that I was part angel myself. 

“Yeah, well...more or less.” She replied. We then went inside and she had us sit down in a booth. Jody then left to go get him. She came back with a homeless man holding a cup of coffee. They both sat down across from us as she said, “Okay, Slim. My friends here want to talk to you about the missing girl.” 

I smiled at him, trying to look as friendly as possible, sensing his anxiety, “Honor. Her name was Honor. Nice girl. Always left me meatloafs.” 

Sam then asked, “Slim, why don't you tell us what you saw that night?” 

“I heard a big noise, got woke, and there's somebody over there lifting a car up—like this.” He lifted his hands above his head a moment. 

“And did you happen to see who it was?” Dean asked. 

“I was too far. But I saw a light go off.” 

“A white light?” I asked, in case it was an angel. 

“Blue. Blue like fire. But not. Then she was-she wasn't there.” 

“Could you think of anything else?” Dean asked him. 

“No.” 

Dean then took out his wallet and said, “Okay. Well...Slim, thank you for your time.” He handed the man a twenty and he left with a wave of joy. 

“Okay.” Sam said, “So, no white light,” 

“No angel. Has anybody talked to the victims' families?” I asked. 

“It’s next on my list.” Jody said. 

“Okay, and you said that they were all part of the same church?” Dean asked. 

“Mm-Hmm.” 

He turned to Sam and I, “Ready to get your worship on?” 

I chuckled, and said to Jody, “Mind if I tag along with you?” 

“Not a church person?” She asked. 

I shook my head, “no, not really. Kind of uh...a family thing I guess.” 

So they boys took off in the Impala for the church while I went with Jody in her truck. It was a nice change. Jody was always a great person to be around, cheerful in her own way. We got to chatting a little as we went from house to house. But we barely found anything speaking with the victim’s families. 

As we drove towards the last house, Jody said, “so, how are things going with Sam?” She asked. 

I smiled. “They’re good. We’re pretty happy together actually.” 

She waved off some joy at that, “Good. Good.” Then I dropped my smile, my worries coming back to the surface again. “Something wrong?” She asked. 

I tried to put up a more neutral face but she looked at me knowingly. “Something’s going on with him, health wise I think. He’s been tired a lot lately. It’s probably nothing.” 

“Well, have you talked to him about it.” 

“Tried to, but...well he’s a Winchester. They’ll run themselves to the ground.” We both chuckled. “I’ll try again later.” 

Then my cell rang. I picked it up and said, “Hey.” 

It was Sam. “Hey. Uh...so, we found a group that the latest Vic was a part of.” 

“Great. What is it?” 

“‘Abstinence Purifies Us.’” 

“Huh. Well, good luck getting into that unnoticed.”

“Well…” 

My jaw dropped a little as I put two and two together. “Hold on.” I chuckled. “You boys didn’t?” 

“Yeah, we did. Groups in an hour. Wanna join?” 

“And what? Become a ‘born again virgin?’ Hell no. I’m not making promises I can’t keep, Samuel.” Jody raised her eyebrows and I covered the mic on the phone, “they had to join an Abstinence group to get info.” 

She laughed as Sam replied. “Well what do you want to do?” 

“Hmm.” I said as I thought about it. “You’ve seen ‘The Wire’ right?” 

…

Jody and I stopped at a local tech store where I found what I needed, and I had her drop me off at the church’s parking lot. She was heading towards the last family on the list then back to the motel to do more research while the boys and I took care of this. 

As soon as she drove off, I said, “Okay. Gimme your phone.” 

Sam handed me his cell and I got to work. “So what’s the plan?”

I showed him and Dean what I found. “It’s a tiny Bluetooth. I’ll be on the phone with you, with this, and I’ll be listening in on the group. Easy.” 

Dean waved off a bit of pride. “Smart. But why not join and sit with us?” 

I laughed. “Oh, I’m not feeding into the whole patriarchal idea and glorification of virginity. Frankly, I think it’s bull shit that was created to control women. But funny as hell that you two,” I said as I handed Sam the Bluetooth, “are now binded by a chastity contract.” 

Sam put it in his ear and said, “it’s just for the case. It doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Then I turned to Dean, “and _you._ ” 

“What about me?” He asked defensively. 

“Be nice. These people are taking this a lot more seriously than you.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” They started to walk away, now with me on the phone with Sam. 

I smiled as I said, “Have fun Virgins!” That earned me a mutual bitch face from both brothers, which caused me to laugh. I then went into the front seat of the Impala and put my cell on speaker. I muted myself as I listened to Sam navigate his way into the group with Dean. 

Thanks to Sam’s long hair, nobody seemed to notice he was wired up. I only wished I had popcorn as I listened to the group start. So far, I had only heard female voices from the group, other than Sam and Dean’s. 

Then a woman’s voice came up, and she said, “Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Suzy. I thought we'd begin with a silent prayer for our missing friends.” There were a few quiet moments, and I heard Sam clear his throat. Dean was probably doing something disrespectful or amusing, so I just smiled. “Amen. Now, does anyone have anything that they would like to share?” 

An eager voice came up. “I wrote a new piece of verse. It's called ‘Sex is a racket, and God's ball is in your court.’” 

Suzy then said, “And we would love to hear that, Tammy—later. Why don't we hear from our new friends? Sam, what brought you here to reclaim your virginity?” 

I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “Well, I guess because every woman I've...ever...had relations with, uh...it...hasn't ended well.” I frowned at that. I knew that was an insecurity he had. 

I heard Dean chuckle too, “He ain’t lying.” 

“Shut up, Dean.” I said out loud, even through neither of them could hear me. 

Suzy then said, after Dean’s outburst. “Thank you for being here, Sam. Stay strong. Stay pure.” 

Then all of the women in the group said in unison, “Stay strong. Stay pure.” 

“And you, Dean? What set you on the path away from sin?” 

I smiled, wondering how the man would answer, knowing full well his history with women. “Uh, hard to say, exactly. Yeah. Sex has always felt—I don't know—good, you know? I mean, really, really good.” Then his voice changed, as if he realized something, and I stopped smiling. My curiosity taking all of my focus. “Uh...But, uh...Sometimes, it just makes you feel bad, you know? You're drunk. You shack up.” I raised an eyebrow as he started to speak with a smile in his voice. “Then, it's the whole morning thing. You know, ‘Hey, that was fun.’ And then, ‘adios,’ you know? Always the ‘adios.’

“But, you know, when you get down to it, what's the big deal, right? I mean, sure, there's the touching and the feeling all of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body, the two of us moving together, pressing and pulling...Grinding.” My thoughts then went to Sam and I shifted a little in my seat. I’m sure the other women in the room were doing the same. “Then you hit that sweet spot, and everything just builds and builds and builds until it all just…” he made an exploding sound. I could sense the bitch face from Sam as he cleared his throat, knowing the two so well. “Yeah. Uh...But the whole thing was just a little too, uh...sticky. So, uh, I got my ‘V’ card back.” I could hear him slap his leg. “The end.” 

I sighed. I happy that it was over from Dean’s part, but then I realized I would have to listen to everyone else speak. It was a long hour. Once it was over, I unmuted myself. “Hey. It’s me. You guys okay?”

Sam whispered, “yep.” Then he went up to Dean. “So, um...Wee bit of an over-share, Dean?” 

“No kidding.” I said dryly. Sam chuckled at that. 

“I was purifying. Hey, she look familiar to you?” Dean asked. I rolled my eyes. 

“Suzy?” 

“Yeah. Swear I know her from somewhere.” 

I could hear the exasperation in Sam’s voice, “Oh, good, Dean. 'Cause that line never fails.” 

“Well, let’s find out.” 

“Oh he’s not.” I said. 

Before Sam could reply, it appeared someone else came up to him. “Hey.” He said. 

“So?” Another girl from the group, Bonnie I thought her name was. 

“So?” 

“How did you like the meeting?” I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. 

“Oh, I-I-I-I loved it. Yeah. Um, you know, I-I couldn't help but think of those who weren't here.” 

“Oh. Honor. She’s my favorite.” I furrowed my eyebrows at that. _Who the hell keeps favorites?_ Then she excused herself, seemingly a little flustered. 

“Her favorite?” It was Tammy who came up to Sam now, “She has no idea what kind of girl Honor is.” 

“You don't say. Uh, Tammy, right? The poet?” 

“Mm-Hmm.” 

“Tammy, why—why don't, um, why don't you tell me what kind of girl Honor is?” Sam asked. The woman began to ramble about the ‘drama’ between her and the missing girl. Honestly it was driving me a little insane. 

“And I bake real cookies for the bake sale. Honor just brings Oreos!” 

“Oh, please change the subject.” I said exasperated. 

Then something caught Sam’s attention. “Oh. You know what? Excuse me.” 

Then I heard Dean’s voice, who was clearly smiling, “Guess who's taking the teacher home.” 

“Oh my god.” I said. 

Sam must have given him his bitch face as Dean continued more seriously, “Research.” 

“You really think you're gonna hit that?” Sam asked him. “Dean, she's the chastity counselor.” 

“Yeah, I know. What about you? Any luck?” 

“You mean am I actually working? As a matter of fact, yes, I am.” 

“Alright, well, good luck with that.” Dean said then went off with Suzy. I shook my head at him, but not surprised. 

“Twenty bucks says he strikes out.” I said with a smirk. 

Sam whispered with a smile, “your on.” Then he turned back to the girl he was talking with. “Hey. Sorry. So, where were we?” 

“Honor is going to hell.” 

“Why?” I asked urgently. Taking the girl’s words a little too seriously for a moment. 

“Why’s that?” Sam asked her. She proceeded to tell us all of the juicy details, and frankly I was a little shocked by it. Since Dean was off with the counselor, Sam came out and jumped in the Impala with me. I drove us towards the motel to see Jody. And I couldn’t stop grinning.   
  


“A freaking chastity vow for all of that?” I asked with a laugh in my voice. 

Sam shook his head, “there’s a connection there, we’ll find it.” 

“I know...so.” I turned to look at him a moment, “how does it feel to be a virgin again?” 

I got a bit of a bitch face for that, then it turned into a smirk, along with a wave of excitement from him. “Won’t be for forever.”  
  
I fake gasped. “Samuel Winchester. Are you asking me to ruin your virtue? I must say, it’s scandalous.” We both laughed at that for a few moments. After that, we continued to flirt and laugh as we got closer and closer to Jody. 

Once we got there, we found her on her laptop at the motel desk. She was wearing regular clothes now. “Hey.” Sam said. 

“How was church?” She asked. 

I chuckled a little as I took off my jacket. Sam then said, “Well, it turned into confessional. Apparently, two of our vics, Honor and Pastor Fred, did the dirty.” 

Surprise came off Jody. “Oh, well. They're not the only ones. Barb Blanton, our missing bride to be—

“Yeah?” I said as I sat down on one of the beds. 

“Her mom said she heard Barb and her fiancé in Barb's bedroom.” 

Sam and I exchanged a small look as I asked, “Going at it?” 

“Well, she said she heard sex noises, then Barb crying, then Neil telling Barb it didn't count because it was under 30 seconds.” 

Sam and I both chuckled. “Yeah, I would say they were virgins.” I said. 

“And then, two hours later, she heard a smash and saw a flash of light under the door.” 

“Blue light?” Sam asked. 

Jody nodded, “You know, I'm thinking whatever this thing is, it's not going after virgins, even born-again virgins.” 

“It's taking virgins who break their chastity vow.” I said as I realized it. “Huh.” 

Sam then said, “So dragons are off the list.” 

“What about Dragons?” I asked. 

While at the same time, Jody said, “I'm sor—dragons? Those are a thing?” 

“Yeah. Too many things are things.” Sam replied simply. 

“How haven’t I heard _that_ story?” I asked. He just shrugged in response as we all got to work. After a few minutes, I started to wonder what the hell was going on with Dean. So I picked up my cell and called him, especially to tell him not to break his vow. 

“Who you calling?” Jody asked. 

“Dean.” Then I got his voicemail. “He didn’t answer. Sam why don’t you call him?” 

He nodded and took out his own phone. After a few tries, Sam started to waft off frustration and worry. Jody seemed to be picking up on it too. “Dean. Come on, call me.” Sam said, leaving a message. 

“You know, for being born again today, you sure look like crap.” Jody said. I chuckled in agreement. 

Then a wave of realization came from Sam, as well as curiosity. “Wait a second. Did you...get—“

With wide eyes she said, “Born again?”

“Yeah.” 

“Oh, Sam. I don't make promises I can't keep.” I smiled at that. “It's just...I enjoy church. I mean, after...after Bobby, Crowley...I needed something that made sense to me—you know, comfort, I guess.” 

“Yeah, I guess we're all looking for that.” Sam replied. 

“Except those that got it.” We both looked at her a little puzzle. “Come on. You two...You and Dean? That's something special, don't you think?” 

Sam and I shared a smile before he shrugged again and looked out the window a moment. Sam tried again in a few minutes as I went over some of the digital lore books I had downloaded on my laptop. 

A wave of relief came from him as Sam said, “Hey. Dean? Hey, Dean. Are you there?” I looked up as he finially got Dean to answer, or so it seemed, “Hello? Dean? Dean?” After a pause, he said, “What’s going on?...Yeah. So did we. So, get this—it's not a dragon.” After a moment, Dean hung up on Sam. I shook my head, having a feeling that I knew exactly what Dean was up to. 

About an hour later, I finally called it. I got up and grabbed my jacket, a moment later Sam followed me. “What’s up?” Jody asked. 

“Dean and Suzy—been over an hour.” Sam quickly explained. 

Jody had a small wave of panic and grabbed her jacket as well. Soon enough we were out of the door and headed to the Impala. 

…

Soon enough we found Suzy’s apartment, but no Dean and Suzy. The place was trashed so we began searching for any clues on where they may have been taken. Jody went off to speak with the neighbors while I checked out Suzy’s bedroom. Sam was in the living room looking for anything there as well. 

After not finding anything, I walked back in when I sensed Jody returned. “Hey.” Sam said while checking out a few DVD’s. 

“Hey.” Jody said back. 

“Neighbors see anything?” I asked her. 

“Flash of blue.” 

“Huh.” Sam responded. 

“You sure Dean was here?” She asked. 

Sam held up a few DVDs, showing that they were _Casaerotica_ porn. I made a face when I realized it. “Oh, yeah. And I think he crossed someone off his bucket list.” Sam said, 

I grumbled. “Dammit Dean.” Sam smirked a little, and I rolled my eyes. As we walked out of the room, I handed him twenty bucks, and headed back to the motel, now even more crunched for time to figure what the hell took them. 

After some time, Jody and I hit pay dirt. “Hey. Virgins, fire—sound familiar?” I asked him when we found it. 

Sam then came over and looked over our shoulders at the laptop in front of us. “‘Vesta, Roman Goddess of the Hearth?’” 

“In Ancient Rome,” Jodi explained, “six virgins were dedicated to this chick every year. Their main duty was to tend Vesta's hearth.” 

“Wait, so, fire is connected to virginity?” 

“Yeah, the girls had to be pure because fire is the symbol of purity.” I told him. 

“Huh. Okay, as long as Vesta's fire was kept lit, Rome received a good harvest.” 

“The virgins had to stay celibate for 30 years. If they broke their vows-“

“they were buried alive.” Jody finished for me. That just sent off new waves of fear for Dean. We worked through the lore some more, looking for more confirmation and hopefully something that could kill the goddess. Jody then found something else, “Vesta was often enveloped in a blue halo of light, which she could control at will to disorient, to maim—ohh—or to kill.” 

“Okay, what about some way to kill _her?_ ” Sam asked, “A-a weapon or-or something.” We went back to work as Sam’s cell rang. I looked up with fear when I heard him say, “Dean?” After a beat, there was a small wave of relief, “Dean. Hey….Dean, wh-...Say it again. I can’t hear you.” The line went dead. “Dean! I lost him.” 

“What?” 

“Listen, is there some kind of train station around here or something? I-I could have sworn I heard a whistle.” Jody kept on working on Vesta while I jumped on another web page and looked it up. Sam sat next to me, with fear wafting off him. 

“We’ll find him okay?” I told him firmly. He nodded as we kept working. Then we found it. “Here we go. 8:00 p.m. train out of Sioux Falls. 79 miles an hour.” 

“What's five miles east of Hartford—anything?” Sam asked. 

“Uh... Pasture mostly.” Jody said, then had a wave of realization. “No—the old Wimmer farm.” 

We all got up to leave, then Sam said, “Wait, anything on a weapon?” 

Jody went back to her lap top and read, “Oak stained in virgin blood.” 

“Where are we gonna get a virgin?” I asked. 

“I’m a virgin!” Sam said. 

Jody and I both smiled as we moved, to which she said, “I think we need the real McCoy here, Sam.” 

“Uh...what about the girl at the Church, uh, Tammy?” 

“That could work, let’s go.” I said and grabbed the keys to the car. Sam tracked her down to the church’s food bank. We went up to her and I introduced myself. Sam then tried to gently ask her for the blood, but once she heard the word, she started waving off fear and anger. 

“You need what?” She asked in a shrill voice. 

“Your blood.” Sam repeated. 

“Just a dab.” Jody said gently. 

“But...Pagans use blood. Are you pagans?”

“What? Pagan?” I asked, “No, look, it's for a weapon that-“ 

“You are in a House of God. Your psycho rituals aren't gonna fly here.” She interrupted with a wave of anger. I proceeded to give her my own personal brand of bitch face. 

“Okay, we don’t have time for this.” Sam said. 

“I don't have time for devil worshippers! I'm calling the cops.” 

Before I knew it, Jody punched Tammy right in the nose. “I am the cops.” 

I smirked a little then pulled out a bandana I had in my pocket. “What the fudge, lady?!” She shouted as she tried to stop her nose from bleeding. 

“Wipe your nose, honey.” I said as I wiped some of it away from her face. Soon enough, we had our weapons and we drove towards the outskirts of town. Jody guided us to the old farm. 

With flashlights, and weapons ready, we walked into an abandoned barn. “Jody.” Sam whispered, and motioned her to go one way, while I followed him in the other. 

We went into the main room of the barn as I used my senses to look for the missing. Then I felt it. I smiled a little when I sensed the smallest wave of Dean underneath us. “Sam.” I whispered and we looked down. There was a wood panel there hiding a trap door. 

I banged against it while Sam called out to Jody. “Sam?” She called back. 

“Dean! We're here! We're gonna get you out!” 

“Jody We found it.” I said as she came in. “Dean?!” I shouted when I sensed him a little more through the metal door. 

“Sammy? Sammy! Sammy!” Waves of relief came from both of us as we heard his voice. 

“Hey, Dean, we're here. We're gonna get you out.” Sam told him. Just as we tried to pry it open, I sensed a new more powerful presence. As I oooked up, Sam and I were sent flying and landed against the wall of the barn in an empty stable. 

I blacked out a little bit while I sensed Sam go completely unconscious. Jody then rushed up to us but was pulled away and slammed by the presence. A familiar voice spoke, “Now, now. Shh.” It was Bonnie. 

I looked up to see the woman hold Jody against one of the posts of the stall. Jody’s calm told me she was ready for anything, so I centered myself as I watched her say, “Really? This is how a goddess acts?” 

“What?” Vesta said with waves of confusion and anger. 

“I'm sort of new to this, but, you know, a Roman deity burying people alive in a barn? Sort of pathetic, don't you think?” 

She then punched Jody, and I winced. I had enough and stood. I bolted towards them. But the goddess was too fast. She raised her hand and flung me to the wall. This time I hit the back of my head against it, and crumpled to the ground groaning in pain. 

“It only got pathetic when I started having to do it myself.” The goddess told her. “Because of that hippie from Bethlehem—before him, they practically threw virgins at me. And now-“

“They let your fire go out. They forgot about you. Yeah, I know. Sucks to be Lindsay Lohan, doesn't it?” Vesta then punched Jody again. 

I looked up, with pounding in my head, to see Jody disorientated on the ground. The goddess continued her speech as she walked up to a tarp covered table. “Actually, I figured if you can't beat them, join them. That's right.” She looked down at Jody. “I adapted!” She threw off the tarp to reveal a bloody slaughter table. “Now I chew on the cud of prayer. Heck...I even got a sweater set.” 

I tried to move, but the pounding was too much. Then Vesta picked up Jody like a rag doll and threw her into the table and began strapping her down. “They used to beg to stay pure for me. And now I have to drag them kicking and screaming. And they're not even real virgins. They're born-again. You want to talk about pathetic?” 

“Yeah. You’re a real charity case.” Jody quipped. 

“Oh, no, _sweetheart_. This isn't charity. I take what I deserve.” I then noticed Sam start to move, he was coming too. I staggered up once again. “When those trollops are about to die soaked in their juicy fear, I...eat...their...livers! Because that's the only part of them still working to purify the body that they've trashed. Now, normally, I like them weaker, but let's just call this a hunter's exception, shall we?” 

I moved a little closer, using the speech to get ready to tackle her. Jody made eye contact with me as she said bravely, “sure.” 

She pulled out the stake and tried to stab the goddess, but she was too quick. She took it from Jody’s hands and held it over her. “This is how a goddess acts!” 

I tackled the goddess’s back. Unfortunately, Vesta stabbed Jody in the shoulder under my weight before she flung me off like a bug. I was thrown back into the stall and on my back. The pounding in my head only got worse. 

Sam then got between her and I quickly. She was too fast for him too and got him on the ground swiftly. I narrowly sat up to see her hold a small bit of flame on her finger to his stomach. “What's wrong with you?” She asked him after a wave of confusion and horror. 

“What?” Sam asked her with waves of confusion. 

“Your liver. It's-it's no good. Dear boy, you're all duct tape and safety pins inside. How are you alive?” 

Before anyone could answer, Jody was behind Vesta with the skate and tabbed her through from behind. I covered my eyes as bright blue light filled the room. Once it was gone, I looked up to see Jody holding her bloody shoulder. Sam and I both staggered to our feet. The trap door then finally opened. 

We all turned to see Dean popping his head up and asked looking around, “What did I miss?” 

I turned to Jody. “Oh my god, Jody, I’m so sorry.” I stumbled a bit, Sam narrowly catching me. 

“Honey, it’s okay. Let’s just get these people out of here and check you out okay.” Jody said firmly.

“Yeah.” I said squeezing my eyes shut. “Yeah, it’s not like it’s my fault you got stabbed.” 

She chuckled a little bit and winced as Dean helped get the other victims out of the trap door. We were all waving off relief. The four of us then walked them all to the cars, but I was starting to grow more worried about Jody. 

The bleeding wasn’t stopping. Before we were about to call the paramedics via Jody’s police radio she grabbed before we left, I took her aside. “Let me see your wound.” I said to her. 

“Honey, it’s okay.” 

“No it’s not.” I replied. Sam then came up with the first aid kit, but I knew something better. I despite the pounding of my head, I moved her hand from over the wound as well as the bloody rag. She let me, with a wave of curiosity and pain as I pressed my own hand to it. Focusing, with great difficulty due to my head, I willed the flesh to heal as much as I could. 

In seconds, her pain began to fade and she looked at me with wonder. Sam watched over us and soon enough Dean came over. The bleeding wasn’t as bad any more once I pulled away, but I quickly grabbed some gauze knowing that it would still need stitches. “How did you do that?” 

Both Dean and Sam were surprised by this and a little concerned over me. I smiled a little though. “Well, I guess it’s time to tell you...uh, I’m part angel.” 

She raised her eyebrows and looked between the boys who both nodded yes. “Seriously?” She asked. 

“Yeah. I’ll explain later, but the bleeding was too much, so I healed it a little.” I told her. “You're still gonna be sore, and you’ll need stitches, but...won’t be as bad as it could of been.” 

Then the exhaustion hit me. I swayed a little before Sam caught me by the shoulders, and Jody grabbed my arm as my knees started to buckle. “Okay, ESP.” Dean said, grabbing the radio and handing it to the Sheriff. “Enough of the healing, let’s get you checked out.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, mom,” I grumbled to him. 

…

Thankfully I wasn’t concussed, but Jody needed plenty of stitches. We got everyone home okay and went back to the motel. All four of us were exhausted and passed out once we got in. The next morning, I was still feeling pretty sore, and Jody was wearing a sling. I did explain to her my abilities and why I kept them from her. She understood and took it pretty well, just needed some time to adjust. 

Despite the injury, she insisted on grabbing her own bag and threw it on her good shoulder. “Heading out?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah. I'd tell you boys to stay out of trouble, but what's the point?” We all smiled. Then Sam tried to gently hug her, but accidentally squeezed her bad shoulder. 

Still she took it and Dean hugged her, “Thanks for bailing me out.” 

“Oh, what can I say? I'm getting the hang of this.” She then turned to me. 

“Again, I’m really sorry. For not telling you, and well—the stake.” I said as I gently took her hand instead of hugging her. 

She smiled and squeezed my hand tightly. “It’s okay. Really. Don’t beat yourself up about it.” 

I smiled back and nodded. “Drive safe.” She let go of me and went towards the door. 

Before either Winchester could open it for her, she said, “Don't get the door for me or anything.” I chuckled. 

Then Sam sighed heavily and sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s up?” Dean asked. 

“What if there is something wrong with me. Something...really wrong?” Sam asked with worry and anxiety wafting off him. 

I looked down at him worried. “You're just crapped out, man. You need some rest.” 

“Oh, it's more than that. I mean, Vesta said I was practically dead inside.” That made my stomach churn as I sat down next to Sam and rubbed his back. 

“Oh, and she's in the circle of trust now?” Dean said. 

“Why would she lie?” I asked him with a raised eyebrow. 

“It's probably the trials, okay? Probably some sort of a, you know, after effect. It's not like you're bouncing back from the flu here. I mean, you were glowing with freaking trial juice.” 

“I don’t know.” Sam said, and I sighed myself. I was worried too. 

“Well, what else would it be?” 

“Why does it have to be something else? It's always something else. We're always scraping to find some other explanation when maybe it is...just me.” A wave of defeat came from him. 

“Sam.” I practically whispered, beyond worried. 

“Oh, come on, Sam.” Dean said, hiding his own worry. 

“I'm a mess, Dean. You know it. And sometimes, I feel like maybe I'm never gonna actually be alright.” 

“You will. Alright, 'cause whatever it is, we'll figure it out.” Dean said. 

I moved the hair out of Sam’s face as I sat close to him. “Or this is...just the way I am.” Dean closed his eyes in response. Exasperation and resignation came from him now. 

“Sam, this doesn’t have to be. We’ll figure it out.” I said as Dean sat on the opposite bed. 

“I can't.” He said and I looked at him. “I can't let you put this on yourself. Listen to me. It's not you, Sam.” 

Then that strong and gentle energy came into the room. I looked up to Sam to see his eyes glowing blue and he sat stiffly. “I wouldn’t do that, Dean.” 

I sat away from him. “What the hell?!” I looked between him and Dean. “Who are you?” 

“Relax. Relax.” Dean said. 

“Relax? Sam’s being possessed by an angel?!” I said finally figuring out the truth. 

“Stop! Alright!” Dean said and sighed. “Now you show yourself to her?” 

“You gave me no choice.” The angel said. 

It dawned on me in horror. “ _This_ is your big secret. What Sam doesn’t know? What the hell did you do Dean?” 

“I had no choice.” 

“No choice?! What the hell does that mean?” 

“It means,” the angel said in a gentle voice, “that it was either this...or Sam would die.” 

My anger was still there, but it was overcome by fear. “What?” I asked in a small voice. 

“Sam was dying in that hospital remember? And...Ezekiel came to save him.” Dean told me. 

“Yeah…”

“Well...it’s him.” 

“Like that is supposed to make this better. He would have never agreed to this. How did you—oh my god, you tricked him? Didn’t you?” 

Shame and guilt came from Dean. “He had no other choice.” I whipped my head at the angel. “I'm the only thing keeping Sam alive right now.” He told me firmly. 

“Oh my god...I can’t lie to him. I _won’t_.” 

“He deserves to know.” Dean said. 

“Your brother is not ready. If he ejects me, he will not make it.” My heart sunk to my shoes. 

“Damn it, Zeke! How much longer we got to keep playing this?” 

“Not much longer, I promise you that.” His eyes glowed again and the energy faded. Sam’s body returned to staring at the floor. 

“What?” Sam asked. I sat there frozen. He didn’t seem to notice that I was a little bit more away from him now. He waved off confusion while Dean wafted off guilt. 

“What?” He replied. 

“What? What-what's not me?” 

I gave Dean a look. I was terrified at that moment. I wanted nothing more than to tell Sam, but now...now I was looped into what Dean had been lying about, so I kept my mouth shut as he said, “Nothing. I just...I-I meant that...if there is something wrong...it's not your fault. We'll deal with it. But you got to have a little faith, Sammy.” 

Dean then went off to grab his things, his back to us now. I looked at Sam a moment and brushed the hair out of his face again. “Come on. Let’s go home.” 

We got up and grabbed our things. I stayed quiet as we packed the Impala up. I knew one thing. We had to get that angel the hell out of Sam. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the reader finally knows Dean’s secret. Up next, Holy Terror!


	9. Holy Terror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My boyfriend is being possessed by an angel, and now I just find out?! Life only gets crazier as we twke on a case involving two factions of angels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this note just days after the finale. I have a lot of feelings. I’m going to miss the show, but I just want to say how grateful I am for the show and everyone I’ve met through it. I know that the show has ended, but the fandom will never end. I have ideas on how I want to include it into this fic, but that’s for another time.  
> For now, enjoy this new chapter of simpler times for the Winchesters.—Indigo

_“Being against evil doesn’t make you good.”_ —Ernest Hemingway

  
  


I was in my room reading a book when Sam strolled in, leaving the door ajar. “Hey.” He said. 

I smiled, “hey.” I scooted a little more on my side so he could sit with me. When he did, I leaned my head against his shoulder. “How are you doing?” I asked. 

He sighed. “I’m...I’m okay.” 

I looked up at him, he was waving off worry still. “You can talk to me. What’s bothering you?” 

He smiled gently and pressed a kiss to my forehead while wrapping an arm around me. “It’s nothing.” 

I curled a little bit more into him and I said, “it’s not nothing to me.” Before anything else could be said, I sensed Dean coming down the hall. I looked up to see him knock on the door. “Come in, Dean.” 

“I’m not interrupting anything?” He asked with a smirk. 

We both gave him a look, but I was smirking a little. “No. What’s up?” 

“We got a case. Little Roadhouse in Wyoming. Angel on angel action.” He was waving off a little bit of concern. 

“How many?” 

“Too many. Let’s go.” He left the room, and I got up to hit the road. As I moved to grab my bag, I sensed something new as Sam stood up. It was Ezekiel. 

I turned to see Sam’s body stand there stiffly, the strong energy wafting out of the angel. I glared at him, “I don’t want to talk to you.” 

He said my name gently, as if he was my friend or something. “Please. Can we speak?” 

I turned my back and stayed silent. I packed up my clothes as I sensed Ezekiel fade away and Sam was at the surface again. He gave me a kiss on the cheek before quietly heading towards his own room. 

Truth was, I wanted nothing to do with the angel, even though he was the only thing keeping Sam alive. I wanted nothing more than to tell Sam, but I had the feeling the angel listened in more than he would let on. Ezekiel would prevent me from doing so. 

I packed up and met the boys in the Impala. Soon enough, we were on the road. It was already after dark, so it seemed like we would be going all night, probably not reaching the place until mid-morning or so. We were all talking, figuring out the logistics of getting there and when Dean would let Sam or me take a turn in driving. 

I was ready to curl up in the back seat to get some rest when Ezekiel decided to make an appearance. I blatantly ignored the angel, staring out the window at the signs. Dean spoke with him a little bit, I perked up when he asked, “So, he’s better?” 

“Yes. Sam is much improved. It shouldn't be much longer now.” 

Dean and I exchanged a look through the rear view mirror. “Okay, you know you said the same thing to me last week, right?” 

“As I told you when we met—this will take time.” 

Impatience and frustration came from the two of us. Dean then sighed and said, “Okay, well, go then. Heal. I'd like my brother back, please.” 

Still the angel wouldn’t go. He gave off waves of discomfort. “I must say, Dean, I'm very uncomfortable with this whole trip. Investigating crimes involving angels—or anything involving angels—puts me, and therefore, Sam, at risk.” 

“Well, family business, Zeke. Okay? If we ignore this, Sam's gonna think that something fishy's going on.” 

Ezekiel looked back at me a moment, a bit of wonder and disappointment came from him, then said to Dean, “Then I trust you will be discreet.” 

“Wait, if you know where we're going, that means you've been listening in. Are you-are you hearing everything between me and Sam?” I glared at the angel as well, wondering if he would tell us exactly how much he knows. 

“No.” That was a truth, “Just a word here and there.” That was a vague lie. _He knows more than he wants us to believe,_ I thought to myself. “I have better things to do with my time than eavesdrop, like heal your brother.” 

“Okay, 'cause here's the thing—“ 

Ezekiel faded once again and Sam said, picking up in the middle of a thought, “—you know, I was gonna say, it seems like it's getting really quiet out there, you know? Not a peep from the angels, even Buddy Boyle goes off the air and stops recruiting for them.” 

“Obviously calm before the storm.” Dean replied. 

“Yeah, maybe.” Sam said with a wave of disbelief.

I decided to get comfortable, to try and get some sleep, letting the brothers talk. Then I sensed a wave of confusion from Sam as he stared out. “What?” Dean asked when he noticed. 

“That sign said ‘Fort Collins, 50 miles.’”

“So?” Dean asked. I wanted to say something. Have Sam figure it out. 

“So, last time I looked, like, 12 seconds ago, uh, Fort Collins was a _hundred_ miles.” 

Dean wasn’t so quick with his explanations. “Well, hey, man, ever since that goddess got her hooks into you, you know—“ 

A wave of frustration came from Sam, “No, it's more than Vesta! I mean, this kind of thing's been happening to me. Like, like, there are chunks of time just...missing. Like there are times when I'm...not here.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows. Still Dean made up excuses. “Well, like I’ve said-“ 

“Yes, the trials. I know. I heard you. I heard you when you said it the last week and the week before that and the week before that.” 

“Yeah, because...damn straight the trials.” I glared at Dean a moment through the mirror and turned away. “They whacked you, man. You're not up to warp speed yet, okay? But you will be.” He smiled before he said, “Would I lie?” 

Anger flooded through me at the words. He had been lying and dancing around the truth for weeks now, and I was sick of it. But Ezekiel practically had Sam hostage and was calling the shots. I knew I had to sit tight before I could find an opening to tell Sam. The angel had to go, and I was determined to make that happen, even if I knew Sam and Dean’s relationship would be at stake. Hell mine with Sam was too. But hopefully we could work it out before someone got hurt. 

…

The next morning, we got to the roadhouse in our Fed suits. We got out of the car and immediately showed one of the uniformed officers our badges. But this time around, instead of the usual surprise we would get, the cop seemed indifferent as he said, “Ah, one of your guys is here already.” 

We all exchanged a look between the three of us as we pocketed the badges and went inside. Low and behold in the rundown and trashed road bar, Castiel was standing near the corner, in a suit, speaking with another officer. I fought a grin as we approached him briskly. Sam was happy to see him to, but Dean was filled with surprise. 

“Ah, my colleagues.” He said as he excused himself away from the cop. 

Sam then said, “Agent.” 

Cas just waved off joy as he greeted back, “Agent.” 

Dean however was waving off shock and protectiveness. “Cas. What the hell are you doing?” 

“Um,” he lowered his voice, “I still have that badge you gave me.” 

“Yeah. Uh, what the hell are you doing?” 

“The murders were all over the news. I thought I might be of help.” 

“Yeah, but Cas, you know that this is an angel situation, right? I mean, you left that night because angels were on your ass.” 

“Which, by the way, would it kill you to call?” I asked, despite my smile there was concern in my voice. 

Before Cas could answer, Dean interjected, “Yeah, and you were living the life, you know? Early retirement, working your way up the Gas-n-Sip ladder.” 

“If angels are slaughtering one another, I have to do what I can to help. It is a risk we should be willing to take, don't you think?” As he asked, a wave of determination came from him. Sam shrugged while I nodded. “Hey. Cas is back in town.” 

I fought a chuckle, while Dean was just dumbfounded. “Seriously, did you-“ He turned to Sam and I, “did he just say that?” 

I rolled my eyes as Cas took the file he was holding and showed it to us. There were several crime scene photos and the smile left my face. “These angels, uh, they were butchered. Much more violence than was required.” 

“Definitely took more than one or two killers to pull this off.” Sam said. 

“Hit squad?” Dean asked. 

“Bartholomew's people?” I asked with concern. 

“Well, Bartholomew has a faction we know about, but this could be somebody else entirely we don't know.” 

“Well, whoever it is...We'll find them.” Cas said with another wave of determination then walked off.

“ _We’ll_ find them. That’s great.” Dean said sarcastically. Then I looked up when I sensed Ezekiel once again. He stared down at the two of us with his own personal brand of bitch face. Dean slinked off in a bit of shame. 

I glared back, “what? He twists your wings the wrong way or something?” I walked off as I sensed him fade again and Sam returned. _This is going to be a long ass case,_ I thought to myself. 

We worked at the roadhouse for a while, and gathered as much as we needed. Still there were no signs of the angels, and the trail had gone cold. So that night the four of us sat down at a bar for some beers. 

It was actually nice to forget about our problems sitting together for a while. Cas was waving off joy and excitement at being with us once again. And I was just as happy to see him. 

“It is so good being together again.” Cas said, “You know, this is my first beer as a human. I hope it's okay, me joining you?” 

I smiled, “of course.” 

“Why wouldn't it be okay?’ Sam asked. 

A small wave of panic told me that the answer to that question would lead to more lies from Dean, so he steered the conversation another direction. “You know, Cas, are you sure you're ready to jump back into all this? I mean, it seemed to me like you'd actually found some peace.” 

“Hey, you once told me that you don't choose what you do. It chooses you.” 

I looked up at Dean to see his reaction to his own words, “huh?”

“I’m a part of this.” Cas said and clinked his beer bottle with Dean’s. “Like it or not.” 

“Alright, well, then, in that case,” Sam said, “we have to figure out, uh, who are we up against, what do they want, and how do we stop them.” 

“Well, Bartholomew wants to reverse Metatron's spell. Presumably to-to retake Heaven once his following is large enough. That's according to April.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows. “April?” 

“The reaper you banged.” Dean said. 

“Yeah, and you stabbed.” 

“Yeah.” I sipped on my beer once again at the awkward silence. “She was hot.” 

“So hot.” Cas said. I chuckled a little at their musings. “And very nice.” 

“Mm.” 

“Up to the point she started torturing me.” 

“Yeah. Well, not every hookup's perfect.” Dean said then patted Castiel’s arm. 

Sam and I exchanged a smile, both of us loving seeing them talk like the old friends they were. Then he said, “Alright. I'm gonna get us another round.” 

“Nah. I’ll get it.” Cas said then hopped off the barstool he was sitting on. He stepped away, then returned to finish off the last of his beer. “You know, I've never done this before.” 

I laughed as he left and Dean sighed. “One beer, he’s hammered.” 

“Go figure man.” I replied then dropped my smile. Ezekiel came to the surface once again. 

“Oh, boy.” Dean said with a wave of exasperation. 

“Well? What are you going to do about this?” He asked with waves of anger and fear. 

“About Cas?” I asked. 

“He is a beacon, Dean, pulling every angel for miles down on our heads.” 

“Alright, you know what, Zeke? Level with me. What is it that you're so afraid of?” Dean finally asked. 

I watched the angel, wanting very much to know the same thing. “I told you. When I chose to answer your prayers and heal Sam, I chose sides. That means I'm not in good standing with _certain_ angels.” There was a vagueness in his answer that I didn’t like. 

“Okay, well, you know what?” Dean asked, “Cas isn't in good standing with any angel, all right? But here he is, ass on the line, fighting the fight.” 

“So tell us, what makes you so special?” I asked with bite in my voice. 

Before Ezekiel could answer, Cas returned with four beers. “Here we go. Four brewskies.” I turned away a little and drank the last of my current bottle, trying to hide my angered expression. 

Ezekiel was waving off anger as he said, “I'm going to get something out of the car.” He stalked off and I contemplated following him. I decided against it hoping he would calm down and return with Sam soon enough. 

“Is something wrong?” Castiel asked. 

I wanted to say something, but Dean said, “No. Everything’s fine.” 

I cleared my throat a little, “You know what? I’m going to the ladies room.” I stepped away so Dean could speak with Cas. I hated myself for letting Dean pull me into the web of lies he caught himself in, but I knew that it wasn’t entirely his choice. It only spurred me on more to get Ezekiel the hell out of Sam. 

After using the the ladies room and clearing my head a little, I returned to the table to see Sam sitting there. I smiled seeing the three of them talking and enjoying themselves, despite the disappointment coming from Cas. Still I sat with them and enjoyed the beer and some bar food. 

At the end of the night, when we were gearing to go back to the motel and off to the bunker the next morning, I was surprised to hear that Cas would be parting from us. “Really? Are you sure you want to handle this?” I asked him. 

Cas smiled sadly but nodded, “Yes, I think it would be best.” 

I sighed but gave him a hug. “You call us. Even if it’s just a whiff of trouble. Got it?” I asked as I pulled back. 

“Of course.” Cas promised. As we left the parking lot of the bar, I had a bad feeling that Dean told Cas to leave again because of Ezekiel. So I sat quietly worried for the most part. 

That night, in my dreams, the strange man appeared again. This time I had enough of it. “Who are you?” I asked him the thousandth time. “Why won’t you tell me?” 

He gave off a little wave of fear. He looked off into the view in front of us. We were sitting on a bench on top of a cliff overlooking the sea. “Little one...” He said chidingly. 

“Please. I’m tired of being lied to. And I’m tired of not knowing.” It was true. As I learned more about the man in the dreams, I had grown to like him. He was sweet and strong, and had a bit of a sense of humor. He seemed like a good friend and confidant. I had only wished to know more. 

He looked at me with soft eyes. “I don’t wish to lie...But. My past...it is not one of honorable choices.” 

“So…” I said as I thought about his words. “You have a shady past?” 

“I suppose yes. Once you learn who I am...you may not wish to have me around anymore.” 

“Well...try me. When I’m here...it’s a break for me. And I see you as...a friend I guess. I don’t care about past mistakes. You don’t even have to tell me. All I’m asking is your name.” 

He sighed, then softly smiled. “Gadreel. My name is Gadreel.” 

I smiled a little, “see? It wasn’t so hard. It’s a pleasure to meet you Gadreel.” 

…

When we got back home, Sam and I both got to work on trying to find where the angels went. The both of us filled with worry over Castiel. In the afternoon after we got back, we were working at the map table in the war room on our respective laptops. 

Dean then came in. “Any word from Cas?” Sam asked him. 

A wave of guilt came from Dean as I kept my eyes on my screen. “Nothing yet.” 

“And we're not...worried about him, that he just took off like that again? I mean, it's not like he does this kind of stuff alone.” 

“It's the way he wanted it, honestly.” Sam and I both looked up at him unconvinced by his words. “Hey, look, man, he's been all over the map since he got his wings clipped.” I scoffed at that. Then he asked, “What do you got?” Dean dragged a chair over and sat down next to Sam to take a look. “Obituaries. That one of the bikers?” 

Sam had sent me the link before, so I pulled it up on my screen to take a look. “Yeah. His name was Red Dawg.” Sam told him. 

“Heh. Of course it was.” Dean said with a wave of amusement. 

“It’s not what you think.” I told him, “Look, he's a family guy. Big in the PTA, he played Santa at Christmas parties.” 

“So, what? Just one day, he up and joined a biker gang?” 

“No, he did that years ago.” Sam said, “Get this. This is weird. Look.” I closed my laptop and went around the table to take a look at his screen from over their shoulders. “These are all the victims, right? They were all _baptized_ together.” 

“Baptized?” Dean asked with a wave of curiosity. 

“Yeah. They were a born-again biker gang.” 

“Well, that is not something you hear every day.” 

I chuckled, “No, it’s not.” 

Then a wave of realization came from Dean, “Wait, make that bigger.” He pointed at a picture and Sam zoomed in at the biker logo on a jacket of one of them. “‘Boyle’s Boys?’” 

“Boyle, as in reverend Buddy Boyle?” I asked. 

Sam typed some more and looked up the biker’s family. “Listen to this.” He said, “Red Dawg's widow said he was always religious, but a week before he died, he came home from a prayer meeting and was a changed man filled with _divine_ glory.” 

“So, Boyle's at it again. Selling folks on being meat suits for angels.” Dean said. 

“Just what—talking to smaller groups now?” 

“I don't know. Maybe, uh, softening up thousands at a time, he wasn't able to control what angels got let in. This way, Bartholomew's followers can jump in just as soon as Boyle does his thing.” 

“So, Red Dawg and his guys were _Bartholomew_ people?” I asked. 

“Yeah, and they got slaughtered. Which means that this new group is even worse.” There was a beat before he said, “Haven't I always said that angels are dicks?” 

We all chuckled a bit at that, “yeah, and I’m unfortunately related to ‘em.” I said then went back to work on my laptop. The three of us worked well into the day but hadn’t found much. Right before dinner, though, I got a phone call from someone I had been trying to reach for days. 

I stepped out and went to my room as soon as I heard her voice, “Little bird?” She said. 

“Hey, Josephine. It’s good to hear from you.” 

“Of course. What’s going on?” 

“Well,” I said with a sigh, “how are you guys? It’s crazy out there with all the angels, you guys okay?” 

“Yes. We have been in hiding, away from cellular service. I had to get more food so I went into town and saw your calls. Is everything alright?” 

I took a deep breath. “Not really.” I said quietly. “I'm sorry I haven’t called sooner, but I’m glad you guys are okay. I called for two things. The first is to warn you. An angel named Bartholomew has been putting together a faction. He’s killing angels that won’t join him.” 

“We know. We’ve been staying away. Being careful.” 

“Good. Do you know anything about him?” 

“Only that he’s dangerous, and fighting with other factions. We don’t know much else.” 

I nodded. “Okay. And second...do you know if there is a way to expel an angel from their vessel?” 

“What? Well...the only way I know is if the vessel themselves does it. Why do you ask?” 

I wanted to tell her about Ezekiel, but I felt it was too soon. I needed to be careful about this. “With all of the angels running around, looking for vessels, I figured there might be some unwilling ones. You never know. Is there a way?” 

“I don’t know any other way. I’m sorry.” 

“No it’s Okay. Thank you.” 

“Are you sure there’s nothing else wrong?” 

“Yeah. But...keep your ears on. I might need help in the next few days, with the angels. I have a feeling something’s coming.” 

“Of course. All you have to do is pray to Chadwick or Sandy. We’ll be there as soon as we can, but I haven’t foreseen anything. I don’t think you have anything to worry about for a while.” 

I smiled at that. “Thank you.” 

…

The next day, I was working with Kevin on the translations with Dean in front of us at his laptop. “Dean, there may be nothing in here.” Kevin told him. “Crowley said the spell that cast down the angels was irreversible.” 

“Yeah, well, screw Crowley. Why would you think that anything he says is true?” 

I sighed at that. Tired of the same argument. Kevin then said, “This part is nearly indecipherable. Almost like, when Metatron wrote it down, he wanted to keep the words hidden, even from Prophets.” 

“Well the prick knows how to cover his tracks.” I grumbled. 

Then Sam entered, “hey.” 

“Hey. Check this out. Another angel attack.” Dean said. 

“What? Where?” I looked up at that. 

“Utah.” Dean said and handed the laptop to Sam, “A, uh, college Bible-study group and their, uh, their guest speaker—some top-shelf church lady. Insides scorched out, kids' eyes were missing, _but_ , not the church lady's.” 

“So she was an angel, too?” I asked. 

“Sounds like. Uh, and she sang soprano for the, uh, Melody Ministry Glee Club?” 

“Okay?” 

“The club goes to its gigs on a bus, so when I checked with the Wyoming cops, they said that a witness saw the same bus leaving the biker bar not long before the bodies were found.” 

“So, church-lady angel was at _both_ killings?” I asked. 

“I'm guessing that she and whoever she's running with killed Bartholomew's bikers at the bar and then Bart's boys hit her back.” 

“When she was recruiting those students to be vessels.” He sighed as I realized it too, and looked away. “Wow. It’s a bunch of kids.” 

Dean turned to Kevin, with a new wave of urgency. “Kevin. Clock’s tickin’.” 

“By the way, I got a hold of Josephine.” I told them. 

“They okay?” Sam asked. 

I nodded. “Yeah. They’ve been hidden for a while, staying out of it.” 

“Anything about Bart?” Dean asked. 

I shook my head. “They know just as much as we do. Dangerous. But they have our backs if the time comes.” 

“We can trust them right?” 

I paused a moment, “yeah. Once upon a time, their _only_ loyalty was to Gabriel, and they swore to protect me...yeah, we can trust them.”

…

After working for hours on the translations, we seemed to hit a dead end. Kevin got up to make a sandwich, while I intended to check in with Sam. But I found that he wasn’t home. Dean was starting to worry as well when he found me looking for him. We ended up at the kitchen to talk with Kevin. “Hey. You seen Sam?” I asked. 

“He went out.” 

“Where?” Dean asked. 

“I don't know. You notice he's doing that a lot?” 

“Yeah.” He replied with a new wave of worry. Kevin then went off to eat as Dean’s cell phones rang. “Yeah.” He answered on speaker. 

“Dean,” It was Cas, “I don't have a lot of time, so listen. The leader of the opposition is an angel named Malachi.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“He had me. I, uh, I was tortured. But I got away.” 

“How?” I asked panicked. 

“I...I did what I had to. I became what they've become. A barbarian.” 

Worry came over Dean and I, “What are you—Cas, where are you?” 

“It's better I stay away. They're gonna want me even more now. But I'm gonna be alright. I...I got my Grace back. Well, not _mine_ per se, but it'll do.” 

My eyes widened at that. “Wait, you’re-your’re _back_?” Dean asked. “You got your mojo?” 

“I'm not sure. But I am an angel.” 

“And you’re okay with that?” I asked him. 

“If we're going to war, I need to be ready.” 

In the pause between all of us, I let out a shaky breath. “Cas.” Dean said. 

“Dean. There’s more.” 

“What?” 

“Didn't you say Sam was healed by an angel named Ezekiel?” 

“Uh...Yeah, why?” 

“Ezekiel is dead.” My heart dropped at Castiel’s words. 

“What?” We both asked, fear making my blood run cold. 

“He died when the angels fell.” I swayed a little at the words. Cas hung up with Dean and he grabbed me by the shoulders. 

“Hey. Hey!” I looked him in the eye. “We’re gonna fix this. Okay. I’m gonna fix this. Come on.” I nodded, trying to get my heart to calm down. 

We rushed into the library looking for Kevin, who was dozing over the book he was reading. “I need a spell. ASAP.” Dean said, waking him. 

“Everyone always needs a spell, and it's always ASAP.” 

Urgency waved off Dean, “Alright, listen to me. An angel can't be expelled by another human. Okay, only by the host, right? But, what if there was a way to power down the angel, so that it wasn't in charge for a few seconds?” 

“What?” 

“For instance, if-if hypothetically, I wanted to speak with the vessel but not have the squatter listen in.” 

“Why?” 

“Why? Kevin, we've got tons of possessed humans out there. You with me? And when the angels kill each other off, the humans are taking it in the teeth. So what if I wanted to clue the human in so that he, or she, could spit the angel out? That would be a good thing, right?” 

“Uh...yeah?” 

“Okay. So, hit the tablet. Let's go!” Dean turned and began to walk away. 

“Now?” 

“Yesterday, Cinderella!” He shouted back. 

“Just see what you can find okay?” I asked then followed Dean out. “Dean.” I said once we reached the hallway. I could sense the urgency and the anxiety coming off him in intense waves. “We’re gonna get him back. We can do this.” 

A wave of determination came from him. “We will.” After an hour or so, Kevin found what we needed. We went into one of the storerooms and painted on several sigils all over the walls and door. 

Once we were finished, we left and walked into the war room. Dean said, “Alright, so this masterpiece we just painted—it's gonna work, right?” 

“The sigils are supposed to briefly hobble the possessing angel. If the info's correct.” 

“Wait, what?” I asked. 

“I only had time to get a little from the tablet. The rest came from an old Men of Letters book. As soon as your blood touches the ignition sigil, the spell kicks in.” A wave of confusion and concern came from him. “Dean, what’s going on?” 

Dean and I exchanged a look. “I told you.” He said. 

“You told me theoretically. Dean, we just painted sigils in the storeroom. What the hell?” 

“Kid’s got a point.” I said. 

But Dean sent out a wave of protectiveness and said, “You're gonna have to trust me, okay, trust that I told you everything that I can for now. Can you do that?” 

“I always trust you.” Kevin said, Dean and I nodded in response, “and I always end up screwed.” 

“Oh, come on. Always? Not _always_.” 

Kevin and I shared a look, then he left the room towards the library. I turned to the elder brother. “Okay. _You_ have to do this. I can’t be in there when it happens.” 

“What? Why?” 

“You know why. Angel banishing spells throws me on my ass, what do you think this is gonna do. I’m trusting you. I’ll wait with Kevin okay?” With a shared nod, he left the room, hoping with all I had that this would work. 

I walked into the library and sat down in front of Kevin. “So you're not gonna tell me what’s going on?” 

I smirked a little, “sorry. I can’t. It’s Dean’s mess, _he_ needs to explain it.” 

“Then why are we the one’s cleaning it up?” 

We shared a chuckle. “You're not wrong there. After this is over, I’ll get him to explain. I promise.” 

“You know, he basically only listens to you.” 

I rolled my eyes, “if he really did, we wouldn’t have to worry about cleaning up his mess. But...yeah. He has good intentions, and I think he’s doing this to protect you, to protect us.” 

“From what?” 

“Who knows.” I chuckled, “I read _emotions_ not minds.” We fell into a bit of quiet working some more. I got up to fetch a book when I heard Kevin say, “Hey Sam.” 

I looked up to see him. Our eyes met and I knew it wasn’t Sam. It was the angel. I wondered what he was thinking as I sensed shame and determination come from him. Kevin didn’t catch on. “Hey, do you notice anything a little bit off about Dean lately? Between you and me, I'm a little bit worried about him.” 

“Don't worry about Dean.” The angel said then moved quickly towards Kevin. “Dean will be fine.” 

“Get away from him!” I shouted but was punched back by the angel and pinned to the wall. I watched in horror as the angel pressed his palm against Kevin’s forehead and light flooded through his eyes. 

I squeezed them shut as Dean came in shouting. “No! No! No! No! Kevin?!” I wanted to throw up as I stayed pinned to the wall, and Dean was pinned to the opposite pillar. Kevin’s body crumbled to the ground. 

“No.” I said tears coming down my face. I began fighting the invisible force as the angel looked at his work. 

“Sam?” Dean said. 

“There is no more Sam.” 

“No!” I shouted as I fought to break free. The angel then looked at me with horror in his eyes. 

“But, I played him convincingly, I thought.” 

“How did you…” Dean said as he gasped in pain. 

“I heard you talk with Kevin Tran tonight.” The angel then grabbed a bag on the table and packed it up with the tablets. “Alter a sigil...even the slightest...Alter the spell.” He held his palm up to Dean with paint left on them. “Sorry about Kevin, but ultimately...it's for the best.” 

He turned to me with sorrow but determination in his eyes. “I did what I had to.” 

“You son of a bitch!” I finally broke free and hurled myself at him, but he immediately grabbed me and crushed me to his body to stop my attack. 

He pressed a finger to my forehead. “I’m sorry, little one.” He whispered before my body went limp and my mind drifted. I passed out when he gently put me on the floor.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...that happened. Up next, one of my favorite episodes, Road Trip.


	10. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is dead and Sam has been taken by the angel who’s possessing him. And that’s only the beginning of the iceberg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Here’s the latest chapter. Just letting you all know, that I may be taking a break from posting these next few days. I might not post again until Saturday or Sunday. I’m going through a lot mentally right now and I’m not sure how much I can transfer focus onto the fic. I appreciate your patience so much. For now, enjoy this chapter full of fun characters and drama!—Indigo

  
  


“ _At an early age I learned that people make mistakes, and you have to decide if their mistakes are bigger than your love for them.”_ —Angie Thomas 

  
  
  


You know that first few moments of waking up? You know, the ones where you don’t really remember anything and the world is your oyster. Sometimes, I wished that I could live in those sometimes. Especially on days where I want to forget what had happened before I went to sleep. That day was one of those days. 

I woke in my own bed. At first I thought it was strange that Sam wasn’t sleeping beside me, or that I was still fully clothed. Then it all rushed back to me. I bolted out of bed. Out of my room. I looked for Sam, hoping that somehow it all resolved it self. That he was still there. That he was still Sam. 

I ran to his room first to find it empty and undisturbed. Then I went to the kitchen. Only to find Dean. He was sitting at the table with a half of a bottle of whiskey in front of him. “Dean?” I whispered. Guilt, fear, and grief was coming from him as he looked up at me. 

I let out a shaky breath as it all hit me at once. Kevin was dead. Sam was gone. The man in my dreams turned out to be the angel that took them both from me. Grief and anger took hold in a single sob as I pressed a hand to my mouth. As my knees started to buckle, Dean caught me in his arms and I cried into his shoulder. 

I forgot how much time I held on to him. My friend. My brother. All I know, is that when the sobs ceased, he didn’t let go until I did. “I’m sorry, god I’m so sorry.” He said to me. 

I pulled back and looked up. His eyes were a little red and puffy and a single tear was left. He was crying too. “I know.” 

We both kept quiet. I was unsure what to say and overwhelmed by everything in front of me. Dean and I sat down at the table. He finished his glass of whiskey and told me that he had already prepped Kevin’s body to burn. Already built the pyer. He was only waiting for me to wake. 

“How long was I out?” I asked quietly, tears were still coming down my face. 

“Few hours.” 

A new surge of tears came again and I tried to wipe them away. “He was just a kid...I should have done something. I was right there.” My voice cracked as I fought the tears. Eventually I calmed down with Dean holding my hand. From the heavy grief that came from him, which wasn’t helping my own, I knew he needed it as much as I did. 

In silence, we took Kevin’s body out of the bunker and into the woods. It was surreal putting him on the stack of wood and watching Dean light it. The last hunter’s funeral I witnessed was Bobby’s. Watching the flames, new anger came in my grief. I was determined to get Sam back, even if it meant that it might kill me. 

After the body was burned and the last embers died out, Dean and I went back to the bunker. I mumbled something about making a call as I walked into the library, looking for my cell. Then I saw the room that was left undisturbed from when Kevin died. But I found it strange. One of the chairs was upturned and the tables were pulled back. Even some books from the surrounding shelves were on the floor. 

“Did you get into a fight?” I asked Dean as he walked in behind me. 

I turned and looked at him. “No.” The looked on his face told me everything. 

“Did I...did I do this?” 

He nodded. “When uh...when you broke free, it’s like you went all Carrie. It wasn’t until he…” he couldn’t say it. I sensed the guilt pour through him intensely. 

I let out another shaky breath, keeping myself from crying again. “I’m gonna...I’m gonna call Cas.” I said as I finally found my cell and left the room quickly. Thank goodness that he picked up on the second ring. “Cas?” 

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked as he heard my voice. 

“Something...something happened.” I fought tears, “Kevin’s...dead” 

“What happened? What about Dean and Sam?” 

“Dean and I are okay, but...Sam’s gone. He’s been taken.”

“What?” 

Then I sensed it, Dean’s pure anger and grief. Then I heard crashing from the other room. “Just come to the bunker as soon as you can.” I hung up without a goodbye as I ran into the room. “Dean!” I said as I watched him throw a chair across the library. He was breathing hard as the pure anger and despair was written on his face. 

As soon as our eyes met, the tears I had been fighting went down my face. I rushed to Dean and pulled him into an embrace. I had never sensed more fear and guilt from the man in all the time I knew him, and it was the only thing I could think to do at that moment. I had never been so afraid in my life for what would come next. 

…

  
The next morning, Dean was gearing up for a fight. We had every intention to find the angel, but I was worried for him. Thankfully, Cas had arrived. It was good to see him. I let him in through the iron door and whispered, “I’m worried about him Cas. About both of them.” 

Cas looked down at me with worry. He pressed a hand to my shoulder and said, “I’ll talk to him.” We walked into the library to see Dean loading up practically every weapon he owned into a duffle. “Dean.” Cas called out. 

He looked up with a small smile and said “Cas. Now, look at you, all suited up and back in the game.” I would have smiled too if I wasn’t so worried. Cas was wearing a suit, albeit without his tie, and a brand new trench coat. It was shorter and a different shade but it looked nice. It was a distraction for a moment, but I knew that I couldn’t dwell on it with Sam out there. 

“I, um...I came as soon as you called. I wa-“ Cas stopped talking when he saw the mess still in the library. All of the papers and books were still strewn on the floor. If I wasn’t such a hot mess myself I would have cleaned up already. Cas looked at me and I nodded towards the elder brother. “Dean, what happened? What's wrong?” 

Even though Dean was still wafting off grief and anger, he had kept a cold look to his face since his breakdown the night before, but when he looked into Cas’s eyes, his face melted into every emotion he had. “It’s time you tell him, Dean.” I said gently. He nodded in response and we all sat down at one of the tables. 

Dean told him everything. Some things I didn’t even know. It was like breaking a dam in him, every word flowed and came loose as he talked about it. Soon enough, his story was over, and I was explaining my part. “I didn’t find out until a few weeks ago. I wanted to tell him, but...the angel wouldn’t let us.” 

“Sammy was dying. What was I supposed to do?” Dean asked with desperation coming off him. 

“You let an angel possess him?” Castiel asked him for full clarification. 

“He said it was the only way, and I believed him. Now Sam's gone. Kevin's…” I let a few tears fall from my eyes as I grasped Dean’s hand. 

“Dean, I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, well…” he shook my hand loose and stood up, “Sorry don't pay the bills, does it? It sure as hell ain't gonna bring Kevin back. We got to find that son of a bitch.” 

“Dean. If the angel possessing Sam isn't Ezekiel, then who is it?” 

“A dead man walking.” Dean said with a new wave of determination. 

“What, you're gonna destroy him?” I asked, suddenly incredibly anger and protective. 

Dean avoided my eyes. “Damn right.” 

I stood up, “You kill an angel, it’s vessel dies too.” 

“Think I don't know that?” I turned away from him, trying to control my anger as I began to pace the room. “If I don't find Sam and that halo burns him out and I...God, I was so damn stupid.” 

_That’s for damned sure._ I thought I wanted to say it, but the guilt coming from Dean made those words die before I could even utter them. Cas then stood himself and said, “You were stupid for the right reasons.” 

“Yeah, like that matters.” 

“It does. Sometimes that's all that matters.” I looked at Cas, seeing the determination come from the angel. “Listen to me. Sam is strong. If he knew an angel was possessing him, he could fight. He could cast the angel out.” 

“I know he is, but is strong _enough?_ ” I asked. 

“Maybe.” Dean said, “But as far as I know, he's in the dark. I don't know how we clue him in.” 

A moment passed as Cas thought about it. “Do you remember Alfie?” 

“Samandriel, right? The angel we rescued?” I asked crossing my arms. 

Cas nodded, then Dean said, “The kid angel? Yeah. Why?” 

“Before he died, he told me the demons were able to dig into his mind, access his coding. We might be able to do that here. Might be able to-to bypass the angel and talk directly to Sam.” 

A small wave of hope came from Dean and I, “And you think that would work?” 

“I don’t know, but I think we should try.” 

“Okay. Uh, where do we start?” I asked. 

Cas then took us to the one demon we knew could tell us. Also the one we had complete access to. “Hello, boys. Darling.” Crowley said as we entered the dungeon. 

Dean then said, “Here's the deal—you're gonna tell us how to hack an angel, and I'm gonna give you some of the good stuff.” He held up a syringe of blood. “Human blood, fresh from the tap.” He said then patted his arm. “Word is you’re jonesing for it.” 

“Please. I’ll pass.” The demon said with a wave of smugness. 

“What do you want, then?” Cas asked. 

“Well, for starters...A massage. Between the sitting and the shackles, a body gets a little stiff.” 

“Yeah, I ain't rubbing you.” I said before he could take his pick. 

“God, no. Get Kevin. His tiny fists can really work wond-“ 

“Kevin is dead.” Cas said bluntly. I looked away from that, hearing the words were still harsh. 

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” 

Cas wasn’t having it, despite the words being genuine. “Don't pretend you care. You tried to kill him.” 

“I told him this was gonna happen. I was the only person who tried to warn him. I told him to run.” 

“From what?” Dean asked, anger coming from him now. 

“You.” I glared at the demon. “How many times am I gonna have to say this? People in your general vicinity don't have much in the way of a life-span.” 

“I’m still here.” I said with bite. 

“Just wait darling. You can hold your own I’ll give you that, but these Winchesters...their magnets for it. Now, I can't teach you how to crack open an angel. It's more...art than science. But I can do it for you. All I ask in return is a little field trip. Dying for some fresh air. Chains on, naturally.” 

“No.” I told him. 

“No? Of course not. Because if I'm plan ‘A,’ I'm sure you have a totally viable, much better plan ‘B.’” Dean and I then exchanged a look, desperation came from him. Cas then pulled us aside. 

“You can’t be considering this.” 

“With the chains on, he can't do anything.” Dean said. 

“It's Crowley. He can always do something.” 

They both looked at me and I said, “I don’t know.” 

“Looks like we need a tiebreaker. Go get Moose, squirrel.” The guilt and fear was evident on both of our faces now. Unfortunately, Crowley saw it. “Unless...Unless, of course, you can't. That's why you're here, isn't it? The poor giant baby's in trouble again, isn't he?” 

“Are you done?” I asked angrily, raising my voice at the demon. 

“Depends. Do we have a deal?” 

After a moment, I shared a look with Dean, knowing that he knew as much as I did that this was the only way, despite him uh I hated it. My determination to find Sam made me say, “Yes.” 

“Excellent. When do we leave?” 

“Soon as we can scrounge up a ride.” Dean replied. 

I sighed, “yeah, my dodge isn’t up for a road trip.” Dean was in the middle of working on her for me in the garage. 

“Well, I have a vehicle.” Cas said. “It stopped a few miles from here, inexplicably.” 

Dean and I shared a look before we got to work. We had Crowley chained up pretty well and hid them with his jacket. I grabbed my sword and the other weapons Dean packed, while he found a can of gas that he kept in the garage. 

The four of us walked down the road to find Cas’s car, which was a ‘78 Lincoln Continental. I chuckled a bit when I first saw it while Crowley said, “Really? What are you, a pimp?” 

Cas just said, “I like it.” I smiled a bit as I was thrown the keys and went to the driver’s seat. I tried to start it for Dean. 

“Yeah, it's out of gas.” Dean said then went to the gas cap. I got out and watched the demon and the angel. 

“Riddle me this, boy wonder. Why do you need the wheels?” Crowley asked cheekily. 

A wave of anger came from Cas as he said, “When you betray us, _I'll_ be the one to carve out your heart.” 

“Oh, Cas, such a flirt.” He replied. I rolled my eyes as Dean finished filling up the tank, shaking his head at the two of them. 

“Alright. Let’s go.” Dean said. 

“Shotgun.” Crowley called out. 

Dean was having none of it. “Uh, _wrong_. You're in the back.” Cas then smirked and had a wave of amusement. Then Dean said, “Hey—you, too. Keep an eye on him.” 

Crowley had an amused smile as he got in the back while the angel just rolled his eyes and followed. I went around the front of the car to get in shotgun. “Hey. Watch the leg.” Crowley shouted. 

“You're on my side.” Cas whined. 

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Dean shouted at them. We shared an exasperated look as I combed in and closed the door. Dean started the car up and we left the neighborhood, bouncing a little with a hydraulics. 

“So where do we even start to look for the angel?” I asked. 

“I have a contact. Not far from here.” Crowley said. He gave us the address and Dean got us there in less than an hour. 

We walked into a fancy office building and waited in the glass lobby on a white couch. The four of us stuck out a little strangely, especially by our choice of clothing. Dean was waving off anxiety, “Your source is in _here_?” 

“And she can track anything you need, even our little lost Samantha.” Crowley replied. 

“How?” I asked. 

“Well, this place isn't really... _this_. It's a front for an N.S.A. listening post.” 

I raised my eyebrows at that. “What are they listening for?” Castiel asked. 

“Everything. The U.S. government is quite the voyeur these days. So I planted one of my best and let her go to work.” 

“Looking for terrorists?” 

I smirked a bit, but dropped it when Crowley said, “Looking for _marks,_ slow boat.” I gave him a look then a security guard as well as a well dressed woman in glasses approached us. 

“Mr. Crowley? She'll see you now.” All four of us stood as the guard said, “Uh, just Mr. Crowley.” 

I gritted my teeth but nodded, then Cas said, “I'll be listening to every word you say.” 

“Promise?” Crowley quipped then left with the officer. 

As we waited, I twisted the ring around my finger, “Hear anything?” I asked. 

“No. The room Crowley's in has been warded.” Cas said with a wave of worry. 

“Awesome. That’s friggin’ awesome.” Dean said. 

I let out a shaky breath, tapping the toe of my boot on the ground, waiting for Crowley to come back. Then someone took my hand. It was Cas. “We’ll get to him. I know you must be worried.” 

I nodded. “Yeah... _beyond_ worried actually. Ironically...knowing Crowley is our only hope on getting him back is the only thing keeping me together right now.” 

After a staggering silence, Crowley came back with papers in his hands. We all got up and went to him. “Your phallus on wheels just ran a red light in Somerset, Pennsylvania, 10 minutes ago.”

I ignored him as I took the photos in my hands. You could see Sam driving in them. It was a bit of relief knowing where he is now. “Let’s go.” I said starting to walk out of the lobby, Dean right behind me. 

“The four amigos ride again.” Crowley quipped as he opened the glass door out for us. 

“He’s not my amigo.” Cas said firmly, and a little flustered. I shook my head and ignored them. All I could think about was Sam. 

…

As we drove to Pennsylvania, we had a lot of time to think. The car was mostly quiet, other than the radio playing and Crowley’s occasion quip. That only left myself to process everything a little more. Including the last thing the angel said to me. It bugged me. “ _I’m sorry Little one_.” Literally only one person had ever called me that, and that was the man who had been in my dreams as of late. _It’s not possible...is it?_

We had to stop at a gas station to fuel the car up about two hours away from Somerset. I got out with Cas and took him aside a little. Hoping that I could clear some things up. “Cas…” I sighed, “is it possible, for an angel to enter a human’s dreams? To manipulate them? Communicate?” 

He nodded, not initially seeing my urgency, “yes. I have done it with Dean several times. It’s not hard to do. Why do you ask?” 

My stomach churned, but I didn’t want him knowing just yet. “It’s nothing.” 

He grabbed my arm gently before I could walk away. He looked down at me with worry coming off him. “What happened?” 

I trembled a bit at the thought and tears started to form in my eyes. “I think...I think the angel...I think he’s been in my dreams. He called me something, right after he killed Kevin. Only one other person ever called me that...and it was in this...recurring dream. And I’m starting to think…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. 

Realization came in a strong wave from Cas. He pressed his hand on my shoulder, “I’m sorry. Truly. He will pay for what he has done.” 

I sighed and let a few tears fall. I had never felt so violated before. He had gone into my head without my consent. Who knows what he saw besides the conversations we had. “Let’s just find Sam.” I said, not wishing to push the subject more, and I walked away. Cas wasn’t far from behind me, but his waves of worry never stopped. 

I didn’t speak a word until we got to the little town where the angel was last seen. We drove around the area until we finally found the Impala. It was parked in front of a house with a hedge lining the yard. We ordered Crowley to stay put and got out of the Pimpmobile, as Dean called it. 

The first thing Dean did was go over to the car and make sure she was okay. By the wave of relief, she was fine, and we all walked into the yard. Cas and I walked around to go in the back, while Dean went up the front steps. I sensed him before I saw him. The angel. 

He was standing at the sink as Cas used his angel abilities to unlock the back door. We entered quietly as the angel spoke to Dean. “You should not have come here, Dean.” 

“You killed my friend, then you take my brother, and you think I'm gonna let that stand?” 

“I allowed you to live. You _and_ the girl.” 

“Mistake.” When Dean lunged for the angel, he pushed him back with his powers and right into a bookshelf. He sensed Cas and I, so he turned to face us. Cas was too quick for him as he punched him square in the jaw. The angel was out cold as Sam’s body crumbled to the floor. 

I let out a sigh of relief as I crouched next to him. Dean and I shared a worried look, but I pressed a hand to his chest. I could sense the angel, the strong and familiar energy, but then I felt it. Sam. I fought tears as I smiled at Dean, letting him know soilently that Sam was still alive. 

Both he and Cas let out a wave of relief. Soon enough, we slapped the enochian cuffs we found at the bunker. Dean and Cas threw him in the trunk of the Impala. Cas then went back to his car while Dean and I slipped into the front seat. We drove off, looking for a place nearby to get into the angel. 

We decided to go into an abandoned warehouse three towns over, due to the body that the angel left at the house we found him in. I went in with Crowley to find a few chairs and a table to put this all together. He also had us bring the necessary tools to dig into the angel’s head. Sam’s head. The very thought made my stomach churn. Still, I was determined to get him back. 

When we put the furniture out, I sent for Dean and Cas to bring in the angel, while I set out the instruments. “You're awfully quiet tonight darling.” 

“Not in the mood Crowley.” I said with my back to him. He was sitting in the opposite chair that we were going to strap the angel down to. 

“I’m just saying. Must be worried about your moose.” I rolled my eyes. Before another word could be said, Cas and Dean brought him in. They quickly strapped him into the chair by the cuffs on his wrists and both of his ankles. Then finally they put on a strap that fit around his chin, per Crowley’s instructions. 

Dean stepped out for a minute to grab something while I stood there. Cas was doing a check on Sam’s body. I knew he was alive, but I was hoping that if we did take the angel out, that he would live through it. Just as Dean came back in, I circled out of the angel’s sight, as he was coming back into consciousness. 

Dean put on a brave and smug face, and said, “Welcome to the party, pal. Cas, how we lookin'?” 

Cas said with a wave of relief, “Most of Sam's internal burns have healed. I should be able to fix the rest.” I sighed a little bit in relief. “What's your name?” He asked the angel, “I thought I knew every angel in heaven, but I've never seen you.” 

A wave of anger came from the angel, “why would I tell _you_ anything?” 

“Well, I don't give a damn who you are.” Dean said with a new wave of anger himself. “You need to get out—now!” 

“And if I don’t?” 

Crowley spoke up, “Then you and I will have a lovely little playdate.” 

“Even bound, I can rip this body apart. Tell them, Castiel.” 

“You do, you die.” Dean threatened. 

“You want this to end? Go ahead. Put a blade through your brother's heart.” 

“You know we don’t want to do that.” I said with a cold and careful voice. 

The angel’s eyes met mine and softened a little. He also sent out a wave of guilt. “If it makes you feel better, I have Sam locked away in a dream. As far as he knows, the three of you are working a case right now—something with ghouls and cheerleaders.” 

I stepped forward, my anger clear in my voice, “Why are you doing this?” 

“We fought together.” Dean added, “And I _trusted_ you. I thought you were one of the good guys!” 

Waves of guilt and determination came from him as he said, “I am doing what I have to do.” 

“Well, so am I.” Dean said then nodded to Crowley. I stepped back as I watched the demon stand up and grab a large and thick needle from the tray I put out. He moved towards the angel. 

“So am I.” Crowley told him. I braced myself as he stuck the needle into one of Sam’s temples. The angel screamed out as pain washed into the room. 

I turned away and tears streamed steadily down my cheeks. Despite the angel being the one in pain, it was still Sam screaming. When Crowley stuck in the second needle, I ran out of the room. I hated it. I hated every scream, every minute of pain Sam’s body was suffering through. Even as I waited outside, leaning against the wall, I could still hear him scream and sensed every bit of pain. Initially, Cas followed me out, but I shooed him away, wishing to be alone. 

I felt like a part of this was my fault. Hell maybe it was. Either way, I felt horrible for it, and all I wanted was to feel safe in Sam’s warm embrace again. 

Soon enough, Dean couldn’t take anymore either. I sensed him a few seconds before he came in. He was waving off fear and guilt, and when he came in, he was fighting back tears. I went up to him and leaned my head against his shoulder for a moment, knowing that I was just exhausted of hearing Sam’s screams as he was. 

I looked up when Cas came in. “Hey.” 

Dean simply said, “I can't watch that anymore.” 

“I understand. It's not Sam, but...It's still Sam.” 

I nodded and wiped away a few tears of my own as Dean said, with his voice cracking, “Pretty much, yeah.” He then looked to Cas. “How are you doing?” 

A wave of surprise came from both me and the angel. “You want to talk about me now?” 

“I want to talk about anything that's not a demon sticking needles into my brother's brain.” He then looked out the window next to us. I pressed a hand to his back and rubbed it gently, trying to calm him as best as I could. “Yeah, humor me, man. How you doing?” 

I looked up to Cas and whispered, “it would help.” 

“Uh...I’m okay.” 

Dean turned back and said, “Good. Good. That's, uh... So, what, you just change the batteries out, power back up? It's that easy?” 

A wave of guilt came from Cas, “It wasn't easy, but I didn't have a choice.” 

“Yeah. Well,” I said, “that's usually how it goes.” 

Then Dean said, “Cas...I’m sorry.” 

“About what?” 

“Kickin' you out of the bunker. That's, uh…” Then he turned to me. “You know, not telling you about Sam.” 

I nodded quietly as Cas said, “You thought his life was at stake.” 

“Yeah, I got played.” 

“I thought I was saving Heaven. I got played, too.” 

Dean then put on a weak smile, “So you're sayin' we're both a couple of dumbasses?” 

I chuckled and had a tearful smile myself. “You said it not me.” 

Cas then smiled gently back to us, “I prefer the word ‘trusting.’ Less dumb. Less ass.” 

Then Crowley called out, “Laverne! Shirley! Get in here!” I wiped the tears away from my face as all three of us returned to the room where Crowley was working. He took the chin strap off, and Sam’s head went limp. He looked back at us and said, “Pinhead's out cold, but watch this.” He then moved a few of the needles stuck in Sam’s temple. 

The angel then started speaking Enochian. “ _Zir noco iad Gadreel. Zir noco iad Gadreel._ ” 

“What’s he saying?” Dean asked with a wave of confusion and hope. All the while I had one of horror. Everything that I suspected was true. 

“His name. Gadreel.” I said solemnly. 

Cas then had a pure wave of anger, and it was evident on his face. “Does that mean something to you?” Dean asked him. 

“Well, it's why I've never seen him.” Cas explained. “He's been imprisoned since the dawn of time. Gadreel was the sentry who allowed Lucifer into the garden.” 

“My, my. A celebrity.” Crowley commented. 

Dean and I exchanged a look as he said, “Wait, the garden? Like eden? Adam and Eve? Fig-leaves garden?” 

“It's his fault—all of it. The corruption of man, demons, hell. God _left_ because of him. The archangels—the apocalypse. If he hadn't been so weak, none of it would have happened.” Cas then had another wave of anger and went at the angel. He started to shake him as I tried to pry him instinctively off Sam. “You ruined the universe, you damn son of a bitch!” 

“Cas!” I shouted as Dean grabbed him. 

“Cas! Hey!” He said. 

“Dean, he-“ 

“I get it. But you got to chill.” Cas backed off, and Crowley then continued with the prodding for a while longer. It was easier to watch now that we can’t hear Sam scream. Eventually though, Dean was waving off impatience. “What’s taking so long?” 

“Other than the fact that I'm trying to unravel a living, multidimensional knot of pure energy, not much.” He quipped. I rolled my eyes. 

Then the angel gasped in a new breath, waking again. Dean thought it may have been Sam a moment as he had a wave of hope. But it wasn’t. My face turned cold as he spoke. “It won't work. You will _never_ find your brother. Go ahead. Poke and prod. I can sit in this chair for years and watch you fail over and over again. I've endured much worse than this, Dean. So...much...worse. And I have all the time in the world.” 

“Shut up!” I told him. 

“Alright, plan ‘B’.” Dean said. “You gotta get in there.” I wanted to protest immediately, but knew it was our last resort. I nodded as I grabbed a stool that was set to the side. 

“What are you going to do?” Gadreel asked me. 

I scoffed. “All the time that you’ve been listening in, and you underestimate what _I’m_ capable of? You’re not the only one who knows how to get inside people’s heads.” I sat down, then I turned to Dean, “I shouldn’t do this alone. I need backup.” I was terrified, and I figured that being alone with an angel would make for a really bad plan. 

“Cas, you got to possess him.” Dean ordered. 

“What?” Cas said with a large wave of fear and confusion. 

“Do it now! Get in there, tell Sam what's going on, and help him kick that lying son of a bitch out!” 

“It might work. But I can't possess a vessel without permission.” Crowley then cleared his throat and raised his cuffed hand as a volunteer.

“No. Not happening.” 

“Dean.” I said, before Crowley interejected. 

“Don't be daft. Demons can take what they want. I can burrow into that rat's nest of a head. I can wake Sam up. Just call me plan ‘C.’” 

Cas quickly said, “You can’t—“ 

“...you got a better idea?” I said. 

“What about the angel?” Dean asked. 

“We’ll work fast.” I said. 

“And if he finds you?” 

“We’ll run. _I'm_ not dying for you lot.” Crowley said, “Of course, if I do this, you're gonna have to…” 

“Take off the leash. Yeah, I know.” 

“And it stays off. I save Sam-“ 

“ _We_ save Sam.” I told him. 

“ _We_ save Sam, I leave here a free man. Do we have a deal?” 

“Cas, burn off Sam's tattoo.” Dean ordered. 

Cas, still with waves of worry said, “Dean.” 

“Castiel. Please.” I said with a cracked voice. Cas then went up to the angel and pulled his collar. With white light coming from his hand, he got rid of the tattoo. 

“If you mess with Sam, if you try anything—“

“I _keep_ my bargains.” Crowley said to Dean’s warning. I took the angel’s hand, readying myself to infiltrate Sam’s head. “Besides, I don't want to be inside your brother any longer than I have to. I'm not one for sloppy seconds.” Crowley then sat down in front of us, with Dean unlocking his chains. 

“When you find him, say ‘Poughkeepsie.’” My eyes met Dean’s “It's our go word. It means ‘drop everything and run.’”

“Fine. While I'm gone, hands off the suit.” The demon quipped. 

“Don’t do this.” The angel then spoke, I looked up to him with determination, “I’ll have no choice but to fight you. I don’t want you getting hurt.” 

“You should have thought of that before you took Sam from me.” I replied. 

Then he glared at Crowley. “I will destroy you.” Cas punched him back to hold him down. 

“Eat me.” Crowley quipped. I took a breath and closed my eyes. I focused solely on Sam. Soon enough the others faded away and all I could feel was Sam. His strength, his compassion, his curiosity, his bravery. I focused only on the man I loved and his mind. I pushed back the angel, with the demon right behind me. And soon enough, we were standing in the bunker’s library. 

I stood frozen as I saw Sam. He was working at one of the tables, reading through a book as he said, “I mean, it just doesn't make any sense. Why is this ghoul only chomping on dead cheerleaders?” 

I could hear Dean from outside the room. “Hey, you want a beer?!” 

“No, I’m fine.” 

“Sam?” I said finally. When he looked up and our eyes met, I knew it was him. I ran up and hugged him tightly, crying into his shoulder. He was surprised by it, but instinctively hugged me back. 

“Not bad.” Crowley said behind me. 

Sam quickly stood from his chair and hurled me behind him. “Dean? Dean!” He shouted. 

I grabbed at his arms. “Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay.” I told him. 

“Poughkeepsie.” The demon told him. 

Sam was taken aback by this. “How do you know that word?” 

“Because Dean's sent me, Bullwinkle, the real Dean. I'll make this quick—you've been possessed by an angel. He's got you packed away in some dusty corner of your own mind.” 

“We’re here to break you out.” I told him as Crowley made a motion to leave. 

“Seriously?” He asked, not believing us initially. 

Crowley then exchanged a looked with me and said, “Fine. We'll do this the fun way.” He picked up a gun from the table and shot at Sam’s chest. Sam shook and gasped at it, but when we both looked down at his chest, he was fine. “See? Not real. Like I said. I know how possession works, Sam. You've seen everything that he's seen, even if you can't remember. That's what I need you to do. I need you to remember.” 

“Please, Sam.” He looked down at me with fear running all around us. I pressed my palm to his face. “Remember.” 

Sam closed his eyes and focused. Horror and realization came around us as his memories flooded in. When he opened his eyes, horror and grief came over him. He looked away from me in shock, “Did I kill Kevin?” 

Crowley crouched down to look into Sam’s eyes. “No, you didn't. _He did._ You need to take control, Sam. Blow it up and cast that punk-ass holy roller out!” Sam and I then both looked up. Our eyes widened as I saw Gadreel, in the form he took in my dreams. “What? Oh, bollocks.” Crowley said as soon as he realized who was behind hi,. 

“Hello, Sam.” The angel said. 

“Who are you?” Sam asked with fear, standing in front of me. 

“His name is Gadreel.” I told him. 

“The original chump.” The demon added. 

“ _Was_ a chump. And now? I'm going to be the one that leads my kind back to heaven. I'm going to be a hero. But you, demon, for all your chatter, you will always be a coward. You should be running.” 

Crowley then punched Gadreel. I gasped as the demon fought the angel, only for it to be cut short when the demon was thrown over a table. Gadreel then went around and started kicking him. Sam and I both ran at him, only to be thrown back. My back hit against one of the stone pillars while Gadreel attacked Sam. 

The wind was knocked out of me as I crumbled to the floor. “Give up, boy.” Gadreel said, “You're not strong enough.” Sam kicked him away. 

“Take control, Sam! Cast him out!” Crowley shouted from his place on the floor. 

Sam was only able to squeak out, “Get out of my-“ 

“You sure you want me to go?” Gadreel said as he straddled him. “Maybe I'm the only thing holding you together. I leave, you might die.” 

“Sam! Get him out!” I shouted. Sam then took control by hitting Gadreel over the head with a discarded lamp, and flung the angel off him and stood, pressing his foot down on Gadreel’s throat in pure anger. 

“I said get...the hell...Out!” Soon enough, the angel disappeared in a white light. I was so jostled by it, I snapped back open into my own body again, just in time to see white smoke pouring out of Sam’s mouth in the dark warehouse. I covered my eyes as it filled the room, getting thrown back by the very Force of it to the floor. Soon enough, it left through a window. 

I staggered up as I watched red smoke follow. Instead of leaving through the window like the light, it went into Crowley’s body. I rushed over to Sam.  
  
“Sam?” I said as Cas rushed to him too. Cas and Dean fumbled with the straps and cuffs while I carefully took the needles out of Sam’s head. 

“I'm fine. Thanks for asking.” Crowley said with a wave of annoyance. 

“Sam, you okay?” I said. 

He saw my face and said my name. I had never been more relieved to hear it. We got him free just in time for headlights to flash through the windows. Cas and to check it out while Dean and I freed Sam. 

Panic then came from Cas. “It’s Abaddon.” 

“What?” I said. 

“Go. The back door. I'll handle this.” Crowley said. 

“Oh, 'cause you're such a good guy?” Dean asked. 

“Dean.” I warned. 

“Right now, I'm the goodest guy you got.” The demon replied. Cas handed me the bag while Dean and him took Sam under his arms. 

Dean still had to say, “This don't make us square. I see you again-“ 

“I'm dead. Yes, I know. I love you, too.” 

As they moved him out, I paused a moment as I passed the demon. “Crowley...thank you.” 

“Go, darling. I’ve got this.” As I left, the demon said, “Pleasure doing business with you boys, as always.” 

Dean drove us away from Abaddon and her demons. When we got a good distance, we stopped at a bridge to just breathe and for Cas to heal Sam. He was walking a little better now, that the angel was gone, and staggered over towards the middle to get some air. 

At first, I wanted to give him some space, but he never let my hand go. So I stood next to him, our hands intertwined as it. Began to drizzle. Cas came up to him and slowly moved his hand over Sam’s head, healing the wounds from the needles. I clung on to him, steadying Sam, when he swayed from it. 

“You feel better?” I asked him. 

“A little, yeah.” 

“It'll take time to fully heal you.” Castiel told him, “We'll have to do it in stages.” 

“I’ll help with it where I can too.” I said with a gentle smile. Sam nodded with a wave of relief. Then looked up with waves of anger as he saw his brother approach us steadily. Cas walked away to let us speak, I would have gone with him, but Sam wouldn’t let me go. 

“Alright. Let me hear it.” Dean said with waves of guilt. 

“What you do want me to say—that I'm pissed? Okay. I am. I'm pissed. You lied to us. You lied to me. _Again_.” 

“I didn’t have a choice.” 

“I was ready to die, Dean.” He told him, anger and desperation coming from him, and clear in his voice. Tears flooded my eyes. 

“I know. But I wouldn't let you, because that's not in me.” Dean said with waves of guilt and determination. Then he looked down at me, “and I couldn’t look you in the eye and tell you he was gone.” I looked away at that. 

“So, what? You decide to trick me into...being possessed by some...psycho angel?” 

“He saved your life.” 

“So what? I was willing to die. And now...Kevin…” Now Sam’s eyes filled up with tears. Guilt coming from him. 

“Hey. No.” I said. “That is not on you.” 

“She's right.” Dean said, “Kevin's blood is on _my_ hands, and that ain't ever getting clean. I'll burn for that. I will. But I'll find Gadreel. And I will end that son of a bitch. But I'll do it alone.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sam asked him. 

“Come on, man. Can't you see? I'm...I'm poison, Sam. People get close to me, they get killed...or worse. You know, I tell myself that I-I—I help more people than I hurt. And I tell myself that I'm-I'm doing it all for the right reasons, and I-I believe that. But I can't—I won't...Drag anybody through the muck with me. Not anymore.”

“Dean.” My voice cracked as he looked at us with pleading eyes. 

“Go. I’m not gonna stop you.” Sam said. Dean’s face fell as guilt washed over him again. He gave a quick glance to Cas then looked me in the eyes. Then he turned towards the Impala. “But don't go thinking that's the problem, 'cause it's not.” Sam added. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean asked, pausing in walking away but not turning around. 

“Just go.” 

I huffed, before I said, “give me a minute.” I let go of Sam and ran up to Dean before he jumped in the car. “Dean.” 

“What?” He asked, guilt rolling off him. 

“Just...for what it’s worth, despite it all...I forgive you.” 

“Don’t.” 

“Too late.” I said with a small smile, “Yeah _you_ let Gadreel into our lives, but it’s not your fault he made those choices that led us here. Kevin’s death is on him. Despite what you think. Despite me thinking that it’s on me, cause I was right there. Despite all of that...it’s on _him_.” 

In the quiet moment, I still sensed his guilt. Then he grabbed something from the backseat. Dean took my sword and handed it to me. “Go home.” He said. 

“Dean-“ 

“Go...home.” 

I let out a breath, then said, “Don’t do anything stupid, and come home when you’re ready.” I ordered. He climbed into the car,and I stepped back towards Sam. Cas was now next to him. The three of us then watched him drive away. 

…

I ended up being the one to drive the Pimpmobile back to the bunker. Cas was still new to driving and the storm above us wouldn’t help with that, plus Sam was still reeling from the angel possession. So I took the wheel and drove the damned thing back in about a day. 

Sam and I were both exhausted. Cas wasn’t but he did give off worried waves over the brothers and I. Still we were quiet for the majority of the ride home. As we returned to the bunker late that night, Sam and I just immediately said goodnight to Cas and went off to our respective rooms. I wanted to put my things down and take a shower, while Sam wanted to clear his head a little. 

I threw my bag down and put my sword on its spot by my side of the bed. I stripped and got into my shower. I let the warm water beat down my back as I felt the knots in my muscles relax a little. Still my thoughts were on all that had happened with Sam, Kevin, and Gadreel. Especially Gadreel. The anger, frustration, and violation I felt when I first completely understood what he had done to me was unprecedented. And it stayed with me. 

_How could someone do that? Go into someone’s mind without their consent for their own pleasure. Or whatever reason he did it. Yes I had gone into Sam’s mind earlier, but I did it to save his life, not play mind games._ I hated him for it. Someone that I found some comfort in my dreams, an escape from the real world, betrayed me. And I didn’t even think he was real until I met him. It sickened me. 

“Sweetheart?” I heard, snapping me from my thoughts. Sam came into my room, looking for me. 

“In the shower. Be done in a few.” I said, keeping the emotion from my voice as best I could. I finished up by washing my hair and scrubbing off. I turned off my water and wrapped myself in a towel, then my bathrobe due to the chill in the bunker. 

I walked out drying my hair with another towel, sensing Sam’s conflict from where he sat against the headboard. He was on his phone, scrolling a bit it looked like. When I came out, he put it down on the nightstand on his side and said, “hey.” 

“Hey.” I said gently, then threw the extra towel on top of my laundry bin. “How are you doing?” He shrugged a little as I climbed into bed with him and sat close. He took my hand and entwined his fingers into mine. “You can tell me, you know. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like.” I looked up into his eyes, which were boring into me as I sensed his waves of anger and guilt. “I’m so sorry, for all of it.” 

He took his other hand and brushed my damp hair behind my ear. “Don’t be sorry. None of it is your fault.” He said. 

I sighed a little, “Sam...that day. The day after the trial, and you were in the hospital...I was freaked out. I thought I was going to lose you...Dean and I both did. And when I had to leave, which I hated doing but I had to...I told him to save you. I didn’t know what he was going to do, but I wanted you to be alive. To be with me. And I’m sorry if I pulled you back from what you wanted...I just wasn’t ready to let you go yet.” Tears brimmed my eyes. “I wasn’t ready to watch the man I love die.” 

By the time I was done speaking, tears were in his eyes too. Sam then kissed my forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.” He said. “I love you...honestly I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes.” He chuckled a little at that, I just smiled hearing his laugh and his words. “I’m glad he’s gone.” My smile disappeared and more tears came. “Hey.” He wipes a few tears away. “What wrong?” 

I looked down a moment as I sensed his worry and concern wash over us. “Sam...there’s more...I don’t even know where to begin.” 

“What is it?” He asked gently. 

“Gadreel.” I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath. “He did more than just possess you…” I fought my tears a moment. 

A wave of protectiveness came from him, but he only said, “You can tell me. It’s okay.” 

I licked my lips, my mouth going dry. “For a few months now...I have been having this...recurring dream. A little different every time, but...I would be sitting somewhere. Peaceful and alone. Then...someone would come. The same man. He would just...sit with me, and we’d talk. I just thought...they were dreams. Nothing of it.” I paused to take a breath as Sam pulled me closer. “I would ask him, what his name was...he never really told me. Said that, if I knew who he was, I would turn away. And he called me the same thing. ‘Little one,’ like I was something much younger than him, something to protect. I thought it was strange but it was my dreams, you know...then...then Gadreel happened. 

“He...he killed Kevin right in front of me.” Tears were in Sam’s eyes at the mention of Kevin’s name. “He had me pinned with his abilities, but...as he was leaving, somehow I broke free. I tackled him trying to fight him off. I was so angry...and as he uh...he put me to sleep so he could leave, he whispered something. He apologized, and...called me ‘Little one.’” I closed my eyes. “Sam, he was in my head. And I don’t know what to do.” I fought sobs at that moment, and Sam just pulled me to his chest. 

He wrapped me up in his arms as I cried for a few minutes, his protectiveness and worry wafting off him. As safe as I felt in his arms, a part of me still felt violated and fearful from the gravity of what the angel had done to us. 

Gadreel caused a rift between the brothers I loved so dearly, and I had no idea where to even begin to fix. Sam now had to wrangle with the fact that he was possessed and the angel used his own hands to kill Kevin. Dean was a wreck somewhere on a new revenge mission, thinking that he was the cause for all of our problems. And the angel had poked around in my head without my consent, leaving me violated in a way I never thought possible. We were all damaged from this. I only wanted to know how the hell we were supposed to move forward from it. How were we supposed to go back to our happy normal? 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All kudos and comments are appreciated! Love interacting with my audience so much! Up next, First Born.


	11. First Born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam, Cas, and I deal with the aftermath of Gadreel. Dean is gone and his relationship with Sam is in shambles. Still, we got work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. Here’s First Born. Yeah we don’t get any Dean this chapter, cause reader obviously isn’t there about the Mark and Cain, but hope you enjoy this episode with Sam and Cas. Especially the cute date in the beginning.—Indigo

_“Face your life, it’s pain, it’s pleasure. Leave no path untaken.”_ —Neil Gaimen

  
  
  


I kept having nightmares. All with the same subject matter. Gadreel killing Kevin, the angel talking to me then attacking, Sam being tortured, his screams echoing in my head long after I woke up. I was starting to dread going to sleep it was that bad. 

Sam was trying to help me the best he could, all the while Cas and I worked on healing him. Turns out I was getting stronger with it as I helped Sam with the last effects of the trials. Cas was a big help being the mentor he was. Still, Sam was struggling too. He had the occasional nightmare, but it was the grief and guilt that was too much. We tried talking with each other as much as we could, and turning to Cas as well. But it was slow going. 

During all of that, I spoke with Castiel about my abilities. I told him about breaking free from Gadreel as well as the force of it. In truth, he didn’t know much about Nephilim, and he wasn’t sure what to tell me. Cas was supportive of course and told me angels have always had telekinetic abilities. In my anger, he supposed, I tapped into it. Despite throwing my focus all of one afternoon, I couldn’t replicate what happened, so I decided not to worry about it. I figured it was just a fluke incident. 

We also took a break from looking for cases in all of this. Really, our focus was on healing Sam, but we also needed the mental break. One day, as Cas was taking time to take a look at our vast collection of books, Sam’s anxiety was almost too much, so I made a suggestion over breakfast. 

“Tattoos?” He asked a little surprise and disbelief coming off him. 

“Yes.” I chuckled at the look he gave me, “what? You need your anti-demon tattoo back, so I might as well get a new one. It’ll be fun I promise!” 

After a moment of mulling it over, he said, “okay. Let’s go.” 

I smiled brightly and got on my phone. I made an appointment with a local tattoo parlor that I had been eyeing since we moved to Lebanon. Thankfully they had a couple artists who had an afternoon free. So we ate a good lunch and got hydrated before heading to town. 

I drove us down in my dodge and was glad to get out. Sam seemed a little more relieved too. When we got there, the shop was a little busy. It was an open plan, so there was five tattoo stations in front of us, three of the five were filled with three women getting tattoo on their ankles. Clearly they were getting matching. 

So we went up to the counter. A dark skinned girl with bright red dreads came out, “hiya. I’m Dani.” She said. 

“Hi we talked on the phone.” I said to her. 

“Right. Two tattoos.” She called for another person from the back then said, “no names right?” 

We both chuckled. “God no,” I replied. “Just adding to my collection.” Then the other tattoo artist came out, another woman with a pixie cut and a nose ring. 

“Alright, this is Hera. Come on, in.” The two of us had our consultations and they got to work with the Stencils. The other three women in the shop were gearing to leave when Sam had to take his shirt off. Honestly, it still takes my breath away, with him being all defined as he was, with his strong arms and smooth skin. 

Hera was completely indifferent about it, while Dani whispered, “damn girl.” I chuckled at that. Then I noticed the three other clients. They were waiting to finish paying their artists at the counter, and Sam was a little too focused, staying still on the chair to see the three ladies ogling at him. They were also waving off excitment. My smile dropped a bit, getting a tad possessive. 

I stayed quiet for the most part as I was getting stenciled on my arm. I figured they would leave and all would be good. But the transactions were getting long and they still wouldn’t take their eyes off him. The woman, who was prepping her tattoo gun, in front of me then said, “You're not going to throw down in my shop are you? I’m all for a fight, but my girl Hera isn’t.” 

“What? No, why would you ask?” 

She smirked, “the glare you have been giving the ceiling and those three women over their staring at your man.” I looked up at them. One was practically drooling. Dani then whispered a suggestion. I smiled at that. She gave me a moment as Hera stepped away from Sam. 

I got up, walked over to him and just randomly gave him a kiss. He was a little surprised, but by the hand in my hair and the wave of joy from him said it was all good. I stopped when I felt the eyes on us go elsewhere, and waves of jealousy came at me. I broke apart and he asked, “what was that about?” With a smirk. 

I smiled back, “what I can’t kiss my boyfriend?” 

“Never said that.” 

I chuckled and gave him one last peck. Then I went back to my seat, excited for the new tattoo. I didn’t tell Sam what I was getting purposefully. It was something I had in my head for a while, and this was the first chance I got to get it on my skin. 

Dani and Hera got started about the same time with the tattoo guns. Waves of discomfort came from Sam as he got the tattoo on his chest, especially when it was around his collar bone, but he didn’t wave off too much pain. I was used to the sensation and just focused on staying quiet, letting my endorphins do the work.

I was finished a little bit before Sam, since he had to get his filled all the way black, while mine was more lines. So I paid up and tipped Dani, then took a seat next to Sam. “What’d you get?” 

My arm was wrapped up, so he couldn’t see the finished product. “I’ll tell you later.” I said with a smirk, “how are you doing?” 

“Fine. Not the first time I’ve gotten tattooed.” 

I rolled my eyes, “I know. I know.” Soon enough, Sam’s tattoo was done and got him checked out, I made sure to take Dani’s card and promised to come back again. After we left the parlor, it was almost dark. “Dinner?” I asked him. 

He smiled, and said, “I know this little Italian place. Not far from here. You’ll love it.” 

…

After a nice dinner, and a drink or two, I drove us home back to the bunker. Cas was still where we left him in the library and was content with reading, though I had showed him how to work the laptop in case he wanted to check out some Netflix or something. 

He did another healing session with Sam, as well as healing up our tattoo’s for us. I was pleasantly surprised to see he knew how to make the skin heal up and progress a few weeks in a matter of seconds. I unbandaged my skin and found the tattoo still there and looking great but healed as if a few weeks went by. So did Sam’s. 

“The Little Dipper?” Sam asked with a curious smile. 

I laughed a little and said, “I’ll explain, but I’m tired, so can we go to bed?” 

He chuckled, and said, “yeah.” We said goodnight to Cas and went to my room. As I pulled off my outer laters from the day, Sam sat down on my bed looking at me expectantly. 

I rolled my eyes and said, “hold on a minute. Impatient much?” He chuckled. Soon enough we both got ready for bed and climbed in. I had my laptop out and we were planning on another movie night. Still Sam was curious as ever. When I was under the covers, he gently took my arm and held it out, checking out the brand new ink for a moment or so. 

“So...Little Dipper Huh?” He asked cheekily. 

I shook my head, still with a soft smile, and said, “it has a special meaning, Samuel. Do you know what star is at the end of the handle?” 

“Uh...the North Star.” 

“Yep.” I said proudly, “Polaris.” 

“Polaris?” 

“Back in, uh...Purgatory, the night sky is very clear surprisingly. The only really non-ugly sight of the place.” He gave off a small wave of worry. “Surprisingly, the night sky there is pretty much the same as here.” 

“Huh. Really?” 

“Yeah. We used the stars to navigate to get to the portal. Specifically, Polaris. So, every night, I would stare up at it, knowing...it was my key to come back home. To get back to you. So I got the tattoo to sort of, memorialize the time and the way it changed me. The way it made me stronger, and the way it showed me that I was in love with you. And to also remind me that...no matter where I am, I can always find my way back to you.” 

We both smile at that. The warmth and love that came from Sam told me all that I needed to know. He pulled me into his arms for another breathtaking kiss. Despite all that had happened to us, I felt safe in his arms, and for a few moments at least we could forget about everything else. 

...

I was reading a book when Cas came up to me. He was asking where we had our peanut butter and jelly. “I thought angels don’t eat?” I asked him.

“Yes...well, I wanted to try it…” he said sheepishly. But my smile put him at ease. I was a little hungry too, so I got up from my seat at the war table and took him into the kitchen. I got out bread as well as the peanut butter and grape jelly. I took those, as well as a few plates and brought them out to the map table. 

“How are you doing?” Cas asked as we began making the sandwiches. 

I sighed. “Same as yesterday I guess.” 

“Hmm.” He responded, then looked down at his sandwich. A little bit of hope and excitement came from him. I paused from eating mine to watch and see if he would like it as much as an angel as much as he did human. He took a bite, but his waves of confusion and light disgust became evident that he didn’t. 

The bunker door then came open and Sam returned. “Hey.” He greeted as he came down the stairs with a grocery bag. 

I smiled a bit then asked the angel, “so?” 

“Tastes like...molecules.” He replied with a wave of disappointment. 

“What? What are you talking about?” Sam asked, putting down the bag in front of us. 

“When I was human, you know, I had to eat constantly. It was kind of annoying.” 

Sam and I chuckled as I took a bite of my sandwich. “Yeah, a lot of human things are pretty annoying.” 

“But...I enjoyed the taste of food. Particularly peanut butter with grape jelly, not jam. Jam I found unsettling.” 

I nodded, as Sam as on the edge of the table next to Cas, intrigued as I was. “So, what? Now you can't taste PB and J?” I asked him. 

“No, I-I taste every molecule.” 

I smiled sympathetically at him, while Sam said, “Not the sum of its parts, huh?” 

“It's overwhelming. It's disgusting.” He looked down at the sandwich with longing in his eyes and disappointment wafting off him. “I miss you, PB and J.” Cas then stood, “We need to continue your healing. We're almost done.” 

I watched carefully as Cas placed two fingers on Sam’s forehead, and sensed as his grace began working in Sam. Then a wave of concern came from him, as well as the evidence on his face. “What?” Sam asked. 

A small wave of panic came from him as I stood and he tried to brush it off, “nothing.” 

“You’re a terrible liar.” I quipped as Sam slapped Cas’s hand away. 

“That is not true. I once deceived and betrayed both you and your brother.” 

I rolled my eyes as Sam said, “Okay, that's not the point. Cas, what's wrong?” 

“I noticed something. It's, uh...It's _resonating_ inside you.” 

“What?” I said then moved towards Sam, now getting worried. 

“Something angelic.” I looked between him and Sam, confusion coming from him as I pressed a hand to Sam’s chest. I furrowed my eyebrows and closed my eyes in concentration trying to sense it too. It was faint but there. A small piece of Gadreel. 

“Okay, uh, what the hell does that mean?” Sam asked, a wave of panic coming from him. 

“Maybe we should call Dean.” 

Sam moved away at the words and sat down. I crossed my arms as I sighed. I wanted to do the same thing, but knew that Sam did not want that. “No. He wanted to go, and he's gone. We'll handle this.” 

“Research?” I asked dryly. 

Sam nodded then got to work. I went into the library to find our books on angels and their vessels. Cas worked with me as well, looking into the files we had. An hour flew by as we worked, then Castiel had a wave of surprise as he showed us a particular piece of info. 

“I've found, well, something.” I looked up at that from my spot at the table while Sam was leaning over one of the shorter bookcases paying attention to Cas, “It's a detail about when angels leave their vessels...I think. It's, uh, Enochian, which can be a bit flowery. ‘And the departed shall remain, and the remains shall be the departed.’” 

“Okay, so, when an angel leaves a vessel, they leave behind a piece of themselves.” Sam said. 

“Like, uh...like an angelic fingerprint.” I said as I thought about it. 

“Whatever you want to call it, this piece of the departed contains Grace.” The angel said. 

“Wait, you're saying there's angelic Grace inside of me?” Sam asked with a wave of panic. 

“Yes. But it's fading each time I heal you.” 

“Okay. Is that good or bad.” 

“Well it's harmless. But the Grace itself...might be helpful.” I closed the book in front of me and stood next to Cas, looking over the pile of files he had. “According to this, we may be able to use the Grace that remains inside you to _track_ Gadreel...If we can extract it.” 

“How would we do that?” I asked cautiously. The extraction part didn’t sound that great to me. 

“Well...painfully.” I gave Sam a look as Cas showed us a picture of a four inch long needle they would use for the procedure. “The Men of Letters believed that you could perform a tracking spell with extracted Grace, but they were never able to test the theory.” 

A wave of determination came from Sam, “Well, they didn’t have a guinea pig, but we do.” 

Before I could protest, Cas gave off a wave of confusion. “You have a guinea pig? Where?” 

“Me, Cas. I'm the guinea pig.” Sam told him. 

“Ohh.” 

I shook my head. “You can’t be serious. They never tested it.” I told them. “It could kill you for all we know, are you really considering this?” 

“We have to find Gadreel. And it looks like this is our only shot. I can handle this.” Sam said. His waves of determination told me he wasn’t going to back down. 

I huffed as Cas asked, “Any idea where that is?” 

“We have a medical wing, could be in there.” I told him.

...

So we dug through the archives and storage, until we found it. Once he set his eyes on it, Sam was more determined than ever, while I grew more worried. So did Cas. 

The three of us were walking towards the medical wing of the place when Castiel asked, “Sam, may I ask you a question?” 

“You just did.” Sam replied with a wave of amusement. I smirked a little too. 

“Can I ask you another question?” Cas asked, not getting the joke. 

“Well, technically, you—yeah, go ahead. What's up?” We all stopped so Cas could speak with him in the hallway just before the door to the med wing. 

“Sam, the trials. You chose not to go through with them for a reason, didn't you? You chose to live rather than to sacrifice yourself. You guys...and Dean...You chose each other.” 

A wave of shame came from Sam as he tried to brush it off, “Yeah, I did. We did. And then...Dean made a choice for me.” He then stalked off into the med wing. 

“Sam.” I called. 

While Cas said, “What Dean did-“ 

“It doesn't matter what Dean did. Look, I could have put a stop to all this, Cas. I could have closed the gates of hell.” Sam avoided my eyes. He had waves of shame and regret come from him. 

“Oh, Sam.” Cas said. 

“Dean's gone, okay? This is on _me_ now, and if I can find Gadreel... I can fix this.” Sam then set the box that contained the special needle onto a surgical table next to the gurney he set out. He took off the blue plaid shirt he was wearing off, now just in his t-shirt. “Now...being a human means settling your debts.” He said as he handed Cas the box, and sat down on the gurney, “let’s start balancing the books.” 

“Sam...you don’t have to do this.” I pleaded with him. 

“I know. I want to. I need to.” He said then laid back. Cas and I exchanged a look. 

“You don’t have to be in here for this.” Cas told me. 

I scoffed a little, “Cas. I’m not leaving him to deal with this alone.” I grabbed a stool and set it to the opposite side of the gurney where Cas stood. “I’ll be right here.” I told Sam, taking his hand closest to me. 

Cas prepped the needle as waves of determination and a bit of panic came from Sam. He squeezed my hand a little and I brushed the hair out of his face with the other. 

“Just keep breathing okay?” I said lowly. Sam focused on my eyes as Cas got ready to puncture Sam’s neck. He nodded at me then put the needle right behind Sam’s ear. Sam squeezed my hand a lot harder and gasped in pain. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” I said. “Keep your eyes on me.” 

Cas, with concern waving off him, said, “Now comes the part that will actually hurt. I'm gonna begin the extraction.” I gave him a small look on that.

Sam clamped his teeth down as immense waves of pain came off him, all the while Cas began extracting a little bit at a time. A glowy-smoke substance began to fill the glass. “Is it working?” Sam gasped out. 

“Yeah.” 

“But?” 

“I-I need to push the needle in deeper. We need more Grace in order to cast the spell.” 

“Okay. Do it.” He replied with no hesitation. He closed his eyes from the pain as well. 

“Sam, if I get too close to-“ 

“Dammit, Cas! Just do it.” Sam said, wanting for it to be over. Cas went a little deeper with the needle as Sam squeezed my hand even harder and I fought myself to keep calm. Sam then lurched a little as panic came over him. 

Suddenly Cas pulled the needle out. Shock waved off Sam as he gasped with some relief. “What the hell was that?” 

“Your body is regressing to the state it was in before Gadreel.” 

“So we have enough Grace for the summoning spell?” 

“Sam.” I said. 

He avoided my eyes as he said, “Do we or not, Cas?” 

_Lie to him dammit_.“No.” Cas told him. 

“Then keep going.” 

I shook my head, “Sam, it’s hurting you. Please.” 

“I have to do this. Cas, come on.” Cas and I exchanged a look, but knew Sam wouldn’t take no for an answer. So he took a few breaths, and Cas continued. It was agonizing as Castiel tried to gingerly take as much of the grace as he could. Still, I stayed at Sam’s side, wanting it over with. 

Eventually though, the waves of pain were becoming too much for him. “Sam? Sam?!” I said as I sensed him to start going unconscious. 

“Keep going.” Sam ordered weakly. 

“Why?” I asked, fighting tears. 

“We-we—we have to find Gadreel.” 

I looked up to Cas. “Get it out.” I whispered. 

“Why must the Winchesters run toward death?” Cas asked as he began to slowly take the needle out. 

Sam then let go of my hand and grabbed Cas’s to stop him from removing it, “No, don’t.” He said. 

“Sam.” I pleaded. I fought hard to keep any tears from escaping my eyes. 

“Don’t. Don’t stop.” 

Cas kept the needle where it was, and told Sam, “Sam, when I was human, I died, and that showed me that life is precious, and it must be protected at all costs, even a life as...as pig-headed as a Winchester's.” 

His voice was soft as he said to me, “My life's not worth any more than anyone else's—not your’s or Dean's...or Kevin's. Please. Please, help me do one thing right. Keep going.” He pleaded. 

“Sam…” I let out a shaky breath, then nodded to Cas. I knew he had to see this through. I grasped onto Sam’s hand again, as Cas put the needle further into his neck, and he screamed. I pressed my other hand to his face trying to help. “Sam. It’s okay. Just breathe, okay? Just breathe.” 

I put every wall up possible to block out all of the pain Sam was sending out as I gently guided him. Trying to help him breathe and to keep going. It killed me to see him in that much pain. Still it was slow going. Cas barley made it another half inch up the needle as Sam’s nose and ears began to bleed. He was fading into unconsciousness territory again. 

With one pleading look, I gave Cas a nod to stop. I couldn’t take it anymore. “Hold on. This may pinch.” The angel then pulled the needle out completely. 

“Cas, what the hell?!” Sam asked weakly when the pain wavered. Then Cas pressed his finger’s to Sam’s forehead. I sensed all the pain and weakness go away. “Cas. What the hell was that?!” Sam yelled at full strength now sitting up. I stood up. 

“I’ve healed your wounds completely.” 

“And the grace.” 

“Well, whatever Grace was inside you is gone now. What's left of Gadreel is in here. We'll just have to try the spell with what we have.” 

Sam looked away. “Dammit.” 

I had it then, “Sam, I want Gadreel to pay as much as you do. But nothing is worth losing you.” I told him, and I finally let a few tears fall. 

Cas then said, “You know, being human, it didn't just change my view of food. It changed my view of _you_. I mean, I can _relate_ now to how you feel.” 

A small wave of confusion came from both of us as Sam asked, “what are you talking about?” 

“The only person who has screwed things up more consistently than you...is me. And now I know what that guilt feels like. And I know what it...I know what it means to feel sorry, Sam. I am sorry.” 

“I know.” 

“You know, old me—I would've have just kept going. I would've jammed that needle in deeper until you died because the ends always justified the means. But what I went though...Well, that PB and J taught me that angels can change, so...who knows? Maybe Winchesters can, too.” 

I laughed at that. “Yeah. Maybe a little.” I said. Sam chuckled a little. Then Cas left the room. I wiped the tears away. “Okay, I’m gonna say it. Quit punishing yourself.” 

He dropped his smile. “I’m not-“ 

“What the hell just happened then? Yes, we can use it to find Gadreel. But...Sam, I sensed every bit of pain you just endured for it.” He looked away with a wave of guilt. “Sam look at me,” he did. “What happened...with Kevin. It’s not your fault. I will say that until I’m hoarse. It wasn’t...so please, don’t punish yourself for something that was completely out of your control...For me?” 

He nodded, then pulled me into his arms. I gladly obliged in the hug as I sensed him calm a bit more. 

…

Later, Sam and I scrounged up the ingredients for the spell, and we took it all into the library, and put it together with Cas. The final ingredient, the Grace, was added. I watched with a held breath as the mixture boiled for a few moments then faded. The disappointment from Cas told me it didn’t work. 

“Was that, uh...Was that it?” Sam asked. 

“I'm afraid there wasn't enough Grace. We'll have to find Gadreel another way. I'm sorry, Sam.” 

I sighed. “It’s alright, Cas.” Sam said, “You, uh...You were right. You were right about everything.” Sam then leaned over and gave Cas a tight hug, waiting for him to hug back. The angel just stood there awkwardly. I smiled brightly at the sight. “Now's the part where you hug back.” 

Cas then moved his arms to hug Sam, “oh. Right. Uh, sorry.” I chuckled a little. So did Sam. 

“Ah, there you go.” 

They broke apart, and Cas said, “As far as I'm concerned, Metatron is the key to fixing everything that's wrong. I'm gonna find him.” He began to walk away, but stopped to turn to us, “You know, Sam, we could use all the help we could get to find Gadreel and Metatron.” 

“We got this.” Sam said solidly and with a wave of determination. 

Cas nodded, but before he moved to leave, I went up to him. I gave him a quick hug goodbye and wished him luck. Soon enough, it was just Sam and I in the bunker. I sighed, and said, “it’s weird.” 

“What?” Sam asked coming up from behind and wrapping his arms around me, letting his head rest against mine. 

“The bunker...it feels empty without him. I know you don’t want to talk about your brother-”

“I know...it’s okay.” He kissed my temple, and asked, “wanna watch a movie or something?” 

“Yeah.” I said with a smile, despite the feeling of how incomplete our home felt. I really missed Dean, and I think a part of Sam missed him too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Sharp Teeth, and the return of Garth!


	12. Sharp Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Cas off to find Metatron, Sam and I go back to work. But the first thing we see are my old angel friends. Which only leads us to find Garth and Dean once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Garth chapter! And Dean returns with the mark. Enjoyed working on this chapter. Enjoy!—Indigo

_“Mistakes are proof that you’re trying.”_ —Ernest Hemingway 

  
  
  
  


It had been thirteen days since we had heard from Dean. I was getting worried, and Sam still hadn’t let up about how we were fine on our own. By the time I got a phone call from Josephine, I was climbing walls. 

“Hey, is everything alright?” I asked her. I fiddled with my journal in front of me, sitting in the library. 

“Yes...we just need to speak with you.” 

“I’m all ears what’s up?” 

“No...not over the phone. Meet us at the coordinates tomorrow. I’ll explain everything then little bird.” I wrote them down and tried to get her to tell me more, but she just said a quick goodbye and hung up. 

“Huh.” I said to myself, then Sam came into the room. 

“Something wrong?” He asked. 

“That was Josephine. They want to meet.” 

“Really? What for?” Confusion came from him as well as concern. 

“She didn’t say. Just gave me some coordinates.” Then my brain went back to what she said to me right after the fall. The angel war. I hadn’t really told the boys about her prophecy, knowing full well it would complicate things, but this sudden meeting may need some explaining. 

I went over to my laptop and looked up the coordinates, “New Mexico?” Sam asked. 

“Yep. You up for a road trip? Maybe catch a case while we’re there?” He smiled and nodded. We got packed up and put together the weapons. Due to Dean having the Impala, Sam helped me instal a lock box for weapons in the back of my dodge a few days before, so we put in the guns as well as other supplies, and the last was my sword. 

We drove out to New Mexico, and made it to the coordinates in the middle of the afternoon. On the way, I told Sam a little bit more about my angel friends and my insecurity with them. I hadn’t forgiven them over Jackson, and the last time I saw them I still hadn’t gotten a real explanation for it. And this time, I doubted I would still. 

When we got there, I was all nerves, but Sam took my hand anyway trying to assure me. The three angels were sitting on a bench at a rest stop just outside of Albuquerque. They all smiled at me when I came to view. 

Josephine was the first to get up and tackle me in a hug. “Little bird!” She said with a wave of joy. 

I smiled and hugged her back. “Hey.” She pulled away and looked up. “You remember Sam?” 

“Yes, though you were unconscious when we first met.” She said, Sam gave off a small wave of confusion, then shook hands with her, then Chadwick and Sandriel came up to us. 

“Sam, this is Chadwick and Sandriel. Guys this is Sam.” 

“Sam Winchester, heard a lot about you. Pleasure.” Chadwick said, offering a hand. 

I crossed my arms, “so why did you call me here? What couldn’t you say on the phone?” 

Josephine’s smile disappeared. “You need to sit down for it.” Sam and I exchanged a look before all of us sat down at the picnic table in front of us underneath some shade of a tree. “I had another vision.” 

I raised my eyebrows at the confirmation, but a wave of confusion came from Sam, while all three of the angels in front of us were worried. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked. 

Josephine explained, “I have a gift of seeing the future from time to time. Visions.” 

Sam looked to me and I shrugged. “Not my story to tell.” I said lowly. 

“Jo...you need to tell her.” Sandriel said. 

“Tell me what?” 

“It’s about the war...the angel war.” She said. “It’s starting. And Metatron...he’s beginning to gather forces.” 

“Right...with Gadreel?” Sam asked warily. Chadwick and Sandriel both had a wave of anger but kept quiet. 

“Yes...how did you know?” 

“It’s a long story, we had a run in with him.” I told her. “What else…” 

She looked between us with fear coming from her. “Dean Winchester.” 

“What about my brother?” Sam asked with a wave of panic. 

“He will be instrumental...as are you two. But...he just made a decision that has made the future very murky.” 

“What did he do?” I asked. 

“I don’t know...but...he _will_ end the war brewing in Hell. Then move on to kill Metatron.” 

“Will he?” 

“I don’t know...it hasn’t been shown to me yet. But I needed to warn you before we go underground again. It will not be an easy road, for any of you…” 

That left a pit in my stomach. “Can you tell us anything else?” 

“I’m afraid not...it will only complicate things.” Sam and I exchanged a worried look, “but...I should tell you...you need to look for your friend Garth.” 

“Garth?” Sam asked, “he’s been MIA for a while now...is he in trouble.” 

“Just start looking for him, things will fall into place after.” She said then got up to leave. 

“Wait that’s it? You're leaving now?” I asked. 

“Like she said, we have to go underground again.” Sandriel said. “It was good to meet you Sam.” 

“We’ll see eachother again...soon.” Josephine assured me when she gave me a goodbye hug. 

Sam and I watched them leave in their car, unsure of where they were going, and unsure of the road ahead. All I knew was, now we really had to find Garth. The first thing we did was drive into town and get a motel room. A small bit of panic was in the both of us, but we got to work. 

“So...you don’t really talk about them.” Sam said a few hours in. He was sitting at our table in the room on his laptop, while I was sitting on our bed with my own. 

“No...that history you know...makes it hard to talk about them.” I sighed, “I’m having no luck on my end. Anything?” 

He shook his head, then had a wave of realization. “Oh shit.” He said. 

I got up, “what?” 

“I think he’s in Wisconsin. Police band sent out a description of a John Doe that got hit by a car. Matches his description.” 

“Is there a mugshot?” 

“No, but...he’s in the hospital.” 

…

We hightailed it to Wisconsin. It took us a long time, but we got there about two days later. I was anxious the whole drive there, wishing to see my old friend as well as what it may bring according to Josephine. 

Wearing our Fed suits, Sam and I went into the hospital and straight to reception. We showed the receptionist our badges, “Afternoon. We’re looking for a John Doe that was admitted here a few days ago. He's a, uh...skinny...Ichabod Crane-looking kind of guy.” 

A wave of realization came from her. “I know just who you mean. Room 113, agents.” 

“Alright, thanks.” I told her. 

As we walked away, I heard her say, “Sure is a popular fella.” I paid no mind as we walked to the room. I knew it was Garth before we even walked in, sensing his familiar, but unconscious, presence, as well as another familiar one. 

My heart leapt as I sensed Dean. I opened the door quickly only to catch him hiding something when he heard the door. But when he saw Sam and I, he waves off surprise and annoyance. He was wearing his regular clothes and had a bit of scruff from not shaving. Sam closed the door behind us as they just stared at each other. Anger was still there between them as I sighed. 

“Good to see you too.” I said dryly to Dean then went up to Garth. I was relieved to see him alive. 

After another awkward moment of silence, Sam finally said, “Saw Garth's John Doe on the police wire. You?” 

“Yeah. Where you comin’ from?” Dean asked, then I looked up at him. Something was different about his energy. I hadn’t noticed it at first at my excitement to see him, but now I couldn’t keep my focus off it. 

“New Mexico.” Sam replied. 

“Well, that's a haul. Especially considering that I got this, uh... pretty much covered, so if you want to…” he clicked his tongue and motioned at the door. 

I rolled my eyes and said, “You speak to him yet?” 

“No. Assload of painkillers. He's been out since I got here.” 

I looked back at Garth then saw the handcuffs that kept him confined to the bed. “What’s he being charged with?” 

“Killing a cow.” 

“Why?” Sam asked. 

“I was about to see if I could find out. Lock the door.” 

Sam then went up to the door and dead bolted it, but we both waved off panic when I saw the syringe in Dean’s hand. “Whoa. Hey. What is that? Adrenaline?” I asked him. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“You trying to jump-start him or kill him?” Sam asked after we exchanged a look. 

“I want some answers. He walked out on Kevin. He walked out on us. So if you got a better idea…” 

Sam then sighed and went up to Garth. Before I could even protest, Sam straight up slapped him in the face. The scrawny man then shot up awake and screamed. 

He calmed down once he realized who was in front of him. “What is this? A hospital? Wait. Am I in Heaven?” I couldn’t hide my smile as I went up to him. 

“Alright take it easy, Garth.” I told him gently. 

“You’re in Wisconsin.” Dean told him. 

“You were hit by a car. Do you remember anything?” Sam asked. 

Garth groaned a little, the panic and confusion leaving him, replacing it with pain and realization. “I uh...vaguely.” He then pulled his hand up that was handcuffed. “What’s with the hardware?” 

Sam handed me his handcuff key and I removed them from Garth as Dean said. “You tell us. And while you're at it, why don't you give us the lowdown on why you went AWOL for the past six months? Only way we tracked you down is that you offed a cow.” 

I looked at Garth pointedly, wondering the same thing. “Offed a...what? I-I-I was on a hunt.” He said. 

“Hunt for what?” I asked. 

“I—oh, no.” Garth had a wave of nausea come from him then said, “Oh, get back. Ohh. Oh, God.” He quickly ripped off the monitors and his IV, then ran to the bathroom. As soon as he shut the door, we could hear him gag and retch. 

I grimaced as Dean said, “Good thing I didn't give him the adrenaline.” 

We fell into a quiet as we waited for Garth. Sam sat down in one of the chairs in the room while I paced in front of Garth’s bathroom door. Dean was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. Waves of some anger were still there between the boys, but nothing explosive. 

“Anything on Gadreel?” Dean finally asked. 

“Actually, uh, yeah.” I looked at Sam, as another wave of anger came from him at the sound of the angel’s name. “Turns out he, uh, he left some _Grace_ in me before he bolted.” Sam told him. 

“You know how wrong that sounds, right?” 

“Wouldn't worry about it. Cas took care of it.” 

Dean then chuckled a bit with a wave of amusement. “What?” I asked. 

“Nothing. I'm gone for two weeks, and you're like an episode of ‘Teen Mom.’” I rolled my eyes as Garth had another bout of coughing. “Just breathe, Garth! Work it out.” 

Then I noticed something on Dean’s arm. “What happened to your arm?” I asked, my slightly pissed but concern dripping from my voice. 

“Oh. It’s a…” he lifted the sleeve to reveal a strange mark that appeared to be seared into his skin like an old scar. “Gift from Cain.” 

“Like...the wrestler?” Sam asked. 

“I wish. That would be awesome. Uh, no.” Dean replied as I went up to him and examined it further. “The, uh...The Old Testament dude. He got all Biblical on me and gave me his mark.” 

I let go of him. “I can sense it across the room. What does it even mean? How did that happen?” I asked. 

“Crowley and I found him, and he gave me this so that I could eighty-six Abaddon once and for all.” Sam and I exchanged a look, _Josephine was right_. 

“You worked a job with Crowley?” Sam asked as he realized it, but I suddenly became worried. I couldn’t sense Garth anymore. 

“The devil you know…” 

“Oh crap.” I mumbled then went to the bathroom door. “Garth?” 

“What?” Dean asked, then I gave him a look. I opened it and the boys rushed behind me, only to see Garth was gone and the window left open. “Son of a bitch.” 

We ran out of the hospital and to the side of the parking lot where Garth’s window was. “Why would Garth run from us?” I asked. 

“Why haven't we heard from him for the last six months? Did you test him?” Sam asked Dean. 

“He was _unconscious_. No, I—he steal a car?” Dean asked as we looked around. 

“Did he…” I looked down to see a hospital gown on the ground. “steal a car naked?” 

Dean then tapped on both of our shoulders and pointed up. “I'll see what I can find on those cameras. Why don't you go talk to farmer Brown, see about that cow?” 

“Yeah.” Sam and I got into my dodge and drove towards the farm that was on the police report. It didn’t take us long to find the guy, who was in the middle of fixing his wooden fence that he had shot at in his chase with Garth. 

“Let me guess, shoot first and ask questions later?” I asked him with my arms cross, trying to shove down my distaste in that. 

“Last week, it was a couple of chickens.” The farmer said with a wave of anger. “Goat the week before that. So when I saw that boy tearing out of my barn, hell yeah, I was gonna ask questions later.” 

Sam then asked, “Now, the animals—were they all killed in the same manner?” 

“More like sacrificed.” 

“What do you mean by that?” I asked him with a quirked eyebrow. 

“Their organs was ripped clean out. Only the organs. If this wasn't some kind of devil-worship thing, I don't know what.” 

Sam and I exchanged a look, then he replied, “Mm. Well, thanks.” We walked back to the car and drove back to the hospital. When we got there, I got out my cell and called Dean on speaker. 

“Yeah,” 

“So, the cow wasn't just killed. It was eviscerated.” I told him. 

“Well, why was Garth there?” 

We stopped right before we got to the car, and Sam replied, “He said he was on a hunt, right? Maybe he was hunting whatever killed it.” 

“Why would he run? This whole thing's starting to stink. You know that, right?” 

“Yeah.” I agreed, “what about you? Any luck?” 

“Uh, nada. Cameras were pointing in the wrong direction.” 

“You’re kidding.” Sam replied after a wave of frustration. Neither of us believed him. Dean didn’t want us on the case. 

“Wish I was.” 

“Hmm. So…” 

“...so Garth's a hunter. If he wants to stay gone, he's gone.” 

I shook my head, “we got nothing?” Sam asked as we spotted Dean coming around the parked ambulance. 

“Well, what can I say, Sammy? We lost this one. Send me a postcard.” He then turned the corner and ran right into Sam. I snatched the photos away from Dean and we all took a look. They had perfect shots of Garth escaping the hospital and getting it a car. 

Sam was wafting off anger as he said, “Wow. Make, model, license plate. Really, Dean?” 

“I told you we can't hunt together. It's for your own good.” 

“Dean.” I said. 

Then Sam told him, “I hear you. And after we find Garth and get to the bottom of this, we’re gone.” I wanted to protest that. “But until then, no more games.” 

I stared Dean down a moment as he nodded, then said, “Ride belongs to a girl named Bess Meyers. She lives in the next town over.” 

…

The three of us found the apartment and I could sense two people. One of them was Garth, the other was someone I hadn’t met. I let the boys know somebody was in there with him. For some godforsaken reason, they thought it was good enough to kick the door down and go in their with guns raised. 

I followed quickly as Garth said, “Whoa, whoa! Hey, guys. I can explain. Everything's cool. Just a simple misunderstanding.” He was standing behind a table as we all looked at him. 

“Who were you talking to?” Dean asked. 

“What?” 

“The girl?” 

“What-what girl? What the-“ Dean then grabbed a random bra that was left of the table, giving Garth a look. “What, now?” He said, still trying to play dumb. Dean nodded at Sam then proceeded to clear the apartment. They appeared to not find anyone, clearly she was hiding. “Alright, alright. Guys, everyone needs to take a chill pill and put their guns down. You see? Let's all be grown-ups here and have an adult conversation.” 

I sighed. “Garth, I can sense her. What’s going on?” Then out of nowhere, a werewolf came out of the closet Sam was standing in front of and attacked him. “Sam!” I shouted. Dean pointed his gun at them but couldn’t take a shot as Garth tackled the gun out of his hand quickly. 

“No!” He said then he lept between Sam and the werewolf. At some point in the fight Sam got out his silver knife and nicked her with it before Garth got them separated. 

“Sam! Sam, please—don't hurt her.” Garth pleaded as Sam went to me. Both brothers were now breathing hard as confusion came from all of us. 

“What are you doing?! She's a werewolf!” Dean shouted. 

“So am I.” 

You could hear a pin drop at that moment. Shock came from all of us as the werewolf waved off anger. Garth seemed to have calmed her down and took her to the couch. Waves of adoration and compassion came from him as he tended to her wound. 

“It's okay, baby. Hold it like that.” He told her as he bandaged her up. 

“What are they doing here, Garth?” She asked him, a wave of fear and protectiveness came from her. 

“They're friends. I promise.” 

“They’re hunters.” 

Garth then turned to us, the boys were still very confused as they put away their guns and knife. “Alright. We've all gotten off on the wrong foot here. So let's do things right. Boys...Darlin’...this is Bess...my beloved.” I was surprised by that, but suddenly very happy for my old friend. “And, Bess, that's Dean. Now, he could start a fight in an empty house, but deep down inside, he's just a big ol' Teddy bear.” Sam and I both chuckled as Dean gave off a wave of annoyance. “And Sam here—Sam can be a bit insecure at times,” I took his hand as Sam glared at him, “but for good reason. Bless his heart.” Then Garth turned to me with a smile. He told her my name and said, “she is one of my oldest friends. Absolute sweetheart. She’s an empath so that’s why she could ‘sense’ you. Wouldn’t be here today without her.” 

I couldn’t help but smile, “thank you Garth, that was very sweet.” 

“Werewolf?” Dean asked. 

I rolled my eyes, “could you explain...please.” 

“Alright, guys, look—about six months ago, I was outside Portland, Maine, hunting this big bad wolf. I took him down, but…” a wave of shame came off him, “He bit me in the process.” 

“And you didn’t call one of us? Didn’t call me?” I said hurt. 

“And tell you what? That I messed up? No, I-I knew the deal. There's no cure, so I accepted my fate. Ate my favorite dish of egg fu Yung, watched the world's greatest movie, ‘Rocky III’ and then...was ready to eat a bullet, when Bess here found me.” 

“And how’d she do that?” Sam asked. 

“Smell him. How else?” Bess replied, waving off some nostalgia. 

“Yeah. She talked the gun out of my mouth, and, as they say, the rest is history. We've been married for four months now.” 

“You’re married?” I asked with a smile. 

“To a werewolf.” I glared at Dean for his question I would have smacked him too if Sam was between him and I. 

“Yes.” Bess said with a wave of anger, “And my pack has taken him in as one of our own.” 

“Guys, it's not what you think. We don't hurt people.” Garth explained. 

Still, Dean didn’t exactly see it, “No, you just go all Wolverine on cattle.” 

“Yeah.” 

“At least he's not eating _human_ hearts. Do you have any idea how hard it is for a bitten to control his instincts, like Garth does? How well he's doing?” She said with a wave of love and pride. 

“Thank you, baby.” 

“Well, it's the truth, honey bunny.” It warmed my heart a little to see Garth wave off joy as he interacted with Bess. 

“Wait. A-a ‘bitten?’ You're all bitten.” Sam said. 

“Not at all.” Bess told us, “You're either born to it, like I was, or you're bitten, like Garth.” 

I was surprised by this, so was Dean as he said, “Hold on. You said you were—you were born a werewolf?” 

“Second generation.” 

“Garth, can we talk to you for a sec? Alone?” Dean asked. 

Garth then turned to his wife, “Honey, why don't you go find some ointment for that arm? Okay?” She nodded and left the room. 

Dean then asked, “what the hell?” 

“Look, I know you guys want to shoot first and ask questions later, but I checked everything out.” Garth explained, “This pack is clean. Everything's Kosher.” 

“Right. Uh, minus the part where your wife attacked me.” Sam said pointedly. 

“Yeah, because you two came busting in here like a house on fire. Guns waving, the jawlines and the hair—it's very intimidating! What'd you expect?” I fought a laugh at that. “Dean, no one wants any trouble. You got my word on that.” 

“Oh, no. That ship has sailed.” Dean said, “We're gonna need a hell of a lot more than your word.” 

“Okay. Okay. Tell you what. You want proof? Come pray with us.” Sam and Dean exchanged a look. 

I asked, “what like church?” 

“I have choir practice tomorrow, come meet them. Please?” 

I smirked, “I know I’d love to. Dean?” He gave me a look then nodded. Garth smiled with a wave of excitement. 

…

I jumped in the Impala the next day with Dean while Sam headed off to the sheriff’s station. Sam was reserved on it, but I assured him that I trusted Garth, and that Dean would have my back. 

We pulled up in front of the quaint farmhouse in the late afternoon. When we got out, I was surprised by how normal it seemed. Then Dean’s phone rang. He put it on speaker, it was Sam. “You there?” 

“Yeah, just pulled up. Nothing too sketchy yet.” I rolled my eyes as he went to the trunk. He proceeded to get out a couple of silver knives, but I refused the one he tried to hand to me. 

“That’s a good thing, right?” I asked. 

“Not betting on it.” 

“Or are we just that jaded? I mean, maybe Garth's right.” Sam replied. Dean closed it up once he pocketed his. 

“Well, ain't you a glass half full.” Dean said with a small wave of annoyance. “Any luck with the cops?” 

“Uh, sheriff should be rolling up any second. Be careful.” 

“Of course. You too,” I said then Dean hung up. We approached the house and we could hear music and singing from the open door. The singing suddenly stopped and we could hear voices and a piano. We walked up and Dean knocked on the door. 

A middle aged woman opened up with a big smile, she said our names, due to Garth telling her to expect us, and said, “I'm Joy, Garth's mother-in-law. Uh, stepmother-in-law, which I always thought sounded so silly. Please, come in. We're just finishing up.” 

I smiled while Dean said, “Why don't you just tell Garth we’re here?” Discomfort was coming off him. 

“Dean, you have my word—you're safe under my roof. I only ask the same in return. After all...I'm not the one carrying silver.” 

I gave him a look then said, “I’ll keep an eye on him, don’t worry.” She let us in and I kept up with Dean’s pace. He came in slowly, still with a ton of discomfort coming off him, and came up to the doorway of the livingroom. 

Garth was playing the piano, albeit off-key, with the singers. Bess was standing next to him as we watched the choir sing. Once they were finished, Dean and I chuckled a bit. Once they were finished, the leader of the group addressed them. “Uh...Thank you, brother Garth. Wonderful accompaniment, as usual. And I'll see the rest of you in the pews—9:00 a.m., sharp. No stragglers...Sister Amelia.” 

There was laughter as the choir got up to leave, then a spark of joy when Garth saw us and came up, Bess not far behind. “Oh. Hi. So, what'd I tell you? It's all good, right?” 

Dean then said lowly, “everyone here’s a wolf?” 

I gave him a look as Garth said, “yeah.” 

“Yeah, not all good.” 

“Oh, come on, Dean. You just got to meet them.” Garth said. 

“Yes, please.” I said with a smile. 

Garth then pointed towards a few men, “That's Russ and Joba, Bess' first cousins on sister Joy's side.” I smiled as they waved at us, then Garth pointed out the group leader, “That's Reverend Jim, Bess' dad—leader of the pack and a _good_ man.” 

The reverend then came up to us, “Dean, isn’t it?” He also said my name and I confirmed it. “Welcome. Jim Meyers. Folks usually call me…” 

“Reverend Jim. Yeah, I got it.” Dean said as he ignored the reverend’s hand. I shook it for him with a smile. 

“Pleasure to meet you.” 

Garth then chuckled a little uncomfortably, “Oh. Uh, my bad. Dean's got this crazy fear of germs.” 

Jim seemed to see through that lie, “I understand your apprehension, Dean. Hunters and our kind don't have the best history together.” 

Joy then came up and stood next to her husband. “But I think you'll find we're not much different from you.” 

“Oh, sister, I highly doubt it.” 

“Why don't we break bread and see?” Jim asked. 

“Why would I do that?” 

“Dean,” I chided. “Forgive him, please. He’s a little distrusting. This is very new for the both of us.” 

They sighed a little and left for the dining room with the rest of the family. Garth wafted off shock as he said, “Dean!” 

“What?” His discomfort was still very clear, but niether of us were tolerating his behavior. 

“We’re staying for dinner.” I ordered. “And _please_ don’t be rude.” Dean grumbled a bit, and we went to the dining room. Dean and I sat across from Garth and Bess, while one of her cousins sat next to Dean and the other next to Garth. Joy sat at one end of the table, while Reverend Jim sat at the other. Joy then began passing out the dinner. 

She began with two plates for Dean and I. It was stake, some corn, and an overdone biscuit, but I smile anyway, thanking her for the meal. I had to elbow Dean for the same thank you. We both froze when she got out the rest of the food. She began passing out raw and bloody animal organs to the rest of the group. Waves of disgust came from Dean as I fought it too. It was strange to say the least. 

“Now, everybody eat up. But make sure you leave room for pie.” Joy announced. 

“Sister Joy's pies are famous throughout the badger state.” Jim said with a wave of pride. 

Garth already began eating from his plate as he said, “Mm. Dean loves pie.” 

I chuckled a little as Dean stared daggers at Garth for that. I then decided to try to ignore the rest of the group and tried to eat myself. I took my fork and knife and began eating at the stake. Still Dean was just bewildered, “Don't you guys say some sort of a Grace or something?” 

“We're more spiritual than we are religious. We believe, much like the American Indians did, that nature and man are one.” 

“Yeah, really worked out well for them.” I stepped on his foot from the table as both Garth and I glared at him. Then a wave of realization came from him as he took a look around the room. I noticed it too. Each and every one of them was wearing a silver bullet around their necks. “So, why are a bunch of werewolves wearing silver bullets around their necks?” 

Garth then coughed as little bit as I felt the room get a few waves of discomfort at the Word. I glared at Dean more as Garth said, “Sorry, Dean, but we don't use the ‘W’ word around here. We prefer the term ‘lycanthrope.’” 

“‘We?’” Dean asked. 

“He's entitled to his opinion, Garth.” Jim told him. 

Bess then spoke up, “Many of our kind see themselves as indestructible. This is a constant reminder of how precious our lives truly are.” 

“Yeah, but it's silver.” I said, kind of concerned, “I mean, doesn't it burn?” 

“Yeah, it does a bit, but that's kind of the point. It reminds us of our fragility.” Garth explained. 

“My daughter, Bess, was born a lycanthrope. It was one of the proudest days of my life.” Reverend Jim said with a wave of pride, then one of grief as he sucked in a deep breathe, “Which soon turned tragic...When a hunter killed my wife. Believe me when I tell you, I wanted to make someone pay. Then I looked at Bess, and I realized the road to revenge is a dark and lonely one, which you never get off. And that hole in the pit of your stomach, you never fill it—ever.” 

“I’m so sorry about your wife.” Then I turned to Bess, “about your mom.” They both smiled a little in gratitude. Garth smirked at me as well. 

“Hey, no, I get it.” Dean said, a small wave of realization. 

“So I chose to look forward, not backwards. And the minute I did that, the powers that be brought this beautiful, compassionate, amazing woman into my life.” He smiled brightly at Joy. “And she helped me raise a little baby girl as if Bess were her own.” 

“I can't take all the credit.” She said with a wave of pride. “Daddy had a hand in it, too. He saw your potential.” 

“Daddy?” Dean asked. 

“My father—bless his soul—was the previous reverend of our church, the third generation in our family to serve.” 

“So, you’re fourth-generation werewolf?” 

A bit of discomfort came off her, but she said, “yes.” 

I cleared my throat, and said, “you know Garth, I was so happy to hear you got married. Must have been one hell of a wedding. Sad I missed it.” 

Garth and Bess just looked at each other lovingly. “It was the best day of my life.” Garth replied, then turned back to me and asked, “how are things with Sam?” 

I smiled. “Good. They're good.” I chuckled a little, “coming up a year now actually.” I then took a drink of my water. 

“Thinking of getting married yet?” Bess asked suddenly. 

Dean chuckled when I choked on my water. I coughed for a few seconds as I sensed his amusement. “That’s...uh...um. Haven’t really thought about it I guess.” 

I gave Dean another quick glare and went back to eating my dinner. The meal went on quietly after that. Dean was still very uncomfortable, but we all ate in peace. Later, after dessert and the plates were collected, we all got up from the table and all of the reverend’s guests mingled amongst themselves. 

Garth, Bess, Dean, and I were speaking when Dean excused himself to steal a beer. I kept an eye on him as he took a look into the fridge. I smirked a little when he made a face at the contents, which were probably stored animal organs, but dropped it when Bess’s cousins walked up behind him. 

“Still hungry?” Russ asked. I could sense some angry waves from both cousins.

“Yeah, I was just, uh...seeing if you had any beer.” Then the two men approached Dean and practically pinned him in the corner. 

“The sooner you realize that all is good here, the sooner you can go.” He said as Dean kept his gaze steady. 

I got Garth’s attention, and we walked into the kitchen as Dean said, “Don't you two have a chew toy or something to go play with?” 

“Hey guys.” Garth said with a smile, “You mind if I grab a second with Dean, here?” Both of the men stared at Dean and I before they leave and the three of us went towards the window. “Why are you being so hard on everyone?” Garth finally asked Dean. 

“Because there's no way that all of this is what it looks like. No way.” He said with waves of disbelief. 

“Why not?” 

“Come on, man. I know you drank the kool-aid, okay? But come on.” 

“Look, amigo...I know this is all looks nuts, but I found it. Love and a family? Who cares where that comes from?” 

“I do.” 

I shrugged, “I’ll give you that.” I said. 

“I get it. When I first got here, I couldn't let go, either. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Garth told us, “But when it didn't, I had to accept the truth.” 

“Well, I got another truth for you—we were all left in the _dark_ when you went AWOL.” I looked away as Dean had a wave of anger and grief, “I didn't know whether you were dead or worse. You should have reached out and sent someone a message.” 

A wave of sadness came from Garth, “And said what, Dean? That I was a werewolf? I was embarrassed. I thought it best for everyone if I just stayed away. But that doesn't mean that I didn't think about and miss you two and Sam...Kevin.” 

A wave of grief came from Dean and I. We both realized that Garth didn’t know. “Kevin’s gone.” I said gently. 

“What?” 

“Gone for good.” Dean said. 

“What happened?” 

“When he needed me, I wasn't there. That's what.” Dean then walked away at that. 

I let him, still upset about it. Flashes of Kevin’s death ran through my head. “It happened a few weeks ago.” 

“I’m sorry, Darlin’. I mean it.” Garth said with a wave of grief. 

“I know.” I said with a small smile. “I know. It’s still pretty raw, for all of us.” 

…

Later, after dark, Sam met up with us in front of the reverend’s house with my dodge. The three of us were leaning against the Impala and we explained what happened. “Okay, Dean, they gave you lunch, they gave you pie. Why are we still here?” 

“Uh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, Garth's good.” Dean said with a wave of determination. “You want to hit the road, it's square by me.” 

“Look, I'm just saying, this wouldn't be the first time we came across a friendly monster. Or a-a _family_ of friendly monsters—whatever this is.” 

“A family is a first for me.” I said with a chuckle, then Sam’s phone rang. 

“Agent Perry.” He answered. Dean and I both watched as Sam spoke on the phone, “Sheriff...how can I help you?...really?” Sam motioned to hit the road. The boys got into the Impala while I jumped into my car. I followed them up a dark dirt road, rolling up to a spot where the sheriff is standing, not far from his marked car. 

He was standing over a gutted deer. We all got out and walked up to him. “Well, you wanted weird, agent. You tell me what tore up that deer. Nothing that runs in these parts.” 

He had waves of determination, which I found strange by the way he was acting so panicked. There wasn’t an ounce of fear from him. We walked over to the deer and the boys squatted down. “Fresh blood.” Dean remarked as I stared at the body. 

“Yes, it is.” The sheriff replied as I walked around the body and crouched in front of them. 

Dean felt the body, “Still warm. That means it died after we got the call.” 

Sam and I put it together quickly and we all stood, just to see the sheriff have a gun trained on us. “Couldn't just accept that all was good and move on, could you? You have no idea what you've walked into, do you? No matter. You won't be walking out.” 

As he drew his weapon, Dean was faster. Soon enough, he threw his silver knife straight into the sheriff’s chest. I gave a sigh of relief as his body fell dead to the ground. The three of us rushed to the body. 

Dean pulled the knife out of his chest as Sam found a chain around his neck. On the end of it was a silver bullet. He yanked it off to show us. “Hey. Look at this.” 

“I've seen that before. Yeah, that is a favorite accessory of the good reverend and his flock.” Dean told him. 

“Oh crap.” I said. 

“‘Ragnarok?’” Sam said reading off the bullet. 

“Yeah, that's, uh, Thor, Loki, Odin stuff, right?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, it's Norse mythology's end of days.” I replied. 

“But why is it etched onto a bullet?” Sam asked. 

“Who cares? We got all the answers we need.” Dean said with a new wave of anger. 

“I don't know, Dean. I think we need more.” 

“Oh, what? Sheriff Andy Taylor here wasn't good enough for you?” 

“Enough to kill _Garth_?” I asked with bite. 

“Come on, man.” Sam said, “let’s do this right.” 

“Alright, fine. Clean this up, grab Garth, lock him up until we figure out what's what. I'm gonna go check out that church.” 

We took care of the body and quickly left. Dean headed off towards the church, while Sam and I went straight to Garth and Bess’s apartment. Sam knocked on the door but I couldn’t sense anyone behind it. Sam then picked the lock and we went in. Only to find the place trashed. 

“Garth?” I called out panicked. Sam and I both drew our guns, with silver bullets may I add, and cleared the apartment. They were nowhere to be found. “Call Dean.” 

Sam picked up his phone and dialed it on speaker. “Hey. Did you find the lovebirds?” Dean asked. 

“No. Place is a wreck. No Garth, no Bess.” I told him. 

“What, they were taken? Well, that's fan-friggin'-tastic.” 

Sam and I were both wafting off worry as he said, “tell us you got something.” 

“Well, this, uh...Ragnarok, end-of-days crap—star of the story is a wolf named Fenris, who kills the God Odin before the world ends.” 

“Okay. And that helps us how?” 

“There are cults that consider Fenris a wolf deity and worship him. They call themselves the Maw of Fenris.” 

“A cult of werewolves?” Sam asked with a chuckle. 

“What do they want?” I asked more seriously. 

“Well, Ragnarok is not just a Bible story to these nutjobs. It's an action plan—human extinction, total and complete werewolf domination.” 

“And...what?” Sam said, “This is the-the ground-zero for their movement?” 

“Freakin' Wisconsin, man. Well, time for Reverend Jim to go down.” 

I sighed, “yeah. Need any help?” 

“No, no, no, I got it. You guys just, uh, you find Garth.” 

“Alright.” Sam hung up and we moved to leave, but when we walked out, the back of my head was hit with something cold and hard. I blacked out before I even hit the floor. 

…

Next thing I knew, I was being tied to a tractor. My vision was a little blurry as I sensed the cousins, Joy, Bess, and Garth. I really started to wake up when Garth shouted, “You leave her alone! You hear me?! You want to hurt somebody, you hurt me!” 

Joy laughed as I looked over to Sam, who was still unconscious. “Oh, that is so sweet. But I am going to hurt her. And them.” She pointed at us. “But especially you, for bringing these hunters here.” She chuckled as she said, “I’m gonna hurt all of you.” 

Garth’s voice broke a little when he looked at Bess, who were both tied up, “I’m sorry.” Joy then went up to him as I began to fight the ropes. Both Joba and Russ were watching with pride and excitement coming from them. The woman then began hitting Garth. “Unh! Please—don't do this. Not to Bess. She's your daughter—Unh!” 

“How many times do I have to say this?” She said with a wave of anger. “‘Stepdaughter!’ I'm the last of my bloodline, thanks to you and your kind out there.” 

Sam then jerked a little as he woke up next to me. “Sam.” I whispered as he began to panic. 

“They're awake.” Russ announced with a toothy grin. 

Sam groaned as Joy walked over to us. “Well, don't you just look good enough to eat.” 

“Why are you doing this?” I asked angry, “I mean, us, I can understand, but these people are your family. Your _pack_.” 

She motioned to the cousins to guard outside as she loaded a pistol with silver bullets. “Last winter, my little brother, Charlie, was killed by a hunter.” She looked at the two of us with disdain. “My husband counseled patience, restraint. Just as when he took over our beloved church, he preached a new direction—lycanthropes and man would co-exist. Peace was more important than dominance. I tried so hard to make his way work...to be a preacher's wife. But then...Charlie was murdered. And I couldn't help remembering my daddy's sermons. And, by golly, turns out he was right. As long as there is a man, there can be no peace. Because man destroys. And I, for one, am sick of it.” 

“I get it now. Why co-exist when you can rule?” Sam asked as I could sense Dean outside. 

“Bingo. But my husband doesn't see it that way. See, he was bitten, not born into it, like I was. He still holds on to his humanity. Which is why I am so pleased it will be his claws that start Ragnarok, not mine. You two and your brother coming here was a blessing from Fenris above. The three of you cornered Garth here, and then when Bess came running in to see what the _fuss_ was about…” she gasped, “You killed her.” 

“No!” Garth shouted. 

“Here. Silver to the heart.” 

Garth began to growl as his eyes changed color and fangs sprouted. “You’re gonna frame their murder on us.” I said in horror. 

“My husband turned his cheek once. I don't think he can do it again.” She said with waves of anger and sick joy. She walked over to Bess, who wasn’t far from where Sam and I were tied up, and pointed the gun at her. 

“Hey! Get away from her!” Garth shouted. 

“Killing you gives me no joy, but Ragnarok—it's bigger than all of us.” 

“You’re sick.” Bess said. Joy then went to pull the trigger, but Sam managed to stretch enough and kick the gun from her hand. 

She pulled back and looked at him with pure and fierce anger. “You're just dying for me to get my claws dirty, aren't you?” She started to growl and her eyes began to change color as well, claws and sharp teeth appeared on her person. I began fighting the ropes more as Dean came in only to be tackled by Joba. He gun flew away from him as they wrestled in the hay, but thankfully he gained the upper hand and stabbed Joba with a silver knife.

Joy turned to him, “Wearing Russ' coat to hide your scent—smart.” 

“Oh, I’m full of surprises.” Dean quipped. 

“As am I.” They both dove for their guns. Thankfully Dean was a faster draw and shot her in the chest. She gasped a moment as her energy faded and her body crumbled to the ground.

…

By the time we were gearing to leave, it was morning. Bess was consoling her father as we made our goodbyes to Garth. Sam was first. “Be good. Hear me?” 

“I will.” Garth replied, “thanks, Sam.” He gave him a quick hug, then Sam moved to go outside. The wave of distrust and anger that came from him as he passed Dean told me he wasn’t happy with the short ride back to my dodge. 

I looked up at Garth. “I’m happy for you. I mean you got hell of a wife.” I said with a smirk. 

He smiled. “Thanks Darlin’” he then went in for a hug and a smiled through it. 

“Don’t be a stranger okay? I missed you. I’m gonna miss you.” I said then pulled away. 

“I won’t. I promise.” Then he turned to Dean. 

“How's he doing?” Dean asked motioning to Bess and the Reverend. 

“He's taking it pretty hard. Feels like he should have seen the signs earlier.” 

“Yeah, well, maybe you were right. Yeah, he seems like a good man...considering.” 

I smirked at that. Then Garth replied, “Yeah. And you were right. Everything around here wasn't copacetic. I screwed up again. First Kevin, now this.” 

“Hey.” I said. 

Then Dean said to him, “Kevin? That's on me. I'm the one that pulled him into all this. I'm the one that should've been there to protect him.” 

I gave Dean a sad look as I sensed his guilt and grief on that. Garth then said, “Well…I guess there's enough of that blame to go around, then.” Dean nodded then started to head towards the door. I started to follow when Garth called out to us. 

“Yeah?” 

“Um...I know this may sound a little crazy, but...Maybe I could come back and hunt with you. I mean, with my werewolf mojo, we'd have an advantage.” 

“Yeah, look, Garth-“ 

“No, Dean. I want to make this right.” A wave of determination came from him. “I never should've left you guys, _especially_ Kevin. Kevin was my friend. Friends don't do that.” 

“Well, hey, you said it—you know, who cares where happiness comes from? Look, we're all a little weird, we're all a little wacky—some more than others—but...if it works, it works. You got something here. Okay? Even though they are werewolves. Or Lycanthropes—whatever. Don't let that go. Okay? You'll never forgive yourself. Besides, somebody's got to live to tell this damn story someday, and who better than you?” I smiled at that. Then Dean opened up his arms for a hug, “Now shut up and come here.” 

A wave of surprise and joy came from Garth. “Really?” 

“Hurry up before I change my mind.” I chuckled at that as they hugged. It was very sweet. 

Soon enough, we left the house and went back to the parking lot where we left my car. There was another awkward silence as we prepared to get out. As I did, Sam said, “I’ll send you that postcard.” 

I ignored it as I got my keys out and went to my dodge. Sam was right behind me as we almost reached the car. Then Dean got out of the Impala. “Hey.” We both turned to him. “Uh, listen, that night that, uh...You know, we went our-our separate ways-“

“You mean the night you split?” Sam asked. 

After a pause, Dean nodded, “Fair enough. I was messed up, man. Kevin was dead, and I...I don't know what I was.” 

“Okay.” 

“Hell, maybe I still don't. But, uh...I know I took a piece of you in the process, and for that…” he struggled a moment to say something, then finally he just said, “Somebody changed the playbook, man, you know? It's like what-what-what's right is wrong and what's wrong is more wrong, and...I just know that when...When we rode together…” 

Sam finished for him, “we split the crapiness.” 

Dean sighed, “yeah, so…” 

I looked at Sam, hopeful to get him back. “Okay.” Sam said. 

“Okay.” Dean and I replied at the same time. 

“But something's broken here, Dean.” Sam told him. 

“I'm not saying that it's not. I...I just think maybe we need to put a couple W's on the board and we get past all this.” 

“I don't think so. No, I-I wish, but...We don't...see things the same way anymore—our _roles_ in this whole thing.” He looked away as he said, “Back in that church, talking me out of boarding up hell? Or-or tricking me into letting Gadreel possess me? I can't trust you—not the way I thought I could, not the way I _should_ be able to.” 

“Okay, look. Whatever happened...We are family, okay?” 

“You say that like it's some sort of cure-all, like it can change the fact that everything that has ever gone wrong between us has been because we're family.” 

I sighed at that, knowing that all this crap wasn’t going to be an easy fix. Dean was hurt by it. “So what—we’re not family now?” 

“I'm saying, you want to work? Let's work. If you want to be brothers…” Sam left a moment to let Dean fill in the words on that. “Those are my terms.” 

After a moment, Dean nodded. “Okay.” I said. I handed Sam the keys to my dodge. “You take her home, I wanna ride with Dean.” I turned to him. “We gotta talk about that mark.” 

“It’s fine.” He said. 

“No it’s not. Let’s go.” I replied then headed towards the Impala. We drove away from the lot and he told me the story of his adventure with Crowley. I was left with more questions than answers. 


	13. The Purge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys and I head out on a case involving a man who rapidly lost weight and we infiltrated a local spa. Unfortunately, Sam and Dean are still not happy with each other, and I’m thrown into the middle of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, now we get to meet Donna! She’s one of my favorite recurring characters and can’t wait to write more of her. Plus, this is another one of my favorite episodes. Enjoy—Indigo

_“Never wish them pain. That’s not who you are. If they caused you pain, they must have pain inside. Wish them healing.”_ —Najwa Zebian 

  
  
  


I was happy to have both of my boys back home and safe. But things weren’t the same. Sam and Dean barely spoke in the off days we were back. Still they were cordial around each other, but chose to not necessarily be around one another. It was sad to see. 

In all the time I knew them, they were almost as close as any two brothers could be, but in those days, they treated each other like strangers. With me in the middle, and I couldn’t do much about it. It wasn’t like the aftermath of Purgatory or with Benny, where their anger at each other was explosive and incredibly hard to predict, this was so different. Trust was broken. And I had no idea how to fix it. None of us did. 

I was worried for them to say the least, so in that off time I even looked up ways to try and counsel them through it on the internet. I knew the biggest thing was to give them time and to be there for them. So I talked with Sam whenever he wanted to and was there for him. Encouraging him to talk about everything at his own pace. And in my time around Dean, I did the same. It was difficult because I knew that at some point, Sam would have to forgive Dean, and at the time, that seemed even more impossible. 

One night, Sam and I were in my room just hanging out and talking. Somehow the subject went to Gadreel. “Does Dean know?” Sam asked. 

“Know what Sam?” 

“Know what Gadreel did to you?”

I sighed. “You heard what I said to him. I forgave-“ 

“Forgave him I know.” He looked at me with his puppy dog eyes, “but does he _know_.” 

I looked away. “No. And I don’t really plan on telling him.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because...I don’t know. It would add to the list of things he punishes himself about. I’m getting through it, Sam. And frankly he doesn’t _need_ to know. What happened to me was another of Gadreel’s choices, not Dean’s. I know that. And telling him...it would dig it up even more. Adding more salt to the wounds. I don’t need it. _He_ doesn’t need it. Okay?” 

Sam nodded. We proceeded to talk a few moments more about it then went to something else. I had no intention of telling Dean. In my own way, I wanted to protect Dean from that. Knowing that I was also hurt because of his mistakes was the last thing Dean needed. 

The next morning, Sam decided to sleep in and not go on his run, to which I was happy about. We both got up around nine and got dressed. The two of us went down to the kitchen to find an exhausted Dean sitting at the table with his laptop, staring at the damn thing with tired focus. 

I greeted him with a “Hey.” 

He barely looked up, “hey.” His voice was a little more raspy than usual.

“You go to bed last night?” Sam asked without much concern coming from him. He started to rummage through the kitchen, working on breakfast while I went straight for the coffee pot. 

Dean cleared his throat. “What? Uh, no. No, _Rudy_ was on. _Unforgiven_ , and then I was too jacked to sleep, so...research.” He punctuated the sentence by gesturing towards his lap top in front of him. 

“Gadreel?” Sam asked. 

Dean didn’t notice as he said, “And Metatron and the Mark of Cain and…” He trailed off as he realized Sam wasn’t paying attention. I sat down in front of him, sharing a look. “...Crickets. I did find us a case, though.” 

“Oh, yeah?” 

“Yeah, was a strange death in Stillwater, Minnesota. A competitive eater died after a hot dog-eating contest.” 

I chuckled, “So, what? Death by a tube steak?” 

“If only. He got attacked in his car, but, uh, get this—he shrunk from 300 pounds to 90 pounds.” 

I raised my eyebrows at that. Sam asked, “Witchcraft?” 

“Or a heavy-duty laxative. You game?” I smiled and nodded. 

“Yeah,” Sam replied. 

“Good. Looks like it's a whore's bath for me. I'll be ready in five.” Dean got up but Sam had a small wave of worry come from him as he stopped him in the doorway. 

“You sure you’re okay, Dean?” He asked. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“'Cause—I don't know you...This isn't about what I said the other day, is it?”

That’s when I sensed Dean’s anger come up. I braced for a fight, “Oh, about that we're not supposed to be brothers? No, don't flatter yourself. I don't break that easy.” 

“Oh, good, cause I was just being honest.” I looked away from that, trying to seem like I was paying more attention to my coffee mug in front of me. 

“Oh, yeah. No, I got that loud and clear.” Dean said dryly and left. I sighed in relief that it didn’t last long, but I knew that this wouldn’t be the last of confrontations between the brothers. 

So the boys and I packed our things and left for Minnesota. The drive was quiet for the most part. Thankfully the boys didn’t bicker or anything on the way. Still it was hard to try to focus on the case in front of us, knowing they weren’t exactly on the same page anymore. 

Still, we had work to do. Before getting to the Sheriff’s station, we got changed into our Fed threads and got in. We met up with Sheriff Donna Hanscum. A sweet, blonde and curvy woman who I immediately found her energy to be filled with lightness and no anger. A welcomed contrast. 

She brought us a few files on the vic. “Thanks for your patience, agents. Coroner's report finally came in.” 

I smiled as she handed me one and I opened it up. Sam looked over my shoulder as he said, “Alright, let's see. Did Wayne McNut really weigh 300 pounds just moments before time of death?” 

“316 to be exact.” She replied. 

“And the official cause of death?” I asked. 

“Cardiac arrest. But between you and me, that's just a guess. The vic suffered _massive_ organ damage.” She turned and handed the other file in her hands to the secretary behind her. “Here you go, Jenny. Ruptured spleen, pierced liver, collapsed lung. Looked like everything was just sucked right out of him.” 

We walked with her to the other side of the room where they kept their coffee pot and break essentials. She began pouring herself a cup as Dean asked, “Like he'd been hoovered?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, you know, I got to be honest, fellas—hm?” She said as she took a powdered donut out of a pink box and offered us some. I smiled but shook my head as Sam silently asked me for the file. Dean gladly walked over and grabbed himself one as the Sheriff continued, “We're stumped. This type of thing just doesn't happen in Stillwater.” 

She took a big bite and some of the powdered sugar stayed on her lip and a little bit fell on her black tie. I kept a polite look and said, “Now, did Wayne have any enemies?” 

“Hmm. More like an unfriendly rivalry.” Dean then proceeded to start eating his donut, which got powdered sugar all over his lips and chin. I fought a good smile at that. “A guy named ‘Slim Jim’ Morgan. Like Wayne, he was pretty well-known in the competitive-eatin' circuit.” 

Sam looked up and had a wave of amusement come from him as he asked, while subtly telling Dean about the sugar. “Competitive-eating circuit? Is that a big thing out here?” 

“Oh, yeah. You betcha.” She said with a classic Minnesotan accent. “Folks take it real seriously—train for months. Eat all sorts of wackadoo stuff, you know, like, uh...Baked beans, buff wings, butter.” 

“Butter?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah. Sometimes deep-fried.” Dean took another bite with a small response, just getting more sugar everywhere. Sheriff Hanscum continued. “This year alone, Wayne won the Butter Bowl, the Wing Ding, and Shrimptasia. Anyhoo, point being, Wayne McNut was the only one Slim Jim couldn't beat in the whole Great Lakes region.”

“So is he a suspect?” 

“We checked him out, but Slim Jim was in the Hot Doggery at the time of Wayne's death, and we got 15 witnesses to prove it.” 

“Really?” I asked a little defeated. 

“Yah.” She replied then shared a looked between Dean and her. I smiled as they both waved off contentment in eating their donuts. Sam exchanged a look with me before thanking the Sheriff and heading off to Slim Jim’s house for questioning. 

The man was in fact slim with dark hair, and let us into his house without much issue. He was working on a huge bowl of lettuce. “Training.” He said with a full mouth. “When I gear up for a competition, I eat lettuce—stretches the stomach.” 

I nodded as Dean sent off a wave of disgust. He then said, “Yet another reason to stay away from salads.” 

Sam wafted off annoyance as he said, “How well did you know Wayne McNut?” 

“Well, well enough to know he was a _weasel_ and a cheat. I hate to say it, but, uh, karma's a bitch.” 

“Hm.” I said then looked over around the house. I noticed several spell jars and only snapped boxes. Suddenly it seemed like there was a witch among us. “This is interesting.” I said. 

“Mala's good-luck charms.” Jim explained. 

“And Mala is…?” Dean asked. 

“My old lady.” 

“Is your old lady superstitious?”

“Yeah. She’s Romanichal.” 

A wave of confusion came from Dean, “Romnichal?” 

“Gypsy.” Sam said. 

“But don't call her that.” Jim said with a wave of protectiveness. “She says it's reductive. But I think it's a compliment. I mean, gypsies are all the rage on TV— _My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Gypsy Sisters...Keeping up with the Kardashians_.”

“Um.” Sam said as he cleared his throat, “you mind if I use your bathroom?” 

“Yeah, go ahead. But use the one upstairs at the back. Mala's taking a shower in ours.” 

“Right.” Sam said before leaving the room to snoop.

“Did you really lose the ‘Wiener Winner’ by one dog?” Dean asked. 

A wave of anger came from the man. “Yeah.” 

I nodded, “I’m sorry about that.” 

“Thanks. But hey, I don’t speak ill of the dead, but he got what was coming to him.” 

“Yes, karma is karma, but I wouldn’t say his cheating would deem that.” 

“Yeah, yeah. But jeez, if I was there...”

Dean then asked, his curiosity getting the best of him, “And what are we talkin'? Six inches? Foot-long?” 

And Jim wasn’t having it. “Look, agents. Am I a suspect here or what? 'Cause unless you got a warrant—“

Sam came in a cleared his throat, “you, uh, ready to go?” 

I nodded and moved towards the door while Dean said, “Yeah. Uh, Mr. Morgan, thank you for your time. If you remember anything else, this is our number and where we're staying locally.” Dean handed him a business card and we left. 

Sam, it turns out, found a Hex bag in Mala and Slim Jim’s bedroom. So Dean took a stab at it while Sam did some research on Romanichal culture connected with it. I got out a few witch craft books and started looking through them. 

“Alright, so, we got what appears to be Wayne McNut's hair and...a bag full of weird.” Dean said with a wave of disgust. 

“Well, weird and witch right?” I said without looking up. 

Sam then pipped in from behind his screen, “In Romanichal culture, the pouch is called a _putsi_ bag. It's used for hexes.” 

“Okay, so, what? Mala’s putting hexes on hubby’s competition?” Sam just shrugged at my question. 

“I mean,” Dean said, “what do we got ourselves? A _thinner_ ditch here?” Dean asked. 

“Slim Jim might not even know.” Sam replied. 

After a quiet response, there was a knock at the door. Dean got up as I sensed a determination and worry from the other end. He got out his gun before looking through the peephole, only to shrug and open the door. Mala was behind it. “Hi.” He said with a polite smile, hiding the gun behind his back. 

“I believe you have something of mine.” She said. After a shared look between us, we let her in and started asking questions. Dean got her some water from the sink and said, “Kill Wayne? I loved him!” She said in shock and grief. 

“So...you were…” Sam said dancing around the word of affair. 

“Yes. Okay?” She said. “We were having an affair—for years, actually.” 

“Seriously?” I asked under my breath. 

Dean then said, “I don't mean to be rude, uh...But how is it that Wayne McNut is your type?” I gave him a look for the personal question. “I mean, you're married to a man who's barely a buck-wet.” 

“What can I say? Sometimes it's nice to feel a little give…” She said to him. 

A wave of realization came from Dean. “Oh. Yeah, I get that—a little extra cushion for the, uh…” 

Sam and I both gave him a bitch face. I cleared my throat. “Help me understand something. If you loved Wayne, why did you put a curse on him?” I asked. 

“It wasn't a curse. Putsi bags are also used for blessings. I wanted Wayne to win. Plan was, take the prize money, get a quickie divorce, and then tie the knot in Orlando.” A wave of grief came from her. “Wayne used to call me his _Princess Jasmine_.” 

I nodded, noticing a bit of a sad look on Dean, but it disappeared when Sam looked over. “I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for explaining it to us.” 

So Mala left us and we got back to work at square one. _Who the hell killed Wayne? Or what the hell killed Wayne? Could be anything at this point _. I thought as I hit the books again. 

…

The next morning, we got a call. Another body dropped. This time it was a young woman working out at a gym. As soon as we got there, we walked in with an officer to check out the body. It was laying on top of a scale and was quite literally just skin and bones. 

“Any idea what the vic weighed beforehand?” Sam asked. 

“165.” 

“So...180. Known fact—all women lie about their weight and age.” Dean mused. 

“I don’t.” I said defensively. 

“Cause you're the exception.” Dean said with a stiff smile after a wave of realization. 

I scoffed and crossed my arms, “wait, you told that waitress the other day you were twenty-nine.” 

“Mm-Hmm.” He replied, despite the small wave of fear he had when he met my glare. 

“Need anything else, agents?” The officer asked. 

“Yeah,” I said, “is Sheriff Hanscum around?” 

“Sorry. She's out for the rest of the week. Hell of a time to take a vacation, right?” We all nodded and he left. 

Sam then said, “Okay, so, we have two victims, with seemingly nothing in common except, uh—“ 

“A love for eclairs.” Dean said, “Check this out.” 

I shook my head at him as we all crouched around the body. He lifted up the shirt to reveal a large red, circular mark. “What is that?” 

“A birthmark?” I asked. 

“Huh. So the weight had to come off somehow, right?” Sam asked. “What if it's a suction mark?” 

“A suction mark? Okay. Uh, changeling?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, but changelings only take over kids. Neither of the vics had any.” 

“And we don't know if Wayne McNut had a suction mark.” 

“Unless we missed it.” I replied. 

The three of us stood upright again. Dean then had a wave of excitement as he noticed an attractive woman across the room. “Yeah. Well, we should, uh, split up. Two of us should hit the morgue. The other should stay here and question the staff.” 

Sam noticed as well and said, “I’ll stay.” 

“Yeah me too, just, you know, make sure their not lying and all. You can handle the morgue.” I said, following his lead. 

“Ain’t gonna happen.” Dean said firmly. 

“Why?” Sam asked, a wave of annoyance coming from him now. 

“Because you're weird around girls.” 

I gave Dean another look. “What does that mean, weird?” Sam asked defensively. 

“You're awkward. You know, weird—Sam Weird. Sorry, man. I'm just _being honest_.” 

Sam sighed with frustration at that. “Yeah, well. If we _are_ being honest here,” I said with a cheeky smile, “Sam _is_ the one with the hot live in girlfriend.” 

That earned me the rare Dean bitchface, and he just walked away towards the girl. Sam and I both chuckled, and we walked towards the exit. We went to the morgue and got the info we needed uneventfully. When we returned to the motel room, we found Dean sitting against his headboard with his laptop on his lap. 

“Hey.” I said as we entered. 

“Find anything at the morgue?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah.” Sam replied. “Uh, so, Wayne was banged up pretty bad. But on the back of his neck, just below his hairline...suction mark—identical to Carol's.” Sam then went into the fridge and got out a couple of beers for he and I. 

“Okay, so, they both had marks, just like the hot trainer at Rollz.” 

“But she was skinny...and alive.” I said as Sam handed me my bottle. 

“And just recently lost a ton of weight.” I sat down on the edge of the bed as I listened to Dean, Sam sitting on the opposite one. “When I asked her about the mark, she, uh—she clammed up, got all embarrassed. So, uh, I did some checking. And it turns out that she took a couple of ‘me’ days last month and went here.” 

He turned his laptop to show both of us a website advertising a day spa. “Canyon Valley?” 

“Hm. Yeah.” He proceeded to play a promotional video for it. 

It had a high tempo music in the background and an attractive couple talking to the viewer. “ _When you look in the mirror, do you recognize the fat person staring back at you? Have you tried every fad diet, every fitness trend out there, but nothing seems to work? Here at Canyon Valley, we guarantee weight loss with no surgery...No extreme dieting...and no intensive workout regimen. Guaranteed results in one week! You CAN reach your weight-loss goals. We did. But only if you reach for the phone and call Canyon Valley...Now._ ” 

“How far away is that place?” Sam asked. 

“Couple hours.” Dean replied. 

“Great, but how are we gonna get in? I don’t exactly want to become a client and/or the next vic.” I said. 

Dean smiled a bit, “already got it covered.” He pulled up another page. There were a few listings for jobs there, more specifically for a spiritual counselor and physical trainers. 

…

After a few phone calls and a quick trip to a thrift store, we were geared up to go undercover. That morning Sam and Dean were both surprise to see my outfit choice. While they stayed with their regular street clothes, I decided to go way more into the character I wanted to play for the counselor. 

“Hippie, really?” Dean asked as he eyed my long linen skirt with a floral pattern, a lacy short sleeve blouse, and extra dangly jewelry. 

I chuckled, “well my leather jacket and ripped jeans don't really scream ‘spiritual counselor’ now do they?” 

“It looks great.” Sam said.   
  
“Thanks.” 

Soon enough, we headed up towards the spa. It was pretty remote and really beautiful to look at from the outside. It was also chilly due to the elevation so I wrapped myself a little more tightly in my Jean jacket as we all walked into the glass lobby. 

We were met by a couple, the same one on the promotional video; Larry and Maritza. We all sat down in front of them, due to they only had one interview slot open in their schedule that day, putting on our best show to get the job. “We were really, really moved by the online testimonials.” Sam told them. 

“Oh, yeah. That was some powerful stuff.” Dean replied. 

“And you boys are both certified personal trainers?” Maritza asked with a Peruvian accent. She had dark hair and pretty brown eyes. She waved off a bit of caution but also eagerness. 

“Yeah. Yeah, personal training brothers. Kind of like Hans and Franz, but, uh, less German.” 

Larry, who waved off determination, asked, “And you're certified in…” 

“Makin' people sweat! Yeah. Kickin' ass and takin' names!” He slammed his hand on the table a bit too enthusiastically, “That’s how we do!” 

“Uh...Uh, to clarify, uh, what my brother's trying to say is,” Sam said trying to cover, “we both have a passion for fitness and helping people.” 

“And I of course _love_ mentoring people mentally and spiritually. Helping people is...well it’s our calling.” 

“Oh, us too.” She replied and turned to her husband. “In fact, that's how we first met.” 

“I was Maritza's first client back in Peru. I was on a student visa—homesick, stressed, eating my troubles away.” Larry said with a smile and they both waved off nostalgia. 

“Oh, he was the size of a _casa_.” We all chuckled a bit. 

“Oh, it's true! I was one empanada away from a heart attack. But then this...gorgeous godsend made me the lean, mean, fighting machine I am today.” He then enthusiastically showed off some lungful fighting techniques. 

“Ho! Oh…” Dean said as the rest of us were a little speechless. 

“But I digress. Now, the good news is, we are hiring.” He turned to me with a smile, “We’d love you as our spiritual counselor. The bad news is, there's only one trainer position available.” He then looked at Dean, “How do you feel about working in another department.” 

“Huh?” Dean responded. 

He quickly took the job and we were shown around. Then Larry took the boys for their respected jobs while Maritza showed me to an office I could use to do sessions with clients. After being given a Schedule and some time to adjust, I went to the lunch room. Because I was new, they wanted me to introduce myself to the clients individually and schedule directly, which I didn’t mind. It gave me a good chance to check everyone out.

When I walked in, I had to fight myself from laughing. Dean was behind the lunch counter wearing a Canyon Valley uniform as well as a hairnet. “Oh jeez.” I heard Sam say behind me carrying a used plate. Clearly he had just seen his brother. 

I smiled at the sight. Sam was wearing a tank top and athletic shorts. “I like the outfit.” 

He chuckled a look away with a slight blush. I quickly took his hand, and we went straight up to Dean, who was wafting off annoyance. But he was a bit amused by seeing Sam. With a smirk, he said, “Nice shorts.” 

“Nice hairnet.” Sam quickly shot back as her put in the plate on the cart next to Dean. 

“Now, boys be nice.” I chided lightly. 

“Yeah, why do I got to be the lunch lady?” Dean asked. 

“Since when have you ever complained about being around food?” Sam asked. 

“Okay, this is not food.” 

I chuckled a bit as I sensed another person behind the counter, a man named Alonso, “Hey, new guy. Quit flirtin' with the trainer and keep scoopin', huh?” 

Dean glared at the man as I just shook my head. Sam then looked down at his watch. “It's alright. My, uh...Ashtanga yoga class starts in five minutes.” 

“How the hell do you know anything about yoga?” Dean asked. 

Sam smiled a little and said, “You're not the only one who's ever dated someone bendy.” I rolled my eyes as he kissed me quickly on the cheek and left, knowing full well he was talking about me. 

Dean just smirked at me, “let me guess you’re—”

“Dean.” I said warningly. “Get back to work.” I went away, not wishing to hear his teasing. I grabbed some lunch and found a spot in the corner. I picked at the plate a little then proceeded to make my way around the tables of clients. Many were cheerful, but only two people took up my offer for some private sessions. Surprisingly they all seemed very content and happy, enjoying the spa experience. Only made me wonder where the hell was our guy who was responsible for the murders. 

So I had some serious time to kill. Not long after, I checked the time and realized Sam’s class was ending, so I headed over and watched him say goodbye to his many clients. “Hey. How did it go?” I asked. 

“Good. Gotta talk to you.” We proceeded to start walking down the hall when we were stopped by Larry, who was pushing Sheriff Hanscum in a wheelchair. She was waving off totally relaxation and seemed kinda loopy too. 

Larry just looked up to Sam and asked, “how was class?” 

“It was, uh...great. Yeah.” 

Then the Sheriff recognized Sam, “Agent Frehley? What are you doing here?” 

“Agent Frehley?” Larry asked. 

I was quick to over. “I don’t know. She must be pretty out of it, huh?” I asked with a light chuckled. 

Sam’s cell then rang, “Oh, excuse me. Sorry. I got to get this. Have a good one.” 

“See you later Larry,” I said as I followed Sam. 

He answered the phone while I leaned up next to it to hear Dean. “Yeah?” 

“Sammy?” Dean said in a slurred voice. 

“Dean? What's wrong with you?” Waves of worry came from both of us. 

“I need your help.” 

Sam and I exchanged a worry look. “Where are you? Dean?!” 

“Sweet potatoes...” and we heard a click. Sam and I then headed off to the kitchens looking for his brother. We looked through door after door of the place and still no sign. As I thought of giving up, panic coming from Sam and I, I sensed Dean. 

“This way.” I said as we approached a store room. 

“Dean!” Sam shouted. 

“Sammy.” We could hear Dean’s groggy voice. Sam opened up the door to see Dean laid over a sack of sweet potatoes. Exhaustion came from Dean as we went to him. 

Sam clapped his shoulders and shook him a little. “Dean! Hey!” I turned him over a little and checked his face. “Hey. Wake up!” 

Dean groaned. “What took you so long?” 

“What the hell happened?!” 

“I was drugged.” 

“Drugged? What?” I said. 

“Pudding. It was supposed to be for the clients, but I couldn't resist.” Sam then found a container of off yellow pudding. Sam sniffed it. “What, salted caramel?” He asked. 

“Yeah, man. The best of both worlds—salty and sweet.” 

“Right...I’ll stay with him, go.” I told Sam. 

“No, no, I'm gonna come with you.” Dean protested then tried to get up, but he had no balance. He fell back to the floor. “Go ahead, man. I’ll catch up!” 

Sam then left the room in a panic. I managed to get Dean sitting up. “You just couldn’t resist could you?” I asked him. 

“Yeah well...pudding.” I chuckled as I sensed him starting to come back together a bit, but also a bit of pain.

“You okay?” 

He chuckled and said, “headache.” Soon enough, Sam came back from talking with the person who makes the food. Apparently they do add something to the mix. “What kind of supplements?” Dean asked him.

Sam handed him a canned energy drink, “Here. Hey.” Dean opened it and drank from it as Sam explained, “To boost metabolism, per Larry and Maritza.” 

Sam handed me the bottle of supplements and Dean looked at it from my hands. He grabbed it, opened the bottle, and took a look at the pills inside. “These aren't ‘supplements’, they're roofies.” Dean told us. 

“What? How do you know what roofies look like?” I asked. 

“How do you _not_ know? You think I want to end up in a hotel bathtub with my kidney carved out? In Chechnya?” 

I shuffled a little from my place on the floor, “you’re not wrong there.” 

Dean then groaned. “Did you find anything out in the yoga?” 

“Yeah.” Sam said. “Yeah. _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_.” I raised my eyebrows at that. “Every single person in class had one of those freaky-ass suction marks.” 

“What the hell’s going on here?” I asked, completely stumped.   
…

Once Dean was in better shape, Sam and I knew we had to talk with Donna. Explain some of what things were going on. We knocked on the door, and she happily let us in. 

After we sat down she said, “You know, I didn't mean to bail on you guys, but I've been waiting over six months to get into Canyon Valley. And let me tell ya, it was worth it. I already lost 10 pounds!” She had a full wave of joy at that. 

“In-in one day?” Sam asked with a wave of concern. 

“No offense, Sheriff—'cause you look great—um, but aren't you the least bit curious as to how you dropped 10 in a day?” I asked. 

“Well, to tell you the truth, Agent, I don't really give a flyin' fudge.” A wave of joy as well a bit of grief came from her after a chuckle. “My husband, Doug, left me last year 'cause he said I loved cookie-dough milkshakes more than him.” 

I frowned at that. She seemed wonderful. Sam then said, “sorry to hear that.” 

“Yeah, Doug's a dick. You deserve better.” Dean said. I smiled a bit proudly at him for that. 

“Thanks. But he was right. That was a dark time for me. Whoever said you eat your pain? Not me. I guzzled it.” Donna laughed despite that sadness that came from her. “Anyhoo...I guess I just wanted to feel pretty again. And Canyon Valley did that. Only question is...What are you doing here?” 

A small wave of panic came from us, but Dean said, “We're, uh, uh...We're undercover.” 

She smiled, “Yeah. Sort of got that.” 

I smiled back, “We think that there's a connection between Canyon Valley and the murders in town.” 

“What kind of connection?” She asked worriedly. 

“Suction marks.” Sam told her. 

“You mean like this?” She asked with a wave of panic then lifted her shirt on her back. She had the same mark. 

“Yeah. Where did that come from?” 

“My spa treatment. Cupping.” 

“Cupping?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah. You know, I thought it was gonna hurt, but honestly, I snoozed through the whole thing. By the time I woke up, I was down two dress sizes.” 

“Before the cupping, did you eat any pudding?” 

She laughed, “Darn tootin’. Licked the bowl clean.” 

“Donna, do you remember who did this treatment?” I asked. 

“Oh, yah. You betcha.” She told us that it was Maritza herself who did the treatment, so Dean and I went off to find her, while Sam would go check out the treatment rooms. The first place we went to was the office. As we snooped around, one of the doors opened, so Dean and I hid behind a partition. 

It was Maritza. She was waving off fear and panic as she rushed to the fridge in the room and began cleaning it out. When she stopped and we heard a hissing noise, Dean and I came out with our guns drawn. She turned when Dean cocked his gun. 

“Okay, I'm no health nut, but that is just wrong.” He told her. She put down, what appeared to be a jar of yellow fat, and we tied her down to a chair. “Alright, talk.” He ordered.

She still wafted off fear as she said, “This isn't what you think. I'm not a killer.” She wasn’t lying. 

“Well, then, what are you?” I asked. 

“I’m a Pishtaco.” 

A wave of confusion came from Dean and I, as he said, “a fish taco?” 

“A _Pishtaco._ It means ‘Peruvian fat sucker’.”

Dean and I exchanged a look. I gave him a subtle nod that she was telling the truth. “Never heard of it. So, what, you're like vamps with a sweet tooth for cellulite?” 

“Vampires _kill_. We're just...Parasites.” 

He replied dryly. “Oh, well, in that case-“ 

“Look, I would never hurt anybody!” She said with a wave of fear. “Okay, this-this is why Larry and I started Canyon Valley. We could help people lose weight, and I could feed. It was a win-win.” 

“Yeah, except for the two you dysoned to death.” 

“That wasn’t me.” She said and looked up at me. 

“Well, then who was it?” I asked. 

A wave of fear and sadness came from her as she said, “Alonso.” 

“The dude from the cafeteria?” Dean said. 

“He’s my brother.” 

“So there’s two of you here?” I asked. She nodded then I turned to Dean. “Get a hold of Sam.” He stepped away and called him. Only to have a wave of frustration hit him. 

I stepped towards him. “Larry’s dead.” He whispered to me. My eyes grew wide as he said, “Sam’s on his way.” 

Soon enough Sam came back, and we broke the news to Maritza. Her grief overtook the room as she cried for him. After a few moments, she began to explain to us everything. “I brought Alonso here from Peru to show him a better way, a more civilized way. One where we weren't monsters.” A small wave of shame came from her. “That the secret to coexisting with humans was just...eating enough to get by.” 

“Let me guess. Alonso wasn't a big fan of portion control, was he?” Sam asked. 

“No. During a routine treatment, he almost killed a client. He sucked out too much fat. I demoted him to kitchen duty—no human contact, just fat from a jar. But he said the more I deprived him, the hungrier he got.” She began to sob as I placed a hand on her shoulder, “And now three people are dead. My husband…” 

I looked up at Sam a moment, then asked her, “Where’s Alonso right now?” 

“The-the basement? That's-that's where he spends most of his time now.” 

“What about her?” Sam asked lowly. 

“Well, till we figure out which side she's on, she stays put.” Dean said. 

“I am on your side.” She said bravely. 

“Okay. Then how do we kill him?” Sam asked. Despite the grief and fear, she told us. We locked her in the office and went into the back ways of the spa. We walked carefully in with knives. Finding the staircase down to the basement, Sam tried turning on the light but found it was busted. Dean quickly found some flashlights and tossed them to Sam and I. 

Walking into the dark, I let my walls fall in search of the monster, using my senses more than my flashlight. The first thing we found was blood marks and a perpendicular hallway going down two directions. Sam went down one way, and I stayed behind Dean down the other. 

We began checking doors, moving quickly and quietly. Eventually we found a door that was marked ‘private’ and opened it. I still couldn’t sense him, but we stayed cautious anyway. Soon enough we found an empty cot and empty jars.

When I heard crashing, Dean and I bolted out of the room and headed down the other end of the hallway. As we got closer, I could sense Sam’s fear and determination along with Alonso’s anger. Once we found them, Sam was pinned and Alonso was ready to strike a killing blow. Dean thankfully was quicker and ran up to them, narrowly cutting the massive tongue off the man. 

He screamed and fell dead right next to Sam. I ran up and checked him over as we were all breathing hard. Thankfully the monster was dead and we were all safe again. 

…

Maritza called the authorities, and Donna was a big help. We used out badges and undercover schtick to explain what happen and to account for the bodies. All but one. Alonso’s we had to dispose of differently. 

After speaking with the officers, Sam and I both saw Maritza sitting in an alcove off the hallway we were in. She was still waving off heavy grief. “Hey.” I said, as we walked over to her. 

“What did you tell the sheriff?” She asked. 

“The usual—psycho killer on the loose. They, uh...usually buy it.” Sam told her. 

In a quiet voice she said, “I lost my whole family today.” 

“I’m so sorry.” I told her. Before I could say anything more, Dean came up to us with a quiet anger. 

“Can I steal you a sec?” The three of us walked away from her. “Once this place clears out, we're gonna make this a family affair.” He nodded towards Maritza’s direction. 

“Wait, Dean. We're not gonna kill Maritza.” Sam said with the same confusion from both of us. 

“She’s a monster.” 

“Yeah, who saved our asses.” I told him. 

Dean looked up to Sam, “You said that you wanted to keep things strictly business. Well, last I checked, we were in the _business_ of killing monsters.” 

Sam had a sudden wave of protectiveness and anger. “I wanted to keep things strictly business between _us._ But I still have a heart. What if I had crossed paths with a hunter back when I was possessed by Gadreel? I could've ended up dead, too. Would I have deserved that? Would I have deserved to die?” 

Dean seemed to let go of it, despite the lingering anger. “So, one-way ticket to Peru?” 

“Yeah.” I said before he walked away. I looked up to Sam. “That doesn’t seem right.”

“Yeah, uh...yeah.” Sam said. We were both confused by it. Still, we had a job to do. 

We had Maritza pack a bag and sent her off back home. I felt terrible for her, losing so much in one day, but I figured she would be okay. Dean drove us all home uneventfully. That night went pretty much the same, until Sam and I were headed to bed. 

“We’re hitting it.” Sam said as we appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, finding Dean sitting at the table with a glass of whiskey. 

“Yeah.” I didn’t moved as I sensed a wave of conflict and frustration from Dean. “Hey.” 

“Yeah?” Sam asked. 

“About what you said the other day.” 

I sighed as Sam stepped forward a little and stayed quiet. His waves of frustration told me it all. “I thought it didn’t bother you.” 

Dean’s voice was soft, a rare thing to hear from him, “You know, Sam, I saved your hide back there. And I saved your hide at that church...And the hospital. I may not think things all the way through. Okay? But what I do, I do because it's the right thing. I'd do it again.” 

Even more frustration and anger came from Sam, “And _that_...is the problem. You think you're my savior, my brother, the hero. You swoop in, and even when you mess up, you think what you're doing is worth it because you've convinced yourself you're doing more good than bad...But you're not.” Dean just stared as his brother and I stayed silent. The pain and frustration in the room was heavy. “I mean, Kevin's dead, Crowley's in the wind. We're no closer to beating this angel thing. Please tell me, what is the upside of me being alive?” 

“Sam.” I said, suddenly concerned. 

Dean waved off shock. “You kidding me? You and me—the _three_ of us...fighting the good fight together.” 

Sam turned to me, even with the determination coming from him, the conflict in him was evident in his face, “can we have a minute?” He asked. 

I was shocked at first. It had been a long time since I wasn’t a bystander to one of their fights. They would lean on me for emotional support or I would be peace maker. Sam didn’t want me to hear his words or what he was going to put out there. I was a little hurt, but I knew he was trying to spare me from that. I grimaced and nodded. 

I walked down the hallway towards my room, half-tempted to walked back and eavesdrop, but I knew that was the last thing I needed to do. Ultimately this was a fight between the two brothers. _They need to work it out amongst themselves. I can’t fix all of their problems,_ I thought as I opened my door and closed it. _God I wish I could._ I could still feel the pain and anger they both had for each other faintly from across the place. 

I sat on the edge of my bed and waited for Sam to come in. I didn’t bother to change or to get ready to sleep. I wanted to talk about exactly what he said. And why. 

It left a pit in my stomach, but I calmed a little as I sensed Sam come closer to my room. Frustration and exhaustion wafted off him. I kept my face as neutral as possible. 

“Can we talk?” I asked when he opened the door. He nodded then took the chair from my desk and sat in front of me. He began waving off anxiety so I scooted closer and took his hand. “Hey, I’m not mad. I promise. But...what did you mean by...no upside to being alive?” 

In the single moment of quiet as he thought about his words, I wondered if he didn’t want to be alive. And it scared me half to death. Then he spoke, “After everything...Gadreel, Crowley, Kevin. If I just...died, no one else would have gotten hurt.”

Small pinpricks of tears came into his eyes. Hell, tears brimmed mine as his fear and shame came over him. “I would have been...” I replied. Sam gave me his puppy-dog eyes and confusion came over. “Sam...yes...Dean made an incredibly stupid and selfish decision. He made a mistake in trusting Gadreel. But...he saved you. He fought for you.” 

“He didn’t fight for me…” he said with a quiet anger, “he saved me for himself.” I pressed a palm to his face gently as I let my tears fall. 

“Yeah...because he loves you. You're his brother, his family. And I know you don’t want to trust him. But I want you to understand something...he saved me too.”

“What?” 

My voice was low as I focused on him. “Sam I love you...more than anyone in this world. I have gone through the death of people I love more times than most would deem fair. I don’t know what would have happened if I had to watch you die. It was bad Sam. And all I know is...I don’t think I would have survived it.” 

A few tears fell from his eyes as he closed them. I sensed his realization, but his frustration was still there. Before I knew it, he pulled me into his arms. He clutched my middle like I would disappear, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to hang on as my legs were pulled into his lap. We held onto each other, not wanting to let go for one second. Both suddenly grateful that we were alive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Captives, and the return of Kevin and Mrs. Tran


	14. The Captives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bunker is haunted by someone we never thought would come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, trying to hold myself back a little from posting here, cause I’ve hit a wall in motivation for all things. I’m working on season ten best I can, just been pretty slow going. So, I’ll probably have a break between posting pt. 3 and 4, just so I can get 4 finished. I think it’s cause I’m in a set of episodes I’m not totally in love with, but I’ll get through it. For now, enjoy the return of Kevin and badass Mrs. Tran!—Indigo

_“Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music and death a note unsaid.”_ —Langston Hughes

  
  
  


I hadn’t been sleeping well. Fueling myself with more caffeine than most would deem healthy and suffering through the night. Something had been keeping me up and it wasn’t the conflict between the boys. No, it was something within the bunker. And my dreams weren’t exactly helping. 

As of late in those times, it would float back to Gadreel. Paying special attention to the murder of Kevin Tran. After one particularly bad nightmare, I had to get out of bed. I snuck out of my side and grabbed a pillow. I figured I could try and sleep somewhere else to try from waking Sam. 

I dragged myself out of his room and towards the library. We had a few comfy chairs that I figured would work for a few hours of rest. And I also figured if I couldn’t sleep I could always read. I climbed into one and folded myself into a ball, wrapped up in the blanket and my head resting on the pillow. It wasn’t the comfiest, but I would try anything for some proper sleep. 

As I found my mind drifting, it happened. My spine warmed up and the air around me grew cold. My mind was fully awake and went to the one place I didn’t want to go. _There’s a ghost in our home._ I swallowed the bile at the back of my throat for the very idea, and opened my eyes to look around. I let my walls fall a little and watched for anything that wasn’t physically there. 

When the hairs of the back of my neck stood up, I got up from my chair and walled up my barriers. I grabbed my pillow and ran off in one direction, trying to get away from the cold and potential spirit. I reasoned I would speak with the boys on what I senesed in the morning, only wishing to find a safe place to sleep. My only thought was the Impala.

It’s metal exterior and simple sigils that I had secretly painted on the doors made the perfect retreat to get away. Luckily Dean kept it unlocked while in the garage, so all I had to do was open the door and climb into the backseat. 

I laid my head down and spent the next hour trying to rest. Trying to ignore the fact that a spirit was among us in the one place where I thought a spirit would never come wasn’t easy. 

Eventually I did fall asleep, only to be awoken by the brothers shouting for each other and for me. The fear and panic from them made me scramble out of the car, leaving the door wide open. 

I ran back into the place, my spine on fire and the lights around us flickering. Then a large body crashed into mine, or rather I crashed into him. “Sam? What the hell?” 

He didn’t say much as he yelled for Dean and grabbed my hand. “You feel it?” He asked as we rushed through the war room and into the library. Even the map table was flickering in and out. 

“Yeah.” I replied as Sam grabbed an iron sword off the wall. I let all of my barriers fall again as we stood in the room. It grew cold and I looked around for the aura. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I swung around to Sam behind me. Behind him, the aura was there, trying to manifest. “Sam!” 

Before he could whip around, a gun shot rang out and the spirit was gone. Sam and I both turned to the source to find Dean with one of the salt guns. “So…” Sam said, shock and panic coming from all three of us. 

“Yep.” Dean said. 

“Bunker’s haunted.” I said along with Dean as I looked around.

“You guys okay?” I asked. 

Dean nodded while Sam said, “yeah. Where were you?” 

I sighed. “You know how I’ve been having a hard time sleeping the last few days,” 

“Yeah.” 

“Well I woke up and decided to try and sleep somewhere else. I came in here,” I said gesturing towards the library, “and sensed something. It scared me, and I figured we could deal with it in the morning. So I...I slept in the Impala.” 

“Why were you hiding in Baby?” Dean asked. 

“Safest place I could think of after getting the shit scared out of me, Dean.” 

Both had a wave of amusement, then Dean replied, “get dressed and let’s figure this the hell out.” 

I went back to the car and grabbed my stuff from it. Then I went back to my room, keeping careful watch for the spirit. After getting quickly dressed, I soon found Sam in the kitchen packing salt rounds. He was waving off anxiety. “You okay?” I asked as soon as I stepped up and began helping him with the rounds. 

He nodded, “yeah. Just thinking.” 

Dean then entered the room just as anxious and bewildered. “How is this possible? I thought you said this was the safest place on the planet.” 

“Look, I know nothing got in.” Sam replied. “I mean, the bunker is warded and sigiled from top to bottom. There's no way something came in from the outside.” 

“Okay, so whoever’s haunting us died here.” I mused while taking up one of the guns and loading it, pointed away from the brothers of course. 

“What, dead man of letters?” Sam asked. 

“No, that doesn't track. I mean, we're the first people to occupy this place in 50 years.” Dean asked with a wave of confusion, “Why would a ghost wait so long to get its spook on?” 

“And I would have sensed it before now…” I added. 

“Must have been a _more_ recent death.” Sam said, and all of our minds went to Kevin. 

“No.” Dean said defensively, and with guilt. 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“Because I burned his body myself, okay? It's not him.” 

“Okay, so you cremated him. We cremated Bobby, too, and he came back.” 

As the boys went back and forth, with grief filling the room, my spine lite on fire again. I froze my movements as I looked up with fallen walls. There was a single aura in a bright green. I sensed pure determination and love from it, but also anger and frustration. _Kevin._

“Guys.” I said in a barely audible whisper. 

Dean didn’t hear me. “Sam, I'm telling you—this ghost, it's not Kevin.” Then as if on que, the coffeemaker next to the aura started going off. It’s lights and digital clock went crazy as we all stared at it, the incessant dinging telling us what I knew. 

“Kevin?” Sam called out to the damned thing. 

I almost dropped the salt gun as a coffee mug exploded next to the aura. “Ooh.” Dean said with a wave of realization. 

“Kevin?” I said as I set the gun down carefully. I could still see the aura, wavering now. “I’m sorry.” I whispered. Then it waved out. The warmth on my spine left me. 

“Where is he?” Sam asked. 

I just shook my head. “He’s gone for now. I need some air.” I said then quickly left the room. Heading straight for the bunker door, I needed to get away from the spiritual activity. Once I was outside, I sat on the steps of the place and just focused on breathing. The sudden realization and shock of Kevin being stuck in the vale only made my grief and guilt of his death worsen. 

The sound of the metal door announced that one of the brothers came out to talk to me. It was Sam. I didn’t look up from my hands as I sensed him approach me. He just sat next to me and threw an arm around my shoulders. I sniffled a little and said lowly, “I should have done something…I was right there.” 

“I know...I know.” He said rubbing my arm gently. Guilt came over him. I knew he still thought it was his fault, “it’s not your fault.” He said, as if he heard my thoughts, 

I sighed a little, “it’s not yours either,” I said looking up. He looked back at me with his puppy dog eyes, tears pin pricking them. He only smiled a little then kissed my forehead sweetly.

…

After calming down, it was decided that the boys would take turns keeping watch over the coffeemaker, seemingly that it was the only thing that Kevin was able to make noise or light. I stayed in the war room, with my senses on and reading. It was causing way too much anxiety on my part to watch, so I would only come in if I sensed anything urgent. 

When Dean went to relieve Sam for a shift, I went in to hear an update. As I walked into the kitchen, my spine warmed a little and I could see his aura, but it wasn’t strong enough yet. “Anything?” Dean asked. 

“Eh, a couple of dings. A little EMF activity, but mostly...silence.” Sam said a little defeated. 

“So, he's back in the veil.” 

“No...he’s here.” I said nodding in the direction of the aura. “He hasn’t figured out manifesting yet.” 

Waves of defeat and frustration came into the room. From both boys and the aura of Kevin. “I guess so.” Sam said. “Fumbling to break through. I mean, you got to figure it took Bobby months to make contact.” 

“Kevin's only...He's new at this.” Dean said with a new wave of guilt and grief. I pressed a gentle hand to his arm. I had the same guilt over the kid. 

“Right.” Sam stood up. “Alight, you’re up.” As he passed me, Sam pressed a hand to my shoulder as I stared at the aura. I nodded gently and moved away. 

Sam and I didn’t speak as we returned to the war room. I sat down and tried to get back to reading, but my spine lit up. I looked back towards the kitchen. “Somethings happening.” I said. 

Sam looked up at me with wonder then we both got up. We walked briskly in the hallway just to see the lights flickering and Dean’s back towards the coffeemaker. Sam had a wave of hope. “Hey, did you see that? The-the lights were…” 

He stopped talking as the stronger green aura in front of me shifted. Kevin was finally manifesting. He began to mutter to himself as his form became clear again. “No, this is not happening. Didn't spend months struggling to break through the veil just to get stuck listening to Dean Winchester having a self-pity session. Didn't hear enough of those when I was alive.” 

I chuckled a bit as we all stared at him. “Kevin?” Dean said. 

A wave of shock came from the kid. “You can see me?” He flickered again. 

“Hey, take it easy, Kevin.” Sam said. “You might not hold this form for too long, okay? I-it takes a while.” 

“Then we should talk fast.” 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Dean said. “Why aren't you in—in heaven? I mean, if anybody deserves an express pass to paradise-”

Kevin was still flickering in and out as waves of horror came in the room. “I couldn't. I can't. No one can. Heaven's closed for business. Everyone who's died since the angels fell are just stuck inside the veil, waiting. And it's bad in here. Like DMV-line-times-infinity bad.” 

“Well, I mean, what can we do?” Sam asked. 

“I need a favor—big one.” 

“Okay.” I said. 

“Find my mother.” He said with a wave of pure determination. 

“Kevin.” Sam said with waves of sadness. 

“Crowley only told you she was alive to mess with you.” Dean told him. 

“I'm not going off his word. I have my own sources. It's crowded in the veil. All of us are stuck near the sites of our deaths. But I've been able to pass messages spirit to spirit. I made contact with another new arrival. She said she saw my mom just a week ago, alive.” 

“Okay, this-this spirit that you're playing ghost telephone with, I mean, what do you even know about her?” 

“Her name's Candy. Says she's in a forest in Wichita.” 

“Candy?” 

“That’s it? That’s all you got?” Sam asked. 

“Long-distance communication within the veil—it's not ideal. That's why I need you to go there, summon her, see what else she knows. You say you want to make it right? This is how.” Kevin then faded away. I could still sense his aura, but much weaker. 

“Ever heard of that ESP?” Dean asked me. 

“Once. We gotta try. If Mrs.Tran is alive...we have to find her. We owe her that. We owe both of them that.” I said then left the room towards my own. We needed to get to Wichita. 

…

Right before we left, Kevin made contact again and gave Sam some info about Candy. So we left quickly and found ourselves in the woods that cloudy afternoon. It was on the chilly side as we walked towards it. 

“Alright, that's the trestle.” Sam said once we saw it, “Candy said her spirit was stuck nearby.” 

“She died here?” I asked, my walls down again trying to sense the spirit. We walked underneath it looking around. 

“Yeah.” 

“Dude, what got her? A bear?” Dean asked with a wave of frustration. 

“I'm still stuck on the fact that we're trying to summon a ghost named Candy.” Sam said, as he put down the bag that contained the things we needed for the summoning, “You know, just 'cause Kevin said he heard his mom is alive doesn't mean she-”

“Hey, we at least owe it to the kid to try, right?” 

“What’d you bring?” I asked after a quiet moment between the brothers. 

Dean dug through the bag he brought and took out a radio. He then hung it on a nail on one of the posts. “Well, she's only been dead a week, right? So I figured she could use as much help as she can get, so…” Dean then pulled out the freakin’ coffee maker.

“Smart.” I commented, still tuning into the energies. 

“Really?” Sam asked with a wave of annoyance. 

“Whatever works.” Dean replied. So we pulled out the crap to summon her and waited. Waited for a long time hoping that she would come to us. It was after dark, and we could only really see by the moonlight and the lanterns we brought with us. 

We sat on a few crates waiting as Sam grew impatient, then had a wave of panic as the hair on the back of my neck stood up. “You feel that? I think I felt a chill.” He said with a wave of hope. 

“Yeah. It’s ‘cause it’s cold.” Dean said not looking up from his phone. I rolled my eyes and stood up. I began pacing, rubbing my hands together from the cold looking for the spirit, also avoiding the circle of lit candles. Dean then started a phone call, only to send another wave of frustration as he left a message. “Crowley, it's Dean. Call me when you get this.” 

“Really, Dean?” Sam asked. 

“What?” 

“That's your third unanswered voicemail. You ever think maybe he's just not that into you?” I would have laughed if I didn’t feel my spine warm at a new presence. 

“Well, he is our last _confirmed_ link to Ms. Tran.” Dean said as I looked up to the radio. Next to it was a yellow aura waving off fear. “Yes, he is a flaming douche, but at least we know he's real, which is more than we can say for this Candy no-show.” 

“Shut up.” I said quickly as the radio suddenly buzzed to life. The boys jumped from their seats. “Candy? Are you there?” I called out. 

“Is that you, Candy?” Sam asked with a wave of hope. 

“Hello?” Hello?” A female voice came from the radio as more static came in. 

“Adjust the frequency.” I said as Sam and Dean messed with it. I looked up to the aura. “Candy...I can sense you, but we can’t hear you. You need to use the radio okay. Can you tell us anything about Kevin’s mom?” 

Sam then had a wave of excitement and hope as he said, “There-There-There-Stop-Stop-Stop. Candy?” 

“...in the box. They put me in the box.” She was crying. “All of us in boxes, side by side. Me, Jerome, Linda.” 

Dean was confused at the name. “Linda’s-“

“Ms. Tran.” Sam told him. “Candy, these boxes, where were they?” 

“I don't know. They were cold. Dark. There-there was a vent. We could talk to one another.” 

“Okay, and the walls, can you describe them?” I asked straight to the aura. 

“Bare. Cement. Except for the door. That was...metal, but...like, ridged.” 

“Ridged? You mean like corrugated?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah! I tried to lift the door, but I couldn't. Locked from the outside.” 

“Like a storage unit?” I asked the boys. 

“Maybe.” Sam replied. “Candy, who was holding you there?” 

“Two men. It was so dark in the box. When they came, I could barely see.” She was waving off so much fear. “The-the first guy was British, I think. Kind of short, loved hearing himself talk.” 

“Crowley.” I said with waves of anger from all three of us. “And what do they want?” I asked. 

“Said I was worth more alive than _dead_. But he stopped coming. Then it was just the other guy. We thought with just him...we'd try to escape. I ran so hard, so far, but…” more static sounded, and regret came from her. 

“Candy? Candy, are you there?” I called out. “What about Ms. Tran? Candy?” 

“I don't know. Maybe she survived.” 

“Maybe? That's not what you told her son.” Dean said. 

“I said she _was_ alive. I don't know what happened after. For her sake, I hope she's dead.” With that, Candy was gone from the radio. As the static became the only noise both boys looked at me. 

“She’s gone.” I said with a sigh as the aura faded away. The boys and I cleaned up the place and hid our tracks, then went straight to the Impala. Dean drove us back to the motel where Sam started some research. We all got into our Fed threads, thinking we could by pass the searching a little, though I doubted it since we couldn’t exactly produce a search warrant. 

Despite that, once we were good, we all climbed back into the car and drove off. 

Sam than began telling us his findings. “Okay, there are three storage facilities nearby. The closest one is about a mile up the road.” I sat up and looked over his shoulder from the back seat. “Oh, and I, uh—I dug up some stuff on Candy. Turns out she was the kept woman of a powerful Congressman. Gossip blog said he worshiped the ground she walked on, _literally._ He, uh-had a foot fetish.” 

“Okay,” I said, slightly uncomfortable. 

Dean then said, “So, Crowley was holding the beloved tootsies of a powerful politician?” We both chuckled. 

“And the beloved mother of a powerful Prophet.” Sam said. 

“Human leverage.” 

“But why kill Candy?” I asked. 

“Well, you heard her.” Sam replied. “Uh, she tried to make a break for it. Maybe Crowley wanted to make an example.” 

“Nah. No. The guy left in charge. Crowley wanted the victims alive.” Dean said with a small wave of protectiveness. 

I raised an eyebrow at Dean. Sam then said, “So, what, you want to give him a medal? I mean, Crowley's the one who put them in the cells in the first place.” 

“Yeah, I know. I'm just talking it out. You know, working the case. Businesslike.” Dean said. 

Sam grunted a little in frustration and rolled his eyes. I sighed tired of the bickering. “Get the addresses and we’ll check them out tomorrow.” I said before slumping back into the seat. 

…

Unfortunately we came up empty with the first two places, so when we walked into the last one, with frustration and annoyance in the air between the three of us, we were all on our last nerves. As we approached the empty front desk, Dean mused, “Let me guess—5'5", pasty white, black-rimmed hipster glasses just like the last place.” 

He rang the bell, and a young man fitting the description perfectly came in waving off some pleasantness but also determination. Dean also waved off some smugness as he said to us lowly, “nailed it.”

I internally rolled my eyes as the young man said, “Can I help you?” His name tag told me he was called, Del. 

“Yeah, hi.” I said with a smile. The three of us pulled out our badges. “Agents Nicks, McVie, and Green.” 

“Need to take a look at your, uh, rental records.” Dean told him. 

A small wave of panic came from the man. “Uh, my manager's not here. I really don't think I should—“ 

A wave of frustration came from Dean, “Hey! The records, pal.” 

“Yeah. Barry! Bring out the rental binder!” Del called out with a wave of fear. Another young man, who matched Dean’s description as well came in with a binder. The boys exchanged a look, with Dean being very amused as the man out the binder in front us. “There you go, sir.” 

I started thumbing through it, with Dean looking over my shoulder, while Sam took a look at a map on the wall. “Hey.” He said to us lowly with a wave of realization, and had us come over, “Okay, check it out. Corridor ‘Q.’ Three adjacent units separate from the others. I mean, Candy said there were three hostages, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

I looked up the record and found it. I said, “okay. It’s all leased by the same guy,” I smirked a bit, “a D. Webster.” 

“D. Webster? Wait. As in, like, Daniel Webster?” Sam asked. 

“Well, I know a lame Crowley in-joke when I see one.” Dean said. 

Then Del spoke up, “you guys say ‘D. Webster?’” 

“Yeah.” We walked back to the counter, “Yeah, you-you seen him?” 

“Uh, no, just...I know his name from the records. He's leasing another unit on the other side of the facility. I could show you.” I raised an eyebrow at his determination and realization. 

“Yeah. That’d be great.” Dean then said to us. “Alright, why don't you two take corridor ‘Q?’ I'll go with, uh, Del the funky homosapien.” 

“Be Careful. I don’t like that guy.” I told him. He nodded then left. Soon enough, Sam and I went off to the corridor. As we passed on of the doors, I sensed a familiar motherly presence. “She’s here.” I whispered to Sam. 

He quickly picked the lock and we got it opened in a few minuets. There we found Mrs. Tran alive and chained to the floor. She shrunk away in fear as we approached. We rushed towards her as Sam said, “Ms. Tran! Ms. Tran! Hey-Hey-Hey! Hey, it's me. It's Sam. It's Sam.” 

I also said it was me as I crouched next to her. She said our names through the gag. “Oh, my god. Your alive.” I said with a teary smile as I took it off. 

“We have to get out of here before it comes back. Is Kevin with you?” Our faces fell as we worked to get the chain off her leg. The door closed with us inside. 

“No. No!” Sam said as he rushed to the door but it was too late it was locked. He banged against it then looked up to a camera in the corner.

“Dammit.” I sighed in frustration. He was waving off panic. “Sam.” I said firmly. He turned to me and calmed a little. He took a breath then came back to us. He handed me his Swiss Army knife and we began to get the shackles off Mrs. Tran. “Are you alright?” I asked. 

“I’m fine. Just get these off me.” I nodded as we got them off. 

“Here we go. Alright,” Sam said. 

I checked out her bruised wrists as she said, “Oh. There's a-there's an electrical line, leads to the control panel.” Sam went over as I helped her up. 

Sam pried off the panel only to see a mess of wires, and said, “Okay, this might take a while.” 

Mrs. Tran then grabbed the Swiss Army knife and got to work. “We have to unplug the ground wire first. If this is standard U.S. color coding, it should be the green one.” I smirked as we were both surprised by her again. 

“Okay.” 

“Helping Kevin with his engineering-club assignments, I picked up a thing or two. I'm sure he insisted, but I trust you weren't foolish enough to bring Kevin along on this mission.” She said with waves of protectiveness and hope. That brought tears to my eyes. “That you left him someplace safe?” 

“Of course.” Sam said quietly with waves of guilt and grief. 

“Good. Now all we have to do is get this door open, get the hell out of here, and you will bring me to my son.” Sam and I exchanged a look, and we both knew we couldn’t lie to her. 

I took her hand. “Listen. Mrs. Tran.” My voice cracked as the tears streamed down my face. The way her face fell and her grief told me she knew. Still a new wave of determination and anger came from her. 

“You will take me to my son.” She said as she went back to the wires. “Flashlight. Flashlight!” Sam raised his flashlight to the box. 

It took her a bit, but she managed to get it open. We rushed out searching for Dean. Mrs Tran told us it was the kid named Del who kept her captive. I kept an arm around Mrs. Tran as we ran through the place. When we did find Dean, he was pinned by the demon with a knife to his throat. 

Sam rushed at them as he raised the knife to stab the older brother. Dean kicked him off as Sam attacked him. After one punch, the demon was out cold. As anger and grief came from Mrs. Tran, I took her out of the room so the boys could tie the demon up. “It’s over. Okay? It’s over.” I said to her. 

She nodded. “Thank you.” 

“Okay, can I see those wrists now?” She let me take them into my hands. I worked my grace gently over them, making the cuts and bruises disappear. _At least I can take some of the pain away,_ I thought as I stood in her grief. 

There was a quiet for a few minutes, then the boys came in with an offer for Mrs. Tran. She took it. We let her wait outside a moment as the three of us went in to face the now tied up demon. He was awake now. 

“Do it. Kill me.” He said. 

“No, we’re saving you for someone else.” Sam told him. 

“Crowley.” He said with a wave of fear and anticipation. 

“Much worse.” I replied with a smirk. Sam held out the knife as Mrs. Tran came in. She stared him down with fury. 

“Do the honors, Ms. Tran.” Dean said. 

“With pleasure.” She said as she took the knife. All three of us were pissed, but Mrs. Tran was leagues beyond us. 

“Hey, lady. I swear. I was just following ord-”

He was cut off as Mrs. Tran stabbed him through the heart. As the demon faded away, there was a new wave of determination. “Take me to my son.” 

…

We got Mrs. Tran cleaned up and took her back to the bunker. Over the long car ride, we explained to her what happened to Kevin. Despite her grief, she was understanding and was more determined to get to her son. 

When we returned, we asked Mrs. Tran to wait a minute or two to make contact with Kevin. As soon as we walked in, I had my walls down and looked around the war room. “Kevin? You here? Kev?” Dean called out. 

I spotted his strong green aura almost immediately as it came into the room. Then Kevin manifested, “well?” 

I smiled, “we got her. She’s alive. She’s here.” I told him. Relief came from him. 

“But we wanted to give you a moment to...You know, process.” Dean said. 

“Oh. I uh...Does she know?” 

Mrs. Tran couldn’t take it anymore, she came in behind him. “Kevin?” After a moment of their eyes meeting, her smiling, “Hello, son.” She said.

“Hey, mom.” 

I started to tear up as she cried again, “Oh.” I walked up to her and pressed my hand to her shoulder. 

“We can give you guys a few minutes...if you want.” She nodded and the three of us left the room. After giving them some time, Dean fetched the few boxes that contained Kevin’s things. When they were ready, we brought them into the library and started going through it. 

“So, this is, uh—this is all of it.” Dean told her. “You know, hunter's tools—notebooks, papers, pencils, P.S.A.T. results.” He picked up the paper with a wave of pride. “Perfect score. Way to go, kid.” 

I smiled at that. Then Mrs. Tran took out a ring from a box. “This. This is it. His father's. Mr. Tran died when Kevin was a baby. It's the only piece of his father Kevin ever had. If Kevin's s-spirit is bound to some object here...This is it.” 

“Can I see it?” I asked. “I could sense if it is.”

“Wait you can?” Dean asked me as she handed it to me. It was so warm with Kevin’s energy, I almost dropped it. I gave it back to her. 

“Yes. Remember how I never touched Bobby’s flask?” Then I turned to Kevin’s mom. “That’s it.” 

She nodded as she held it close to her heart. Dean then told her with a wave of protectiveness, “Listen, Ms. Tran. There's a lot that we don't know about this heaven situation. There are _risks_ to taking Kevin home with you. Now, spirits, the longer that they're in the veil, they have a way of...Well, it doesn't end up well.”

“He's my son. It's my job to keep him safe for as long as I can.” She replied with a wave of determination. Dean nodded then walked away. 

“Mrs. Tran…” I started, tears coming into my eyes again, “I’m so sorry. You trusted us to protect him...and...I was too late. I’m sorry.” 

She smiled gently and said, “I know. You did everything you could. Thank you.” I nodded. Then helped her gather the rest of Kevin’s things. Once it was all packed up, Kevin manifested at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Hey.” I said to him. 

“Hey.” He replied, “thanks for getting my mom back.” 

“Of course.” Sam said coming up behind me. Dean was there too. 

“She was held and tortured for a year because of me. Now that I found her, I'm not letting her out of my sight. She's my responsibility.” 

A wave guilt came from Sam, “And you were ours. And we failed you. I-”

“Sam. I know that wasn't you. Go put a blade in that asshat who possessed you and we'll call it square.” I chuckled a little as Sam nodded gratefully. I pressed my hand to his. “And you…” Kevin said to me. “I know you tried your best...it was bad timing. You don’t have to feel guilty anymore.” 

I smiled and nodded, “thank you.” 

Kevin replied to all three of us, “guys. Thank you.” 

“You can thank us when we get you to heaven where you belong.” Dean replied. “Okay, until then, enjoy your time with your mom. The, uh, uninterrupted, 24/7, no-escape quality time.” 

“Dick.” Kevin said with a wide smile, “Hey, before I go...Will you guys promise me something?” He said to the brothers. 

“Yeah.” 

“Anything.” Sam replied. 

“Can you two...Get over it? Dudes, just 'cause you couldn't see me doesn't mean I couldn't see you. The drama, the fighting...It's stupid. My mom's taking home a ghost. You three...You're all still here.” 

“Of course. Promise.” Sam said to my surprise. 

“Yeah.” Dean said. There was some tension, but there wasn’t anger between them thankfully. 

“Good.” Kevin said finally. Then they both went up the stairs to leave. Mrs. Tran had rented a car, and she would be headed somewhere safe with her son. Sam then let go of me and went down the corridor. I waited for Dean’s response. 

Dean said as he turned. “Well, that was…” he saw that Sam left and sent off a wave of defeat. “Yeah, okay.” 

“Hey.” I said. “He’s just not ready yet. He will be. Sometime soon, hopefully.”

Dean smirked a little. “Yeah, hope so.” He then walked away to his own room. I sighed myself and went towards Sam’s knowing that’s where he would be. 

I knocked and was given the okay to come in. Sam was just laying in bed staring at the ceiling. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah. Yeah...just thinking.” 

I smiled then laid next to him. Staring at the ceiling too, though his hand quickly found mine. “Penny for your thoughts?” I asked gently. 

He smiled a little, then said, “just...everything I guess. Kevin especially.” 

I rubbed my thumb into his hand gently. “I know. He’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure it out. Gadreel has to show himself sometime.” 

He nodded. “I know…” 

“And your brother?” I asked. 

“Yeah...I don’t know...I still feel like I can’t trust him.” 

“I understand. It’s really difficult to fix trust. Incredibly...but no matter what, I’ll always be here for you.” He looked at me with a small smile. 

“I know.” He said and I smile back. I knew that they would get there one day, but it wasn’t that day. Still I was grateful. My boys were safe and sound. It was enough for the time being.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, one of my favorites of the season, #thinman!


	15. #thinman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys and I are on another case when we stumble upon the Ghostfacers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I live this episode! Enjoy—Indigo

_“It is not the pain, It’s who it came from.”_ —Drishti Bablani 

  
  


It was a quiet week in the bunker for the most part. Anything research wise was coming up empty as Sam and I sat down in the library for another day of research and lore. I was about to give up and see if Sam wanted to catch a movie or something, when Dean came through the room. He had a duffel bag and was heading towards the stairs. 

“Alright. I’ll be back.” He said. 

“Wait. Where are you headed?” Sam asked him. 

“Washington. I caught a case.” He said with a small wave of guilt. 

“Without us?” I asked. 

Sam also asked, “You want us to come with?” 

“Do you want to come?” Dean asked. More to Sam directly. 

“On a hunt? Why wouldn’t I?” 

“I don't know, man.” Dean said with a wave of frustration, “'Cause lately with you, up is down and down is sideways, you know? I-I-I don't know what you want.” Sam proceeded to glare at him with a wave of frustration of his own. 

I sighed. “We want to come.” I said simply, trying to defuse the tension. Dean then walked over 

“Okay. You want in? Fine.” He put down the bag. “Sure thing.” He took out a paper from his jacket pocket and slid it over to us. “Photo leaked from the crime scene. Girl was murdered in her room, doors were locked, the windows were locked.” 

It was a selfie of a teen girl with a dark figure in the background. “Who’s the wallflower?” Sam asked. 

I gave Dean a look as he said, “Exactly. Best guess—ghost caught on film. 

“You were gonna leave _me_ for a ghost case?” I asked, shocked and a little offended, then stood up to gather my things. 

After a small wave of guilt, Dean said, “So, you're coming?” 

Sam packed up his laptop. “Does it look like I’m staying?” Sam said back. I ignored him and ran off to my room. He had been hot and cold with Dean as of late, and I understood where both were coming from. It was just difficult to be around sometimes. 

Soon enough, the three of us were packed up in the Impala and were off to Washington. The ride there was uneventful. The next day, we used our FBI ruse to speak with the mother of the victim. In heavy waves of grief, she showed us her daughter’s practically untouched room. Most specifically the closet floor which had a missing patch of carpet. 

“I scrubbed for hours. I'll have to rip up the carpet. My daughter, Casey...She picked out the color herself.” 

“We’re very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Miles.” I told her gently. “You mentioned Casey had no known enemies. What about at home? Anything unusual you may have noticed?” 

Sam then spoke up, “Uh...Electricity acting up or lights...flickering, TV on the Fritz?” 

“No, no fritzing.” She said without the usual wave of confusion. “No cold spots, either.” 

We were all surprised by that. She didn’t seem like the type who would even know about what we were after. Dean said, “Sorry. Out of curiosity, uh...Why do you mention cold spots?” 

“I'm sorry. That must sound strange, but...it's been three days since...And the police have found _nothing._ ” She said with a wave of defeat. “I'd h-I'd have to sell my house to afford a private investigator, so when the Supernaturalists called-“

I raised my eyebrows at the strange name, and Dean said, “Whoa, uh, sorry, the...Um...Supernaturalists?” 

“I know to the FBI it's not exactly orthodox. But these men had answers that no one else had, and I-I owe it to Casey...to listen.” 

Sam and I exchanged a quick look as I said, “Now they brought up cold spots in relation to…?” 

“Signs of the paranormal, I suppose. They're coming by today to take a look.” Now she had a wave of hope. By the boys’ anger, they were thinking the same thing I was. This lady is being duped. 

“And did these Supernaturalists give you a name?” Dean asked. As soon as she did, we quickly excused ourselves. The boys recognized it and they both were very annoyed and pissed off. 

“Who the hell are the _Ghostfacers_?” I asked as we got into the Impala. 

“These guys we’ve had run-ins with on hunts. It started with a freakin’ Tulpa.” Sam explained as Dean started driving. “They had this website where they posted Amateur paranormal investigations.” 

“They're a bunch of douchebags who just get in the damn way.” Dean said with a fresh wave of anger. 

“Gee Dean, tell me how you really feel,” I said dryly. “Okay, so they mess with the supernatural every now and again, and have gotten in your way a few times. Why are you so pissed?” Dean just grumbled a bit. I sighed. “Sam, why don’t you tell me a bit more?” 

So as we drove around, I got a bit more info. They had a few close calls over the years because of these guys and their endeavor to make it big in the entertainment industry with ghosts. They earned my pity when I found out one of their friend died during a case with a ghost. These guys just didn’t know what they were doing. 

Then Dean found them in the parking lot of a diner. It wasn’t hard since they had a big white van with the word Ghostfacers written across it. We got out of the Impala and checked there first. “Son of a bitch.” Dean said with a huge wave of annoyance. 

“They must be inside.” I said then turned towards the restaurant. “What are we gonna do? Talk to them?” 

“Yeah. Scare them straight.” Dean replied under his breath. I sighed again and knew that he was strung up a bit. Still I sensed quite a bit of anger. It surprised me coming from Dean. _What is bothering him?_ I asked myself. 

We walked in the diner and the boys zeroed in on two men sitting in a booth. Both in their thirties, one had dark hair and eyes, as well as a blue track suit and was staring at his phone, while the other had red hair, a beard, and hipster glasses on his own cell phone. 

Both Sam and Dean quickly slid in with them in their booth. I quickly grabbed a chair as the two newcomers had waves of pure annoyance. “Ah, the Winchesters. Yay.” The track suit said. 

“Says nobody.” Said the hipster. 

“Ever.” 

I then sat down and they both stared at me. “She’s new.” 

“Hi.” I said warily. I then introduced myself. 

“I’m Ed, this is Harry.” Hipster said with a smirk, “now what’s a pretty girl like you doing with these two idiots.” Sam had a small wave of jealous as I just politely smiled. 

Dean then had enough. “Alright, shut up and listen. This is how it's gonna go. You two clowns are gonna get into that mystery machine outside, and you're gonna leave town or I'm gonna put holes in your knees.” 

I was ready to knock some sense into Dean for the threat, but both Ed and Harry just rolled their eyes. Then a waiter came up. “Can I get you guys anything? Something, uh…” 

“Uh, we’re ready for the bill.” 

Then the waiter was called out by his boss and he scurried away. Then Harry said, with a wave of pure confidence after a loud slurp of his coffee, “Ahh, first of all, you guys don't scare us.” 

“Not at all.” Ed replied. 

Harry then lifted his shirt to reveal a little pistol in his waistband. “Say ‘hola’ to my little pistola.” 

Dean just gave off a wave of annoyance, “Am I supposed to be impressed with that treasure trail or the lady gun you got hiding in your, uh, pants there?” I fought a chuckle on that. 

“Uh...both?” 

“Yeah, honey.” I replied. “ _I_ even pack more than that, so...” Both of my boys had a wave of pride at that one. 

Still Harry said, “Look, whether you like it or not, we are handling this situation.” 

“Yup.” Ed said in support. 

“Really?” Dean asked with even more annoyance and anger. 

“Mm-Hmm.” 

“'Cause I see a couple of fame whores who are pointing their camera at a mom who just _lost_ her kid.” 

“Guys, we are investigators, and we have every right-”

“No. no, you don’t. You know why? 'Cause you're just gonna get in our way.” 

“Or you’re gonna get somebody else killed.” Sam told them. 

“That's right. So, you can either walk out of here...or _crawl_. Up to you.” 

Both of the so-called ‘investigators’ looked to me. I smile a bit and shrugged. Harry then sent out a wave of annoyance as well. “Oh, my God, _Menudo._ Will you guys relax? We know what we're doing.” 

“Yup.” Ed said in support again. 

I raised an eyebrow at that while Dean said, “Really? And what about the rest of the Bad News Bears, huh? Where's the-where's the fat one? And-and the girl? There was a girl, right?” He asked Sam who nodded in response. 

Ed had a wave of shame, “They-we dropped them. They were-they were dead weight.” He lied. 

“Well, t-they're still alive.” Harry said. 

“They're-no, they're totally alive.” 

I then said to Sam, “well that’s good to hear.” 

“I see. So, it's just the, uh, the dumpy duo, then. Well, that's great. So, here's the deal. A ghost...Will land you two dead in five seconds flat.” Now I saw what Dean meant by scared straight. 

Harry then chuckled mockingly at us. “A ghost? Oh. They think it's a ghost.” 

“No,” Ed said with a smile. 

“It's so _not_ a ghost.”

“Okay. We'll bite.” Sam asked mockingly, “What do _you_ think it is?” 

Harry had a wave of excitement and turned to Ed, “Can I-can I do it this time?” 

“You got it.” 

“Okay. I've waited all my life for this. Amazon me, _bitches_.” He then said directly to me, “no offense.” 

Dean was beyond annoyed at this point, “I will shoot you...bitches.” 

“Like we were saying, you were just going, right? Great.” Sam said. 

“Good talk.” To which Dean punctuated with a good old pat on Ed. They both got up and left the booth. 

“Fifty shades of way too much protein!” Harry called out as I walked away. 

I sighed as I stopped. _That_ had been the last straw for me. Both boys waited as I turned and went back to their table. I put on a fake smiled and leaned on my hands against the table. Both looked up at me with sudden wonder. “I suggest you leave. Because if you take a dig into my boyfriend over there like that again...I’ll kick both your asses so fast you won’t even see it coming. Solo. Got it?” Silence from them. “Wonderful.” Pure shock came from them as I walked briskly away. Both Sam and Dean had pure waves of pride and surprise at my sudden and rare verbal threat. 

“What was that?” Sam asked with a wave of amusement as well. 

“Defending both of y’all’s honor. As an amazing girlfriend should.” I said with a smirk, and we left the diner. 

…

The three of us went back to the motel to get some research done. Course, Sam wanted to know what ‘Amazon me’ meant by Harry, so that was the first thing he looked up after we sat down. A wave of surprise came over him as he said, “Uh...Dean?” 

“Yeah?” He was in the middle of taking off his suit jacket and rolling up his sleeves. 

“Ed and Harry wrote a book.” 

“What?” I raised my eyebrows at that, then leaned over to take a look at the website. 

“Yeah.” Sam read off, “Uh, ‘The Skinny on Thinman,’ by America's foremost Supernaturalists.” 

“What the hell’s a Thinman?” I asked. 

“I don’t know. Um…” Sam then pulled up a picture on the sight, and the same looking figure that killed our vic was in it behind a person running. “Woah. Check that out, though.” Dean came over. “That does kind of look like whatever was behind Casey Miles, right?” 

“Or Garth if somebody shaved his face off. Big whoop.” I chuckled at Dean’s joke. 

Sam then looked into it more. “Here we go.” He said, “Uh, ‘Thinman’—an urban legend started on the world wide web—lurks in the background of his victims' lives until he's ready to kill them.’”

I furrowed my eyebrows at that and exchanged a look with Dean. “Yeah, because everything started on the Internet is true.” He replied dryly. “Like, uh, oh, the shark attacking a helicopter—they write the book on that one, too?” 

“Dude, real or not, thousands of people have posted to the site. It's like Thinman is the new Bigfoot or something.” 

“Yeah, it’s probably just as real then.” I said dryly. 

“Or Thinman is just a ghost with a brand name.” Dean said with a wave of disbelief. 

“You saying that 'cause you really think it's a ghost or because you don't like the Ghostfacers?” Sam asked him. 

“Hey, don’t forget—we hit EMF in Casey’s room.” 

“Right, but the house was next door to power lines, which can affect the read.” 

“Plus _my_ alarm bells didn’t go off.” I told them. 

Dean was still on it. “A girl died in a locked room, Sam—spells _ghost_ right there.” 

“Maybe it got in there before it was locked up.” Sam replied. “Who knows, Dean? But how can people all over the world see the same ghost? Spirits don't exactly hop around.” 

“I know that. But right now, the veil is all kinds of screwed, okay? Ghosts could be popping up anywhere.” 

“Yeah, but, Dean, Thinman sightings date back a couple years.” 

“The veil's only been a problem for, what, the last six months?” I asked in response. 

Dean then pulled out his own laptop and set up at the other table in the room, as he said, “Well, you know, people still see Elvis all over the damn place. Look, all I'm saying is those _douchewheels_ ain't experts on crap.” 

“What are you doing?” I asked. 

“I'm checking the local deaths to see if there's any candidates for ghosts.” Sam and I just sighed, and dealt with it. Then I asked for the computer. There was a digital copy of the book available. 

“Seriously? You want to read _that_?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“I’m curious. And there might be some information that could help.” 

“They’re not exactly credible.” 

I smiled, “never said that.” So I began reading off of Sam’s tablet while he worked a little bit more on Thinman at the table across from Dean. About an hour or so passed and I was still within the early chapters. It wasn’t exactly a fast read. 

Dean then spoke up, “Okay. Alright, over the past six months, there have been three unnatural deaths in Springdale, none of them connected to Casey Miles, and none of them violent.” 

“Okay, that's not exactly a recipe for a vengeful spirit.” Sam said with a wave of disbelief. “There have been a bunch of unexplained deaths pinned on Thinman. Um, a vic dies, then, a couple weeks later, a photo pops up of the vic with Thinman photobombing.” 

“So, Thinman’s stalking folks?” 

“According to the lore.” I said dryly and held up the tablet slightly. 

“According to the idiots. How come none of these vics pinged our radar?” 

“I'm pretty sure the mysterious deaths can be chalked up to non-supernatural causes. That and, honestly, most of these photos look pretty fake.” Sam replied. 

“Even Casey’s?” 

“Except Casey’s.” I looked up at that. “Casey's photo wasn't doctored. Whatever was behind her was really there.” 

“Okay, well, that doesn't make any sense. I mean, how could something be both real and fake at the same time?” 

“Well, a girl is dead, and that's about as real as it gets.” I told them. A new wave of urgency came into the room from the boys and I.

“Alright, so, the last thing she did was she took a photo on her phone. How did that photo end up online?” Dean asked.

“No clue. It was originally posted to a Thinman fan forum, but the I.P. address was blocked.” Sam said. 

Waves of shock and annoyance came over Dean, “Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait. This thing has fans?” Sam nodded. “Of course it does. Okay, well, then somebody wanted this photo on the Internet, and I'm guessing that the ghost didn't hop online to post it.” 

With that we all got up and went down the sheriff’s knowing that they would have been the ones to leak the picture. We found the deputy and he brought us a large case file box. 

“Is the, uh, sheriff around?” Dean asked. “There's a couple questions we'd like to ask him.” 

“Uh, sorry to disappoint. Sheriff's on a hunting trip.” The deputy replied as we began to look through it. It was a lie, but I assumed cause the sheriff may be somewhere he doesn’t want the feds to know about, I didn’t think much of it. “But, uh, I appreciate you agents being here. I could use all the help I can get.” 

Sam then picked up an evidence bag with our vic’s cell phone. “Wait a second. Was this cracked when you found it?” Sam asked him. 

“Yeah, man. Maybe she dropped it? 911 call went dead at 11:59.” 

“Wait,” I said, “what time was the photo posted?” 

“Around 2 am.” Sam replied.

“But the coroner has the death at midnight. How could she have posted the photo from her phone? That-that's impossible,” Dean said with a wave of disbelief and frustration. 

“Or...supernatural.” The deputy mused with a wave curiosity. 

“What?” 

“Why would you say that?” I asked trying to keep cool about it. 

“A couple fellas came by, uh, asking questions about the girl's death, suggested they might be able to help. They, uh, gave me a book they wrote about, um…” 

“Thinman?” Dean asked with another wave of annoyance and anger. 

“Yeah.” Without another word, Dean walked off wafting off all kinds of frustration. “Not a fan?” 

I smiled politely. “No. Um,” I pulled out one of our business cards, “drop us a call if anything else comes up?” 

Sam and I took some copies of the files, and left the station quickly to find Dean. That night we hit the books, despite the fact that Dean still thought it was a spirit, while Sam and I weren’t thinking along those lines, leaning towards the Thinman theory. This case was becoming all the stranger. 

…

The next morning we were called in by the deputy to the diner. A manager there was murdered with all of the doors locked. As we walked in to see the Deputy, we were surprised to see the freakin’ Ghostfacers leaning over the counter. “Agents, thanks for coming.” 

Dean quickly said, with a wave of annoyance, “What are these two crapshoots doing here?” 

“I figured it wouldn't hurt to go a little ‘Medium,’ you know?” I chuckled a bit knowing he was barking up the wrong freakin tree on that. “Uh...two counties over, folks were combing the place for a poor little dead boy back in August. The cops let a psychic do her thing. Shish, bang, boom—found a body a day later.”

“Uh-huh. Excuse me.” Dean said then walked off towards Harry and Ed. I quickly followed to make sure he didn’t shoot them in front of the cops. “Hey!” He said as he slapped Harry’s butt, which was hanging kind of precariously as he leaned over the bar to check out the body. They both were startled. “I thought I told you to beat it.” 

A wave of smugness and determination came from Harry as he said, “Oh, well, what are you gonna do. You gonna out me, ‘agents?’” 

“Hey.” I said warningly. “Come on guys.” 

“Okay, look, playing paparazzi at a crime scene—who does that help but yourselves?” Dean asked with frustration. 

“The bloggers, Dean, the believers—everyone who needs just a little proof to know that Thinman is out there.”

Now a wave of confusion came from Dean, “Wait, so, you're saying there's a lot of folks online that are pretty die-hard about this thing?” 

“Oh yeah.” 

“Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.” Ed said, but had a wave of guilt come from him. I raised my eyebrow at that. 

“You throw the right Tibetan symbol into the mix, you dumb asses ever think the Thinman comes to life as a Tulpa?” Dean asked. 

“Because thousands of people can agree that Thinman is any one thing?” Ed asked, “The lore changes blog to blog. He's not a Tulpa.” 

“Okay, alright. Alright. Right here, right now, cut the crap. Do either of you actually _know_ what Thinman is?” 

Ed straight up deadpanned us. “No. We just play supernaturalists on TV.” 

Harry continued the bit. “We have no idea what we're doing...Of course we do!” They laughed. 

Then they began filming themselves. “Thinman, is part man, part tree.” 

“Some people believe that he emerged from the nightmare of an autistic boy.” 

I gave them a look for that one. “Alright, so you have no idea.” I said dryly while Dean just rolled his eyes. 

Then the deputy called out, “Fellas, you want to see this.” The four of us walked over to where Sam and the deputy had been veiwing the tapes. 

“Alright, check it out.” Sam said. He replayed the footage to show our vic getting his throat sliced by the Thinman himself. I raised my eyebrows in shock to see him jump around, appearing as if he could teleport. 

“Whoa.” Ed and Harry said simultaneously, and with a wave of excitement and fear. 

“Alright, so, how did he jump from the parking lot to the diner. The doors were locked?” Dean asked. 

“The footage shows Trey locked them 10 minutes before.” 

“Locked, not locked, it doesn't matter.” Harry said, “Everyone knows Thinman can teleport.” Dean had to quickly throw a hand over Harry’s camera to make sure he didn’t record the footage in front of us. 

“I didn’t even get a blip on my EMF.” Ed replied. 

“So, maybe it's not a ghost.” Dean thought out loud. 

The deputy was surprised, “you Feds Believers now?” 

Ed then had a wave of panic and said, “Okay, uh...We're gonna go. Uh, good work, deputy, agents. Let's go. Let's go, man.” They both left in a rush. 

After an exchanged looked between the boys and I, Dean said, “See it again.” Motioning towards the tapes. We reviewed them several times and looked over the scene. Again nothing tripped me off as a ghost so we were back on the Thinman debate. The three of us went back to the motel that evening for more research. 

After changing back into our normal clothes, and Dean fetching us dinner, we were brainstorming. “Okay. Just grasping at straws here,” Sam said, “but when I think ‘teleport,’ I think ‘Crossroads Demon.’”

“Mm. Demon that likes to stab and watch YouTube. Why not?” Dean said, with a wave of frustration. 

“Oh, by the way, speaking of which, the video of, uh, Trey getting knifed it's already online. It has, like, 2,000 views.” 

“It's like somebody wants people to see Thinman in action.” I said. 

“It's 'cause people will watch, 'cause people are sick.” Dean told us. 

“And when did ‘viral’ go from that baby chimp falling out of a tree to killer ‘Candid Camera?’” Sam asked. 

Dean then had a wave of nostalgia, which was a nice surprise as he smiled, “You know what video would have gone viral, if we still had it? When you were five and you got dressed up as Batman and you jumped off the shed 'cause you thought you could fly.” 

I laughed as Sam grinned. “What? Seriously?” I asked. 

“After you jumped first.” Sam said to Dean with the same nostalgia and joy. 

“Hey, I was nine, and I was dressed up like superman, okay? Everybody knows that Batman can't fly.” 

“Well, I didn’t know.” Sam chuckled. “I broke my arm.” 

Dean’s laughter was contagious. “I know you did. Man, I drove you to the E.R. on my handlebars.” 

“Oh I can imagine it now.” I said with a chuckle. 

“Hm, good times.”

Sam then had a small wave of realization and his smile disappeared in thought. “Yeah, they were.” I would have asked about it when I sensed someone come to my door wafting off fear. There was a knock, and Dean got up to answer it. Only for Ed to come barging in as soon as it opened. 

“Come on in.” Dean said with an exasperated wave of annoyance. 

“I got to tell you guys something important, and then the case is yours.” 

“What is it Ed?” I asked and stood in all seriousness. He explained, a little more panicked, that he screwed up, but we asked him to sit down and start from the beginning. 

So he sat on the edge of one of the beds with waves of guilt. “Alright, either you bleed Ghostfacers red or you don't. If Spruce wanted to start a startup and Maggie's heart was in the roller derby, who am I to stop them? But Harry—I-I couldn't let him give in to his girl. I mean, she-she called the Ghostfacers stupid. Stupid! Can you-can you believe that? You know, I-I don't care how much money her daddy's hedge fund has. I just couldn't watch Harry become a corporate stooge.”

I could sense Dean’s impatience from the other side of the room. “Okay, this all sounds like sad times at Bitchmont High. What does this have to do with the case?” 

“Harry was gonna leave, so I needed to give him a reason to stay. I-I made up Thinman.” We all stared at him a moment in shock. 

“What?!” I asked when it fully connected. 

“I know. It was stupid...but I had to.” Ed explained, though it sounded more like, an excuse. _We are all spinning our wheels on a made up monster. Wonderful,_ I thought to myself.

“So you're saying that this crap is actually crap?” Dean asked. 

“One old photo of a butler, a lot of Photoshop later, and I posted on one of those horror forums under _anonymous_. And it blew up. Yeah. I only faked one case for us, and then we're packing up to go home when somebody posted a sighting of Thinman, so...we went after it, and that's how the Thinman became a crowdsourced legend.” His waves of guilt were almost overwhelming. “Look, we were at the front of it. It felt like something. It-it was so awesome to have a following, and Harry—he was just—he was so into it.” 

“Ed, you have to tell him.” Sam said with a wave of determination. 

“You don't get it. We were the Thinman guys. Without the Thinman, we're just...guys-just—we're just puffs.” 

“What?” The brothers asked simultaneously.

“If I tell Harry, he's gonna leave the Ghostfacers.” He was firm on that. 

Still, Sam wanted to try. “Listen, if you _don't_ tell him, he's gonna leave anyway. Trust me here. Secrets _ruin_ relationships.” Dean and I both glanced at him for that. 

“Okay, well, I'll just tell him when the time is right.” 

“Time’s right now, chief.” Dean told him. 

“Well, he's-he's not here. Uh, he's-he's out in the woods, uh, searching for Thinman.” 

I gave him my own exasperated look. “Okay, because Thinman, or whatever the hell this thing is, has killed two people, and now Harry is in the woods _alone_ ,” I said with a lot of bite as I realized he put his friend in danger. 

Ed stood up in front of us. “Well, actually, it's more like ‘wood,’ um, ‘cause I dropped him off by some trees behind a grocery store. Guys, come on. He's gonna be fine. Guys?” 

We all exchanged a look, then rushed out of the door with our guns. Ed followed behind us quickly in panic and guilt. We all jumped into the Impala. Thanks to the Ghostfacer, we were there at the spot where he dropped off Harry, only to almost run him over. 

We ran out of the car, fear and excitement wafting off the man as he was breathing hard and clutching his torso. He was bleeding. Before he could collapse, Sam and Dean caught him. 

Ed just stood there as I went up to him. 

As soon as Sam and I steadied the man, Dean ran off and around to find the man who slashed Harry. We leaned him against the Impala, and Sam ran for the first aid kit we kept in the trunk. 

I checked his wound to see there was a single slash against his ribs, but nothing too deep. With red stained hands, I began wrapping it up with the gauze Sam handed to me. 

“You know,” I said as Harry watched me patch him up, “If you wanted a girl to not keep her hands off you, try going on a date instead of going inTo the woods.” He chuckled. As I finished with the wrapping. His winced a little. “Too tight?” I asked. 

“Nope. No, I’m good. I’m good.” He said, despite the waves of pain. I really didn’t want to clue them in on my abilities, so I didn’t bother with using my grace. 

“Yeah?” Sam asked. 

“I'm good. Alright. I think I'm just gonna have to staple it when we get back to the motel.” He said as he lowered his shirt, and I cleaned off my hands. Harry then turned to Ed with a blast of pure excitement. “We were right, Ed! Thinman's real.” 

“Yeah.” Ed agreed quietly with a wave of guilt. 

Then Dean returned in a brisk pace. “Some fresh tires tracks back over there. I took some photos.” 

“What for?” Harry asked. 

“Because that car might belong to whoever knifed you.” Sam told him.

“Well, whoever cut me was Thinman, and Thinman doesn't drive. It was Thinman, jackass! I mean, I shouldn't have to connect the dots for you guys. I figured, you know, you're all intelligent, m-maybe.”

We all looked at Ed, silently telling him to talk to Harry truthfully. “Um, Harry.” 

“What?” 

“Can we talk? Back at the motel?” We drove the two back and let them speak in our room, cause they had been sleeping in their van the last few nights. Dean went off to figure out the tire treads while Sam and I waited in the hallway for Ed and Harry to duke it out. 

As soon as I sensed the wave of pure anger from behind the door, I said, standing next to Sam while leaning against the wall, “he knows. And he’s pissed. And really hurt.” 

Sam nodded. “I get the feeling.” 

I looked up to him. He was staring at the floor as I took his hand. “I know. You okay?” 

“Yeah...just thinking.” 

“Okay.” Before I could say another word, Ed came from the room. 

“Hey. How did it go?” Sam asked. 

“It, um, went, uh...Um…” Ed then walked off with waves of shame and pure sadness. 

Sam and I exchanged a look before going in to see Harry. “Hey. You okay?” I asked gently. 

“I just got punched right in the feels.” He said from the comfy chair of the room.

Sam grabbed one of the chairs from the table and sat down with it backwards. “Um…” Sam started, neither of us sure what to say. 

“None of it was real, Sam. Ed was just pretending, and now he wants me to pretend, like this is just something I could get past.” 

“I know what you mean.” Sam said with a wave of sadness. “Look, there are things you can forgive, and there are things you can't.” 

“So which one is this?” 

“That's something you got to figure out for yourself.” I said simply. 

Then I sensed Dean from outside of the room. He knocked and entered. “Hey. Uh...I got a bead on those tire treads, if you want to…” 

I nodded, and Sam and I left the room. We went into the hallway with Dean. “What’s up?” 

“So, the tires were only made for one kind of car. It's a 1989 Geo Metro. Town this small—there's only one registered here. Deputy says it belongs to a guy named Roger who works night security down at the mill on the north side of town.” 

“So, this thing _teleported,_ but it has a job and car. What are we dealing with?” Sam asked. 

“Let’s go find out.” I said then left for the car, leaving Ed and Harry knowing they would be safe there. As soon as we got the old mill, we were surprised to see Deputy Norwood with his squad car waiting for us. 

As soon as we got out, Dean said, “I thought we said my partners and I would take care of this.” 

“Look, guys, my boss is AWOL. We don't have a warrant. My ass is on the line if this thing goes sideways.” 

Dean and I exchanged a look, then he replied, “Alright. Just stay back.” 

Sam went over to the door ahead of us, and pulled out his lock pick to open the door, but quickly realized that it was unlocked. As we pulled out our guns, I sensed a strange wave of excitement from the deputy behind me. 

Before I could turn around, pain shot through my back fiercely. I couldn’t even scream as it was blinding and was out cold before I hit the ground. 

…

I came to by the sound of incessant and oddly cheerful humming. I was handcuffed next to Sam, my back to a column. Dean was struggling against a pair of handcuffs on a chair. The deputy was humming and working. Setting up lights and a camera. 

“So, you're Thinman, huh?” Dean asked, looking the overweight man up and down. “That would make sense if it didn't look like you just ate a fat camp.” The deputy was annoyed, but his excitement overtook the room as he continued to hum. “Oh, God, Sam, make him stop.” 

Sam and I exchanged a look as he said, “Hey, so, what's the deal? What are you, Norwood? You a demon? I mean, how did you teleport back at the diner?” 

“Team effort.” Norwood said. Then a man came into the room. It looked like Thinman, but I sensed that he was just human. We all stared a moment as his hands went to the face and pulled it off. It was a young and thin man. 

“Who are you? Norman Bates?” I quipped. 

“So, there was no teleporting—just a couple of douche bags doing the ‘Scream’ thing.” Dean said with a full wave of anger. I fought the cuffs more. 

“Wait, I know who you are. You're the busboy from the diner. So, what, you just wanted to kill your boss?” Sam asked. 

“Trey was a dick.” The guy said with a wave of anger. 

“And what about Casey? What did she do?” Dean asked. 

“She wouldn't go out with me, so I set her up with someone else—my knife.”

“Good one, Rog.” Norwood said after a laugh. 

That got me pissed, “you killed a girl, because she wouldn’t go out with you? Prick.” I said that last part under my breath. 

Before he could react, Dean said, “I see the sheriff didn't make it out of town.” I looked over to see another body wrapped in plastic. 

“Well, he really should have given me the time off I asked for.” 

“So you killed him?!” Sam asked with as much anger and absurdity as we were all feeling. I then reached for my back pocket. I kept a lock pick in the back pocket of my jeans, and I doubted they would have looked for it. 

“ _I_ didn't kill anyone. Roger did. He's the psycho. I'm the visionary.” I shook my head as I sensed his pride. “I don't blame you for underestimating me. Everybody does. Fancy Fed, coming in here, treating me like a paper monkey from the get-go. But I was Thinman the whole time. Do you have any idea how good that felt?” 

“No, sicko, I can't say that I do.” Dean told him. 

Roger then replied, “Yeah, pretty boy doesn't know what it's like to feel invisible—to grow up in a town of 300 people and nobody sees you.” 

“They didn’t see us.” The deputy added. 

I could sense the concentration from Sam as we both worked on our cuffs. Sam and Dean exchanged a subtle look, knowing that if he bought us time we could fight our way out. “So, how did you two meet? Wackjob.com?” Dean asked smugly. 

“No. Just a couple of schmoes in an empty bar.” A wave of nostalgia came from both of them. “We hit it off. Turns out me and Rog—we're both total conspiracy-theory junkies.” 

“And then we found Thinman, and, bam, we blew up all over the message boards.” Roger said. 

“So, what is this, then? Some sort of a twisted cosplay?” I asked with bite, still working my cuffs. 

“ _Cosreal_. You know, blogging was fun, but…” 

“But, let me guess, you wanted something more.” Sam asked him. 

“You realize what you two jackasses are doing doesn't make you Thinman.” Dean told them, “It makes you copycat killers.” 

“It makes me Thinman. And you're not telling anyone I'm not, 'cause you'll be too dead to talk.” A wave of anticipation came from Roger as he said that. 

Norwood then went behind the camera. “Show time.” 

“You three are lucky ducks. You're the stars of our best video yet. And when it goes viral, everyone will know Thinman's real.” Roger said then replaced his mask. 

“No!” I shouted as Sam and I both struggled harder. Dean got quiet as Roger moved behind him. 

“And...Action!” 

“Wait, no-no-no. Don’t!” Sam shouted. Roger stopped at the sound of a door slamming. Our captors looked to each other then grabbed some duct tape. They gagged us. Thankfully they didn’t notice us working the cuffs. Once they left, the click of mine brought relief to all three of us. 

I got them off then ripped off my gagged. I went to Sam and got the tape off him. “Get Dean. I got mine.” He said lowly. I nodded then rushed to Dean. I got the tape off then worked the cuff. After a few moments of held breath, Dean was free. 

“They’re coming.” I whispered when I sensed them. Sam took my hand and we hid behind a wall near the body, while Dean ran behind another. We waited for the two men to return. I was surprised to sense two more. Ed and Harry. 

As soon as they came in, they had waves of shock. “No.” Roger said. We jumped out. Roger quickly took hold of Harry with a knife to his throat and Dean jumped him, while Sam and I went after Norwood. Sam managed to throw him to the wall and he fell to the ground. I looked around for my gun that they took from us, but froze when I watched Dean stab Roger with his own knife. 

I turned as I heard the click of a gun. Norwood had his gun on Sam. But before I could do anything, Ed got in front of him. “Wait, no! No! No! No, look. Look at me. This is all my fault. Okay? It's all my fault.” 

The deputy grinned. “I got enough bullets for both of you.” 

“No!” I shouted then heard a single gunshot. But it wasn’t from Norwood’s gun. He fell to the ground dead as I looked up to Harry, who’s pistol was still trained on him. 

After calming him down a little, Sam and I took Harry and Ed outside. Dean was to take care of the bodies and wipe our prints. Both Ed and Harry were quiet as we walked them to the van. After a while Dean returned to the Impala and loaded it up. 

Sam and I walked over. “So are we good in there?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah. With the Thinman footage and the way I set the bodies, there should be enough breadcrumbs to make it look like those two _psychos_ offed each other.” 

The waves of guilt from all of us were very apparent. “They were just people, man. They weren't...demons. They weren't monsters. They…” 

“...were just friggen people.” I replied. We all were whirling at the conundrum at it. 

Dean then said, that just about summed it up, “Yeah, well, like I said, people are sick.” 

“Actual crazy…” I said then looked over to Harry and Ed. They were speaking. Harry was wafting off anger and hurt, while Ed just waved off desperation. “Think they’ll be okay?” 

“No. Not really.” Sam replied. “Who would be?” 

I turned back to them. “That was close tonight…” I said quietly. Sam threw an arm around my in acknowledgment of that and Dean nodded. We all felt that. In the silence, I felt their gratefulness. Grateful to be alive. I just hoped it could lead to the boys healing their relationship. 

Then voices were raised from the Ghostfacers. “No. No. You did this for you.” Harry said. “There's a lot of things I can forgive, Ed, but this isn't one of them.” 

I quirked an eyebrow at that, surprised to hear Sam’s words from Harry. Ed then asked, “So, what does this mean about us?” 

“It means...It's complicated.” As Harry walked away and towards us, I could sense Ed’s heartbreak. “Can I get a ride from you guys?” We were all surprised by that. 

“Yeah, sure.” We all got into the Impala, the boys up front and Harry in the back with me. I looked over to Ed as we pulled out. He stood by his Ghostfacers van with tears in his eyes. 

As we drove away, Dean asked, “Harry, you okay?” 

“Yeah. I mean, no. You roll with a guy so many years, you start to think he's always gonna be next to you.” I watched carefully as I sensed his sadness and frustration. “Like, when you're old and you're drinking on the porch, he'll be in that other rocking chair. And then something happens, and you realize...that other chair has gone, empty.” 

The waves of realization from the boys told me that they knew his words rang true with their own relationship. It honestly scared me a little. This seemed to be a crossroads for them as well. And I wasn’t sure where they were gonna go. 

“You know what I mean?” Harry asked. The boys didn’t answer.

We got Harry to a bus station then left for home. It took us a few days, but we made it. When we returned home, the boys didn’t speak much. Initially Dean kept to himself while Sam and I did our thing. Something did seem to change between them. The fighting seemed to stop. 

And for that I was happy, but I missed their brotherly relationship. That constant that was there for so long was missing, and I had a feeling the boys were missing it too. Missing each other. I just wasn’t sure how to fix it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next! Crowley returns in BladeRunners


	16. Blade Runners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is getting anxious to find Abaddon as well as the First Blade to kill her. But one King of Hell has cause a major bump in the road. And not in the way you would think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun episode! Had a good time playing around with Crowley as well as the dynamic between him and the reader. Enjoy!—Indigo

_“You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right.”_ —Rosa Parks

  
  


I was worried about Dean. He had become increasingly agitated over the weeks ever since his run in with Cain, but that morning he was just on overdrive. He wanted to find Crowley and the first blade. And he wanted it right that second. 

Dean was pacing while Sam and I were working on research over Cain and Abel. Sam on his laptop while I worked from a few lore books. 

“Come on, Crowley. Pick up!” He said, from his one thousandth phone call. “Where the hell is he? It's not like he's got a social life.” 

Sam looked up from his laptop. “Uh, are you actually worried?” 

When Dean turned away, Sam looked to me to which I nodded. Then I could hear Crowley’s voicemail message, “Too busy inflicting pain to answer. Leave a message.” 

Annoyance came over Dean after he hung up, “Guy's got one job—find the First Blade, bring it back. How hard is that?” 

“It's Crowley. He's not exactly a team player.” I reasoned. 

“Yeah, but his _ass_ is on the line, too. He goes missing for weeks on end without a peep? Well, not one that makes sense, anyway. Listen to this.” He set the phone down on the table and pressed play on speaker. 

“Dean. Um…” Crowley said then began rambling. 

“Wait a second. Did he... _Drunk_ -dial you?” Sam asked with a wave of surprise from the both of us. 

“Come on.” Dean said calling again. After hours of being in Dean's worry and annoyance, we all decided to call it and summon a crossroads demon. 

We went out that night to a nearby crossroads and laid out the demon trap. As Dean finished spraying the last part of it, Sam was burying the summoning box. “Alright, do it.” Dean ordered. 

As Sam said the words, worry was all around us, and I gripped my sword by the hilt with white knuckles. “ _Daemon, esto subiecto voluntati meae._ ” 

We looked around for a moment, waiting for the demon to show up. Then I sensed the presence, “Winchesters.” 

We all turned around to see none other than Snooki herself. Yes that Snooki, and with red eyes. “Is that?” I said. 

“Well, that explains a lot.” Dean quipped. 

“Okay, uh, look...Snooki—can I call you ‘Snooki’?” Sam asked, still shocked. 

“No.” The demon said smugly adjusting her perfect hair, “It’s Nicole now.” 

“Okay, then. Nicole...We can do this one of two ways. The easy way—you still talk.” 

“Or the easier way.” I said threateningly, pulling out my sword from its sheath. Sam also took out the demon knife. “...you still talk.” 

“I vote number two.” Dean said, which made me smirk. 

“We just want some basic information on Crowley. That's it.” Sam told her. 

A wave of annoyance came from her. “Google him. Are we done?” I took two steps forward, and that was enough for her to send out a wave of fear. “Whoa! Not the face! Are you crazy? Listen, guys, what happens in Hell stays in Hell. I got nothin’.” 

“But you do have a pretty sweet deal with Crowley in charge.” Dean said, “If Abaddon wins, you can kiss all that goodbye-”

“All the fancy cars, the book deals.” I added. 

“Show biz can be tough.” 

“I’m doing fine. Thanks.” She said. 

“Oh. Well, good luck landing your next gig inside a Devil's Trap.” 

After a moment of annoyance, she finally sighed, and said, “What do you want to know?” 

“Where is Crowley?” Sam asked. 

“Last time I heard, he was somewhere in the western Pacific.” 

“Makes sense.” 

“Really? Floating around in the ocean while his kingdom goes up in flames?” My thoughts went back to the conversation I overheard between Crowley and Abaddon. 

“Meaning?” I asked. 

“Hell's gettin' crazy. Even the loyalists want to sign on with Abaddon. She's gonna make her move. Are we done? I got a thing.” She stood poised waiting for us to let her out. 

Sam and Dean exchanged a look while I resheathed my sword. Sam started, “ _Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus…”_

A wave of shock and anger came from the demon. “Seriously? An exorcism? We had a deal!” 

“See ya, Snooks.” Dean said with a smirk as Sam continued. 

…

We went back home and got to work. None of us slept as Sam and I worked to find the freakin’ blade. The next day, Sam and I were working on our second pot of coffee when Dean came in for an update with a couple of beers. “Hey.” I said as he came in. 

“So…” Sam started, “Cain said the First Blade was tossed in the deepest ocean, right? That's the Mariana Trench. Maybe Crowley found it, and it's a double-cross.” 

A wave of confusion came over Dean, “That doesn't make sense. He wants me to power it up and kill the ginger. He set it up.” 

I nodded, then looked at Sam. He wanted to bring up something important. “Okay. A-assuming he _does_ show up with it, Crowley is only useful to us until we have the Blade.” 

“Yeah. So?” Dean asked, sort of indifferent about it. 

“So...There's nothing stopping us from using it on him, right?” Sam asked. 

“Nothing at all.” Dean replied. 

“Are you guys sure?” I asked. “Believe me, he deserves it after all the crap he put us through but...wouldn’t taking out him _and_ Abaddon cause more problems? I mean the lack of leadership in Heaven caused the angels to fall, what would it do to Hell?” 

The boys stayed quiet at my questions. The quiet anger from Dean told me he didn’t care much, but Sam was now as concerned as I was. Then Dean’s cell rang. “Speak of the devil.” He answered it. “Did you find the First Blade.” After a wave of frustration, that told me he didn’t. “Well, then, what, exactly?” 

After a moment he hung up with the demon, and we jumped in the Impala. Crowley told us where he was. Armed with our demon weapons and the runed cuffs, we found the motel that night. 

After seeing Crowley wasn’t home in the room, we broke in only to find a few bodies. A couple men who had ligature marks on his wrists and duct tape still on their mouths, and a beautiful woman. She smelt like sulfur so we knew she was a demon. Question was, why did Crowley kill her. So we laid in wait for the King of Hell. 

Sam and I sat down while Dean leaned against a door frame of the suite leading into the bedroom. Crowley came in with waves of anxiety carrying a paper bag. “Hello, boys.” He said without his suave attitude once he saw that we were there.

Dean then asked, slightly kicking one of the bodies, “And what do you call this?” 

“Refreshments?” Crowley said with waves of guilt. I never thought I could see the man be guilty, since he’s the king of hell after all. 

“What’s in the bag, Crowley.” I asked. 

“Nothing.” 

“Liar.” I muttered lowly.

Sam stood, and said, “Really? Maybe I can, uh…” he quickly reached for it and tore open the brown paper bag. It was a blood bag with AB negative. “What, are you knocking over blood banks?” 

Sam quickly grabbed Crowley by the arm and threw him into a chair that Dean grabbed. I stood as Crowley said, “Come on, guys.” 

Dean was wafting off anger and frustration, but also disappointment. “Look at you. You're a mess. You know, we were counting on you. You let us down.” 

“Your slimy followers were counting on you to kill Abaddon, and you let them down.” I said to him. To which he had another wave of guilt. 

“The man with all the mojo—Captain Evil.”

“Oh, it’s pathetic.” Sam mused. 

Crowley had a wave of annoyance. “What is this? An intervention?” 

“You need to focus, Crowley. Get a grip!” 

“What, you just gonna let Hell go to Hell?” I asked. 

“You don't know what it's like to be human!” He finally said in desperation. We all stared at him a little strangely, and he immediately filled the room with regret. Still he said, “It's your DNA. It's my addiction, my cross, my _burden!_ ” 

“Alright, take it easy.” Dean said. 

“I see the darkness of it now, the Anthony Weiner of it. It makes you needy. I needed her.” He looked over to the body of the dead woman. Waves of anger came from him at the sight, as well as a small bit of grief. “Lola used me. She reported everything I did back to Abaddon.” 

“Crowley…” Sam said urgently, “Did you tell her about the First Blade?” 

“I don't know. Things get a trifle _blurry_ when I'm medicated.” 

“Great.” I said exasperated, “If he told Lola, she definitely told Abaddon.” 

“Which means that Abaddon's in the hunt for this thing, too.” Dean said with another wave of frustration. “Alright, you know what? This crap ends _now._ You're cut off. Okay? Kicking it. Cold turkey.” 

Crowley didn’t put up as much of a fight this time as we brought brim back to the bunker. Honestly, he was down right depressed. As the blood he took faded away, he was still just sad. It was getting hard to try and hate the demon. Despite all that he had done to me and my boys. 

We chained him up back in the dungeon again. Dean left the room to give us time to figure out where the blade was. Crowley seemed to become more like the demon we knew. Wafting off annoyance while also shaking, he said, “Back in this fetid pit. Could at least have added some throw pillows.” 

“Focus.” I said to him as I sat on the table where Sam was researching. 

“Okay. You swept the Mariana Trench. And...?” Sam asked with waves of hope. 

“And the First Blade was not, as hoped, in the Trench. It had, in fact, been scooped up by an unmanned sub, from whom it was stolen by a research assistant, who reportedly sold it to Portuguese smugglers who, in turn, lost it to Moroccan pirates in a poker game.” 

I seemed to get it okay, but Sam had a wave of confusion, “what?” 

“Poor moose. It's always a little tricky keeping up, isn't it?” I rolled my eyes at the demon as I got up and began to pace. 

Then a wave of discomfort came from Sam. “What are you doing?” 

I looked up to Crowley to see him staring at Sam, waving off nostalgia. I raised an eyebrow. “I'm still a little tainted by humanity. Makes me sentimental.” 

“Well, stop.” Sam went back to work, still Crowley couldn’t stop talking. 

“You and I both know we shared a mo back in that church. And on some level, we are bonded.” 

I scoffed a little, “you know he’s spoken for right?” I asked. 

A small wave of amusement came from Sam, but then he said, “Crowley, the only reason you are alive is that we need your help to deal with Abaddon 'cause _she_ is an even worse pile of crap than you are. And that is the extent of my concern for you. Got it?” Crowley stayed quiet. “Okay. What happened after the pirates?” 

…

Crowley got us a contact for the pirates and we set up a meeting. We were planning on going Fed with it as well to put even more pressure on the guy. Sam, Dean, and I were sitting on a bench in a park an hour away from the bunker. Crowley stalked off to a nearby vending machine. 

Sam was exasperated by the demon enough as it was, but when he saw him, he asked, “What is Crowley doing?” 

Dean and I both looked over to see Crowley breaking into the damn thing for some candy bars. I sighed, “stealing candy,” I said dryly. 

“He is-he's—he's stealing candy.” Sam said then put his hands to his face in a wave of pure frustration. I pressed my hand to his back to try and help.

“You know, at least when Cas was human, he was an okay guy.” Dean said, “Should've known Crowley would be a douche version.” I chuckled lightly at that. Dean then got up and shouted, “Hey. Hey! Cut it out, man! Image! You're the king of rotten. Act like it.” 

Crowley then pouted then went to the other bench of the place. Annoyance and disappointment came over him much like a child. “King of Hell is having a pity party, awesome.” I said dryly and huffed.

Dean then had a wave of worry and said, “You really think this guy's gonna show up? I mean, this isn't exactly a place where million-dollar deals go down.” 

“Look, word is, this André Develin character bought the Blade from the pirates, and he's been shopping it around. That's all I know.” Sam said. Then I sense another person. 

I looked up to see a figure waving off determination and excitement. “Hey, heads up.” I said and nodded towards him. We all got up from the bench.

Sam went up to him first. “Mr. Develin, we spoke on the phone.” He offered a hand to shake but the man didn’t bother. 

“You said you represent a serious collector with an interest in a _private_ transaction.” 

Dean then said, “Did he? Oh. Well, what he meant to say was, is that we are with…” we pulled out our badges. “The FBI.” 

“Then good evening.” He said and moved to leave. 

“Wait a second. We just want some answers.” I said firmly. 

“Read Sartre. Jean-Paul Sartre. I'm merely a facilitator between the buyer and the seller—a conduit. So, unless I'm being detained-”

I sensed a wave of determination from Crowley. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up when I saw red smoke enter Develin’s mouth. After a moment, it left his body again. We all stood there a little shocked, while Develin didn’t even know what happened. “So, am I? Being detained.” 

Dean was visibly flustered at the moment, and waves of anger came from him again. “Not at the...moment. No, but we've got our eyes on you.” Develin left us and Crowley came up. 

He was now waving off a familiar sense of pride. “National Institute of Antiquities.” He told us. 

“Missouri.” I replied. Then we all left for the Impala. We all drove to Kansas City in a hurry, only to hear on police scanners that there was an attack at the very Institute. We left Crowley locked up in the Impala and went in. 

The first person we spoke with was the head detective. The crime scene was in one of the vault rooms with three bodies. Two security guards and a young woman. “I don't have much for you guys. The guards were good men. They'd been here for years—vetted, honest. But…” 

“But?” Dean asked. 

A wave of confusion and curiosity came from him, “Security camera shows a research assistant caught them breaking into vault number one.” 

I gestured to the body of the girl, “that’s her?” 

The detective nodded. “Gets weirder.” On his tablet, he showed us the tape. It clearly showed one of the guards shooting the other. Then the one who was shot, shot back, seemingly unscathed. _Demons_ , I thought. Then one of them shot at the camera, taking it out and ending the tape. “Like I said.” 

“Anything special about the particular vault they opened?” Sam asked. 

“Vault number one is where they keep rare, new acquisitions while they're being examined.” 

“So what was stolen?” Dean asked him. 

“That's the kicker—nothing. The curator, Dr. McElroy, said the vault's been empty for weeks.” He then got called away from us. 

I furrowed my eyebrows in thought as Dean said, “Okay, so, just connecting the dots here—the Blade was likely put in there when it first got here.” 

“The guards were obviously demons, so...What? When the vault turned out to be empty, they killed their guard meat-suits and smoked out?” Sam asked. 

“And reported back to who? Abaddon?” 

A wave of realization came from all three of us. “She’s closing in.” I said finally. As I thought about her, I thought of Reagan. The demon who was using Jackson’s body. I swallowed at the thought of seeing him again. As much as I wanted the demon dead, I hated the idea of it being Jackson’s body, even if I knew Jackson had been long dead. 

After the bodies were carried away, we finally got a hold of the curator. “So, the First Blade was _never_ on display?” Sam asked the woman. 

“No authenticated item by that name was ever on these premises.” She informed us. 

“ _Authenticated_. Dr. McElroy, this Blade was stolen and smuggled into the U.S. in violation of treaties with _several_ governments.” Dean said, “We can compel you to speak.” 

She had a small wave of amusement and excitement while she looked at him flirtatiously. “Compel? And what might that involve?” Dean was slightly taken aback while Sam and I looked on, I did all I could to keep from smiling. She then said, “Alright, look, I did acquire the so-called First Blade. And carbon dating did peg it to biblical times, but the authentication proved unreliable.”

“So it was in the vault.” Sam said. 

“I removed it myself. The guards didn't know.” 

“And where is it now?” I asked. 

“Several weeks ago, a confidential offer was made to purchase it.” She said with a wave of guilt. I raised an eyebrow at that, then subtly looked to Dean. “I was afraid we would never authenticate the thing, so-”

“Who was the buyer?” Dean asked.

“Sorry. The buyer _insisted_ on absolute secrecy.” 

“Well...federal statutes trump your little deal. So...the buyer?” 

“And you'll get it out of me one way or another, won't you, Agent?” She said even more flirtatiously. I looked away to fight a blush as I sensed Dean getting excited. He smirked a little at that. “I never did know his real identity. He called himself ‘Magnus.’ Don't ask me where he lives. I have no idea. But I do have a meeting. So, here is my number, should you need anything else.” She pulled out a business card and held it out. 

Sam went to take it, but she pulled it back. He put his hand down with a wave of annoyance as she held it out again. Dean took the card and watched her leave. Sam gave him a ‘really’ look, while I smiled and shook my head. “What?” 

Sam chuckled with me, then said, “Did you catch that? ‘Magnus’? ‘Albert Magnus?’ The name the Men of Letters used when they want to be incognito?” 

“Yeah, but we know that all of the Men of Letters are dead.” 

“Do we?” I asked. 

…

We took Crowley back to the dungeon and began interrogating. Unfortunately he was in the pissy state of his detox. “Turndown service? I'd like a mint on my pillow.” 

“What do you know about the Men of Letters massacre of 1958?” Sam asked firmly, though all three of us were on our wits end. 

“We know Abaddon missed our grandfather and Larry Ganem. Was there anybody else?” Dean asked. 

“Let me get this straight.” Crowley said with waves of anger, “You keep me locked up in this closet, ignore my suffering, and then come _barging_ in here and _demand_ my help?” 

“More or less, yeah.” 

I stood there with my arms crossed as I listened to the demon. “Did I or did I not keep my end of the bargain the other night? Quite brilliantly, I might add. We are partners! And you owe me!” 

“ _Owe_ you?” I asked. 

“I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you three. You shoot me up. You make me a _junkie_. You keep me stashed away for months while my kingdom falls apart?!” 

“What do you want?” Dean asked. 

He wanted out of the chains, in a comfy chair and a bottle of scotch. I convinced the boys that honestly he would be less cranky if we did give him what he wanted, which would have made my life easier since I had to endure his detox as much as he did when I was around him. So he sat in the corner of the library while the boys and I looked through file after file. 

“It's not a very good scotch, is it?” Crowley asked. 

I glared at him, but kept my mouth shut. That was _my_ good scotch he was drinking. Sam then said, “Okay, Crowley, we have gone through the records for the entire membership in 1958. Every single name matches the men who were killed.” 

The demon was barely paying attention as he found one of Dean’s Busty Asian Beauties magazine. “That would be the active membership correct?” Sam looked up and saw what the demon was reading. He rolled his eyes. 

“Crowley could explain please?” I asked completely annoyed. 

“Were you all dropped on your heads a great deal? Like I told you, rumor has it that a rogue member was tossed out on his arse. Does that make him _active?_ Seriously, boys, how did you ever function without me?” Then he saw a picture he particularly liked, “Well, hello, Miss Ichigatsu.” 

Dean then picked up another box and read off the Latin label, “ _Infamati et obliterati.”_

I furrowed my eyebrows then Crowley translated, “Dishonored and forgotten.” We sat down and began going through the huge stack of files. After a few minuets, Dean said, “Wow. This guy was something.” 

He handed the file to me and Sam looked over my shoulder. I raised my eyebrows at the name. “Tough name.” Sam mused. 

“Yeah, Cuthbert Sinclair. I'd have just gone with ‘Magnus.’” Dean replied. 

“Looks like he designed most of the warding that keeps the bunker safe.” I said with a surprise. 

Looking up from a file in front of him, Dean said, “Says here he was named ‘Master of Spells,’ right after he initiated.” 

“I guess his work got a little _crazy_. The leadership called it ‘eccentric’ and ‘irresponsible.’” Sam said. 

“Kay, so these are the projects that he proposed the last two years he was here. Look at this—‘Rejected.’ ‘Rejected.’ ‘Rejected.’”

“Huh.” I responded. 

Crowley then said, “So difficult—brilliant, ahead of your time, despised for it. Trust me, I know.” 

Dean Ignored him and read off. “‘Formal separation from Men of Letters—April 1956.’”

“He missed the massacre.” I said with hope. 

“I never knew his name, but I heard _someone_ was out.” Crowley said with a wave of pride. “Did my damndest to find him. Thought he might be my way inside this joint.” 

“So where’d you look?” Sam asked. 

Still in his cuffs, Crowley took us to a spot in the middle of the woods. In the midafternoon light, we trekked a small way into the place. It was grassy and desolate as very few trees had grown there. 

“So this is where your demons tracked him to?” Dean asked the demon. 

“Exact spot. My boys never could find him.” A small wave of annoyance came from him. “I'm sensing nothing, so if he's here, he's warded up to the gills.” 

I let my walls down a little and couldn’t sense anything either. Sam looked to me, asking if I did, and I shook my head. He then asked, “Well, he was a genius at it, right? Sure as hell ain't gonna be found by a bunch of demons.” 

“Oh, like he's gonna open his heart to you lot, because you're such prizes?” 

Dean had a wave of pride as he said, “Better—we’re legacies.” I smirked a that. We walked forward in the clearing. “Alright, if he's so bent on hiding, maybe he's watching. Give it a shot.” 

Sam spoke up to the air as we looked around, “Cuthbert Sinclair—uh, Magnus—whatever. We're Sam and Dean Winchester, Henry Winchester's grandsons.” 

“And Men of Letters, ourselves.” Dean added. 

I then introduced myself and my grandfather’s name. “Woman of Letters.” I said proudly. “We know what happened back in the day. We don't necessarily agree with it.” I said, trying to appeal to the man. 

“We figured...Maybe you want to tell your side of the story.” Sam finished. I rested my hand on my hilt, ready for anything as I held my breath. After a moment or so, there was nothing. I huffed in disappointment, and we all turned around towards the car. Shock stopped me from moving forward as Crowley pointed at something behind us. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as we all turned back to see a smoky doorway. 

The two brothers and I exchanged a look before walking in. I took Sam’s hand as we entered what seemed to be a beautiful mansion on the other side of the doorway. It was ornate and with a little bit of music playing as we entered. “Which way?” Sam asked. 

Dean motioned one way and we began walking down a hall. The elder brother was ahead of Sam and I as we walked through. Just as we were about to turn a corner, I shouted, “Dean!” 

Two vamp’s sprung at us. Dean handled one as Sam and I worked the other. I quickly took out my sword and chopped his head off. Once the body was dead, I turned to see Dean take care of the other one. We were breathing hard as we heard clapping over an intercom. 

“ _Bravo! Well done_.” The voice said. It guided us to a fancy sitting room with couches and a fireplace. As well as several ornate and vintage furnishings and strange items. A man stood there with a cheeky smile, simple waves of pride and excitement were coming from him as he introduced himself as Magnus. 

We sat down and poured himself a drink. “Sorry about all the theatricality. I just wanted to see what you three were made of.”

“So, what, are we underground?” Dean asked. 

“No. No, my fortress is right where you were standing. But it's invisible.” 

“Then you must be Cuthbert Sinclair.” Sam said with a wave of hope. 

He had a wave of disgust. “Ugh. I haven't gone by that moniker in, oh...57 years now.” 

Surprise was from all of us, as Dean replied, “Well, you're looking good for a guy pushing…” 

“90?” I finished for him.” 

“Well, thanks, sport. There's a spell for _damn_ near everything. I am impressed, though. You did exactly what you should've done. Though I am gonna miss those two from my zoo.”

“Your zoo?” Sam asked with waves of shock. 

“Oh, gentlemen and lady, you are in the midst of the greatest collection of supernatural rarities and antiquities on the _planet._ ” He said that with a great wave of pride. “I'm sorry. Did you say that you were Men of Letters? I thought that whole thing died out after '58.”

“Well, we are-we are legacies. But actually, uh...We're hunters.”

A wave of surprise came from the man, “Hunters?” He laughed, “Wow! Hunters. With the key to the kingdom! The boys must be spinning in their graves. Damn snobs. Bunch of librarians, if you ask me.” Then a wave of nostalgia. “Although I was always fond of Henry. I was his mentor, you know? Yeah, till the _squares_ gave me the boot. Yeah. 'Course, he came here to visit me, in secret. Called out to me, same as you did. Oh, yes. Quite the wild hair, your grandfather was.” 

“Listen, Magnus, uh…” Dean said, “We got ourselves a little situation. Abaddon, the last Knight of Hell, is looking to up her pay grade and take over the place.” 

“Things never change, do they? I kept telling the boys over and over again—I would say, ‘we could stop all this. We could rid the world of monsters once and for all if we just put our minds to it’, but, ‘oh, no,’ they said. ‘No, no, no. It's not our place. We're here to study. We're here to catalog.’” He said that last part with another wave of disgust. I was beginning to dislike the man. 

“Yeah, yeah, no, we get it. They're, uh...geeks.” 

“Mm.” 

“But she can be stopped. But we need something that we hear you have—the First Blade.” 

There was a small quiet. “Hmm. I see. Interesting.” A wave of pride and determination came from him. “But if you'd really done your homework, you would know that it's absolutely useless, unless, of course, you're possessing the Mark-“

Dean quickly interrupted and pulled up his right sleeve. “...the Mark of Cain.” 

Shock and wonder now came from the man. “Oh, my. How did you come by that?” 

“Listen,” I said, “if Abaddon takes over, the one thing she wants more than anything is to make hell on earth. Not even _you_ can escape that.” 

“And they say all hunters are morons. It's right there behind you, lady and gentlemen.” We all turned to see it. A long, and very old looking blade made of an animal’s bone. Waves of shock came from all three of us as we stood up at the sight. 

Dean then said, “Listen, if you're serious about taking action, this—this is taking action. You loan us that Blade, and we will stop the bitch.”

“Hmm. Let me think about it.” He turned around to the table behind him, a wave of determination and greed came from him. “Alright, I’ve thought about it.” He blew come powder on Sam and I, and quickly recited a quick spell. “ _Abi, ab oculis meis!”_

We were back in the woods again. With no Dean. Anger and panic came from Sam. “Oh crap!” I said before we took off towards the Impala. 

We quickly found Crowley waiting as Sam said, “Magnus has Dean.” 

We went straight to the trunk. Sam and I began digging through it, trying to find something, anything so we could get Dean back. Crowley, waving off boredom got a little too close when he tried to sneak a peek, so Sam drew the demon knife on him. “You mind?” He said with a wave of annoyance and anger. 

He backed off. Still, a wave of realization came from Crowley. “Who would have thunk it, eh, moose—you and me, same team, in the trenches. When this is over, we can get matching tattoos.” 

Sam grabbed the box of files and took it to the front seat. I closed up the back and followed. A wave of anger came from him, “Just to be clear, Crowley, we are not on the same anything. By the way, since the place is warded, your powers are useless, which means _you_ are useless, even more so than usual.” He punctuated it by pointing the knife at him. 

I huffed a little and picked out some files. Crowley couldn’t stop taking, “You're gonna need another set of hands when you get in there, unless you have other volunteers in mind.” 

“Thanks. Pass.” Sam said coldly. 

“If memory serves me, _I'm_ the one who helped your brother find Cain so that we could find the Blade, so that Dean could receive the Mark.” Crowley said with a wave of pride. “I'm the one who flushed that lout Gadreel out of your noggin,” I looked up to give Crowley a glare, “along with you Darling of course. So, lately, big boy, I've seen more playing time than you.” 

“Crowley, will you please shut the hell up?” Sam said finially with a wave of exasperation. 

Still he wouldn’t. “By the way?” I looked up at the demon’s words. “How did you do that little trick my dear?” 

“First of all...I’m not your dear.” I said with a cold voice. “Second...I’m part angel.” Sam was surprised to hear me confess that. But I gave him a look that told him I knew exactly what I was doing. 

“Huh.” He said with a wave of surprise. “Don’t suppose you have other angel abilities as well?” 

I looked at him with scrutiny as I decided to say, “Empathic abilities. And others. Just as lethal even in my own way...” I didn’t quite want to let him know that I could tell if he’s lying. 

“Quite the catch, Moose.” He commented. 

I rolled my eyes and continued reading. Thankfully Crowley got quiet to let us work. We spent the better part of an hour pouring into the files, growing more anxious by the minute as we worked. Night had fallen as I said, “Here’s something. Apparently, he wanted to make the entire Men of Letters bunker invisible. All physical points of entry were to be eliminated, ‘and entrance would only be gained by spell.’” 

A small wave of hope came from Sam as he read it then found the supposed spell that could work. “Oh. We're gonna need some things. You actually might turn out to be useful, Crowley.” 

A small, pleased wave came from the demon. We uncuffed him and sent him off with a list of things. “You okay?” I asked Sam. 

He was still waving off worry for his brother. “Yeah...yeah.” He said looking out to the woods towards the entrance of the place. “We need to get him back.” 

I stroked the hair out of his face subconsciously. “We will.” I said with as much assuredness as I could. Even if I was as worried as Sam. As we had our moment, Crowley returned. He immediately had an amused wave at the sight of us. As he cleared his throat, I pulled my hand away and went towards him. “Do you have it?” I asked. 

“Yes.” He said with a smirk. He stared at Sam, who was now waving off even more annoyance. Sam and I worked quickly as we put the spell together. “I did good, eh, moose? Everything on the list.” He had a small wave of desperation and loneliness. For a moment, I had pity for the demon. “You're welcome.” 

Before Sam had a final wave of purpose, I looked to the demon and our eyes met. I gave him a grateful nod, to which he smiled. Sam then finished the spell. He took the bowl and I followed. We all walked towards the place, Crowley close behind. “Remember—stay close, do what we say, and shut the hell up.” He ordered. 

“I'm growing on you, aren't I?” He quipped. 

I rolled my eyes as Sam said the spell. “ _Ingressum domi dona mihi_.” The smoky door appeared again from the ground. Sam threw the bowl down and I drew my sword. The three of us entered and found ourselves in the ornate hallway again. 

“Okay. Here we are.” I said lowly, looking for anything near us. 

“Love what he's done with the place.” Crowley quipped. Then we heard footsteps. I wasn’t sure who it could have been, but we ducked around a corner. Despite him waving off some determination and fear, Magnus appeared to take a piece of paper to a drawer down the hall. 

Sam quickly ran up to him and put a knife to Magnus’s throat. “Take me to my brother.” He growled. 

“Go.” I said, resheathing my sword. “I’m going to look for the stuff to get out.” 

Sam left down the hall with Magnus in tow, while Crowley followed me around the place. I gathered things, until I sensed it. A huge wave of fear from Dean and Sam. My breath hitched and I looked to Crowley. “Come on.” He whispered and took my shoulder. Suddenly we appeared flushed to a wall by a doorway. I stayed quiet as I saw both Sam and Dean chained up. Dean to a wall and the first blade in his hand, pure anger coming from him. Sam was waving off fear as well. 

Magnus was speaking to the older brother with a knife in his hand. “Why would I knock myself out trying to sap your will? I think Sam here will get you to see things my way.” 

I gritted my teeth as I gripped my sword’s hilt. Crowley pressed a hand to my wrist stopping me. With determination coming from him, I knew he had a plan, we shared a nod as Dean said, with realization coming from him, “Magnus, I swear to God…” 

“What? What are you gonna do?” Magnus said with a wave of smugness, then he turned to Sam. “What is he gonna do? Huh?” Pure anger filled the room as Magnus slashed Sam’s right cheek. Dean thrashed at the bonds. “Yeah, look, look, Sam, I'm not gonna kill you. Of course not.” 

Magnus took another slice and Sam groaned. Dean then looked over towards Crowley and I. We shared a nod as Magnus said, “But I am gonna make you suffer unimaginably, all right?” 

Crowley quickly used his demon powers to grab Dean and get him out of his chains. The sound of chains dropping heavily on the floor made Magnus and Sam look over. 

I ran out and shouted. “Hey!” It distracted Magnus long enough for Dean to appear behind him quickly and slice his head off before he even knew. His body dropped. But I froze. 

This new anger from Dean was different. He stood there, breathing heavily as his hand holding the blade shook. The Mark was now glowing red. He was now watching Crowley next to me. “Dean?” Sam called out gently. “Dean. Hey, it's over. He's dead.” 

Dean’s eyes went to the blade as I sensed the pure anger and darkness from it. It was so strange and foreign as I stared at it. Dean’s lips then pulled into a snarl. His eyes were dark as he seemed to let the anger consume him. “Drop the blade, Dean.” Sam said. After a moment of Dean not hearing him, Sam shouted, “Dean!” 

I found my voice as I saw humanity come back into Dean’s eyes, as well as fear come from him. “Drop the Blade.” I said firmly as Dean’s and Sam’s eyes met. 

“Drop the Blade.” Sam repeated. I let out a sigh of relief as Dean dropped it finally. I went to them as he pressed his shaking hand to his chest. 

I checked on Sam a moment, then looked at Dean. I pressed a gentle hand to his shoulder. With a silent nod I knew he was okay. With the snap of some fingers, the chains on Sam disappeared. We all looked up at Crowley, who was waving off all sorts of pleasure as he knew he was the one who saved the boys. Both of the Winchesters glared at him, while I looked away. 

I could sense the pride in Crowley as well. He seemed to have earned some sense of trust in me. And I knew I didn’t want to kill him. Despite all he had done, he did save our asses. And I think he saw it too. 

As we walked out, I contemplated what had happened. The blade changed Dean. He wasn’t Dean with it in his hand. He just wasn’t. And it scared the hell out of me. The man was a brother to me, and the blade made him kill without hesitation. I wanted nothing to do with it anymore, despite the fact it was the only item in all creation that could kill Abaddon. I just hoped that we would get rid of both the blade and the Mark all together after it’s done. 

As we walked out, Crowley was beaming. The three of us were still within shock and worry, but also annoyance as the demon wouldn’t quit talking. Though I knew that he had his cogs still turning. 

“Brilliant, I must say. I'm speaking of myself and your girlfriend, of course. All you two managed to do was get trussed up. Combine a little derring-do on my part, a little dumb muscle from squirrel, a little bleeding from moose and a lovely distraction from you darling...Happy ending. Roll credits.” 

Then we had the Impala in our sights. “No, no! Come on.” Dean shouted as all four doors were left wide open and tossed around. Anger wafting off Dean as he ran to his baby. “What the hell?” 

He began checking her out as Sam found a yellow substance. “That’s sulfur.” Sam then ran to the trunk and opened it. 

“Demons.” I remarked. 

“Abaddon's.” Dean said. “Well, she's just one jump behind us. Guess she couldn't find Magnus' joint, either. What about the trunk?” 

“Safe. Warding kept them out.” Sam replied. We all let out a little sigh of relief. 

Anger came from him again as Dean grumbled, “Demon mitts all over my baby.” He closed the door just to see someone keyed a bunch of Enochian. “Oh, come on!! Oh, now they're keying cars?!” 

Dean leaned down to take a look, trying to rub it out, while Sam asked, “What language is that?” 

Before I could answer, Crowley said, “It's Enochian. The message isn't for you. It's for me. ‘Be afraid. Your Queen.’ Abaddon's getting more brazen. She thinks I'm losing my grip.” 

More anger came from Dean. I pressed a hand to his shoulder. “Dean...Dean.” I coaxed him to stand up. 

Sam then said quietly to him, “Listen, you said Crowley was only useful till we got the Blade. We got the Blade.” 

“Guys...I don’t think we should do-“ I couldn’t say another word as Crowley pinned the boys to the side of the car quickly. Sam dropped the blade and I whipped around at the demon. 

“You know, boys, I'm in debt to you.” He said as I quickly grabbed the blade by the hilt. Anger and disappointment came from the demon. “You forced sobriety on me, and now I can see the situation for what it is. Dean, you are quite the killing machine. And it occurs to me that Abaddon is not the _only_ name on your list. My name must be up there, as well.” 

“It’s no good to you without me.” Dean said. 

“Yes, but as long as I have it, it's no good to you. Now, this is the way it's going to go—I'll hang on to old donkey teeth here until such time as you locate Abaddon. Then you'll destroy _her._ You're right, moose. You can't trust me. But, sadly, I can't trust you, either.” The demon turned towards me with an out stretched hand. “Give it to me darling. I know what you sensed in there, and I have a feeling you don’t want squirrel and moose having the bloody thing more than _necessary_.” 

I sighed, and looked to the boys. “Guys, he’s right. Dean, what happened in there...it’s scared the hell out of me. It might be best for Crowley,” I turned towards him, “to hold onto it until the right time.” I held it up a moment, then said, “on one condition.”

Crowley smirked. “I always knew you were the smart one.” 

“When we call you to kill the bitch you come back to us _running_. And no tricks. You screw with us, and I’ll knife you myself.” 

“Of course, my dear.” He said. 

I said to the boys, “I’m sorry.” Then I handed it to the demon. “Don’t make me regret this.” The demon smiled and gave me a wink, then disappeared. 

I braced for the boys reaction and looked around. “What the hell?” Sam said with a slightly raised voice. Shock was all I could feel from him, and a bit of frustration. 

“You didn’t see what I did in there, Sam.” I said back defensively. 

“Now he’s in the wind!” Dean shouted at me. “My last chance to kill Abaddon.” 

“Crowley’s hiding it. That’s _all_...we don’t need it right now...Dean!” He finally looked me in the eye. “That thing...it’s nothing but trouble and darkness. It’s bad enough with the Mark but...Dean. You _changed_ in there. All I felt from you was pure anger. The kind that makes a person kill! You weren’t you!” The silence and realization that came from them told me they were seriously thinking about it. “I know it’s not what you wanted, but I think it’s best. If Crowley screws us then it’s on me okay? But I don’t think he will.” 

“Why not?” Sam asked. 

“Cause he rather have _her_ dead then screw with us.” I told him finally. “I did it cause who knows what would happen if we did keep it. I’m trying to protect you boys. And that thing...it’s nothing but evil.”

At those words, they both had waves of realization. Both brothers seemed to calm down, and Dean walked towards his side of the car. “Oh for—she scratched on this side too.” He said with another wave of anger. 

I went around to take a look at it. Although it wasn’t Enochian. My breath hitched as I recognized the language. “What is it?” Sam asked. 

“It’s...it’s Gaelic.” I said with a shaky voice. 

“You know Gaelic?” Dean asked. 

I nodded, not keeping my eyes off the words. “Jackson taught me.” 

“Jackson?” Sam asked. 

“Not a lot of people in the states know it, so we would speak basics whenever we were in trouble...which means Reagan knows it.” 

“You’re saying he was here?” 

I swallowed. “ _Gus an coinnich sinn a-rithist m ’aingeal. Bi deiseil_ ,” I read off a little awkwardly, since it had been so long since I spoke the language. “Until we meet again,’” I paused to stop myself from tearing up, “‘my angel...be ready.’ The bastard is taunting me now.” I took a deep breath to keep myself calm. Pure anger running through my veins. 

“All the more reason to find them.” Dean said then got in the car. Sam and I shared a look, worry was all I felt from him before we got in the car. We left the woods in silence. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that happened. Yeah having some fun with this original demon, more to come on that later. And adding to the drama between her and Dean next chapter. Up next, Mother’s Little Helper.


	17. Mother’s Little Helper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and I take on a case on our own where people’s souls are going missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finals happened. Today’s the last day thankfully so the pause on posting is over. Yay! Enjoy—Indigo

_“Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.”_ —Leo Buscaglia 

  
  


We had been searching for days for Abaddon and Reagan. But we had no luck. Worse off though, Dean was pissed at me. After returning to the bunker, he sulked off to his room without much of a word. Sam tried to assure me that it would pass. But I wasn’t so sure. I was beginning to believe that the mark was just changing him even more so after getting in touch with the blade. I knew I had to step carefully around him, and I only hoped he would forgive me eventually. 

I spoke with Sam about it of course. Once I explained myself, he got my reasoning for letting Crowley stash the blade, but couldn’t get behind not killing him. That was the Winchesters though. They never forget that kind of thing, and Crowley had done too much. I knew I couldn’t get them to let him live just like that, but it was good enough for the moment. 

When it came to Dean’s anger, I was just lost on it. “How did you deal with it? When he was _that_ pissed at you?” 

He chuckled across from me at the table. “It’s not easy. I guess you need to have patience. You’ve seen it, he’ll blow up then eventually forget about it I guess.” 

I shook my head. “I don’t think it’s that simple. I mean, your his brother, his blood. It’s different.” 

“Hey, your part of this family too.” He said with a wave of purpose and love. 

I smiled at it and nodded. “I know, but...I don’t know...one day the both of you could tire of me and throw me out on my ass. I’m not blood so-”

“Let me stop you right there.” He looked at me seriously and took my hand. “I said I wasn’t going to lose you ever again. I meant that. No matter how mad Dean gets at you...he wants you gone, I’m going with you.” 

I was taken aback. I knew the man’s history. “You would put me in front of your brother?” I said with disbelief. 

“If it’s something stupid like that, yeah. But I doubt he would ever. He loves you too, you know? That’s probably why he’s so pissed.” 

I chuckled a little. “Yeah...but I don’t think it’s just him.” 

Sam nodded. We had discussed how much the mark had changed Dean. And it was terrifying for me. I hated seeing the man we both loved go through that. And wondered if it was even reversible. Still we had a job to do. 

The next morning, Sam had gotten something that could be a case and we wanted to head out. Hoping it would help smooth things over with Dean, we both walked into the library with our bags over our shoulders to bring him along. 

“Hey.” Sam said as we entered. 

Dean was waving off a quiet anger and some exhaustion. “Hey,” he said, barely glancing up. 

“You catch any shut-eye last night?” I asked. 

Despite being pissed at me, Dean replied, “Nope.” 

After an exchanged look with me, Sam said, “guess I’m driving, then.” 

“Driving where?” 

Sam showed him the print out of the case we found. “Caught wind of a case online. A 1st-grade teacher came home and killed her husband.” 

“Well, maybe she snapped. Ankle biters can do that to you.” I raised an eyebrow at that. 

“Dude, she pounded him, into ground chuck.” 

Dean wasn’t paying much attention as he read the large, red covered book in front of him. “So, what are you thinking?” 

“Best guess—possession.” I said carefully. 

Dean didn’t look at me as he got up. “Why don’t you two go?” Then he turned his back on us and walked toward a box of files. 

“Dean, look.” Sam said, “We want to find Abaddon, too, but we've been combing through this stuff for days.” 

“Well, maybe we missed something.” He replied with a wave of determination. 

“And maybe there are better ways to spend our time than just spin our-”

I flinched as Dean shouted, “maybe we don’t have time!” He had a full burst of anger too that cause me to take a few steps back. 

“What’s up with you?” Sam asked, noticing my reaction. He walked towards his brother. 

“Nothing.” Dean grumbled as he pulled out a file, and began reading. 

“Yeah? See, because ever since you killed Magnus, you've been acting...sort of...obsessed.” 

Dean then turned back to us. “Well, maybe because I want an _end_ to all this.” His eyes went to mine for a moment. “Maybe because if we find Abaddon, then Crowley ponies up the First Blade and we kill her and him both. So, what you call being ‘obsessed,’ I call doing my job.” 

I looked away at that. I knew I was on thin ice with him on that, and his harsh words only confirmed it. Sam exchanged a look with me and said, “Okay, um...I get it, Dean. We’re just checking in.” 

“I’m fine.” He replied. 

Sam nodded, despite his wave of disbelief at his brother’s behavior, “Alright. Hit us up if you find anything.” 

Sam then took me out of the room, and we headed towards the garage. When we got to the Impala, Sam drove us to Milton Illinois. About an hour in, the subject went back to Dean. “He’s been so angry. Cagey. It scares me Sam.” 

He nodded. “I know. It’s starting to scare me too.” Concern was all over us. 

“There’s one thing Dean didn’t even think about when he got the damned thing you know?” 

“What?” 

“How to get it off.” We pondered over that for a while as we drove towards the town. 

…

We walked into the sheriffs station in our Fed suits with ease. Though I was still worried about Dean, it was good to work on a case just with Sam. The two of us began talking with one of the sheriffs on the case, and walking towards the cell block to speak with the woman who killed her husband. “It says here in your report that you were the first on the scene?” Sam asked. 

“Yes, sir. I found Mrs. Young sitting next to her husband covered in his blood.” 

“Now, was her husband abusive?” I asked. 

“Ric? Oh, no. Not at all.” He replied with a wave of surprise at the question. “I mean, he could be a stubborn S.O.B., but can't we all?” 

“Ah. Anything else, uh, weird that maybe you felt was too odd to include?” Sam asked. 

“Like?” 

“Like, did you smell sulfur?” 

“Why would I smell sulfur?” 

Sam was quick to recover. “Of course. Uh, thank you.” He said as the sheriff opened the cell block door for us. “What about Karen's eyes? You notice anything strange?” 

“Actually, agent, they, uh, pretty much looked like eyes.” Then we rounded the final corner in the cell block. As I didn’t sense anyone I grew concern, then the sheriff stopped in his tracks with full on shock. I looked up to see a middle aged woman hanging by her neck in the cell. “Oh Lord.” 

Sam and I exchanged a look at the sight. Then I noticed writing on the wall behind her, written in what I assumed was blood. As they called in the paramedics to take down the boys and all that, we were just stumped. 

As they rolled her away, the sheriff said, “I don't get this. Karen and Ric were two of the most ordinary people you'd ever meet.” 

“Did she go anywhere on the day of the murder?” I asked. 

“It was Saturday. Uh...A quick trip to the grocery store. That's about it.” I nodded at that. Nothing out of the normal. As we headed out towards the Impala for a motel, I told Sam to call Dean for an update. I didn’t want to speak with him, in fear he would get pissed off again. 

I leaned up next to Sam’s ear to listen in. After a few rings, Dean answered. “How's Mrs. Manson doing?” 

“Dead. Hung herself in her cell.” Sam replied. 

“Lovely. The demon smoke out?” 

A wave of frustration came from Sam, “If it was a demon. I mean, there was no sulfur, no EMF anywhere.” I couldn’t sense anything, I would have added. “And everyone who saw her just before she gutted her husband said she was totally fine.” 

“What are you still doing there? This sounds like a case of the crazies to me.” 

I sighed at that. I hated the fact that the case was turning out to be a bust. “Well, if nothing kicks up by morning, we’re out of here. How's the research going?” 

“It's going.” Dean replied simply. “Alright. Well, uh...Good luck.” 

Sam and I had reached the car as he finished the conversation. We exchanged a worried look, then got in. After running to a motel and settled in, we went on the clerk’s recommendation for dinner. A diner down the street. 

The two of us sat at the counter and the waitress seemed sweet. It was after dark, and you could say I was sulking a bit. After Sam put in our order, he asked, “wanna talk about it?” 

I smirked a little. “Isn’t that my line?” I quipped. He smiled back at me. “I don’t know. It’s just...weird. I’m pretty sure Dean’s my best friend.” 

He looked taken aback. “Really?” 

“Yeah, now that I think about it. We got through Purgatory together. I told stories to him that I wouldn’t tell anybody aside from you. He did the same with me. We’re bonded, you know? And when Gadreel had you…” Sam’s face fell at the mention. “When Kevin died...we hung on to each other. He’s honestly one of the best friend’s I’ve ever had...and I hate that he’s mad at me.” 

After a moment of quiet between us, despite the noisy diner in the middle of dinner rush, Sam grasped my hand on the table. “He’ll forgive you. It will just take time.” 

I smiled at that. Then the waitress got our orders from the kitchen window. She brought Sam as chicken salad while I got a burger and fries, “Can I get you anything else?” She asked sweetly. 

Sam smiled, “uh, this is great. Thank you.” 

The cook’s window dinged again as there was a new order. We began eating as I heard the bell on the door ring. A young man entered the room. I didn’t think much of it. “Be with you in a minute, Bill.” The waitress said. 

The kid sat down near us and grabbed a bowl of mashed potatoes from the plate near to him. I stared as he started stuffing his mouth with his hands. Not for the poor manners. For the fact that I couldn’t sense any waves of emotion from him.

“Billy, what are you doing? Your mother raise you in a barn?” The waitress asked as she watched him eat. 

“Don’t talk to me like that!” Billy shouted. 

Sam then noticed and spoke up. “Hey. Take it easy. She’s working hard.” 

“What’s eating you?” The waitress said as she approached the kid. 

He then pushed a glass off the counter. It shattered. “You. My mom.” He gestured towards Sam. “Him.” 

Sam quickly replied. “Buddy...Give it a rest.” He quickly exchanged a glance with me, noticing my stare at the young man. Billy’s eyes were on mine for a moment. Until the waitress stood in front of him from behind the counter. 

“Billy? Billy. I'm gonna call your mom, have her come fetch you.” 

“No, you’re not.” Billy then grabbed a knife from the counter and stabbed it through the waitress’s hand. She screamed as she was pinned to the counter. Sam and I quickly got up. 

Sam practically tackled the boy as he quickly disarmed him and knocked him out cold. I ran to the waitress and grabbed a rang from her apron. “Everything's gonna be okay.” I said as I wrapped her bleeding hand. I shouted to the cook. “Call an ambulance!” 

…

After getting her to a paramedic, the boy was arrested for assault. Sam and I found ourselves back in the cell block with the sheriff once again. There were now three other people locked up showing the same kind of ‘crazy’ as the first woman. More bloody words on walls. And something even worse. Every one of those people who were locked up? I couldn’t sense anything other than their stares. 

“So, tell me what’s happening here.” Sam said. 

A wave of disbelief came from the sheriff. “I was hoping you'd tell me. You're the one that mentioned weird.” 

“Now, where did they all come from?” I asked. 

“Oh, they're all locals. Four of the straightest arrows you'd ever meet. Apparently, they've been acting like this for days.” 

We all stared at them a moment. “Do they share anything in common? Church? School? Uh, book club?” Sam asked. 

“Not of my knowledge. Oh, I met the kid's girlfriend. She said he was hitching a ride when a van picked him up, and that's the last she heard of him. Whatever that's worth.” The sheriff was then called away. 

Sam and I exchanged a look as we walked towards Billy’s cell. Knowing that we were alone with the teen, Sam pulled out a small flask of holy water. He sprinkled it on the teen, who quickly got up and tried to reach at us through the bars. The only thing stopping him was the hand cuffs that chained his wrists to this waist. “What are you, Billy?” I asked firmly. 

“Clear.” 

“Of?” 

“Everything.” 

“Why are you doing this?” Sam asked.

“You think there's a ‘why?’ No. It's because I want to. And I can.” Sam and I exchanged a look, before we headed out of the cell block. I then voiced my concern over these people once we sat down at an empty con fence table. 

“Okay...this case just got even more complicated.” 

“What?” Sam asked with a wave of concern and worry. 

“I can’t sense them.” 

“You can’t?” 

“It’s like...they feel nothing. Zero emotion whatsoever.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled out his cell. He started a call as the sheriff came up to us. He handed me a few pictures. “Grocery store surveillance pics.” 

“Great.” I said with a forced smile. “Thank you.” 

We were looking through them, with Sam learning over so I could listen in on the call. After about five rings, Dean finally answered. “Hey.” He said. 

“Well, that took forever.” Sam quipped. 

“Uh, well, I'm working. You got anything?” 

“Not sure. But, um, a handful of other people have started acting out, too.” 

“Acting out how?” 

“Well, same as the woman—aggressive, um violent, impulsive.” 

“Sounds like you’re in a Gold’s gym.” 

I rolled my eyes, but smirked at the small joke. “Yeah.” I ventured, “but thing is I can’t sense them. No emotion at all.” 

Sam continued, “Yeah. Except it's less steroid-induced, and more...basic instinct. It's like the littlest things can set them off.” A full on wave of realization came from Sam. “Kind of like me.” 

I furrowed my brows as Dean said, “You?” 

“Yeah, uh, _soulless_ me. Remember that?” 

I could hear Dean’s small snort as I sensed Sam’s slight discomfort at the memories. “Yeah, how could I forget? But you weren't out of control like these people.” 

“Yeah, well, maybe everyone has a different reaction to losing their soul.” Sam replied. 

“Possible. So, what? A crossroads demon making deals and taking people's souls?” 

I shook my head at that. “No, I don't think so. I mean, it's not as if these people are winning the lotto,” Sam replied. 

“Okay. Uh, well, that was my best swing.” 

“I hope not, Dean. We could really use your help down here.” After a moment of silence, “Dean?” 

“Yeah, no, I-I heard you. I just, uh...I'm getting close, Sam. I can't drop the ball on Abaddon right now.” 

“Alright. Be safe.” Sam said then hung up. Going through the surveillance pictures, we focused on the case. 

“Do you see that?” I asked him as I noticed a van in the pictures. 

“Didn’t Billy get picked up by one?” 

I nodded, and looked up, sensing strong waves of urgency and panic coming from a woman in her sixties. Sam noticed too as she said, “Now, listen to me, young man. Those demons are back. I'm telling you, it's happening all over again.” 

“Demons?” The officer asked with disbelief. 

“Yes! Demon’s. Are you deaf?” Sam and I exchanged a look then got up from the table. 

“Yes, ma'am. You know what? We're gonna take care of those demons right away.” The officer said smugly. “Now, do you need a ride home or something?” 

“Don’t patronize me, you little turd.” I fought a laugh at that as we walked up. 

“Hey, you know what? We can take it from here.” I told the officer. We showed her our badges. “Um, I’m Agent Jones, and this is my partner Agent Leiter.” 

Sam then motioned to our table. “Please.” He said, offering her a seat. As she calmed down, I fetched her a cup of tea. 

“Here you are.” I said as I gave it to her. Despite the urgency, she was quite pleasant to be around. 

“Thank you.” She replied. 

“Sure.” I said as I sat down. 

Sam then said, “Now, why don't you tell me all about these demons, Ms. Wilkinson?” 

“Please, call me Julia.” She said with a smile. “It's very simple, Agent. They...they came to Milton.” 

“And?” 

She paused in thought. Surprised by our eagerness to hear our story. “I say ‘demons,’ and you don't bat an eye, when everyone else around here thinks I'm nuts on toast.” 

I chuckled, and said, “Maybe we’re just a bit more open minded than most.” 

She raised an eyebrow with a wave of realization. “Maybe. You're a couple of them, aren't you?” 

“Sorry. Couple of who?” Sam asked. 

“Men of Letters.” We were both taken aback to see that she knew about the defunct organization. She then said, “they came here in 1958.” 

“Men of Letters...came here?” I asked. 

“Oh, yes. It was different then. I was different. They were a lovely couple.” She smiled at us, “just like you two.” I couldn’t help the smile back, just like Sam. Then our smiles disappeared as she told her story. 

Back in the day, she used to be a nun. She lived in a convent not far from the town. One night, a man and a woman, posing as a priest and a nun from the Office of Inquisition in the church, came to her convent. Though really they were there for much different reasons. 

“They gave false names, but later I learned that the man's name was Henry.” 

A wave of surprise and hope came from Sam, “Henry Winchester?” 

“Never got a last name.” 

I nodded. “Okay,” I said, “and the woman?” 

“Josie.” A wave of surprise came from both Sam and I at the name of the woman Abaddon was possessing. “Did you know them?”” 

“Yes, uh...Sort of. It's complicated.” Sam replied. 

“I'm an ex-nun, sweetie. Complicated is my middle name.” 

We chuckled at that. “Now, what were they here to investigate?” 

“Sister Mary Catherine. She killed two people before jumping from the bell tower. So I took them to see Mother Superior and sister Agnes.” They got permission to investigate and Julia was in charge of taking them to Sister Agnes’ room.” 

They spoke of many strange things, though they didn’t know Julia was listening. When they entered the room of the murderous nun, they found many random drawings and scribbles on the walls. They were in Enochian apparently. Then Josie said something about the Knights of Hell. “Knights of Hell? What were they doing there?” I asked urgently. 

“I'm not sure of anything I saw that night.” She replied with an old wave of fear. “We couldn't leave our room after ten. Mother Superior forbade it.” That night, Julia got out of bed when she heard footsteps. She investigated it. Only to see her Mother superior dragging another girl down the stairs of the house. Only to then get knocked out cold. “I woke up in a dark place, tied to a chair. There were others. They were taken.” 

She proceeded to tell us about how the Mother Superior was doing something to the other victims. She was taking something that glowed from them. One by one. Until she was the last one left. “I was so scared. I prayed and prayed, but God didn't answer my prayers. Henry and Josie did.” 

They came into the room where Julia was and began trying to exorcise the demon’s. Julia in horror watched as smoke left the bodies of two of the nuns, but one was left. The one possessing mother superior. She hid as she watched everything go down. Henry tried to exorcise her, but was flung to the wall and knocked out cold. 

Josie they stopped the demon from possessing Henry when she learned that they were Men of Letters. She gave herself up for Henry out of unrequited love. Julia saw it all as one of the demon’s was there and learned that the demon’s name was Abaddon. She made plans to destroy the Men of Letters, and ordered the lower demon to continue their work there. 

“Abaddon. Did you ever see _exactly_ what she was doing down there?” Sam asked. 

“No, but whatever it was she was doing at St. Bonaventure, it seems to be happening again.” The name clicked for me. That was the name painted on the side of the van at the grocery store. 

“The convent's name was St. Bonaventure?” I asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Where is it?” 

“On the outskirts of town. It's been closed for years.” 

…

That night, we went to the old convent. We were in our normal clothes and I strapped on my sword. I had a feeling we were going up against a few demons. With our flashlights, Sam and I walked towards the chain link fence of the place. 

Breaking in easily, we walked the grounds, looking for any sign of the demon and the lost souls. “Sam.” I whispered when I found a door. It was unlocked so we went carefully inside. Sam was a few steps ahead of me as we searched a dark hallway. 

The place was falling apart from the years of disrepair. And it smelt like it as well. It was dark and wet for the most part. Seemed like the perfect place for a demon to hide. I doubted any human would want to come there. 

“Hey.” Sam said when he found a door with a set of stairs towards the basement. Walking carefully down, I was drawn to one side of the room. On a shelf, there were five large jars of brilliant blue light. Pure energy came from them as we walked closer. 

“These must be the missing souls.” I whispered. Before I could grasp one in my hands, I was tackled. A man with a white beard flung himself at us, but Sam quickly killed him with the demon knife. The flicker of the demon dying told me the man was possessed. 

Still, with the pure energy coming from the jars, I didn’t see another demon coming as she threw us back onto a pile of boxes. I heard the clang of the knife as I groaned. The demon said with waves of smugness, “Souls are a very precious and fragile thing. Break one of those, and them little buggers fly right back home.” She now had the knife in her hand. “We can't have that, now can we?” 

Sam and I both tried to stand as he said, “So, after all these years, you're still doing Abaddon's dirty work, huh, Agnes?” 

“Would you believe it's gotten even dirtier? Used to be folks _believed_ in the church. Heck, the way they would come strolling in here, looking for God. It was like fish in a barrel, really.” A wave of frustration then came from her as I got ready to take out my sword. “But times change. You can blame your perverts for that. Now I'm riding shotgun in some smelly van with a handyman and tricking any half-wit I can lay my hands on. But it's worth it.” 

“Because stealing souls is so noble.” I quipped as I tried to stand. 

“Stealing souls is winning!” She said then kicked me down in the chest, and with a wave of pure determination. 

“Winning what?” Sam asked while having a pure wave of protectiveness and fear. Our eyes met and I quietly nodded at him, ready for anything as we both looked up at the demon. 

“Hell's crown, nimrod. You think Abaddon is just gonna sit there while those pantywaisted demons refuse to pick a side?! And so she made a plan—if you can't convince 'em, make 'em.” 

My eyes grew wide at the notion. “She’s turning souls into demons?” I asked in horror. 

The demon smiled. “Hmm. A demon army, unbeatable, loyal only to her.” 

“Well, uh...At this rate...Should only take a couple million years. Have fun with that.” Sam quipped as he stood against a nearby post. 

“You think I'm the only one doing this? We have factories spread throughout. Worry not, though. Victory is nigh. And we'd like you to be on our team. Recruitment is easy. I just have to rip your souls out of your bodies.” 

Sam and I both had had enough of this shit. We both glared at her as new anger came from Sam. Hell I was just as pissed. Sam began an exorcism. “Regna terrae, cantate deo—“ 

She was too quick and rushed to Sam. Before I could stop her she threw me across the room again. It knocked the wind out of me. “Please!” She said. 

Thankfully, we had a back up plan. With the click of a phone being thrown, the prerecorded voice began playing. “ _Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.”_ The demon fell to the floor in pain as she tried to crawl towards the phone, struggling with the words. _“Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te.”_ As the exorcism continued, I caught my breath and staggered up. She couldn’t sense or hear me as I pulled out my sword and rushed at her. _Cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque aeternae perditionis venenum propinare. Vade, satana, inventor et Magister omnis fallaciae, hostis humanae salutis. Humiliare sub potenti manu dei-_ “ 

As she smashed the phone to bits, I stood over her. As she looked up, I quickly stabbed her in the chest. The demon flashed for a moment in the familiar light, and died as soon as the bloody blade left her chest. I sighed in relief as I watched Sam come towards me. 

He silently pulled me into his arms in a hug. Anxiety and relief came from him as it was over. The threat of her taking our souls seemed to get to him more than he wanted to let on. I hugged him back tightly, grateful that he was okay. 

After a moment, we went to the jars. One by one, we opened the glass lids, and let the glowing smoke of the soul escape the glass and float out of the room. “Let’s get the hell out of here.” I said after the last soul was returned. 

“Yeah.” Sam replied quietly. We left the abandoned building with light breaking. After putting away the weapons, we closed up the trunk. 

“Samuel?” I said, sensing the old anxiety still there. 

“Yeah.” 

“So you want to talk about it?” 

“About what?” He asked, though I sensed that he knew. 

I sighed. “She wanted our souls...that scared the hell out of you. And you never talk about that time when...when-“ 

“I had no soul?” He asked. I nodded in response. He sighed and there were a quiet few moments. I wasn’t even sure if he was going to speak about it. “No emotion. Impulsive. Calculating. I was hell of a hunter, but...I didn’t care. About anyone. Even myself. I wasn’t me...I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.” 

I smiled a little at that. “And _that_...is what makes you Sam I love.” 

He smiled back at me a moment before getting into the car. Running back to the police station. We checked on the people in the cell block quietly, just to see that all four now had their souls back. Taking our leave, we found Julia leaving for her car. 

We ran up behind her, wanting to say goodbye. “You know, um, can I ask you something?” Sam said when we stopped her. 

“If it’s for you two to set up a double date, I’m sorry. I never see anyone under 65. Too much drama.” We both chuckled at that. “Spit it out.” She said with a small laugh. 

“After witnessing what you did, why didn't you warn Henry about Abaddon?” 

A wave of grief and regret came from her. “I became a nun because I wanted to help people. Make a difference. But they never prepare you. They never tell you how to act in the face of true evil.” Sam and I exchanged a look at that. “Soon after, I left the order.” 

“Why?” I asked gently. 

Another strong wave of regret came from her as she started to get choked up. “Because I was ashamed. I had betrayed our flock, God, myself. It was and still is my greatest shame.” 

“Well, what you shared with us saved lives.” I said to her.

“And we couldn't have done that without you.” Sam replied. I pressed a hand to her her shoulder with a smile. “Take care.” 

“You too.” She replied. After that, she left for her car. And we did the same not long after. Though, as we drove on I decided to call Dean myself. He just didn’t answer.   
  


“Hey, Dean. It’s me.” I said as the phone recorded my message. “I wanna say I’m sorry. I know what I did, it pissed you off and it made things way more complicated. But...I did it to protect you and Sam. I won’t apologize for that. But...I don’t know, I would love to talk more about this when we get home. I just wanted say...isn’t life too short to be angry at eachother? See you at home. Bye.” 

…

We returned home that night. Sam and talked almost the entire ride home. Mostly it was little things to pass the time. But it just made me more grateful to be alive and safe. Despite Dean’s anger with me or the angel war, or the war on hell for that matter. I was just grateful. Grateful to have a family who loves me. 

As we returned to the bunker, I had hoped to speak with Dean and hash it out. Try to apologize and get to work. And it looked like I would have that opportunity. After getting our things out away, Sam and I walked into the library. He carried a pack of berry towards the fridge and put them away. 

“Still plugging away?” Sam asked Dean as I took off my jacket to sit down. 

“Like a dog with a bone. You?” Dean looked up at me. There wasn’t any anger anymore from him. Just determination to get this done. As tired as he was, he still wanted to end the job. As Sam walked towards his seat at the other table, grabbing a large stack of files on his way there, Dean handed me a file to look through. With a quiet nod, I sensed that he wasn’t angry with me anymore. I nodded back as I sat down to work. _He must have gotten my message._

Sam then had a wave of anxiety. “You were right.” He said. 

“About what?” Dean asked. 

“Finding Abaddon ASAP.” 

“She's mining souls.” I told him. 

A new wave of urgency came from Dean. “Why?” 

“To create an army.” So we hit the ground running even more. Finding Abaddon became our priority. And we had work to do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next! Metafiction. One of my favorite episodes of nine!


	18. Metafiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a lead on Metatron, so we go after one of his closest allies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! So, looks like this is my last chapter before Christmas. So, wishing everyone happy holidays! I know some have already come to past, but wanted to wish everyone a good one anyways. Here’s Metafiction!

  
_“Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up, always.”_ —Glennon Doyle Melton 

  
  


Finding Reagan and Abaddon had become an impossible task. Everywhere we looked, we kept hitting walls. And Dean had become even more agitated and angry. Some things had returned to normal between him and I, with our jokes and banter, but his quiet anger had become a constant. And it wasn’t because of me. It was because of the mark. 

It had been days since that last case, and I only grew more worried. And the world had seemed to grow even more dangerous. Sam was getting off the phone with a fellow hunter in the middle of our research as we worked at the war table. “Listen, you, uh, if you catch wind of any other demon activity, give me a holler, alright? Appreciate it.” He hung up and looked around as Dean came up behind him.

Dean was still waving off exhaustion and worry. “Hey.” I said. 

“Anything?” 

Sam wrote down the case that Carlos had caught on a sticky note and stuck it down to the files we were working on. “Yeah. A dozen demon-related cases, people without souls acting out, but…” 

“But no sign of Abaddon.” Dean finished with a wave of defeat and frustration. 

“Right.”

“Looks like she's vanished.” I told him. 

“Well, we just got to keep digging.” Dean said staring at the files. Then without much thought, his hand went over the spot where the mark was on his arm. 

“You okay?” Sam looked up too, waving off worry. 

“Yeah. I'm fine. Let's get to work.” Dean said. 

“Alright.” Sam replied after exchanging a look with me. They both got onto their phones as I continued looking through files. About an hour in, and I decided to get out my laptop. Checking through the normal channels I had been going through since the day I started looking for Reagan. 

It had been a difficult search. Looking for such a familiar face knowing that it won’t be the person that body used to be. Honestly, I was just tired of it. But I knew one thing. I couldn’t put my head in the sand on this. I had to find Reagan. I had to stop him and Abaddon. 

As I stared at the screen, checking for demon omens, I twisted the ring on my right finger. Dean had stepped out, so Sam was standing across from me. “What’s bugging you?” He asked with a small wave of concern. 

“Reagan.” I replied without looking up. “Who else?” 

He nodded. “We’ll find him.” Our eyes met, and we nodded at each other in agreement. Then his cell rang. He picked it up and put it on speaker. “Hey Cas.” 

“Hello Sam.” 

“Hi Cas, I’m here too with Dean.” I said as he came back in the room at the angel’s voice, “what’s up.” 

“I came across something. An angel working for Metatron has been recruiting other angels. He says that they may return to heaven if they do so...killing others that won’t go their way. I met a survivor.” 

“Do you know who’s working with him?” I asked urgently. 

There was a pause. With a careful but urgent voice, Castiel said, “Gadreel.” 

A wave of anger and shock came from Sam, “Gadreel? Gadreel is working for Metatron? For how long?” 

“I don’t know.” Cas said. 

“So, Metatron made Gadreel kill Kevin?” Dean asked. That cause a wave of grief from all three of us. 

“It would explain a lot, _and_ there have been no new prophets, which Metatron could have fixed to his advantage.” 

“And Gadreel said that angels are returning to heaven?” I asked. “How? I thought that the spell was irreversible.” 

“That's what Crowley said.” Sam replied, then with a new wave of anger, “Look, let's just find Gadreel and...and _beat_ some answers out of him.” 

“Yeah, here's something to start with that,” Cas agreed. “Uh...Hold on, I'm, uh…Sending you a photo of the symbol that drew all the angels in.” 

I pulled up my laptop again, and got to my email. I quickly got it from Cas and was thankful he knew how to work it now. “Okay. Got it.” I said then turned it to Sam. It was a strange symbol that seemed to be burned into the wall. Both boys took a look at it. 

“It's acting as some kind of angel siren. I think it's a spell.” Cas told us. “The ingredients used to create it were very odd...Griffin feathers, bones of a fairy. I've never seen it before.” 

“Yeah.” Sam said as he sat down, “me, neither. Alright. Let me see what I can find.” He began typing on the laptop quickly. I leaned over to watch. 

“‘Honor bar?’” Cas said absentmindedly. “What's honorable about a miniature bar in a motel room?” 

“Everything.” Dean joked. I smiled at him a moment, glad to see his humor was still intact. 

“How are you, Dean?” Cas asked gently. They hadn’t seen each other in a long time. 

“I’m fine, Cas.” Dean said in a matching gentleness. It was rare to see. “How ‘bout you?” 

With a wistful voice, “I miss my wings. Life on the road...smells.” 

Dean and I chuckled at that. Sam then found something. “Yeah. Listen, I got a match, and it's not from the lore...it's from police records.” 

I then said, “Looks like that symbol you found was spotted at a handful of crime scenes the last couple days, all multiple homicides.” I looked at the boys concerned. 

“And where were these crime scenes?” Cas asked us. 

“Uh, Utah…” Sam replied, “Baker, Hill Valley.” 

“And I'm in Bishop's Falls, Utah.” 

“Also looks like most of the crime scenes were in industrial areas.” 

After a moment, Cas said, “Looks like Gadreel is heading north.” 

“What’s the next big town?” I asked. 

“There are two. It could be Auburn or Ogden.” 

“Alright, you take Auburn, we'll take Ogden...meet in the middle.” Dean said and quickly hung up as I stood. Then he asked, “Didn't we work a case in Ogden?” 

A wave of realization came from Sam, “Yeah. It was a...it was a witch situation, right?” 

“Yeah. There was that kid in town that helped us, wasn't there?” 

“Yes.” 

“We should call him,” I said before heading to my room to pack, “see if he's still in business.” 

“Yeah. What was his name?” Dean asked. 

“Ian...something.” Sam said. 

…

We left the bunker and got to Ogden that night. The first place we stopped at was Ian’s. The door was open and the sign said so, but it was dark as we entered the place. We searched with flashlights, looking for their contact. Dean went up to the glass counter. “Got an open box of feathers over here.” 

I looked around some cabinets as Sam took the back. I heard the opening of the door then a wave of shock. “Dean.” He called out. We both looked over to see a dead body of a man with long dark hair and a beard hanging on the door. His eyes were burnt out from a smiting.

“We got to find Gadreel before he lights up the bat signal.” Dean said. 

“Wipe your prints. Let’s go.” I said. We quickly left the shop and started walking around the block. Then we found this car. It had Gadreel’s bright energy all over it. “He’s still here.” 

Dean nodded with a wave of determination. “I got a plan. Let’s go.” 

Soon enough, we grabbed the holy oil from the back of the Impala. Setting out the trap, while I used my senses to find Gadreel. He was walking down the alleyway when Dean and I hid on the level above it. We could see everything from the metal scaffolding. Sam went the other direction on the ground planning to lure the angel out. 

When I saw Gadreel, in the old vessel we met him in, anger burned through me. I could also sense it from Dean. Soon enough, Sam walked out near the circle, pretending that he didn’t see Gadreel, and pretended to leave Cas a message. “Cas, it's Sam again. Call us. We need your help.” 

I could sense Gadreel’s determination as he got ready to strike. He stepped into the circle and Sam saw him finally. “Hey, douchebag.” Dean called out, and I flicked on Dean’s lighter and threw it to the oil. Gadreel looked up as the flames circled him and his eyes met mine. 

“Remember me?” Sam said in absolute, pure anger. Gadreel stared daggers at Sam. They quickly worked to disarm and cuff the angel. We took him into the abandoned factory and bound him into a chair, as well as a fancy trap painted on the floor. 

Gadreel didn’t speak to me, nor did I to him. But I could sense that he had a small wave of joy in seeing me again. It left a pit in my stomach. Sam and I looked on as Dean finished tying him up. I held on tightly to the angel blade that I stole from Gadreel as he spoke smugly to Sam. “If this is like looking into a fun-house mirror for me, I cannot imagine what it is like for you.” 

His anger and rage were as evident in his energy as it was in his voice. “How long have you been working for Metatron?” Sam asked harshly. 

“I will not talk, and you cannot make me.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I have been you, Sam Winchester. Your insides reek of shame and weakness.” 

That was it. Sam rushed at Gadreel and threw a punch at the angel’s face. I ran to Sam and grabbed him by the front of his flannel shirt. “Sam. Sam!” My voice got him to stop and I pulled him away from our captive. 

Dean followed as I took him aside, his eyes hardly leaving Gadreel. “He's not gonna crack that fast.” 

A wave of determination and anger came from him, “I know. Maybe you could hack him like you and Crowley hacked me.” 

“No-no-no-no. Crowley's the only one who can do that. And I'm in no mood to call that dickbag.” 

“We need Cas.” I replied to that. 

“Any word from him?” Sam asked. 

“No. I tried him again.” Dean said, “He hasn't called, he hasn't texted. I turned on the GPS on his phone. He's still in the same town where we talked to him last.” 

“What the hell?” Sam asked. 

“I don’t know. You got to find him.”

“What?” 

“You’re too close to this, man.” 

“Dean’s right.” I said quickly. 

“And, what, you're not?” Sam asked both him and I. 

“We're not at this five minutes, you're already going Liam Neeson on his ass.” Dean said. 

“Sam, we’ve got this.” I replied, knowing full well I needed to face this. 

A wave of realization came from him and he nodded at Dean, then he looked down at me. “Are you _sure_ you want to stay?” 

“Yes.” I said firmly. “Go find Cas.” After a final moment of looking down at me then to the angel with a wave of protectiveness and anger, he left. Dean then walked back towards Gadreel with that quiet anger again. I followed carefully with an icy stare. 

“So, he acts tough, and you show kindness. Is that how this works?” Gadreel asked Dean with smugness, though I could sense some fear in him. 

“No.” Dean said in a calm voice. “See, I don't care whether you talk. You're gonna pay for what you did to him...and Kevin.” I swallowed at the small wave of darkness that I could sense. But it wasn’t from him. It was from the mark. He took off his jacket and set it down, then he turned to me and held out his hand for the blade. 

I had both pairs of eyes on me as the tough exterior of Gadreel faltered. He had fear in his eyes. “You do not wish to see this, little one.” He said calmly. 

I clenched my teeth and looked away. “Don’t call me that.” I handed the blade to Dean and he quickly got to work. After the first few slashes, I walked back a few steps, the waves of pain and the screaming becoming incredibly uncomfortable. Despite how I felt about the angel, it was still hard to see and feel. 

During a pause in the torture, I asked, “Where is Metatron?” Silence from the angel and another slash from Dean. 

After his scream, Dean demanded, “Answer her.” More silence. Dean then dug even deeper into Gadreel’s arm, causing his screams to be even more agonizing. Blood now covered the blade. Dean noticed and walked a few steps back to clean it off. “Word around the campfire is, you let the snake into the garden, ruined it for all humanity.” 

Gadreel was breathing hard as he looked at me. “I set them free. I loved humanity!” I furrowed my eyebrows at hearing this truth. 

Still, Dean was angry. “Well, you sure got a funny way of showing it, asshat. Now, look, you tell me about this ‘getting back into heaven’ crap, and I'll end this quick. Otherwise, you can sit here and rot in those chains _forever_. Up to you.” 

“All your talk, all your bluster...you think you are invincible. The three of you against the world, right?” 

Dean turned his back to Gadreel and looked at me. “Damn straight.” I could sense his anger and sadness at the still broken relationship between him and his brother. My eyes softened at him. 

“You really think Sam would do anything for you?” Gadreel asked. 

Dean’s face fell a moment, then he pulled on his hardened face after an icy stare at Gadreel. He turned back. “Oh, I know he would.” 

“I have been in your brother's body, Dean. He would not trade his life for yours.” It was a lie. I fought to keep the surprise from my face. 

“Well, thanks for the rerun, pal.” Dean said, keeping his anger. “Sam's already told me all that crap. Hell, he's told me worse.” 

“He told you that he has always felt that way,” Gadreel said with a wave of smugness, “that he thinks you are just a scared little boy who's afraid to be on his own because daddy never loved him enough? And he is right, isn't he? Right to think you are a coward, a sad, clingy, needy…”

Dean punched him in his face. Gadreel sent out a wave of pain and his lip bled. “Keep it up!” Dean shouted. 

“Pathetic bottom-feeder who cannot even take care of himself, who would rather drag _everyone_ through the mud than be alone, who would let everyone around him die!” 

Dean couldn’t take it anymore. “Dean!” I shouted as he was about to make the final blow with the blade. But he stopped. Not at my words. No, we both noticed how Gadreel closed his eyes. Pure acceptance came from him. We both stared as some of the anger dissipated from Dean. 

The angel opened his eyes in anger and horror. “No. Do it. Do it! Kill me!” 

It dawned on Dean and I at the same time. We looked at eachother, then he said to the angel, “Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?” He said coldly. “That's what that whole speech was about? You're not afraid to die, are you? You're afraid to be left in these chains forever. Well, you can sit here and _rot_ , you son of bitch.” 

He threw down the blade to the floor. Pure disappointment and horror came from Gadreel. Then a small wave of discomfort came from Dean. I looked up to him and pressed a hand to his shoulder. “Go take a break.” He looked down at me with a wave of protectiveness. “I’ll be fine. I can handle myself.”

Dean nodded then went out of the room. Down the hall was a disgusting bathroom that still had running water, so I assumed he would be there. Once he left, I could feel Gadreel’s stare. I turned away and began to pace, not wishing to meet his gaze. “You didn’t tell them?” 

“Of what? You? Going inside my head...Sam knows.” 

There was a small pause and a wave of nostalgia. “You loved the beach. Every time I took you there...you would smile-“ 

“Don’t. _Don’t_ do that.” I said and glared at him. He grimaced at my words. “Don’t you _dare_ talk about that with me. You don’t know me. You just think you do. Cause you had access to Sam’s head. Cause you went and poked around in mine.” 

“I only ever saw your dreams.” He said with a wave of sadness. “I never intended to hurt you...in our time together, you seemed to care for me.”

I shook my head at the disbelief of it. “You forced yourself into my head. I didn’t even know you were real. Gadreel you—you _killed_ Kevin. My friend right in front of me. You kidnapped my boyfriend! Are you kidding me? If you're implying that we were once friends? You’re wrong. All you ever did was hurt me.” 

Waves of regret then came from him. He looked away from me and thought for a moment. “I wish we were that…” he said quietly. “I wish that we were not on opposite sides of a war. But you will see. You will see it was justified. You will be spared in it, I promise you. When the dust clears...you will see.” Suddenly the notion was clear. He intended to protect me, possibly have me to himself. The thought made me sick. 

“I don’t.” I said to him. “And don’t think I ever will.”

“You will.” He said with a pure wave of determination. “Once Metatron wins the war...you will see.” Silence fell after his words. After a few more minutes, Dean came in wafting off pain. 

“Go outside. Wait for Sam. He’s on his way back.” 

“What?” I said, “why? I’m not leaving you here alone with him.” 

“Go.” He said firmly. “I don’t want you to see this.” 

I looked between him and the angel. “You’re not-“ 

“No...but you don’t want to see this.” He said with a cold stare. I swallowed, then listened to him. Something in his voice told me that this had more to do with the mark than the angel. And this was something he didn’t want me to see in all his shame. 

I went outside of the building and took out my cell phone. I had a few missed calls from Sam. So I called him back. “Hey.” I said a little panicked. 

I could hear the relief in his voice. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah we’re fine...though I’m not sure for how much longer.” 

“I’m on my way. Cas is missing but I think I found something about Metatron. I’ll explain when I get there. I’m a few minutes out.” 

“Okay. Get here safe.” We said goodbye and I hung up. Soon enough, Sam was there. He got out quickly and was waving off a bit of relief when he saw me. 

“Why are you out here?” He asked as we walked back into the building. 

“Dean sent me out. Said he didn’t want me to see what he was going to do with him.” That caused a bit more panic, so he stepped faster. I almost had to jog to try and keep up with his long legs. 

When we entered the room again, we found the chair we had binded Gadreel in upturned and empty. We both panicked as we rushed and looked around the room. “Dean?” I called out. 

“Dean!” Sam shouted then we both saw him. The older brother was propped against the wall. We both rushed to him. “Dean. Hey! Are...are you okay?” 

He was awake as I picked up his right hand gently. It was bruised and bloody. “Yeah. Yeah, you got to stop asking me that.” I then looked over as I sensed Gadreel’s unconscious form. He was bloody and clearly beaten. 

“I've been calling you. I mean, w-why didn't you, uh…”

“He won’t talk.” Dean said simply. 

“I figured.” 

A wave of desperation and fear then came from Dean. “He wanted to die, and I was gonna kill him. I was. But then I stopped 'cause I know we need him to talk.” 

“Honey, I know. I know.” I said to him gently. 

Sam then said with a wave of urgency, “Dean, listen. Metatron has Cas.” A wave of panic came from both Dean and I at that. “He's offering up a trade.” 

“We can’t trust Metatron.” Dean said firmly. 

“I-I know that. Obviously. But look, this is the first time we're gonna know for _sure_ where Metatron is. Let's take Gadreel to the meet-up, make the exchange, and then trap Metatron.” 

After a moment, I said, “where does he want to meet?” 

…

The next day, around six in the afternoon, we waited at the motel parking lot where Cas was last seen. Gadreel was in the trunk, and the three of us stood next to the Impala. Dean put out a circle of holy oil while we laid in wait. Anxiety and impatience came from the brothers. “He’s late.” Sam said. 

“Or he’s not gonna show.” Dean replied. 

Before I could quip, a being appeared in front of us waving off power and pride. Metatron stood before us with a smile. “Of course I'm gonna show. I was just waiting for you three to finish setting up your little trap for me. Uh...Am I hitting my mark?” I exchanged a look with Dean. “Well, come on. Let's go. I'm waiting.” 

Dean lit a lighter and threw it on the holy oil. The fire circled Metatron but all he had was waves of amusement. He faked some agony then laughed at us with a wicked smile. “Any of you bring s'mores? Holy Fire always gives them a delightful minty aftertaste. Make a wish, boys.” He then crouched down and blew at the flames. They went out quickly and we sprung to action. 

The three of us drew our angel blades, but were thrown back against the side of the Impala with the flick of Metatron’s wrist. “No thanks!” He said with delight. Our blades out of the way. 

“You have to be kidding me.” I grumbled as he walked around the car to the trunk. 

The trunk then opened on its own. He flicked away the angel warding as well. “Bye-bye.” He said to it. Gadreel then climbed out. They circled us as another car pulled up. Cas then got out with waves of anxiety and relief at seeing us. Gadreel wouldn’t stop staring at me. “Well, a deal is a deal.” 

“Why are you doing this?” Dean asked. 

“Because I can.” Metatron replied with waves of even more pride. “Because you and your little brother, your part Nephilim girl, and your fine, feathered friend and all those secrets you've got locked away in your bunker can't stop me. But I am gonna enjoy watching you try. It's gonna be a hell of a show.” He turned to Cas. “I'll see you around, Castiel. Never forget I gave you a chance.” Metatron then disappeared. 

Before he would get in the car himself, Gadreel said a few words to me. “Once this is over...you will see.” With that, he got in the car with the other angels and left. 

My heart was beating out of my chest as we stepped away from the car. “Somebody want to tell me what the hell's going on here?” Dean asked with waves of shock and frustration. 

“Metatron is trying to play God.” Cas explained. 

“Play God?” Sam said with defeat, “Cas, he erased angel warding. He friggin' blew out Holy Fire. He _is_ God. He's powering up with the angel tablet.” 

“How the hell are we supposed to stop this guy?” I asked. 

“Alright, so what if there is a stairway to heaven?” Dean asked. “We find it and get a drop on the guy.” 

“You want to sneak onto the Death Star, take out the emperor?” I said dryly. 

Cas had a wave of realization as he said, “Okay I...I'm not sure what a fictional battle station in space has to do with this, but if taking out the emperor means taking out Metatron, I'm on board.” 

The three of us all got confused as the brothers exchanged a look. “Wait, did you...did you just understand a Death Star reference?” Dean asked him. 

“Yeah, I think so. But I don't understand what that has to do with heaven.” 

“It’s halfway, I guess.” Sam replied. 

“You sure you’re alright?” Dean asked. 

“Yes. Are you? There's something different about you.” I had a feeling Cas was sensing the mark as well. 

“I’m fine.” Dean lied as he patted Cas’s shoulder. I gave Cas a look saying he wasn’t, so he grabbed Dean’s arm and pushed up the sleeve. Cas took one look at the mark and his eyes darkened. He waved of fear and anger for his friend. “What have you done?” 

Dean ripped his hand away. “It’s a means to an end.” 

“Dammit, Dean.” 

“Look, you find heaven, you drop a dime. Meantime, I got a knight to kill.” He stomped away towards the driver's seat. 

I sighed. “I gave him the same speech, trust me,” I told him. “You good on your own?” 

He nodded. Then Sam said to him, “Be safe out there.” 

“You, too.” Then Cas said to me. “Are you alright? Gadreel…” 

“I’m okay...though I have a feeling Dean’s going to want to talk about it.” I replied. I smiled a little at him then gave Cas a hug. “Be careful.” 

“I will.” He replied. Then we broke away. As Sam and I walked towards the car, he said, “Hey. You keep an eye on him.” We both nodded at the angel, then went into the car. Dean drove us away briskly after that.

As we drove down the road, Sam and I were both worried. Especially for Dean. Everything was so frustrating and the tasks ahead of us seemed impossible. Driving further into the night, Dean said, “what did he mean?” 

“Who?” I asked. 

“Gadreel...what did he mean by ‘you will see?’” 

I paused a moment, avoiding both of the brother’s eyes. “He thinks that I will understand his motives after the angel war is over, whatever that means.” 

“Hmm.” Sam and I shared a look at his response. I knew Sam wanted me to tell Dean about Gadreel, but with the shake of my head, I told Sam no. I wasn’t ready for that yet. But I knew, if we were going to see Gadreel again, it would come up once more. I just wasn’t sure if I would ever feel ready for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next! Alex Annie Alexis Ann


	19. Alex Annie Alexis Ann

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting a call from Jody, we meet a girl on the run from her family of vampires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Here’s the new chapter. I know I haven’t posted in quite a few days, but the holidays get kind of crazy and the break was nice. Going to post more frequently now. Enjoy this chapter, and btw notes on the next one at the end.—Indigo

  
_“They asked her, ‘how did you free yourself?’ She answered, ‘by embracing my own power.’_ ”—Yung Pueblo 

  
  


The hunt was still on for the demon Abaddon, and we got squat. All three of us were getting exhausted with it, and the run in with Gadreel and Metatron only worsened our frustrations. So that morning, I got up early. Earlier than Sam as he elected to sleep in from staying up so late the night before. I also knew that Dean was asleep as well due to his steady waves of calm that I sensed from down the hall.

So I got dressed silently and headed to the kitchen. I figured that we all needed a break, and a home cooked breakfast seemed simple and easy enough. Turning on the radio and listening to some morning music I got to work. 

I pulled out bacon and eggs from the fridge and even got out the easy pancake mix Dean hadn’t touched in weeks. I started the coffee maker and swayed to the fun pop music as I woke my body up and got moving. 

I hummed along to a throwback song as I put the batter together and, heated up two of our cast iron skillets to cook everything. Soon enough, the room filled with the aroma of bacon and coffee. Two beloved smells for my boys. I even did the extra work and separated the yolks from the whites for Sam to make one of his egg white omelets. 

I was about to flip the first pancake when I sensed both Sam and Dean down the hall. At first it was just curious waves, then of surprise when I assumed they saw each other. I flipped the cake as they both walked in. “Morning!” I said in a cheery voice as I was already down one cup of caffeine. 

Dean looked at my pile of bacon with a wave of hunger and had a small one of panic. “You didn’t forget an anniversary did you?” He asked his brother. 

“No.” Sam said, then had a wave of panic, “no….right?” 

I laughed, “No you didn’t. I just thought that we have been working ourselves ragged, and decided that a _real_ breakfast would be nice.” 

Dean smiled a little and went straight to the coffee, though his wave of joy at seeing the bacon told me he was happy about it. Sam just grinned and came over. “Need help?” He asked. 

I shook my head, “not really, but if you want one of your egg white omelettes I’ve already got the whites separated.” 

He chuckled a bit and kissed me on the cheek as a thanks. I continued on the pancakes until there wasn’t any batter left, and the bacon and eggs, including Sam’s omelette, was done too. Plating up, Dean had a big smile as we all sat down to eat. 

Eating up eagerly, the boys waved off contemptment, and I was happy too. It was a good morning. One we hadn’t had in a while. Then I got a cell phone call. I was surprised to see who it was. “Morning Jody.” I said with a surprised smile. 

Dean had a mouthful of bacon as he looked at me. “Hey. Morning Sweetie. How are you guys?” 

“We’re doing okay, what’s up?” 

“Got a case for you guys. I think I found a, uh, vampire. Could use your help.” 

I raised my eyebrows at that. “On our way after breakfast.” I told her. We quickly said goodbye and I stood to grab my already empty plate. “Jody’s got a vamp in Sioux Falls.” 

The boys had a small wave of concern and excitement as they finished their own plates. We cleared up as much as we could then headed out. 

…

It was raining in Sioux Falls when we got to the sheriffs station. Jody met us in the parking lot and we all got out. “You guys are a sight.” She said with waves of relief. 

“Jody.” Sam said with a smile. “How’s the shoulder? 

“Eh, only aches when it rains.” I chuckled at that. “How you been?” 

“Peachy.” Dean replied. 

“Touch and go.” I said a little more dryly than I should have. 

“I know the feeling.” She replied. 

“So, what you got for us?” Dean asked with an eager wave. Jody then turned to the trunk of her sheriff’s car and opened it. 

In the back was a dead body of a man in his twenties, well one without its head attached. It was sitting next to it as Sam looked around and went up to it. He lifted the lip and pressed against the gums. And out came the retractable fangs. “Yeah, uh, that's a vamp, alright.” Sam said, letting the head go. 

“Alright Mills. First vamp kill.” I said proudly. 

I could sense the same pride from both brothers. Dean then said. “I don't know, Sammy. Looks like Jody might not need our help anymore.” 

Sam smiled, “Oh, they grow up too fast.” 

“Don’t they?” 

I chuckled then Jody said, “Yeah, joke all you want. There's more where this came from.” 

“More?” I asked. 

“My men brought in a runaway last night. There's no I.D. on her—nothing on her, actually, except for a bus ticket out of Nebraska. Total Jane Doe. She won't even give me her name. Girl's basically feral. She's got zero manners, didn't even _thank_ me for saving her. Anyhow, this thing went to plenty of trouble to get at her. And to hear him tell it, the ‘others’ will want her _at least_ as bad as he did.” 

“Sounds like a nest.” Sam said. 

“Yeah.” I replied with concern. 

“Nest?” Jody said with a bit of horror coming off her, “I'm guessing that's not half as cute and cozy as it sounds.” 

“Oh, I’m afraid not.” Dean told her. 

I nodded, then said, “so you want us to talk to her?” 

She smirk, “well, your ‘special skills’ might help, if you’re up for a teenager.” 

I chuckled. “Bring it on.” 

So Jody took us in to see the girl. Jane Doe had long dark hair, a small frame, and blue eyes. She was waving off fear as we came in. Jody made sure we wouldn’t be disturbed as Sam and Dean both wanted a fang check. 

Dean and I both stood by, as Sam managed to check her gums with a cheek swab test. After a wave of anger and finding nothing, Sam stepped back and went behind her. He shook his head and I nodded. _Just like I thought, the girl is human_. 

She scrutinized the three of us. “Johnson, Wilson, and Fisher? You three are FBI, then I'm Taylor Swift. That wasn't a dental I.D.” She said angrily, “It was a _fang_ check. You're hunters.” 

Dean had enough of her attitude. “And you're _alive_ because, uh, hunters trained the sheriff. I think the first words out of your mouth should be a thank you.” As Dean began asking questions, I noticed some scars on her neck. I subtly nodded towards Sam to see them too. “So, who were you to this vamp, anyway? Hmm? What's so special about you? Is there a nest?” 

Sam then leaned over to see them, but the girl shrugged and moved her flannel collar higher to hide them. Then Jody opened the door, we all turned at her words. “Sorry to interrupt.” She said, “We got a match on her DNA.” 

Sam and I exchanged a glance as we walked out, waves of fear and anxiety came from the girl as we closed the door behind us. “Annie Jones.” She informed us and handed out a couple of missing files and a flyer. “Reported abducted outside of Kenosha in '06. Raised by an elderly grandparent. No living kin. You think the vamps are the ones who took her?” 

I sighed, and Dean said, “Eight years is a long time for a human to live with vampires without getting killed or turned.” 

“You're the experts,” Jody said back with a wave of concern, “but there was something... _familiar_ about the way this vamp talked to her.” 

“Jody's right. And she had scars on her neck, feeding scars.” I told them. 

“Yeah,” Sam said, “Uh...They're layered, as if they'd been _built_ on for years.” 

“So she's a blood slave.” Dean said to my disgust. “We've seen it before—vampires keeping people as pets, human feedbags. Sometimes these slaves…” 

“Stay loyal to their captors.” I told Jody gently. I sensed her horror and sadness for this girl. 

“Yeah.”

Jody still was surprised by all of this, “So...This girl's not talking 'cause she's got a case of...what? Vampiric Stockholm syndrome?” 

“She’s protecting the nest.” Dean said. 

I crossed my arms. “Then why did she have a bus ticket?” 

“Good question. Let’s ask.” So we all went back in. Sam and I sat across from her at the table, and I decided to take the lead. 

I explained to her some things about the vamp’s, and said, “So, you feel a debt.” 

“They gave you a home, raised you.” Dean said. 

“Annie, we get it.” Sam told her, “Loyalty is a very powerful thing.” 

She had a wave of anxiety and slight anger at the name. “My name is Alex.” 

“No, it's not. Your name is Annie Jones.” 

“Those vampires stole you. They're monsters, Annie.” Dean told her with a wave of anger himself. 

“Alex.” She reminded us again. 

“And they didn't love you. They loved your blood. They _fed_ on you.” 

“I fed them. My choice. My brothers—they brought me food when I was hungry. So when they struck out on a hunt, I fed them. They're my family.” She had a small wave of fear but also protectiveness. 

I then said gently, “Okay, you care about them, but, Alex...There's a reason you decided to run away.” 

“It was time...to move on and get out on my own.” She quietly explained. 

I was trying to think of the right words as Dean decided to go with the tough love act. “And how do you think that decision is gonna sit with the rest of the nest? One of them already pursued you. You think when the rest of them find out that you left that they're just gonna shrug and cut their losses?” 

“You lived with them for years.” Sam said as she began to wave off fear and sadness. The girl was so conflicted. “They've tasted your blood. They have your scent down cold. I mean, how far can you run and for how long?” 

My heart went out to her as a single tear ran down her face. Dean then asked, “You didn't think this out, did you? What would happen, who might get hurt—your, uh, ‘brother,’ for one.” 

A wave of guilt and grief came from her, as Alex said defensively, “His name's Cody. And she killed him.” She motioned at Jody who was watching from next to the door. 

“Because of a choice you made. These are the consequences.” 

Sam then said, “you got two options—them or you.” 

“We can help you. We can keep you safe.” I said with a slightly more firm voice, but keeping my kindness in. 

“But you have to help us.” Sam finished. 

“Where’s the nest?” Dean asked. 

“I can't. After what's happened...Mama finds me, she'll kill me.” She said finally with so much fear. She continued to cry as we all exchanged a look with the sheriff. Jody was the most worried for her. 

I looked the girl straight in the eye. “We’re not going to let that happen. Okay? Would you like something to eat or drink? Or even for us to leave you alone for five minutes? I know this must be so overwhelming for you.” 

She nodded shakily. “Yes.” 

“Okay.” I said, and motioned for the rest of them to leave, “you can have a break. You’re safe alright. We’ll help you.” 

I made everyone leave and we got to work. Jody was still waving off shock at the girl as Sam worked on a computer. Dean then brought some fresh coffee for him and I. “Mills, you okay?” He asked. 

I watched carefully as she said, “No wonder she didn't thank me. That creep was her brother.” I shared her concern over her. She then waved it off and sat on the edge of her desk. “I'm fine. You know, mostly, I'm just—I'm hung up on the name. Alex and Annie—they're so close already. Why'd they change it?” 

“Maybe we’ll find out.” I said. 

Then Sam spoke up with a wave of realization. “Okay, so, we know from her ticket that Alex hopped a bus out of O'Neill, Nebraska, right?” 

“Mm-hmm.” Jody responded with more curiosity. 

“Obviously, it'd be better to go in with a firm location, but the town ain't that big. There are no caves or other natural hiding places.” 

“Alright, so go in, canvas it cold.” Dean said. 

“Well, I worked together a short list of possible nest locations. Uh, there's an empty fire station, four or five derelict homes. Nothing we couldn't hit in a day.” 

“Okay.” I said. “Why don’t you two go and I’ll stay with Jody and Alex.” I turned to her. “Watch your backs.” 

She smiled and nodded a little. Dean then asked as the brothers got up to leave, “You sure you're alright to babysit you two?” 

“Oh, well, girl's a flight risk,” Jody said, “not exactly friendly, but I think we can handle babysitting detail.” 

Sam then said with a wave of worry, “The station's been made. It might be worth heading upwind for a while. I mean, vamps are trackers.”

“Terrific.” She said with a small wave of fear. 

“Yeah.” 

“Well, I've got an old family cabin outside of town.” 

I nodded, “that’ll work.” 

“Okay. Well, shouldn't raise too many eyebrows, me being gone for a day.” 

“Maybe, but you, uh, sure you don't want backup?” Dean asked another time. 

Jody then said once she got what he was insinuating, “You want me to enlist my men in a protection detail against _vampires_? Frank's still in the dark about what hit him last night. The guy still has nightmares about the barn episode of _Walking Dead._ They're good cops. They're not ready for this.” 

“I don’t think it’s necessary.” I replied to her. “Jody, in your late-night reading, did you ever come across anything about Dead Man's blood?” 

A small wave of horror came from her. “Mnh-mnh.” 

“It takes vamps down like a horse tranq.” Sam told her. 

“I would not say no to some of that. I mean, not that we’ll need it. You guys are gonna get the jump on these vamps and be back here before they even realize their kin's missing, right?” 

Both of the boys nodded. “Course they will.” I said with a smile. “I’ll be right back, gonna grab my bag.” The boys and I left for the Impala. 

As I took out my sword from the back, and stuffed it into my duffle, Sam asked. “You sure you don’t want to come along?” 

Dean closed the trunk for me as I said, “yeah. It’ll be fine. Just want to make sure Jody and Alex will be alright.” I slung my bag over my shoulder. “Besides, you two did just fine hunting without me way back when.” 

Dean smirked, “we did alright.” 

“Yeah. Yeah. Stay safe okay?” I got a nod from both of them. I patted Dean on his shoulder and gave Sam a goodbye kiss. I walked back into the sheriff's station expecting to see the boys within twenty four hours, though I was sad to hear the rumble of the Impala grow quiet as they drove away. 

…

Jody drove Alex and I in her squad car that night. We were well into the woods and found the cozy little cabin. She parked as we all took a look at it. Alex looked around with small waves of fear and indifference. 

Jody and I exchanged a look. “What? Too rustic for your taste? 

“It seems nice.” I replied instead of the silence from Alex.

“Well, I have a lot of great memories. Used to come up here all the time—first as a kid with my parents and then with my…” a wave of grief came from Jody and she cleared her throat a little. “Anyhow, it's a lot nicer than it looks from the outside.” 

With that, she got out and I followed her lead. I grabbed our things and and watched Jody open the car door for the girl. She unlocked the cuffs and said to Alex, “F.Y.I.—The woods around here—really easy to get lost in if you don't know your way around. Me—I know them like the back of my hand.” We walked up to the front door. 

I smirked in knowing that Alex was reading in between the lines. She replied. “I got it. ‘Don't try running. You won't get far.’”

Jody let her in first and as I passed her I whispered to Jody, “she’s a smart girl.” 

“All the more reason to keep an eye on her.” Jody replied. We went in and put everything down. I set my bag near the couch and helped Jody with the bag of groceries she brought. We started to unpack them on the counter as Alex explored the livingroom with a few waves of curiosity. 

I raised an eyebrow when she took a crucifix off the wall. “You know this doesn't work, right? On vampires? It's useless.”

“That’s not why I have it.” Jody replied as we finished putting the food away. I pulled out my cell checking for messages as Jody went into the living room. Alex then had a framed pictured in her hands. 

“This your family?” 

I looked up at the wave of grief. “Yes.” 

“Where are they?” Alex asked. I knew the answer. The boys had told me a while ago about her son and her husband. The whole bloody ordeal still ebbed at Jody, though I’d never spoken about it with her. In her silence, Alex had a wave of realization. “Oh. Dead.” 

Jody then had a small wave of anger at the attitude. I walked towards them as she took the photo. “You know, there are about a thousand more polite ways you could say that. I'll give you a pass on account of the whole raised-by-monsters thing.” 

“How’d they die?” 

I tried to help by saying,“Alex-“ 

“Horribly.” Jody said, putting the picture back, then calmed. She took the crucifix and placed it back on the wall. Then said, “You must be exhausted. I know for a fact you didn't sleep last night.” 

“I’m fine.” Alex lied. I could also sense her exhaustion from the last twenty four hours catching up with her. She sat down on the couch. 

“It's no problem. I can make up a bed.” 

“I’m fine!” She said, with a wave of annoyance and frustration. 

“Suit yourself.” Jody said then backed off. 

I then took Jody back into the kitchen. “You okay?” I asked her. 

She nodded. “Yeah, it’s not easy to get under my skin. Even for a teenager.” 

I smirked at that. “Wasn’t asking about her.” Jody’s face fell a little. “Sam and Dean told me. I’m sorry about your family.” 

She smiled gently and pressed a hand to mine that was resting on the counter top. “Thank you. 

Later, Jody and I went outside for a few minutes to get some firewood. She had a pile in the shed, but needed to be cut down. So, I helped her chop a few. Though the first try managed to get the blade stuck in the stump. I pulled at it as she laughed. “Not an out-doorsy type?” She asked as I pulled it out. 

“Course I am, just haven’t used an ax in a while.” I punctuated by swinging the tool and getting it to chop a piece in half. “Ha.” I said to my victory over the thing. Once we got a few pieces, we gathered them in our arms and brought them into the living room. 

We dropped the pile in a box near the fireplace and looked around. A wave of panic came from the both of us. Alex was missing from where we had last seen her. “Alex!” I shouted when I opened up the front door to see if she left.

“Alex.” Jody called out. Jody and I started looking through the rooms. 

Jody then found her. I came up behind her in a doorway of one of the bedrooms. Alex was laying down in the bed of a room that looked like it was decorated for a child. _This is her son’s room_. I thought as I saw the quilt. 

Jody had a small wave of nostalgia and grief as she saw the sight. Silently, she went over to the girl to pull up the covers, but started Alex awake. It scared all three of us. “Woah!” Jody said, immediately calming her. “Easy.” 

“Sorry.” Alex said once she realized it. 

“Sorry.” After a beat, she said, “I made you a sandwich. It's out there if you want it.” We both moved to leave the room. 

“Sheriff.” Alex called out, and we looked at her. She waved off some sadness and worry, “my grandma?” 

I grimaced and shook my head. Jody simply told her, “I’m so sorry.” 

A small wave of grief came from the girl. “No, it's-it’s fine. I figured—it's been years, and she was old.” She turned on the bed, pretending not to care, but I knew. 

Jody nodded then left the room. Before I stepped away from my spot at the door, I said, “Alex? If you want to talk about...well anything. I’m here okay?” 

She nodded and I took that as my que to leave. I walked into the livingroom to see Jody. “Hey, the boys called.” She then got on the phone and put it on speaker. 

“Jody?” Dean said with some panic. 

“Dean, what’s up?” I said quickly. 

“Listen to me. The vamps knew that Alex went to Sioux Falls, okay? They're probably already there. We're on our way there next. But there's something else.” Pure fear ran through Jody and I as we saw headlights pull up. “There's something about Alex.” 

“It can wait.” Jody said and looked out the door. “They’re here.” 

“What?” 

“At the cabin. Now.” I said panicked and headed towards my bag. Jody went to the front door and locked it. 

“We’re on our way.” 

“Hurry.” Jody said and hung up. She ran towards Alex’s room. I quickly unsheathed my sword. “Alex?” She grabbed her machete. “Alex, come on. We got to go. We got to go.” 

Then I heard screaming. “Jody, help!” I bolted down the hall and stood next to Jody at the closed door. 

“Alex?!” I tried to kick the door down as Jody said, “Alex! Alex!” 

“Help me! Help! Let me go!” Finally we worked together to push it open. 

“Alex!” I shouted as I saw someone drag the girl through the smashed window. Jody and I quickly ran outside towards a truck, we could hear Alex struggle. 

Jody was a few steps ahead of me when she was jumped by a big guy. She fell to the ground unconscious from the blow as I tackled the vamp. I lost my sword in the struggle and he got on top of me. As I watched his fangs descend, a woman’s voice yelled out, “Come on let’s go!” 

“Move it!” Another vamp said. 

The vamp then punched me and my vision blurred. He got off of me and ran off. “No!” I half shouted as I pulled out my gun. I shot at the truck as it sped away. I let it drop as I watched the lights of the car disappear. Last thing I saw was Jody laying next to me before I blacked out.

…

I woke a few hours later to the familiar rumble of the Impala’s engine. I looked up with a splitting head ache to see Jody waking groggily too. Confusion wafted off the both of us as I realized what happened. 

Sam and Dean rushed to us in a panic. “Jody?” Dean called out. 

“Hey, you okay?” Sam asked me as soon as he got to me. 

“Woah-woah-woah.” I heard Dean say as both Jody and I staggered up. Sam helped me by the arm as I looked around for my discarded sword. It was a few feet away. 

“Where’s Alex?” Jody asked as she was helped up. I then staggered towards my blade. 

“You tell us.” Sam replied as he picked my sword up for me. 

“They came and we tried to stop them.” 

“And you got knocked out. Well, happens to the best of us.” Dean said as he picked up my gun. 

“Just lucky you're alive.” Sam told us. 

“I heard gunshots. You okay?” Jody asked me. 

“That was me.” I told her. “I’m okay. You?” She nodded. 

“How many you shoot? Did it hit their car?”

“Maybe, one or two. I think.” I said as I felt my headache start to fade with my grace. 

“Uh, you emptied the clip.” Dean said, handing me my gun. “You think they went back to the nest?” I placed my gun back in the waistband of my pants.

“Of course they did.” Sam said with a wave of frustration. “Why wouldn't they? Question is—what are they gonna do when they find their brother _dead_?” 

“So we go back now.” I said firmly, and headed towards the cabin. 

“Okay. I’m coming.” Jody said following me. 

“Uh, Jody? Hey, hey. Whoa.” Dean said stopping the both of us. “Hold on. You two are hurt.” 

Jody and I exchanged a look, “we’re coming.” 

“Jody, we can handle the nest on our own.” Sam said, then turned to me, “you got hurt. You can take a knee.” 

“I don't give a fig about the nest.” Jody said with a wave of determination. “That girl was under my protection. Our protection.” 

Dean then had a wave of anger, “Okay, that ‘girl’ can't be trusted. She's a lure. She's a-a honey trap. She's been feeding people to those vamps!” 

“I don’t care.” Jody said. 

I nodded in agreement. “Whatever she did, she did because they _made_ her.” I said to Dean, frustrated knowing that this anger wasn’t just him. 

“Oh, and that's a reason?” 

“She’s a kid!” Jody and I both shouted at him. Both pissed at him for this. 

“Yeah, a kid who's been playing vampire murder since before she was in braces.” 

Sam then said, looking at this practically, “Jody, he's right. A-at best her loyalties are...screwed.” 

“And how do you even know she wants to be saved?” I scoffed at that. “For the past eight years, she has been baiting the hook for an entire nest. She's got more blood on her hands than most monsters we kill.”

“Are you saying she’s on your list?” Jody asked in horror. 

“No, we're not saying that.” Sam said firmly. 

“Well, not yet.” Dean said not barely a beat after his brother. I stared daggers at Dean. “Look, it sucks, okay? It does. But with hunting monsters comes harsh truths.” He looked directly at me, “You know that. This is a clean-up mission. It's not a rescue.” 

Sam then had a wave of concern and curiosity, “What is this even really about? You barely know the girl.” 

Jody glared at both of the boys, “I’m coming. And if either one of you lays so much as a _hand_ on Alex…” 

“You’ll have to go through the both of us.” I said to Dean with bite in my voice. I ran back to the cabin, and grabbed my bag. Reloading my gun full, Sam was behind me a minute after getting in the door. 

“What was that about?” He asked me and grabbed my bag for me. 

I sighed. “She’s just a kid...she conflicted and scared. I want to save her. I don’t care what you or Dean think of that...So are we gonna clear this nest or what?” 

He sighed himself, then said, “yeah.” So we left the cabin. Driving for a few hours in the Impala and in silence was rough. Sam was wafting off worry, while both Dean and Jody were pissed, and me? Well, I was pissed off _and_ worried. A wonderful combination. So when we got out, Jody and I scouted the place while the boys prepared for the fight. 

When we returned, they were standing at the open trunk of the Impala. “Well, their truck's in the driveway.” 

“So we’re walking right into it.” Sam said. 

“Well, we've faced worse odds.” Dean replied and handed me my sword. 

“Yeah.” I strapped it on and Dean gave us the rundown. 

“Jody. This is a raid, so tread lightly, stay close. Priority is clearing the nest. Alex comes second. You got it?” 

A wave of annoyance and determination came from Jody and I. “Got it.” She lied. I kept my face neutral knowing full well that the two of us wanted to save Alex so badly. 

The four of us walked towards the house and snuck in. We cleared out the first floor swiftly as I sensed several people in the house. Two upstairs and two in the basement. Sam and Dean started heading up before I could tell them, and motioned for Jody and I to stay. 

We would have if not for the noises from downstairs and the waves of pain. I took Jody towards the sound, and we went downstairs carefully to investigate. Going down each step, I sensed Alex’s pain. As soon as we saw her, panic came from both of us. 

Jody and I rushed to the girl, who was laying face down in a small bed. “Alex, come on.” Jody said to her, “Come on, honey. We got to go.” 

“Go away!” She said. 

“We got to go!” I said back. Then she looked up at us with pure fear. Her eyes were ringed and red and her mouth was covered in blood. My breath hitched at the sight. 

“What did they do to you?” Jody asked her in fear. 

“I'm sorry, Jody. I made my choice.” She said and I sensed the other presence. Before I would whip out my sword, a woman threw me towards the wall and everything went black. 

…

I woke up with my hands tied above my head. I looked up to see that Jody was next to me a few feet away also tied up. Alex was still in the corner of the room wafting off wave after wave of fear, while the vamp who jumped us stood before a table with all of our weapons. “Can't say you didn't come prepared.” She said, waving off anger and pride as she pawed my sword. 

“Alex.” Jody called out. 

“Hey. Don't be bothering my girl.” She said with a wave of anger and protectiveness. “She's going through something, a process.” 

“What did you do to her?” Jody asked in anger. 

“You're _turning_ her? Aren’t you?” I asked with bite. 

Anger burned through my skin as the vamp said, “Fed her my blood. She's on her way now.” She grabbed the girl by the arm and brought her towards us. “All that's left is to feed.” 

Alex then said, “Please, mama. Let them go.” I was a little shocked to hear those words. “I already drank from you. Let them go.” She backed off from us. 

“Made an impression on my girl, I see. Baby, this is the human half of you talking.” The woman’s words made me sick to my stomach, and I pulled at my restraints. _Where the hell are the boys?_ “After the change, these humans—they ain't nothing to you.” She turned to Jody. “Clearly, Sheriff, you got issues, some hole in your life you're using my Alex to fill. I would say go and get a family of your own, but, well...you know.” 

“Wow. That's pretty rich coming from the woman who _stole_ Alex to begin with.” Jody spat back. 

The vamp grabbed her by the neck. “Hey!” I shouted. 

She ignored me with pure anger. “I have fed her, clothed her, loved her going on nine years. You think motherhood's just about blood? You don't know the first thing about it.” 

“Maybe not, but I know what it isn't.” Jody said with a small wave of grief and determination. “And it _ain't_ about forcing her to be like you the second she becomes inconvenient.” 

The vampire turned to Alex. “Don't you see what she is trying to do? This hunter cop _bitch_ is trying to turn you against me to save her own hide. Don't believe a word she says.” She then kicked the side of Jody’s knee with a snap. 

“Jody! Stop it!” I shouted as the hunter next to me screamed. 

“She ain’t your mother.” Then she looked up at me. “And this one...she’s nothing to you either.” 

“Yeah? Nothing? I’ve been nothing but kind to her. I’m trying to save her! From things like _you_!” That earned me a punch to the gut. 

I grunted as she said, “you...you know nothing either. Being her friend? She doesn’t understand what you need, baby. You don’t need friends when you have a perfect family.” 

“Alex.” I said, “she’s manipulating you.” 

“Shut up.” She then went up to Jody and sniffed her face. “Time to finish this.” She growled. 

That’s when realization came from Jody as she pieced it all together. “Alex! Was that her name? You named her after someone. Was it your daughter?” Waves of grief came from the vamp now. “I couldn't figure out why you changed her name. I thought maybe you were ashamed of your theft, but you have no shame. You said that I was using her to fill a hole in my life, and you're right. I am. You are, too.” 

“Mama?” Alex said with waves of fear and sadness. 

“I guess it takes one to know one.” 

The vampire said to the girl, “That Alex...She died a long time ago.” 

Grief then came from Jody, “And it still hurts. You still feel it, the loss, the pain—like a stone in your gut. It hurts just a little bit less whenever she's near.” 

“You bitch.” The vamp turned on Jody and began beating her. 

“Stop it!” I shouted. “Stop! Jody!” I fought the bonds, but they were too strong. Then looked at Alex with pleading in my eyes. “Please.” I whispered. 

Determination came from the girl. She was terrified, but I knew. She had to take action. I looked over towards the table straight for the dead man’s blood.

Mama was distracted as she said, “Good news, lady cop. Whoever you lost...You're gonna see them again real soon. And your little friend...this other _daughter_ you want to use as a replacement,” I stared at her with daggers for that. “She’ll watch...then join you.” 

The vamp cut her down and Alex quietly went to the table. As Mama went in for the kill on Jody, Alex plunged the needle into her back. 

“Alex?” The woman fell to her knees in horror and anger. “How could you? You were my girl.” She said looking up at her. 

“I’m sorry, mama.” She said then went towards me. She watched carefully as Jody grabbed one of the blades and pulled the vamp’s head back. 

She looked up at the both of us. “Don’t watch this, sweetheart.” Jody said to the girl. 

“Look at me. Alex, look at me.” I said, and she turned. The boys then finally bounded down the stairs as Jody cut off Mama’s head. Grief, fear, and relief came from the girl as the vampire died. She closed her eyes with tears streaming down her face. 

Sam tried to rush to me, or rather stumbled a bit with Dean supporting him. “I’m okay.” I said which helped calm him. “I’m okay. We’re okay.” I said as Dean pulled out a knife and cut me down. Jody was with Alex assuring her. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She said with waves of shame and fear. I went to her immediately once I knew the boys were okay. 

“It’s okay. We know.” I said to her. “Lucky for you, we know a cure.” 

“What?” She said. 

“A cure?” Jody asked. 

I smiled. “Yeah, a cure.”

…

The boys worked to get the blood from the vamp that turned her and we all left the old farm house. During the drive back, Sam and Dean updated me on what happened. They both got caught by the other two vamp’s, and practically drained Sam dry. Thankfully Dean managed to kill them both and save him. 

Once we got to the cabin, Alex was heavily struggling with the transformation. Luckily, we were able to administer the cure. I was with her and Jody as she first took it. She handled the initial effects well and was quiet. 

The two of us stayed with her practically all night. Thankfully she was doing well. So, when morning came it was time to leave. The boys stepped out to wait for me while I had a few words with Alex. “You can call me anytime, okay? I’ll be there.” 

She smiled weakly and nodded. “Thank you.” She said simply. “For everything.” 

I smiled back at her. “Of course. And don’t worry, I won’t be a stranger. As long as you aren’t okay?” 

“Okay.” I gave her a good hug and told her goodbye. It was a little hard to leave, but I knew I would see her and Jody again. And I was hoping soon. 

As I approached the boys with Jody, who was walking with a limp, I could sense some worry from Sam as well as some annoyance and guilt from Dean. It seemed like they were having an argument, but stopped once they saw us. “How's things back at the station?” 

“Well, they beat Frank up pretty bad, but at least they left him alive.” Jody told us. “He kept apologizing for spilling the beans about the cabin, but I told him that one's on me.” 

“Well, speaking of apologies,” Sam said, “um...We owe you both a big one.” 

“We were wrong about the girl.” Dean said. 

A wave of realization and acceptance came from Jody. “No. You were right—about me. My judgment was clouded. You know, working this case,” she looked down in the grief. “...it brought...feelings back. Feelings I've been trying to bury for years, you know, buried it under work, religion,” she smiled a moment, “...even dating. We know how that worked out. But, you know, it was still there, you know, underneath. The grief.” I pressed a hand to her back, trying to comfort her. “Don't know what that means for me, just that I've been—I've been fooling myself to think that I could ignore it. Anyway, thank you—for coming out, for curing Alex.” 

“You don't need to thank us. I mean, you're the one who killed her sire, got her blood.” Sam told her with a wave of pride. 

“Sure it’ll work?” 

“Well, speaking from experience, it'll be a rough couple of days, but...She should pull through.” Dean told her.

“You sure you don't want us to stay?” I asked. 

“I’m good.” She replied. 

“After it's done, you know what to do with her?” Sam asked. 

A wave of determination and I knew. Alex and Jody wouldn’t be alone. The boys then said they’re goodbye and I waited a moment for them to get in the car to speak with the sheriff alone. “Hey, Jody?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Once upon a time, a hunter took me in after I lost my family.” Her face fell at realization, “So I know you’ll take care of her. I really think you guys are gonna be okay.” 

“I didn’t know...I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Bobby did hell of a job, and I know you will too.” We both smiled at that. I gave her a big hug and soon left with the boys. 

As soon as we got on the road, Sam asked, “think they’ll be okay?” 

I smiled, “yeah. They will be.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so...I’m not doing Bloodlines. It’s an okay episode, but I didn’t really want to make a chapter out of it, so this next one is different. Not telling y’all the name till it’s posted, but know that a certain plot line that I’ve been running will come into it, and we’ll get to touch on a very specific part of reader’s backstory that I’ve been hanging onto since I wrote it in towards the beginning of The Huntress. Be forewarned, it’s long one full of angst and drama, but I hope you all enjoy. Till next time.


	20. What We’ve Lost and What We’ve Gained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a phone call from Josephine, and another mission, we cross paths with Reagan finally. Only he isn’t the only one we see again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. Special chapter to replace Bloodlines, that is a little extra long with lots of flashbacks, will continue with King of the Damned for the next chapter and so on. Getting towards the end of season ten but it’s been a little slow, with the holidays and all that. So, more than likely will take a small break from posting once the finale is up. Though I think you all will enjoy them, been working super hard on it. More notes on this chapter below!—Indigo

_“Now, every time I witness a strong person, I want to know: What dark did you conquer in your story? Mountains do not rise without earthquakes.”_ —Katherine MacKenzie

  
  


The boys and I were working in the bunker. I had gotten a phone call from Jody that morning saying that Alex got through the cure and was doing well. They even set up a room for her at her house. I was happy to hear it and so were the boys, but it didn’t help with mine and Sam’s worry. 

Dean was acting stranger with monsters as of late, and Sam told me about the “look at me bitch,” incident. The elder brother was growing angrier and more blood thirsty by the day it seemed, and I wasn’t sure what the hell to do. 

Then I got a phone call. “Josephine?” I said as I answered. The boys both looked up at the name. We hadn’t said much to Dean about her vision, but we filled him in on her prophecies. 

“I have news...well information.” She said in a carful voice.

“Great, but...is everything okay? How are you guys doing?” 

“We’re doing just fine,” she said with a smile, “but that’s not why I am calling. You need to talk to this person...they have news of the demon you're looking for.” 

My heart dropped to my shoes. I swallowed. “They have news of Reagan?” 

“Yes. And hurry. They won’t be there for long Little Bird. Goodbye.” She hung up quickly as I sat there in complete shock. My phone buzzed again. A text from her showed me an address. 

“What is it?” Sam asked. 

“We got a lead.” I said simply then got up. They boys both waved off worry for a moment, then I sensed even more determination from Dean. 

I stayed quiet after giving Dean the address. It was local, thankfully, but I found it strange. None of us knew who this person was, and I doubted Josephine would call again. We were going in blind. 

Soon enough, we found the place we were looking for. The actual Geological Center of the US. As we parked on the small road, at a small triangular park with several signs stating the feat. Due to it still being morning and in a quiet area of town, the place was practically deserted. 

“Seriously? They wanted to meet here?” Dean asked. 

“It’s what Josephine told me.” I replied with worry. “Her visions aren’t normally wrong.” 

Sam then walked up to the center, stone monument with his hands in his jacket pockets. It was the marker for the landmark. “Center of the states, Huh?” He asked himself. “Why here?” 

“It’s quiet.” A presence said behind us. We all turned to see a young woman with red hair waving off determination and power. She then flashed us red eyes. 

“Who are you?” Dean asked protectively. He then pulled out the demon knife and kept it to his side. 

“Wait.” I said and moved forward a few steps. “Are you my contact?” 

“That I am. Crowley sent me.” She said and her eyes went back to a simple brown. “Name’s Harriet.” 

“Crowley sent you?” Sam asked. 

“Did he find Abaddon?” Dean quickly asked as soon as it clicked. 

“Relax Winchesters.” Harriet said with a wave of annoyance. “No, the bitch is good at hiding. But I have info on her second in command.” 

“Reagan.” I said with a pit in my stomach forming. 

She smiled. “That’s the one. Boss told me to tell you to head off to Salina. Reagan has been conducting business there for her. Something about souls, I think.” That made Sam wave off some worry. “Supposed to be there till tonight. If you hurry, you may be able to catch him.”

Before she could turn to leave, I asked, “Just Salina? Anything else?” 

“He’s working in an abandoned church near the university. That’s all I know.” With that she was gone. 

I didn’t say another word. I just headed for the Impala. But stopped before I could reach my door, Sam and Dean calling my name, “Hold on a second.” Dean said. “Was she lying?” 

“No. We need to go.” 

“What are we going to do once we find him?” Sam asked. 

I froze for a moment thinking. I had no clue what I wanted to do with him. Kill him? Yes. Finally put Jackson’s body to rest? Yes. Anything else? I wasn’t sure. “I don’t know, but this is a real lead. It could get us Abaddon. It could do a lot of things. But we need to move. Now.” 

…

It didn’t take us long to get to Salina and start looking for the demons. Sam checked the internet for anything on demon omens or anything related to anyone who could be soulless in the area. So far there wasn’t much, and I was growing more and more anxious. It was getting darker out, and we were only running out of time. 

Dean then parked the car on a street. “What are we doing?” I asked, as I saw the bar sign. 

He turned. “We’ve been driving around for hours and this has turned out to be a bust. We missed it.” 

“Then why would Josephine call. If she knew we would miss him, she wouldn’t have risked herself or the others. This isn’t over yet.” 

“She’s right Dean.” Sam said, “maybe we should keep looking-“ 

“What are we even looking for?” Dean asked with a wave of frustration. “We’ve been looking for this guy for ages.” I huffed and stared out at the bar. “I say we get a drink, get some grub, and go home.” 

Then I saw him. He was sitting right there. Reagan was sitting in the bar next to the window. He was alone drinking a dark glass. It brought back so many memories. Ones of when Jackson and I would finish a hunt well done and celebrate at dive bars just like the Impala was sitting in front of at the moment. 

“Oh my god.” I said not taking my eyes off of the demon. He didn’t even notice us. 

“What?” Sam asked then both brothers looked up to where I was staring. “Holy shit.” He mumbled. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Dean said with a wave of shock. So we pulled out, not wanting to risk being seen and went around the back of the bar. Dean told us the plan and waves of protectiveness came from Sam. 

“We’re not using you as bait.” He said. 

“How else are we supposed to lure him out?” I asked. “I don’t like it either, but we can’t just wait for him.” 

“And who knows how many black-eyed bitches are in there with him?” Dean asked. “It’s the best we got.” 

Sam sighed and shook his head. I took his hand then. “I’ll be okay. I promise. You boys have my back. I trust you,” I smirked then, “and I’m armed to the teeth.” 

He chuckled a moment. I smiled a bit and kissed him on the cheek. Then left to go around the building. Walking into the crowded bar made my senses go into over drive, but the hairs on the back of my neck stood up once I sensed him. 

Reagan wafted off pride, anger, and power, much like most demons, but there was something different. A cunning that I hadn’t seen in most. The bloodthirsty kind that would make any inexperienced hunter shake in their boots. Thankfully, I wasn’t so afraid of him this time. 

I went up to the bar and ordered water, saying that I was waiting for someone. As I did, my thoughts went back to the day I had first encountered this demon.  


_  
_ _Somehow, Jackson and I managed to get the possessed man inside the demon trap. It was wafting off all sorts of anger as it watched us. We were armed with a few rosaries, salt, holy water, and an exorcism book that I had borrowed from Bobby. “Are you sure this will work? Will he even survive?” I asked Jackson in a whisper._

_He smirked a bit. “It will. I’ve seen it, angel. We’ll be okay.”_

_“You and your bitch really think that you can get rid of me?” It asked. Jackson then threw some holy water in his face._

_As it screamed, he said, “we’re sending you right back where you came from you bastard. What did you think would happen attacking all of those people?”_

_The demon laughed. He actually laughed at us, “you’ll regret that.”_

_“Why did you hurt them? What was the point?” I asked. “They didn’t do anything to you.”_

_He smiled wickedly. “Because I can.” I swallowed at that. “One day...one day when Lucifer finally takes his place in destroying this world as we know it, I won’t have to worry about little, scared hunters like you who have to wait for daddy to come do it for them.”_

_“Shut up.” Jackson said and punctuated by throwing more holy water. I sensed his anger as he picked up the book and opened it to the page we marked. “Start reading.”_

_“What? We’re supposed to wait for Bobby.” I said with fear in my voice._

_“Baby, he’s contained. Let’s prove to him we can handle it.” I stared at the demon for a moment, who flashed me his black eyes._

_I nodded. “Okay.” I took the book in my hands as Jackson took a rosary in his hand as well as the salt. I began the steady chant. “Spiritus imundi…” I read it over and over again as the body of the demon twitched and groaned. Jackson kept throwing the holy water and the salt on it, but still it wouldn’t get out._

_I paused when it said, “stop! Stop!”_

_“What?” Jackson asked._

_It smiled. “Stop...and you’ll have a chance of living.”_

_“Yeah, right.”_

_“It’s true. Don’t say I never warned you.” Then the doors behind us burst open_. 

  
  


I snapped out of my thoughts when I sensed a pair of eyes bore into the back of my head. I tipped the bartender a few dollars, knowing full well that I had caught the demon’s attention, and turned to leave. I left smoothly, not making any sort of eye contact with him. Still, my heart was beating out of my chest. 

I was out the door for a moment or two when I sensed him come home behind me. He didn’t rush, just followed me around the building towards the boys. I could sense his anticipation as I turned the corner to the dark alley. 

I sensed both Sam and Dean ahead. Dean chose to hide behind an alcove of the place hidden well behind a dumpster, while Sam was at the other end of the alley, waiting for me. Hopefully, Reagan would take the bait. 

I walked a bit faster as I sensed the demon pick up speed. I passed Dean, sensing his anger and anticipation as well. As soon as the demon passed him, I turned quickly around and faced him head on. The two of us stopped and stared each other down. “Why take the fun out of the game, bitch? I thought you liked the hunt.” 

“Yeah...but I don’t like to be the prey.” I quipped as soon as Dean tackled the demon from behind. Soon enough, he had it by the throat with his demon knife. Sam was behind me soon enough and rushed towards them. 

“Of course the Winchesters are here.” He growled. “Well...do it! Kill me!” 

Dean smirked as he picked him up and slapped on the demon cuffs. “Yeah, but first, you’re going to talk.” We dragged him towards the Impala. 

Pure anger came from him as he said, “you won’t get anything out of me. And you!” I avoided his eyes. Jackson’s eyes. What used to be his eyes. “We’ve done this dance before. You’ll just let me out again. I know it.” 

I stopped dead in my tracks. Stunned at his words. Dean just kept dragging the demon towards the trunk while Sam stayed with me. “Are you okay?” He asked. I nodded. “Okay. Let’s go.” He took my hand and guided me quickly back towards the car. 

Dean slammed the trunk down. “Where to?” He asked. 

“Think we can get whatever the hell he’s doing at that church out of him?” I asked quickly. 

“Nah. He’ll be hard to crack. I say we head to the bunker, lock him in the dungeon, get him talking there.” 

“Harriet said that they were doing something with souls at the church.” Sam said, “We need to check it out.” 

  
  


_The doors burst open and a single man came through. His pure anger and pride waving off him, as well as his wicked smile, told me he was another demon. “Jackson.” I said in fear._

_Without another word, Jackson rushed to the table and grabbed the holy water. I started the exorcism again. Rushing through the words as the new demon came in. Jackson attacked him with the holy water quickly and as the thing burned he screamed, “Run!”_

_Still I continued the exorcism. I went through the chant and tears began to brim my eyes. Next thing I knew, I was thrown to the floor and the book slid across the room by an invisible force. I scrambled to my feet as the demon had the upper hand on Jackson. “Stop!” I shouted as I saw him hold Jackson from behind, a knife to his throat._

_“Run! Go!”_

_“Please!” I said to the demon in the trap. “Let us go. Please. We won’t bother you again.”_

_“What makes you think we’ll let you live?” The demon who had Jackson sneered._

_“Run. Please, baby, run.” Waves of fear came from Jackson._

_“I’m not leaving you.” I turned to the demon. “I’ll let you out of the trap, if you let us go.”_

_The second demon didn’t want to play games. “Reagan don’t-“_

_“Shut up.” He growled. “Fine...if she wants to let me out. Go right ahead. Doesn’t mean I’ll let either of you go.”_

_My heart beat even faster. “No….you can have me. Not him.”_

_“No!” Jackson shouted._

_“Shut up!” The demon who had him said then brought the knife to his stomach. “Don’t make me shut you up.”_

_“Please...I can be useful.” I said quietly. “Just let him go…”_

_Reagan scrutinized me a moment as I sensed his curiosity and blood curdling amusement. “Bring the boy to me.” He ordered the demon._

_I held my breath as he stepped closer with Jackson. We stared into eachother eyes, terrified for the other. The demon in the trap looked over Jackson for a moment. “Let them both go, as long as you,” he looked at me with searing anger in his eyes, “break the trap.”_

_“Seriously?” Jackson asked. “You're just going to let us go.”_

_“I like a good hunt.” He growled. “You get a five minuet head start in the woods. If I can’t find you...you’ll live. For now at least.”_

_I let out a breath of relief as I went towards the demon trap. “Five minuets to run?”_

_“You have my word.” The demon said, “now let me out.” I looked up at Jackson, who had a small wave of hope. I took my foot, scrubbed out a part of the spray painted trap, releasing the demon._

…

After running around town for an hour or so, we finally found the church where Reagan was doing his work for Abaddon. A single demon was guarding the door when we parked down the street. We knew we had to clear it before any of the demon’s could think Reagan was missing, not wishing to tip off Abaddon. 

Locking down the Impala, the three of us headed towards the church. Sam and I took the demon guarding the front door, while Dean went around back. I had my sword ready as we approached it. 

He was sitting on the stoop of the place as we hid around the corner of the building. Sam nodded at me, ready to cause the distraction, and I gripped my sword with white knuckles. I watched carefully as Sam went out and caught the demon’s attention. “Hey you!” The demon stood as I pressed myself against the side of the building. “Come and get me you son of a bitch!” 

I sensed him rush towards Sam and as they both rounded the corner. The demon never saw me coming as he passed me. I quickly ran through his back with my blade, and killed the demon quickly. As he crumpled to the ground, Sam rushed towards me. “You okay?” I asked him. He nodded then helped me drag the body to the bushes. 

We went around to the door and picked the lock. My heart was beating out of my chest as I used my senses to detect any other demons. As we walked into the old, grand hall of the church, I sensed no one. Still, Sam and I stayed close as we walked down a hall into the abandoned place.

The walls were dusty and the place looked like it was held together by staples and thread. No one had been there in years. Still I searched and scanned for anyone or anything. Armed with just my sword, I would have to protect both Sam and I, as Dean still had the demon knife. 

We rounded a corner of a hall to find a set of stairs leading up. I could sense a few presences, but not demon. Then behind us, I sensed Dean coming. I turned around to see him coming down the hall quickly towards us. “Killed the mook at the back door. Find anybody else?” He said lowly. 

“Killed the demon up front. Nobody till now, there’s a few people upstairs, I think. It’s faint.” I replied in a whisper. 

Dean nodded and took the lead. We all slowly went up the steps, quiet as to not tip off anybody. We got to the landing of the second floor to see a door left ajar. Then I sensed it. Not three people, but three souls. I was drawn to it as we entered the room quietly, seeing three large jars filled with bright, blue light. 

“Woah.” Dean said, “is that-“ 

“Souls. Stolen souls for her army.” I said quietly. Sam then went up to them after clearing the room. I could sense no one else in the building. 

“Let’s get these people home.” Sam said. He lifted the lid of each jar and each soul was thankfully set free. _At least something good came of this, but now. Now I have to face him_. 

… 

We drove for hours with Reagan’s blaring anger in the trunk of the Impala. It was permeating so much that I could sense it from the backseat. We all discussed during on the way back to the Bunker that we would get as much information out of Reagan as we could. Which meant that we would have to torture Jackson’s body. It left the largest pit in my stomach. In life, I hated seeing Jackson in pain, and now I would have to endure his screams again. To say I was weary of it would be an understatement. 

We parked the Impala just a mile down the dirt road from the bunker. Dean and Sam both got out to gag and blindfold the demon. I stayed in the car, trying to keep my composure. When they got back in, my hands were shaking.

Dean started the car and drove us off. Then he said, “Alright. We’ll get him to the dungeon. I’ll beat the hell out of him. Find out where Abaddon is. And call it a day. Who wants to knife the guy?” 

“Dean.” Sam said with a wave of protectiveness. I hardly paid attention as we drove closer to home. 

“What?” 

“It’s her dead boyfriend's face, remember? Give her a damn minute before getting all excited to kill the damn thing.” 

“Well sorry, I thought that we kill demons. You know? Our jobs? I get it. It’s crap, but this is it. This is how-“ 

“Would you take your head out of your ass for once?” I asked with pure anger and exhaustion at that point. Both brothers were dumbfounded as Sam turned to look at me with raised eyebrows and Dean’s jaw went slack. Shock came from both up of them. “We’re doing this,” I said, trying to defuse the tension I created. “I get that. Let’s just get Reagan locked up and then we’ll deal with what’s next. Okay?” 

Both Winchesters remained silent, but I took it as their acceptance. We drove the rest of the way to the bunker and parked in the garage. I got out as soon as Dean turned off the engine. I took my sword out of its sheath and watched carefully as both Sam and Dean went to the trunk. 

They quickly opened it and dragged the cuffed demon out. I kept my sword ready, in case he tried something, and walked a few paces behind them towards the dungeon. Reagan didn’t fight the boys very much as they marched him through the halls of our home. He still waved off his anger as well as anticipation, probably wishing to see how this would turn out. 

Soon enough, the boys trapped him inside the devils trap of the dungeon and chained onto a chair in its center. Both looked to me for silent permission to take the bag off his head. My eyes never left Reagan as I gave a careful nod. Dean then angrily ripped the black cloth off of his head and my stomach flipped at seeing Jackson’s face. Though the smile was more Reagan’s. 

He looked around the place as the boys stepped back next to me, both waving off concern, anger, and curiosity. Reagan then said, “well, nice place. Tell me, is there turn-down service.” Dean pulled out a flask of holy water he had in his pack pocket. Reagan just kept talking. “Some interrogation. Really? Can’t wait to get out of here. Give y’all five stars.” 

He screamed as Dean threw a whole bunch of holy water on him. “Where’s Abaddon?” 

“Kiss my ass.” More holy water and screaming. I clenched my fist so hard that my nails left marks on my palm, trying to keep my cold expression. I gripped my sword even tighter. 

“Answer the questions, that will make this so much easier.” Sam ordered. 

The demon was breathing hard now. “Fuck you then. I’ll just wait here.” 

“And what endure torture?” Dean asked, “For what? No demon will find you.” 

“Won’t need to. Since your girl Friday there likes freeing us demon folk.” 

“Shut up.” Dean growled then pulled out the demon knife, “or I’ll start slicing.” 

Reagan laughed. “Oh you don’t want to do that.” 

Dean grabbed him by the throat and tipped the chair back. “And why not?” He punctuated by lightly pressing the tip of the blade in his face. 

The smile on his face, as well as the amusment coming off him, told me he knew I wouldn’t want to kill him. Not after he said, “cause her little boy toy here is still kicking.” 

You could hear a pin drop. My heart practically stopped. My jaw dropped. My stomach flipped at the thought that I knew he wasn’t lying. My hand went slack and my sword clanged to the ground. I ran out of there so fast I could barely hear Reagan’s laugh. 

My feet took me towards the war room. They would have probably taken me outside and down the road, if not for my knees buckling. I knelt there in pure shock and grief. Tears streamed down my face as I had no idea what to do or how to face the truth. The very truth that Jackson, my Jackson, was not only alive, but had been possessed for the last five years. 

I wasn’t grounded until I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me. “Baby? Can you hear me?” I began to silently sob as Sam pulled me to his chest. “It’s okay. I got you. I got you sweetheart. I got you.” 

I wept and he held me as the truth crashed into me like a freight train. The old wounds of that night reopened, and Reagan just poured salt into them. I was helpless as it all overtook me. 

_Jackson and I ran through the woods. We headed west, knowing the road would be there. We could have hitchhiked, or if we were lucky, Bobby would find us. But I knew we were still so far away. And the demon’s were gaining on us._

_He and I ducked behind a fallen log as we panicked and stumbled through a plan. “You go that way, I’ll lead them away from you long enough to get you-“_

_“No.” I whispered. “I’m not leaving you to die. We can outsmart them. All they wave off is pride, they won’t think we’re smart enough to get out of this.”_

_He sighed a bit and pressed his palm to my cheek, “my angel. Always so stubborn.”_

_“Yeah, well this stubbornness will get us both out.” He chuckled at that._

_“Okay. Take this.” He handed me the spray can he left in his jacket pocket. “Make a few devils traps and hide them under leaves in that direction,” he pointed towards the north. “I’ll lead them away and circle around. Hopefully, we’ll get them both and leave their asses here. Meet me at the rocks. Then we can make our escape.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yes. Angel.” He gave me a smile. A stellar smile that was always so contagious and that could assure me of anything. I smiled back a little and kissed him hard, still afraid that something could go wrong._

_“I love you.” I said as I pulled away._

_“I love you too. Go.” I looked up in all directions before heading off towards the direction Jackson sent me. Once I was far enough away, Jackson called out, “come and get us you sons of bitches!”_

_I began work on the traps as soon as I heard heavy footsteps of the two demons follow in his direction. Lucky for us, he knew these woods well. I carefully painted down each trap along the unmarked trail and brushed leaves over them to hide them._

_Once I felt I had a good number had been set I found the group of rocks. I hid in one corner to wait for Jackson. I stayed there, trying my best to use my senses to detect anyone who may approach. Demon or otherwise in the dark. I knew I shouldn’t have moved for any reason unless it was Jackson. Despite being terrified, I stayed for a few good minutes._

_That’s when I heard his screaming. My breath hitched, and I immediately moved towards the sound of the man I loved. I sensed his agony and grew more and more fearful. I clung to his energy until I finally had eyes on him._

_“Jackson!” I rushed to him. He was on his side. He pressed his hands to his middle as he lay on the forest floor. “Oh god, Jackson.”_

_“I’m okay, I’m okay, I got him.” I took off the scarf I was wearing and pressed it to the wound in his abdomen._

_“Got who?” I asked as I tied it around him._

_“The damn bastard. I got him.” He hissed and practically howled as I got him to his feet. He was in so much pain I had to begin blocking it._

_“Come on. The other one is still out here and we’re a long way from the road.”_

_“Okay, baby, okay.” He said as I threw his arm over my shoulder to support him. “Let’s get to Bobby’s.”_

_I began waking him west. His pain and fear grew more and more with each step. I worried for each stumble and stagger as I had to start dragging him practically with me towards the road. And all I could do was pray that Bobby would find us_. 

  
  


I finally calmed down when Sam carried me to his room. He placed me on the bed full of concern and worry as I stopped crying. I stayed quiet, soaking in everything before me. Sam kneeled before me and wiped the tears from my cheeks and stroked the hair from my face. “You’re okay. We’re gonna be okay.” 

For the first time since I left the dungeon, I looked Sam in the eyes. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.” 

“Hey. None of this is your fault.” He said firmly. “He’s a freaking demon.” 

“I know.” More tears streamed down my face. “And it’s my fault he’s out.” 

I then sensed Dean at the door, he knocked and came in waving off worry. “Was he lying?” He asked me outright. 

I looked away. “No. He wasn’t.” 

“Are you okay?” He asked. I shook my head at that. He sighed then said, “he’s on lock down for now, but we need to figure this out.” 

“Exorcism?” Sam asked as he stood.

“If he smokes out he will tip off Abaddon that we’re looking for her.” I said to them. “And he’ll know where we are. We can’t risk our home,” 

Dean pulled up the chair from Sam’s desk and sat down. “So we have to kill him...which means killing the vessel.” 

“What if there’s a way to kill the demon but Jackson survives?” Sam asked, with a small wave of hope. “I mean Bobby killed one while it was possessing him.” 

“Yeah, and it landed him in freakin’ wheelchair.” I said dryly. I still remember the day I went and visited him and found that he was walking again. I was in total shock, then I learned how. I practically ripped him a new one for making a deal with Crowley, despite him telling me it was to stop the apocalypse. 

“Think there’s something the Men of Letters had that could help?” 

Dean thought for a moment. “Maybe.” Then he looked to me, “what the hell did he mean by you letting him out.”

I avoided both of their stares. “It was the only way. Only way to even try to get out alive.” 

“What happened that night?” Sam asked. I looked into his puppy dog eyes with fear. I hated talking about it. I had given them little details here and there, but never had told them the whole story, start to finish. 

“It was the first time I had ever met a demon. I had heard stories from Bobby, you know, from your adventures with him. We came across him, and trapped him.” I looked away fighting tears. Both boys were waving off concern and worry for me. “We called Bobby to help us...but we tried to exorcise it without him. Then another demon showed up. He had Jackson by the throat...I begged them to let him go. So...Reagan...he would only let us out of that damned barn if I let him out of the trap.” 

“You did it to save yourselves.” Sam said with a wave of realization. 

“He did it...to play his sick game.” I looked him in the eyes. “He made us go into the woods and hunted us...we barely got out alive, but not before...not before he hurt Jackson.” More tears streamed down my face as I told them the rest of the story. 

  
  


_I was growing more and more fearful as we stumbled through the dark. Jackson was breathing even harder than before I found him. The scarf he held to his gut was completely soaked red. “We’re almost there. We’re almost there.” I said like a mantra._

_“Angel...angel just stop.” He said weakly._

_Still I pushed on. “No. We’re almost there.” I looked up ahead and saw asphalt in the first rays of morning light. “Look. There’s the road.”_

_I got him to move forward, despite the waves of defeat coming from him. As we grew closer, he stumbled a bit more, and his arm was growing weaker. “Can we...can...we take...a…” he trailed off as we made it to the side of the road. Then his knees gave out._

_“Jackson!” I said as I tried to pull him up, but he was too heavy. He crumpled to the ground and I knelt near him. I sat on my knees and pulled him to my chest._

_“I’m so cold.” He then let his hand fall that was pressing on the wound._

_“No, baby, we have to keep pressure.” I then took the scarf in my hand and pressed down hard as I cradled his head in my other arm. “Just stay with me Jackson. Everything’s gonna be okay.”_

_“Angel...I can’t feel it.” He looked up at me with glazed eyes. Tears then streamed down mine. I knew it too. His pain was gone._

_“Stay with me. Bobby will find us any minute now.” I looked up at the sky, knowing his only chance now we’re my angels. “Josephine! Help us! Please! Chadwick. Sandriel! Help us. Please!”_

_Jackson then weakly grabbed my hand on his stomach, both of them stained with his blood. “My angel...my beautiful angel.” A tear escaped his. “I love you...I love you.”_

_I fought a sob as I kissed his face. “Please don’t...there’s so much left for us to do.” I suddenly realized that my angels weren't coming._

_He had a faint smile as he waved off love and hope for me. “You’ll get to finish it for me...I love you my Angel.” He kissed me weakly and I kissed him gently back, squeezing his hand hard. “My angel…” he whispered._

_I stared down at him as he closed his eyes. His hand in mine went limp. “Jackson…” His love. His hope. It faded away completely. “Jackson. Jackson!”_

_I couldn’t speak anymore as I gripped his body harder and pressed my face to his chest. I sobbed into it for a time I still cannot measure. I begged and cried for Jackson to come back to me. My cries were the thing that helped Bobby find me._

“That was our only chance and I took it. And it got Jackson...it got him killed. This is all my fault, and I don’t know how to fix it.” I looked up at Dean, who was wafting off sadness and worry for me. Sam was truly heartbroken by it as he gripped my hand. Old trauma coming from him as well. I knew he was thinking about Jessica too. 

It was quiet for a moment in all of our thinking. Then Sam said, “a while back, right after we first moved in...I think I found something. Something that could allow the person who is possessed by a demon to talk to us...I think it could help.” 

I looked into his eyes with hope and anxiety. “Really...we could talk to Jackson?” 

Dean nodded, “I could help bypass the torture on the guy. Know where it is? Or if it even works?” 

“Wanna find out?” Sam asked me. 

After a moment, I wiped away my tears and nodded eagerly. If I could do anything to help Jackson, I would. I had to. We all left Sam’s room. Dean ran off back to the dungeon to make sure Reagan wasn’t going anywhere, and Sam and I went off to the library. 

We had to pick through the files a bit, not sure where he had left it, but as soon as we found it I stared at it with pure fear. “He’s not gonna survive this is he?” I asked Sam quietly. 

He was quiet a moment, looking into my eyes with his puppy dog ones. I had seen a lot of them that day. “I don’t know...but if he can, we’ll make that happen. We won’t let him die. 

I sighed, “wouldn’t that be a one in a million chance though? I want him to live as much as anyone...but I don’t think it’s going to happen.” 

Sam then pressed his hand against my cheek and I looked up at him. I could sense his anxiety and his hope, but then a wave of realization and fear. “What if...what if it does?” He asked me. 

I was stunned for a moment as tears brimmed my eyes again. I hadn’t even thought of the possibility. I pressed my hand against the one that cupped my cheek. “It doesn’t change anything I feel about you. I know that. It’s just gonna hurt more that I might have to hurt him. Cause Sam...there’s no choice. I’m with you...I’m not going anywhere.” 

A bit of relief came from him. He then leaned down and kissed the top of my forehead. I then reached up and gave him a hug, knowing the both of us needed it. I lost myself for a few seconds in his tight grip, keeping hold of the man I love as the sinking realization that I would have to watch Jackson die all over again. I just wanted this nightmare to be over. 

…

We gathered the ingredients for the spell and found the proper tools for it. It was quite advanced from anything we had done before, but Sam felt confident that it would be successful. Then came time to face Reagan again. The three of us stood outside the door that led into the dungeon. 

“Are you sure you're ready for this?” Dean asked me a final time as I stared at the wooden door. 

I took a long breath. “Yes.” I said firmly. Dean and Sam exchanged a look, before he opened the door for me. I entered first, carrying the bowl that would contain the spell, while Sam had a box of the jars and containers of ingredients, as well as the ritual knife. I took it to the table sitting aside, just away from the edge of the metal devil’s trap. 

“Oh? So she has returned.” Reagan said with waves of sick pleasure and pride. “Was wondering when you would grace my presence again.” 

“Shut up.” Dean said, threatening Reagan with the flask of holy water. Sam and I quickly got to work on the spell. 

“What’s all that pretty boy?” 

“I said, ‘shut up.’” Dean said then threw water onto the demon’s face. He roared as Sam began putting in the special herbs of the spell. I held the knife in my hand as I avoided the demon’s eyes. 

Then I heard the demon sniff the air as Sam opened a bottle of myrrh. “Why the hell are you putting together a spell? Can’t exorcise me with myrrh now can you?” 

Sam then said as he put in the last ingredient, “you’re not leaving here.” I then took the knife and sliced the side of my hand, letting a few drops of blood into the odd mixture. 

Fear then came from the demon as I spoke the spell words, “ _loquor, loqui, capti autem gratis: gratis dico, ut nemo nos inlaqueaverunt_.” Sam then lit a match and dropped it into the bowl. 

“No!” Reagan screamed as bright blue fire erupted in the bowl and flamed out for a few seconds. As it fizzled out, Jackson’s head and neck slumped forward, his body held up by the chains. 

I stared at the body as Sam took the knife from my hand and took the wounded one in his. He wrapped it up for me in a bandana as we all stayed quiet and waited to see what was going to happen. The waves of anger and pride from the demon weren't all the way gone, but waved out much smaller and less powerful. There were new ones now. Ones of confusion and slight fear. 

I stepped forward towards the edge of the trap, all three of us wafting off hope but anxiety as well. “Jackson?” I whispered. 

His head lifted slowly up and he looked up at me with confusion and exhaustion now. I let out the breath I was holding when he said my name. All three of us rushed at him making sure he was alright. Dean grabbed the keys to unlock the shackle around Jackson’s neck while Sam and I helped him sit up right. 

“Easy, buddy, you’re alright.” Sam said as he helped with him. 

“What’s going on? Who are these guys?” He asked me weakly as he started to wave off panic. 

“It’s okay.” I said to him gently, pressing my hands to his cheeks, “it’s okay. Jackson. They’re hunters like us, they’re here to help.”

Dean then got the shackle off his neck. When he went to Jackson’s wrist, another wave of fear came from him. “Dont!” Dean was startled by Jackson’s weak outburst. “He’s listening...I don’t know how but he still has some control.” 

That made a pit in my stomach, and Dean put the key away. “You remember anything?” He asked. 

Jackson nodded as I stepped a bit away. He coughed a bit and Sam ran off for some water. “Just sit tight okay. You’re safe now.” I assured him. 

Jackson shook his head then. “You shouldn’t have brought him here. He’ll kill you.” I tried to shush him and calm him down. “He’ll kill you. He wants to so badly.” 

“It’s okay. I’m safe. We’re safe, Jackson. He’s not going anywhere.” Sam then came back in with a bottle of water. He handed it to me and I unscrewed it. “Here, drink.” 

I got him to drink some water while Dean dragged me out a chair. I sat down as Jackson asked, “how-how did you-“ 

“A spell.” Sam told him. “Found it in our archives.” 

Jackson then looked between the boys, “you're the _Winchesters_ he and Abaddon go on about.” 

“Yeah,” I said. “This Dean, and Sam…” I wasn’t sure what else to say about that. _He’s my boyfriend. But how do you say that to the boyfriend you never broke up with cause you thought he died?_ Sam also had a wave of anxiety at that. 

“You know about Abaddon?” Dean asked.

“Wish I didn’t.” Jackson said then looked down. Shame came from him. “God what he’s done.” 

I swallowed. “What do you remember?” 

I watched as he thought about it a moment, shame and anxiety came from him as he gritted his teeth a little. An old quirk that I remember bugging him about all that time ago. “Some of it...things that he would let me see. It was as if he got off on me watching.” 

Tears brimmed by eyes again. Sam then spoke carefully, “She said you died, how did he-“ 

“He made her think that I died. Hell I thought I was too.” I looked up into his eyes as I thought back. “I remember the woods...I remember bleeding out...After that it was black for a while. He used some kind of magic or something. I don’t know…” 

“You said you remember some of it?” Dean asked, “what do you know about Abaddon?” 

Jackson, then had a small wave of anger, “not much. He didn’t like me listening in on them. I made out some things. She’s looking for a...a Crowley.” 

I shook my head. “Yep. War on Hell.” I muttered. “She’s looking for the guy in charge. Wants to kill him for the throne.” 

“Yeah. They’ve been...they’ve been gathering souls...creating demons for her army. It’s getting larger by the day.” 

“We know.” Sam said, “anything else? How about where she is?” 

Jackson shook his head again, “she moves around too much for me to get anything. I’m sorry.”

“Don't be sorry, okay?” I said firmly. “None of this...It’s not your fault.” 

“Why are you looking for her?” Jackson asked, “you can’t kill her.” 

Dean smirked a little, “let’s just say I have some mojo and a weapon that will change that.” 

I rolled my eyes at that, while Jackson chuckled a little. “Where the hell did you find these guys?” 

I smiled at that, “oh, they crashed a case of mine a few years back.” A wave of nostalgia came from the boys and I watched as Sam smiled. 

Jackson furrowed his eyebrows. “How long as it been?” 

My smile disappeared as my stomach churned. I looked away, “almost five years.” 

A wave of shock came from Jackson. “It’s been five years? I knew it was a while, but…five years?” 

There was a lull as he sat with the realization. Dean then asked Sam, quietly, “how long does the spell last?” 

“The files never said.” Sam replied, “could be a few hours, days…” 

“Are you going to exorcise the bastard or what?” Jackson suddenly asked. 

“Jackson...we exorcise him; he’ll tip off Abaddon.” Dean explained bluntly, “now we can try to kill him, but-“ 

“It will kill me too.” 

“We don’t want to do that.” I said quickly. “We just...we haven’t figured out how to kill him without killing you. And we do an exorcism, we don’t even know if you could survive that anyway.” 

“I wouldn’t.” 

My heart dropped to my shoes. “What?” 

He swallowed and looked away from me, “that stab wound alone would kill me, but...these last few months. I’ve been shot and stabbed, kicked and scratch, almost anything you can think of short decapitation. This...this damned thing has put my body through hell. I just want it over with.” I closed my eyes and let my tears fall at that. I sensed his defeat and acceptance of it. “Angel it’s the only way. But I have some info that could help. I’ll tell you all everything I can. Then...then you kill him.” 

“No. Jackson-“ 

“I’m sorry, but...there’s no surviving this. It’s my time…” I let out a shaky breath at that. 

I stood up quietly and excused myself, fighting the urge to cry again. As soon as I got to the hallway, I began pacing, placing my hands on the top of my head focusing on breathing. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Jackson was going to die, and I had to relive it all again. 

Going through it all in my head, I eventually calmed down. So I waited for the boys to finish talking with Jackson. I could hear them as he gave intel on Abaddon and the demon war. Most information was all that we had known already. 

Dean and Sam then came out of the room, both wafting off even more worry for me. “He’s asking for you.” Dean told me simply. 

I stopped in my tracks. “I hate this. I _hate_ the fact that I have to watch him die...again.” 

“Hey,” Sam said, stepping closer, “none of this...is your fault. And you don’t have to be there, we can take care of him, it’s okay-“ 

“No it’s not Sam.” I said with a burst of anger. “He’s _possessed_ because of me. I have to live with that...and I know him. He wouldn’t want to die alone. _I_ don’t want him to die alone. But then...there’s also the fact that he won’t go to heaven or hell, he’s going straight to veil. No place I want anyone to go.” 

Dean held up his palms. “We explained it to him. Said he would have to be Casper for a little while until the angels fix up heaven. He...he’s done.” 

I looked away with tears in my eyes. “That’s what I was afraid of.” 

Defeat came from all three of us. I knew the boys didn't want this to be done either, but we had to do what we had to do. No matter how much we hated it. And the fact was, Jackson was done. He wanted to die. I crossed my arms and looked back at Jackson, who was staring at me again. 

Dean then pressed a hand to my shoulder, “take as long as you want. Let us know when you're both ready okay?” 

I looked up at Sam. “I’ll be right out here.” He said to me with waves of sadness for me. I nodded then slowly went back in. 

“Hey.” I said as I sat down in front of Jackson, sitting much closer. 

He smiled a little. “Hey angel.” He had a small bit of joy at seeing me. 

“I don’t know what to say.” 

“We have all the time in the world. I’m not letting him take this from me.” He said with a wave of determination. An old determination that I loved so dearly. “Tell me everything.” 

I sighed. “Well...after you died, Bobby helped me out a little. I uh...I broke ties with those Angels I knew.” 

“Why?” He asked with a wave of sadness. 

“I prayed for them to help you...they didn’t come. I didn’t even see them after that. They just...disappeared.” 

He looked down. “It was too late. They wouldn’t have been able to save me. Have you seen them since? I mean, they were your family.” 

“Yeah...I have.” I said with a nod, “they uh, resurfaced after the angels fell.” 

“I remember that. Abaddon said it was the perfect time to rise back up.” 

“Yeah.” 

“But you haven’t forgiven them?” 

I was taken aback a little. He still knew me so well. I shook my head, “I don’t know...I love them like family, and I care about them, but...I don’t know if I can. I mean...they didn’t help you when I asked them to.” 

“Or is it because you can’t forgive yourself? Angel, none of this was your fault. I’m the one who thought going after a demon was a good idea.” We both chuckled at that. 

“Yeah, well...I’m the one who got you possessed.” 

“Well...I forgive you then.” 

“Jackson-“ 

“No,” he said with a wave of determination again. “I forgive you. For everything that you can’t forgive yourself about with me. You can’t change the past sweetheart. You can only do better.” 

I paused a moment and smiled a little. “You used to always say that.” 

“My wisdom hasn’t changed.” 

I chuckled again, “sure you want to call it wisdom?” He laughed at that. Oh did I miss that laugh. 

He smiled again, and said, “so...Sam.” 

My face fell with guilt. “Yeah...he’s my boyfriend.” 

Jackson nodded. “Lucky bastard.” 

“Jackson.” I chided. 

“Sorry. I say it with all good intentions. Besides, what did I expect. You thought I was dead. It’s okay that you found somebody. I’m glad even.” 

I smiled at that. “You always said that you wanted me to be happy, right?” 

“Right. So tell me, what’s the whole story of you and the Winchesters?” I smiled at that. 

…

I told him as many stories as I could about my adventures with the brothers. Everything that had happened in those years. He was sad to hear about Bobby and amazed by how I survived Purgatory. In the end of it, he was wafting off pride and joy. “My angel, fighting the good fight.” He smiled brightly, the same smile that I loved for so long, “I can’t tell you how proud I am of you.” 

I smiled at that. “I wish...I wish that you didn’t have to miss it. I wish...that I knew and could have helped you. Cause god, it kills me Jackson.” 

He nodded. “It’s almost over. And I’ll be with you for the rest of it.” 

I shook my head, “don’t you dare start hauntin’ me or I swear-“ 

“I know.” He chuckled. “But you know what? I feel like the luckiest man alive right now.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Lucky?” 

“Yeah, cause I got to know you, love you. I still do you know? And I always will.” 

I smiled through the tears, “and I’ll always love you. That’s why I did it...that’s why I have the angel wings on my back. Because...I wanted to finish what we started. And their a reminder of that.” 

“And you will.” I nodded at that. A few moments passed in the quiet. I knew what was next, and I didn’t want it to come. But there were very few words left to say, and I knew Jackson was fighting the demon now. Fighting to stay surfaced. To face death once again with a smile. 

“Is it time?” I asked gently. 

He nodded with a wave of acceptance, “yes, my angel.” 

I let a few tears fall as I stood up and placed the chair in its original spot. I walked to the door slowly, growing numb to what I was about to do. Opening it, I found Sam and Dean waiting. They both were across the hallway, sitting against the wall waiting. My voice shook a little, “he’s ready.” 

They both stood, wafting off worry. “Are you?” Sam asked as I opened the door wider for them to come through. 

“No. But let’s get it over with.” I replied. The three of us went into the dungeon. Jackson was wafting off acceptance as we moved forward. It was decided that Dean would do it. Said that it would be quick with the demon knife straight to the heart. 

No matter Sam’s silent pleading, I would stay for Jackson’s last breath. I knew that I couldn’t leave him for this. No matter how scared or hurt I was, I had to be there for the man I once loved so dearly. “This is it. Thanks for the last day. For killing this demon once and for all.” He said to Dean, then turned to Sam. “Take care of your girl.” 

“I will. I promise.” Sam said firmly. I looked up with tears brimming in my eyes and a soft smile at Sam. 

Then I looked at Jackson, pressing my hand to his. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“I know. You didn’t the last time, angel.” He smiled brightly. “Promise me something?” 

“What?” 

“Live. Be happy. And fight on. Fight on like the huntress I know you are.” I smiled at that and nodded. I then stepped back letting the tears stream down my face. “I’m ready...see you all on the other side I guess.” 

I watched on with a held breath, Sam taking my hand to squeeze as I watch Jackson stare into my eyes for a moment. He smiled one last time, then breathed out steadily, and said “...my angel.” He closed his eyes. I turned away when Dean stabbed him in the heart. I didn’t start crying again until I finally felt both the demon and the man I used to love fade away completely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Yep. Been sitting on this wild ride for a while now. Came up with the idea when I wrote the Devil May Care chapter and have had so much fun with it. I hope the angst was too bad, but I throughly enjoyed writing this one. I know it’s super long, and I even considered breaking it into two chapters, but decided to keep it to one. Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed seeing this particular part of Reader’s backstory that I’ve been teasing for the last three parts of the story. Up next, King of the Damned.


	21. King of the Damned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a call from Cas and from Crowley, and we finally find Abaddon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year y’all! How your 2021 goes a lot better than last year. So here’s a new chapter. Cause of the holidays and some much needed time off, plus a little lack of motivation, ten is underway but I’m taking my time. The second half of Season ten is not my favorite, actually probably some of my least favorite episodes of the series, so I haven’t been super motivated to write. But I’m on my way, I’m on episode 19 of that, so I’ll get there, and setting up for the future storyline for ready has been so much fun. (I can only rely on the go plot so much, just gotta add a little spice.) anyways, I’m rambling. Enjoy! —Indigo

_“Everyman’s island, Jean-Louise, every man’s watchman, is his conscience.”_ —Harper Lee

  
  
  


In a way, I was grieving. It was strange for a while. I was grieving someone I had already lost. The boys tried all they could with me. I swear Sam had patience like a saint. But I was climbing walls. So I found us a case in Chicago. The events of which we found several families of monsters fighting each other for territory like the mob. Dealing with it initially was a good distraction, and we helped a kid out. But I was still struggling heavily. 

Then we got a call from Cas. Something about Metatron, so we left, telling this kid not to go hunting, though I doubted he would listen. 

So we were off to meet Cas at his home base for looking for the new God, parking in front of a office building. “This is the address?” Dean asked as we got out. 

“Yeah.” Sam replied as we went up the door. He was about to knock when the door suddenly opened.

An angel appeared in front of us with waves of determination. “If you'll follow me, the Commander will see you now.” 

We followed him in as Dean asked us, “The Commander?” 

I shrugged as we followed the angel. Then I sensed it. The massive amount of power and energy within the building. There had to be at least a few dozen angels as we entered the large bullpen. Many of them stared at us as we walked through. “Woah.” I said as I figured Cas had put together an angel army. “Why are they staring at us?” I whispered to Sam. 

“Pretty sure they’re staring at you.” He said with a new wave of protectiveness. I smirked a little and took his hand, showing that everything was okay. 

The angel then brought us up some stairs to a private, glass office that overlooked the many desks. It had several maps and a computer system, there we found our Castiel. 

He wafted off Joy and relief when he saw us. “Sir.” The angel addressed him, and Cas proceeded to give Dean a Hug. Then Sam. Then Me. 

“Hey, Cas.” I said with a smile. 

He then looked up to the angel still waving at the door. “Um...dismissed.” He left and said to us, “He can be a little stuffy.” He then looked down on me. “You’re grieving? Is everything alright?” 

“I’ll tell you about it later, okay?” I said quietly. 

“So...Commander?” Dean then asked. 

“Yeah, not my idea.” Cas replied with a wave of bashfulness. “They had no leader, and they insisted on following me.” 

“Yeah. No, we get it. You're a rock star.” 

“Bartholomew is dead. Malachi was murdered by Gadreel, and with Metatron as powerful as he is now, I needed to do something.” 

Sam and I then exchanged a look as he turned and looked out the window looking out to the bullpen, then asked, “So this war between angels is really gonna happen, huh?” 

“Not if I can find a diplomatic option for getting rid of Metatron.” 

“Good luck with that.” Dean said darkly. 

“Dean, this angel-on-angel violence—it has to end. Someone has to say, ‘enough.’”

“And that someone is you?” I asked, concerned. 

“That brings me to why you're here.” Cas said with waves of worry, “We have a prisoner. It's an angel from Metatron's inner circle. I need to know what they're planning, but so far, he's revealed nothing.” 

“So, you're done with the rough stuff, and you want us to be your goons?” Dean asked dryly. I gave him a look at that. 

“Well, you've had success at these situations before. If you don't want to do it, I understand.” 

“Who says I don’t want to do it?” I looked down at Dean’s words, anger and anticipation came from him. 

“Alright so we’re interrogating an angel now.” I said dryly. “Anything else we need to know boss?” 

Cas smiled a little at me. “Yes...have you heard from Sandriel?” 

My face fell a little, “not really.” I replied carefully. Worry came from Sam, “but he’s with Josephine and Chadwick. They’re safe. Why do you ask?” 

“Because he’s here.” He then looked at the glass door and Sandriel was standing on the other side of it. He smiled brightly when our eyes met, and he came in wafting off joy. He immediately pulled me into a bear hug. 

“Sandy.” I said with a small laugh. I pulled away from him and asked, “what are you doing here?” 

“Jo sent me. Said you’ll need my help in the coming days.” I nodded at that. His smile then disappeared, “I’m sorry. About Jackson, I had heard from her when it happened.” 

I nodded, “thank you.” I then turned to the brothers, “you remember Sam, and this is Dean.” 

Sam then shook hands with the angel while Dean scrutinized him a little. A small wave of anger came from him, but thankfully he kept his mouth shut. After speaking for a few moments, Cas led us back to an interrogation room in the basement, where we met a chained Angel named Ezra. 

His vessel was a short man with grey hair and in a sweater, but still he waved off pride and smugness, and yet a small bit of fear. “You're wasting your time.” He said, “I have nothing to say.” 

“We disagree.” Dean told him holding an angel blade. I was pacing behind the angel, while the boys stood in front of him. 

“There's no use torturing me. I am a trained commando.” He wasn’t lying, but bolstering the truth a little. “It won't work.” 

“Wow. Well, you just asked me to dance.” 

“Dean! Dean! He won't be telling us anything dead.” Sam said to his brother, keeping him from hurting the angel, as he had an idea. “Besides, you know, I'm-I'm really starting to realize that he probably doesn't know anything.” 

I caught on as I circled the angel, saying, “He was probably just pretending at the bar. Most likely, he's a nobody. I mean, do the math. Ezra here is one of Metatron's _elite_ posse? Really?” 

Sam then continued, “One of Metatron's most trusted is, uh-is hanging out at bars, blabbing about the boss. Does that make any sense?” 

“Well, only if Metatron is purposely surrounding himself with losers.” Dean said with a wave of amusement. 

“Exactly! Right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What's this guy even doing here?” 

“He's a wannabe.” Dean said with a smirk, “I mean, if he was a key player, he would be up in heaven with Metatron where all the action is.” 

“Exactly.” I replied. 

“What if I'm a decoy? Or in deep cover?” Ezra said with hurt pride. 

Sam laughed. “I-it's pathetic,” He said with a smile. 

“Mm, probably hasn't even been to heaven, not since the fall.” Dean mused. 

“Of course not!” 

“Yes, I have.” He said. And he wasn’t lying. 

“Buddy, the gates are sealed. No one can get in.” I told him, knowing that I found his weak spot. My subtle nod at the boys told them he was telling the truth. 

“Who said anything about gates? You don't need gates when you have a private portal.” 

“Right.” Sam said with new determination. “If there was a doorway on earth, the angels would've sensed it.” 

“Yeah, you can't hide something like that.” Dean replied. 

“No.” 

“You can if it moves around from place to place, if it's wherever the boss wants it to be.” Ezra said, trying to save his pride. 

The boys and I exchanged a look, to which I smiled. “I see. I got it.” Sam said, faking his laugh, “So, you heard a rumor about Metatron's ‘secret portal,’ and you decided to run with it.” 

“It's not a rumor. He showed me.” Ezra tried to say, to keep his pride, but it just confirmed it more. Still the boys wanted anything we could get.

I chuckled as Dean said, “I get it. He's a fan.” 

“A fan. Yeah.” 

“You're a fan. Just 'cause you're hot for Metatron...or Bieber or Beckham...Just 'cause you know everything about them doesn't mean that you actually _know_ them.” 

“Or that they even know you exist.” Sam added to the burn. I laughed at that. 

“Ooh, that’s cold, Sammy.” 

“I'm just sayin', man.” 

“I was interviewed _personally_ by Metatron for a key post.” The angel said finally. 

I knew I could crack him with this as I said, “Yeah? Oh, wow. Well, then maybe you can tell me why you weren't at your _key post_ and you were hanging down here instead.” 

Then angel’s hurt pride and the evidence on his face told us all we needed to know about that. “Mm. Now, that blows.” Dean said, “He got passed over.” 

“Yeah.” Sam replied. 

“I-I was a finalist.” 

“Oh, man. To get so close and then get kicked downstairs. It sucks to be you.” 

The angel had a pure wave of anger then, “Hardly anybody was chosen! And ground forces is still a very important assignment. It was an honor to have even been considered for the squad.” 

“What ‘squad?’ There is no squad.” Dean said, wanting to know more. 

“Yeah, says you. It's a highly guarded secret.” 

“Oh. And what you be doing, exactly?” The angel didn’t say anything, a bit of shame came from him. “No?” 

“Wait a second. Just, please, uh...Clarify this for me.” Sam, asked, “You desperately wanted this job, but you didn't know what it was?” 

“Well, until you were chosen, the exact nature of the mission was kept a secret.” Ezra told us. 

“Wow.” Sam said. 

“And...Hardly anyone was chosen.” We all sighed, knowing that’s all we could get and left the room. 

“Dim bulb. No wonder he got bumped.” Dean remarked. 

“Yeah. ‘Ground forces?’ ‘Elite secret squad?’ What's Metatron gearing up for?” Sam asked while he locked the door. 

“I don't know—why don't we shove somebody through the back door of heaven and find out. Oh, wait. No. It's portable and can't be found.” Dean replied with a wave of defeat. 

“Maybe there’s a way to find it?” I asked. “Let’s talk to Cas and update him on what we know.” So we went back to Castiel’s office. He was wafting off a bit of relief to get some information but we were all disappointed to hear the new problems. 

Then another angel came in. She was panicked and told us that Ezra was dead. We went with her to see the body for ourselves. He was stabbed through right where we had left him, and now we all had grown worried. We went back to Cas’ office to discuss it privately. 

“It's unbelievable. I mean, he was fine when we left him.” Sam said. 

“I barely touched the guy,” Dean replied. 

“Still shackled, no weapon. It wasn't suicide,” I told Cas with a bit of concern. 

He was worried as well. “No. This was an angel kill.” 

“Okay. Well, I'm gonna say it.” Dean told him, “Maybe your operation's been hacked. You know, Metatron's got somebody on the inside.” 

Cas wafted off disappointment as well as anxiety, “I was sure everyone here was loyal. Finally united by a common cause.” 

“Well, that's the problem. See, you don't think anybody's lying. I think everybody's lying. It's a gift.” He turned to Sam and I, “Lets do some nosin’ around.” 

We got up to leave, Dean being first out the door, but Cas called for Sam. “You have a moment?” 

I stayed, sensing the anxiety from Cas. “Yeah. What?” Sam asked him. 

“I wanted to ask you about Gadreel, the time he possessed you.” 

Waves of anxiety and anger came from Sam as I stepped closer to him, “It's not really something I like to-“ 

“Sam, please.” Cas said, with worry. 

I pressed my hand to Sam’s back, offering some comfort, “you don’t have to say anything.” 

Sam nodded, but decided to proceed. “He didn't possess me completely—more like we, uh...shared housing. I was still me.” 

“Did you ever sense a presence?” 

“I don't really know what I felt. I mean, maybe that I wasn't completely alone.” 

“And you?” Cas asked me. 

I looked down, but said, “a few times...it was always strange and old.” 

“Did you ever feel threatened?” Cas asked the both of us. 

I looked up at Sam after I shook my head. Despite my mixed feelings on the angel, I couldn’t say I ever was with Gadreel. Sam then said, “No. More that he...wasn't at rest, l-like he had unfinished business. Now that we know more about him, I-I'd say he felt misunderstood.” 

“But not-not a danger, not hostile.” 

“No. I was wrong, obviously. He killed Kevin.” I swallowed at that. 

“Why don’t you catch up with Dean? I’ll be there in a minute.” I told Sam with a small smile. He went off after a quick look of concern. Then I turned to Cas. “Gadreel...Gadreel is complicated. And he’s made some terrible choices. If he didn’t...if he didn’t hurt Sam, or me, or Kevin...I would want to forgive him. A part of me, still wants to forgive him. Is that wrong?” I asked. 

“No.” Castiel said firmly. “I think being able to forgive is a part of human nature that is so appealing, and yet rare. A quality in you that makes you special.” 

I smiled at that then left the room to find my boys. 

…

Dean got the call from Crowley. The damned call he had been waiting for. Crowley had found Abaddon. Anticipation and anger wafting off him as we drove towards the location of the blade. A freaking cemetery. 

It was dark when we found the grave he hid it in, and we dug for it. Unfortunately for us it was a fresh grave. When we forced the lid open we found the body of a man with no blade in sight. Waves of disgust came from all of us. “Oh! Come on, Crowley!” Sam said exasperated. “You really, uh, uh, have to hide the Blade in a corpse? Not-not with a corpse but _in_ a corpse?” 

“Prick.” I muttered. 

“I got to say,” Dean mused, “it's not the first place I'd look. Alright, here we go.” 

As he bent down to get to the corpse, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I could hear dissent growling. “Dean? Do you hear that?” I asked. 

Dean looked up at the sound too, fear waved off us as he said, “I'm guessing Hellhound.” More growling came near us as it approached us. “Go. Go!” 

We scrambled out of the grave and ran towards the gates of a nearby mausoleum. Luckily for us we narrowly closed it, baring it with the crowbar Sam had in his hand as the hellhound growled at us from behind it, ramming it’s head at the bars. Dean got out his phone and called Crowley back, pissed off even more than before. “Damn it, Crowley, the grave is guarded!” 

“That’s absurd.” I could hear Crowley say. 

“A Hellhound!” 

“No, no, no, she was collected.” 

“Guys!” Sam said as the hound approached us. 

“Time was, no one would dare disobey the king.” 

“Guys!” I shouted. 

“I’m gonna put you on speaker!” Dean said. 

“Juliet?” Crowley said sweetly. “It's papa. Stand down.” I breathed a sigh of relief as she did thankfully. She went across the cemetery until I couldn’t sense her anymore. “You’re welcome.” The demon said cheerily. 

I rolled my eyes and opened the gate back up, we then rushed back to the grave. As we stood over the decaying corpse, all I could smell was death. We knelt next to it, and Dean ripped open the guy’s shirt, showing a hack job of stitches down the body’s gut. A wave of determination came from Dean, after he ripped up the stitches, “alright. Goin’ in.” 

Sam stopped him. “Hey, you know what?” Sam said, “Maybe, uh...Maybe I should do this.”

“Sam, it's fine. I—I-I can safely grab it without...you know…” he trailed off as Sam and I both gave him a look. Sam then bent down and dug his hand through the corpse. I covered my mouth with my sleeved arm as new smells poured out. Eventually, Sam got out the blade dripping in bodily fluids.

“Well, let's go kill a knight of hell, huh?” I asked after grunting from the smell. 

“Yeah.” Sam said then wrapped it up in a cloth. We cleaned up the body and left quickly. 

After we started driving, Dean called Crowley again, “What? Shut up. Look, we got the Blade.” He said to the demon. 

I could faintly hear Crowley on the phone, “You do? Well, you need to get it here at once. Cleveland, Humboldt Hotel. Penthouse, of course. When you get here, I'll take you to Abaddon. I'll draw her out, and then you can skewer the ignorant hag.” 

“Alright, we’re on our way.” 

“Oh, and, Dean, you need to get a move on. It's a good day's drive from Poughkeepsie.” I raised my eyebrow at that while Dean wafted off some confusion and anger. 

“What are you talking about? We're not even near there.” 

“Yeah, like I said, you need to leave Poughkeepsie right away.” Then he hung up. 

“So, we good?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah.” Dean said, picking up the gas. I fiddled with my ring willing the car to drive faster, hoping that this all would go smoothly, and that none of us would get hurt. 

…

We arrived in Cleveland about midday in front of the hotel. We got out with Sam holding the blade. “Alright. Let’s do this,” he said as we looked up at the building. 

Dean then had a wave of determination and protectiveness as he said, “Wait-wait-wait. Hold on a sec. We should give this place a once-over before we go up there.” 

“Okay, why?” 

“Crowley said he thought he saw some demons headed down to the basement. He'd have checked it out himself, but if word got back to Abaddon that he'd been seen…” 

“When did he say all this?” I asked, not believing his little lies. 

“On the phone.” Dean said to me. “Look, it might mean that she knows that he's here, okay? So why don't you two check out the basement. I'll, uh, take a look on the main floor.” 

After a moment, Sam let Dean have the blade. I grew worried as we separated, heading towards the basement of the building like he asked, sensing that he wanted to protect us as he faced Abaddon. 

While Sam and I found the place, I told Sam, “Dean was lying a little about Crowley. I don’t think we’ll find any demons.” 

Sam stopped in his tracks. “Then why did we listen to him?” 

“Because he’s stubborn and wanted to protect us, hence why I told you now.” I turned towards the door with him wafting off shock and anger, “are we going to save your ass of a brother or what?” 

We practically ran through the hotel, drawing some stares but no one stopped us. Using the stairwell, we ran up two at a time, finially reaching the penthouse floor. “This way!” I said as I sensed the demon’s as well as Dean. The pure anger and power told me he was using the blade.

We ran in just in time to see Dean advance onto Abaddon, who had been standing there in shock, Crowley clearly injured watching on. Dean then stabbed the Knight of Hell in the stomach with the ancient blade. 

Pure wild and ancient energy flowed out of the room as he lifted her off the ground. Abaddon breathed hard and screamed as bright red light came from her wound. Sam threw me behind himself as the red energy finally burst through her body. 

I looked up to see the bitch dead, and Dean waving off huge waves of anger. There wasn’t any of Dean left as he dropped the body and straddled it. He stabbed it again and again, blood splattering all over the blade, his hands, and his face. I stood there shocked as Sam called out to his brother, “Dean. Dean! Dean! Stop!” The elder Winchester finally looked up at us. “You can stop.” 

Dean’s waves of anger disparaged as he dropped the bloody blade and stared at his hands in pure horror and shock. I stepped towards him carefully. “Dean?” 

He looked up at me, with soft eyes, then away, shame coming from him. We proceeded to clean things up at bit, Sam taking the blade up. I helped Dean off the floor, and he helped me clear the place. To which we found a young man in his twenties. Apparently this was Gavin, Crowley’s son. Abaddon pulled him from the 18th century to use as blackmail. 

Sam then finished cleaning the blade up as I walked towards them. 

“Darling?” Crowley called. “Could you help me out? Bullet.” I shook my head and took a knife I kept in my boot. I handed it to him as well as a rag. He began trying to take it out as he said, “You could at least—aah!—help me with this.” 

Sam wafted off annoyance. “We didn't kill you, Crowley, even though it would've been very easy. Isn't that enough?” 

“You owe me. Do I get no credit for warning you this was a trap?” Sam wafted off shock while they stayed quiet. “‘Poughkeepsie’ ring a bell?” I scoffed and walked towards the demon, tired of his complaining. “I sense drama,” he said after a chuckle. 

Dean then walked back towards us as I took the knife myself, fishing for the damn bullet. “I just still can't get over the fact that Crowley has a son.” Dean said, then to Crowley, “How’s he doing, by the way?” 

I smiled to myself and I got the bullet. “Ow!” The demon yelled as I pocketed it. “How do you think?” 

“You’re welcome.” I said and pressed the wound with the rag. I took back my knife and cleaned it off as I said, “You get that he's got to go back, right? To his own time?” 

A small wave of protectiveness and shame came from the demon, “If the lad goes back, his destiny is to board a ship bound for America. That ship went down in a storm. All hands were lost. He had one chance in this world to change his life. You want that to all end in tragedy?” 

Dean looked down at the demon with pity, “Well, I don't know what to tell you. Them's the rules. He goes back.” 

“The lore _all_ says the same thing—you change any one thing in the past, the ripple effect impacts everything that follows.” Sam told him. 

A small wave of anger came from the demon as I put the knife back in my boot. “Please. No one bends the rules like you two bend the rules. He's one misfit kid. He impacts no one.” 

“You don't bend that rule, okay? You don't. We'll take him back to the bunker, figure out the spell. That's the way it's got to be.” 

“Can I at least say goodbye?” He said with a small wave of sadness. “I'll cheer the day when the last trace of humanity leaves me. _Feelings._ ” 

I smirked and chuckled at that. “Learn to live with it darling.” The demon then got up and went into the room Gavin was waiting in. We watched for a moment, but then I sensed a wave of protectiveness from the demon. He magically slammed the doors. 

We all rushed at them, and opened them hastily, just to find the room empty. “Dammit Crowley!”

…

We were driving down the road that night, and Sam and I were both worried for Dean. What we saw with him in killing Abaddon was terrifying, and I didn’t even know where to begin to unpack that. 

Still, a new wave of anger came from Sam when he asked about Poughkeepsie. 

Dean had his wave of protectiveness and determination, “I didn't tell you about the warning because I knew exactly what you would do. You two would make sure that you were right alongside me going in that room.” 

“You mean like we always do? Because we're actually partners in this and we watch each other's backs?” Sam asked him with bite. 

“I don’t expect you to understand.” Dean said with waves of shame. 

“Try us.” I said simply, knowing full well that Dean was on the cusp of telling us something big. 

“First time I touched that Blade...I knew. I knew that I wouldn't be stopped. I knew I would take down Abaddon and anything else if I had to. And it wasn't a hero thing. You know, it wasn't... It was just calm.” That left a pit in my stomach. “I knew. And I had to go it alone, Sammy.” 

That only caused more anger from Sam. “Oh. Of course. So it was just another time where you had to protect me.” 

“Either one of you or both could've gotten nabbed by Abaddon, and she could've bargained her way out. We couldn't afford to screw this up.” 

“Look...I'm glad it worked out, okay? I am. And I'm glad the Blade gives you strength or calm or whatever, but, Dean, I got to say...I'm starting to think the Blade is doing something else, too.” 

“Yeah? Like what?” 

“I don't know. Like, something _to_ you.” 

I then spoke up, “Dean, I’ve told you. When you held that thing...you didn’t feel like you. It’s scaring the crap out of me. Of Sam too.” 

“Look...I'm thinking until we know for sure that we're gonna kill off Crowley, why don't we store the Blade somewhere distant? Lock it up somewhere safe? Okay?” 

After a moment of Dean’s stubbornness and determination, he said “No.” The fight that ensued from that was one that made me want to have Dean stop the car, and I would walk home. But by the time tempers had flared and voices got horse, we were all exhausted. 

Dean just drove us back home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Stairway to Heaven. Fair warning yall, it gets intense, especially for the reader. All comments and kudos are appreciated!


	22. Stairway to Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The demon queen is dead, and now we will fight Metatron. But the First Blade is making Dean change in a way I never thought I would see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So, it’s been a hot minuet. Will be posting this, and the last chapter in the next few days! After that I will be taking a break so that I can get season ten done. It’s been slow going, as I’ve said, but I hope y’all enjoy!—indigo

_“I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.”_ —Neil Gaiman

  
  


We got back home wafting off exhaustion late Into the night that Abaddon died. Dean sulked off to his room with the blade, while Sam and I went back to his room. “We need to be worried right?” I asked as I chucked off my boots from my tired feet. 

“Yeah, I think so.” Sam replied as he laid down. I took my knife and placed it under my pillow, where it belonged, and curled up on his chest, him wrapping his arms protectively around me. 

“I’ve said it from the start...that thing is bad news. We have to convince him to stash it somewhere. Destroy it even.” 

“We’ll figure it out.” Sam whispered as we both fell to light sleeps. My mind drifted off gently as I listened to Sam’s steady breathing. For a while, I dreamed of nothing and relaxed completely, thankful for the rest. 

Next thing I knew there was blaring rock music. Panic surged in both Sam and I as he pulled out the gun he had under his pillow, and I grabbed my knife. We both looked up to Dean standing at the end of the bed holding a speaker. “Nice reflexes. Better hair.” 

“What the hell Dean?” I growled at the same time Sam spoke groggily. 

“What's wrong with you? I could have shot you.” He put the gun down and checked his watch. “Why aren't you sleeping? We got in like two hours ago.” 

Determination was wafting off him, “Not tired. And we got work to do, so,” he threw Sam’s boots at us, “put on your dancing shoes, and let's boogie.” He then left the room. 

I looked up at Sam, very grumpy, “I’m gonna kill him.” 

“Yeah, let’s get you some coffee.” He said, getting out of the bed. I groaned and flopped onto my back. “Come on.” 

He coaxed me out of bed and made us both cups of coffee. As I took my first sip, I sensed a small bit of joy from Dean from across the bunker. A bit of joy reserved for when he packed up weapons. “He’s got the guns out.” I muttered as I left the kitchen, Sam still sleepy behind me, and entered the warrroom. 

Dean was in fact packing his duffle full of weapons. “Alright. What’s up?” Sam asked. 

“I called Cas. He said there's something going down in Missouri.” Dean replied. 

“What kind of something?” I asked. 

“He said he couldn't talk about it over the phone.” 

“Why?” 

Dean then waved off annoyance and impatience at the questions. “Because he is a weird guy, okay? He's a weird, dorky, little guy. But he happens to have an army of Angels behind him, and, even though I hate to say it, if we're gonna take a shot at Metatron, they might be useful.” 

I rolled my eyes, then stood silent as Dean grabbed the First Blade. Sam noticed it as well and gently said, “Well, do you think we need the First Blade? Why don't we just leave that here?” 

“We talked about this, and we decided that-”

I scoffed a little as Sam said, “No. In all fairness, _we_ didn't decide. You did.” 

“Okay, _I_ decided that a hockey stick that can kill anything might come in handy, so sue me.” 

“How many times have we been around this block?” I asked with concern, “Magic that powerful comes at a price, and right now we don't know what that price is.” 

“I’m fine.” Dean lied, “I’m fan-friggin'-tastic.” 

I gave him a look while Sam said, taking his brother's words to heart, “And I'm glad, honestly. I'm not saying we bury the thing. I'm saying we just save it for when we really need it. Crowley. Metatron. The big boss fights. You don't have to have it with you all the time, right? I mean, just leave it. Please.” 

Dean looked at his brother then at me. “Please?” I said gently 

The elder brother then put the blade back to the table, away from the duffle, and said, “No problem.” 

“Thank you.” Sam said to him. We then left the room to gather our own things, Sam promising that we could sleep on the way there. 

…

Surprisingly, the scene of the incident Cas wanted to meet us at was a Colonel Scoop’s ice cream shop. It was strange seeing the place taped off and surrounded by police, since the place was so innocent. As we approached an officer, in our fed threads and badges, she said, “Agents, Spears, Aguilera, and Swift? FBI?” 

We were all a little shocked by that, as Dean said, “Uh-Huh.” 

“Your partner said you'd be along.” 

I smiled politely, and said “thank you.” As she let us in. We soon found Cas speaking with the sheriff. He excused himself and greeted us with worry. 

“Thank you for coming.” He said. 

“Spears, Aguilera, and Swift?” Sam asked him. 

“I've noticed your aliases are usually the names of popular musicians.” I chuckled a bit at that. 

“Wow.” Dean said with some annoyance, 

“Come here. Take a look at this,” Cas said and took us to a gurney. He showed us a body of a woman with her eyes burnt out. “Look. And the other bodies are the same—burnt-out husks.” 

“Angel kills.” I muttered lowly. 

“Okay, so, what is this, some sort of mass smiting?” Dean asked. 

“I don't know what this was. Never seen anything like it. Six humans died here... And one angel.” A small wave of grief came over Cas as he knelt down. My stomach churned as he showed us another mangled body.

“One of yours?” Sam asked, seeing Cas’s reaction. 

He nodded, “Was a good soldier. This attack...I knew he wanted a war, but this...This is abhorrent, even for him.” 

“I’m sorry.” I said. Castiel nodded in response. 

After taking in the scene a bit more, we left for Cas’s commander center. The place was still bustling with angels, pulsing with them as they worked. As we entered, a young female angel with brown hair rose from her seat. 

“Commander.” She said with a wave of purpose and joy. 

“Oh, it’s just creepy.” Dean muttered. 

I cleared my throat, giving him a dirty look, as Castiel introduced us to the angel, who’s name was Hanna. 

“The Winchesters,” she said with some excitement, “I've heard so much about you.” 

Dean smirked, “What can I say? Cas is a fan.” 

“And you.” She turned to me. “A Nephilim helping us...it’s incredible to say the least.” 

“Oh I’m hardly an angel.” I said gently, “but I don’t mind helping you guys out. I mean, Cas has saved me enough times, might as well return the favor.” 

Then another angel came by, taking the box of evidence Cas was carrying. He said, “I’ll start to examine this evidence.” 

“Y-oh, um…” Dean said as he watched him go to another desk. 

Hanna then had a wave of worry, “Sir, this morning, Josiah wasn’t at roll call.” 

“Uh, roll call? You hold roll call?” Sam asked. 

“They like to hear me say their names.” Cas explained. 

“I know a couple of women like that.” 

“Dean.” I chided. 

Despite the small wave of confusion from Hanna, she continued, “No one's seen Josiah since Ezra was murdered. We think that-“ 

“You think Josiah's the killer, that he is the mole?” Sam asked urgently. 

“Well, who else? We searched the grounds, but he's vanished.” 

“Not without wings.” I mused. 

Dean then said, “He's an angel, but he's still got to travel like he's a human, which means walk, drive—means he's gonna leave a trail.” 

Sam then sat down at a nearby desk, and got out his laptop. “Alright. What was his vessel’s name?” 

“Sean Flynn from Omaha.” Cas told us as Sam typed. 

He then turned the screen to us, “This the guy?” 

“Yeah, that’s him.” 

“Alright. Looks like someone just used his credit card at a Gas-n-Sip in Colorado.” 

Dean had a wave of pride, and I smirked as he said, “And that’s how we do things in the pros.” 

Then then other angel called us over, “Commander.” He had waves of concern, “I have something. This phone's memory chip has a video time-stamped just before the explosion.” 

We all watched his screen as he showed us the footage. Someone said, “ _And now the moment you've all been waiting for._ ” 

“ _What_?” Another voice asked. They turned to see a man in a trench coat approach a girl alone. The man then ripped his coat open to reveal a sigil carved in his chest. 

Then a small girl’s voice shouted, “ _No_!”

“ _I do this for Castiel!_ ” He yelled out as he stabbed himself with an angel blade. The video then went dead in a flash of white light. 

Waves of shock were coming from all of us. “What the hell was that?” Dean asked Cas with waves of new anger. 

“I don't know. I didn't—I would _never_ ask an angel to sacrifice himself to kill innocents.” Waves of pure shock came from Cas, “I'm gonna be sick.” 

“Cas, why would an angel blow up a Colonel Scoop's in your name?” Sam asked. 

Hanna then said, “That's not what he was doing. Roll it back.” She ordered the angel. He did and she pointed at the girl. “There. That was an angel—Esther. She's one of Metatron's.” 

“So, this was some kind of hit?” I asked in horror. 

“I don’t know.” Cas replied. 

“Stop saying you don’t know.” Dean said, his anger wafting off him now. 

“You can't think I would allow something like this.” 

“Cas, I know you try to be a good guy, okay? I do. You _try._ But what you got here, this is a a freakin' cult.” 

“Dean.” 

“And the last time you had this kind of juice, you did kill humans and angels, and you did nothing but lie to me and Sam about it the whole damn time!” 

With the raise of Dean’s voice, we had garnered attention from everyone around us. Sam then said, “Can we, uh—can we take this somewhere else, guys?” 

“Come on, the office. Now.” I said, gently guiding them there. Sam started to waft off a little frustration, seeing his brother act this way. 

“Will you stow the baggage, Dean. Look, we've got a case. Let's work it.” 

“Cas, did you know the angel in that video?” I asked him. 

“Yes. His name was Oren. He was a new recruit. He worked in community outreach.” 

“And what does that mean?” Dean asked him. 

“Some of my troops are stationed at a local hospital. They help where they can. Minor miracles—it's nothing that would draw attention.” 

“So, what was he doing in that video, with the stabbing?” Sam asked. 

“The Enochian runes that were carved in his chest—I...I think that they were meant to focus energy. When he stabbed himself, it unleashed all that power.” 

“So, what about the girl? What happened to her?” I asked. 

“If she was the target, if the blast was focused on her, then more likely than not, she-she was atomized. So, what do we do now?” 

Dean was still pissed off. “Well, you don't do jack. We will head to the hospital, see if we can find somebody who knew this...walking nuke.” 

“Hold on. These are my people. I can help.” 

“Well, that's sort of the problem. I mean, the Manson girls aren't gonna give us a straight answer with Charlie in the room, so just hang back.” 

I gave Dean a look. Cas wasn’t lying about this, he was as distressed about it as the rest of us. “So, I should just sit here?” He asked, completely pissed. 

“Pretty much.” Dean replied. 

“No. If you don't want my help, then I will follow Josiah's trail to Colorado. I have to do something, Dean.” 

After a moment, Dean decided, “alright, fine. But ESP and Sam are coming with you.” 

“What?” Sam and I asked at the same time. 

“Because you don’t trust me?” Cas asked him, anger wafting off as well as worry. 

“To help.” Cas and Sam exchanged a look as I stared at Dean a moment perplexed. Then we heard incessant knocking on the glass door. Sandriel was behind it. 

“Sandy?” I said and let him in. He was wafting off panic. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s...it’s Chadwick. I got a message from him.” He handed me a little flip phone with an encrypted message. 

It said for Sandy to find me and meet at a location specified by some coordinates. “That’s it? Why didn’t Josephine call?” 

“I don’t know, but...she said that we should head there together, that you need me.” 

“The prophet-former angel told you?” Dean asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Well, that doesn’t sound sketchy at all.” 

“Dean.” I said, “they could be in trouble.” I looked the coordinates up on my phone. “They’re on the way to Colorado. You boys want to drop us off?” 

“You sure?” Sam asked, getting worried. “It could be dangerous.” 

I nodded. “Sandy’s tougher than he looks. And I’ll be fine. Let’s get changed and go.” 

…

We were heading straight to the coordinates. Sam was driving the four of us in Cas’s Pimpmobile, and we had just finished telling Cas how everything went down with the Knight of Hell. “Abaddon is dead.” 

“And then some.” Sam replied. 

“Oh, no.” 

“Okay. Um...Ominous.” He said dryly. 

“What is it Cas?” I asked him. 

“Does Dean seem different to you?” 

I sighed. “Yeah. He has...it’s so strange.” 

“Lately,” Sam told him, “he seems to be...amped up—you know, on edge.” 

“Effects of the mark?” Cas asked. 

“What else?” 

“He does seem angry. I mean, he's always a little angry, but now it seems like...more. I think a part of him actually believed that I ordered those angels to, you know...Sam, you don't, do you?” 

“No, man.” 

“None of us do.” I said firmly, with Sandy agreeing fully. 

“Cas, listen.” Sam finally told him gently. “You got a weird thing going on back there. Those other angels, the way they stare at you, I-it's like you're part rock star, part L. Ron.” 

“They've put their faith in me.” Cas said. 

“And maybe that's the problem. I mean, people have been doing messed up crap in the name of faith—in the name of God—since forever.” 

“Well...I'm not trying to...play God. I'm just trying to get my people home.” 

“Maybe home is overrated.” Sandy suddenly said, staring out the window. 

“What do you mean?” I asked, both Sam and Cas were listening carefully. 

“I hadn’t been home in at least a few centuries. Every once in a while before that. Home isn’t necessarily a place...it’s your family. I understand bringing all of us together brother but, you don’t need a single place to do so.” 

Cas nodded in thought about it and I smiled. “You were always so insightful.” A small wave of pride came from the angel next to me. 

An hour later, we had reached a small town where the coordinates would lead us down a street in the early morning. It was time for Sam, Cas, and I to part ways. 

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay with you on this?” Sam asked me. We were standing aside to say goodbye, the two angels with us conferring out of earshot. “You might need backup.” 

“I have an _actual_ angel with me. I’ll be okay.” Sam looked away, worry wafting off him. “Samuel. Everything will be fine. Once it’s done, I’ll head back to the bunker where it’s safe okay? I promise.” 

He sighed then pulled me into a hug. I stayed in his arms a few moments, running my fingers in his hair gently, trying everything I could to assure him that everything would be alright. “I love you, let me know when you’re done and safe okay?” He asked, 

“Of course. I love you too.” I pulled back and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, we broke apart and I walked towards Cas and Sandy. 

“Ready?” He asked. 

“Yep.” 

Cas then pulled out something it was an angel blade. “Here. Spare one, in case something happens.” 

“Thanks Cas, though I don’t think I’ll need it.” 

“Alright, Little Bird, let’s go.” We said a quick goodbye to Cas and Sam, and walked off towards the coordinates. The two of us walked down the street to find the building that was centered on the numbers. “That boy…” Sandriel started, “he loves you.” 

I smiled at that. “Yes, and I love him too. Why do you ask?” 

He smiled himself as we circled the old building. I used my senses to try and find anyone who could be a threat. “Just making an observation. And I also know you had lost someone recently.” 

My smile disappeared as I stopped. “Yeah...it was Jackson.” 

He turned and stared at me in shock. “Jackson? But he-“ 

“Died? No…” there was no bitterness or anger in my voice. Just sadness, “He was possessed by the demon who I _thought_ killed him. He was working with Abaddon, so we crossed paths with him. They’re both dead now. Finally.” 

“I’m so sorry. I know how much he meant to you.” 

As he turned to continue, I didn’t budge, anger now surfacing. “Why didn’t you come?” 

“What?” He asked turning back to me. 

“When I prayed to all of you that night. When I held Jackson in my arms...when he was dying on the side of that _godforsaken_ road, why didn’t any of you show up?” 

Guilt and shame came from him, still he looked me in the eyes. “That night...when you went on that demon hunt, was the night that Josephine lost her grace.” 

“What?” All anger disappeared from me in an instant at the shock. 

“We were meeting with some other angels. Lucifer had just been cast back into the cage, along with Michael. This...this man was with them. He wasn’t good. He wanted to take all of our graces, turn us human. The angels who were with him...they grabbed us. Chadwick and I had to kill them but...Josephine lost her grace in the process. In the chaos...we couldn’t hear your prayers. On behalf of them...we all are truly, truly sorry for what happened.” 

“Why didn’t you reach out to me?” 

He frowned. “When you sent that message that you didn’t want to see us again, we figured that you meant it. That you needed your space. And we needed to protect Josephine. Nothing can even begin to...there’s nothing _I_ can say that could make it up to you.” 

I looked away and sighed. “I know...but thank you for telling me.” I started walking again. “Let’s get moving.” 

“Wait.” I stopped. “Is there, anyway that we could do to earn forgiveness?” 

I smiled softly. “I’m afraid that you earned that forgiveness a long time ago. And that I should of pulled my head out of my ass sooner.” We both chuckled. “Yeah...I forgive you. Now let’s find them.” 

“Yeah.” He said with a nod. We turned down a long alleyway. As we walked down, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Any good emotions from the two of us were gone as I saw someone stand on one side of the alley while I sensed a pair of eyes on us from the other. 

As we made it to the center, I could tell they were angels. “Sandy.” I said lowly. We both pulled out angel blades. “I need you to cover me.” 

“Always, Little Bird.” Then he called out. “We’ll come on you cowards. See if you can beat the followers of Gabriel!”

They ran on us from both sides. I brace myself as the one ahead of us came barreling through, anger and anticipation came from him. The angels charged at us and met with blades of their own. I swiped left and dodged at the man before me. Trying to be quicker than the large vessel. 

I stepped to one side, trying to find an opening to maim him, but he quickly grabbed my arm. The blade fell from my hand but I kicked him in the groin causing pain as I slipped from him. 

I turned to Sandy, ready to get him out, just in time to see the other angel get an upper hand on him. “No!” I screamed as I watched the blade plunge into his chest. I saw his body glow brightly as he was burned out. I was out cold before I even hit the ground. 

…

I woke with my wrists burning in pain and ringing in my ears. Squeezing my eyes shut a moment, the smell of rust and rot hitting me. I groaned as my eyes steadily opened. I was in the center of a concrete room, as if I was in a basement, hanging by my wrists in shackles on the end of a chain. A metal door in front of me was the only thing in my sight. 

I struggled against the shackles a moment, then it all came back to me. “Sandy.” I said as a few tears fell down my face. I fought to keep myself from sobbing for my old friend, knowing full well that I was kidnapped. 

I breathed deeply, fighting the tears, as I looked around, looking for any way out. As far as I knew, all my weapons were gone, even my jacket was taken off my and discarded to the side of the room. I was just standing in my jeans and tank top. With the buzzing in my ear, I was more confused than ever. _Who the hell would go through that much trouble to take me._ Then I realized it. They probably wanted information on the people I associated with. Castiel, Dean, and Sam. 

I decided then and there I would give them nothing, absolutely _nothing_. I had to protect what family I had left. Which meant that I could die because of it. _Better to die bravely, protecting the people I love, than to live as a traitor,_ I thought. Still, I had to fight my way out. I knew it would be the only way I would see out of the place. 

I fought the chains more, but found they wouldn’t budge. My arms were tired from hanging there, even more so from the struggling. Footsteps then announced a presence outside of the room. I could finally meet my captors. Coldness crossed my face as I sense who was behind the locked door. 

It opened and revealed Metatron himself. “And there is our damsel. Lovely to see you again. Enjoying your stay?” He said waving off pride and anticipation. 

“Screw you.” I said with bite. 

“Now, now...wouldn’t want to anger me.” He said with a wicked smile. He dropped an angel blade from his sleeve, walking closer to me. “Wouldn’t want to damage that pretty face of yours now do we?” 

“Screw you.” 

“Tsk.” Then he ran the tip of the blade down my right arm. I screamed from the shock and sudden pain, the metal burning down my flesh and warm blood now dripping from the shallow wound. “Now...tell me everything.” 

“Screw. You.” I gritted and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the next blow. 

He grabbed my throat. “Enough. Tell me about the Winchesters. Tell me about dear, old Castiel, and I’ll let you leave. I’ll even hand deliver you to your boyfriend myself. Doesn’t that sound nice?” 

I spat in his face. “Go to hell!” 

He dragged the tip of the blade down my other arm. I screamed and shook a moment, before he said, “I see your testing my patience. So...I’ll tell you this. _No one_ will find you.” I kept my eyes on the ground, keeping my face as cold as possible so he wouldn’t get any satisfaction of my shock. “Your dear Sam...he can’t save you. Can’t find you. Really...a damsel without her knight in shining...flannel.” He chuckled to himself. “And Dean. Your beloved, practically your older brother, yes? He’s spiraling isn’t he? He won’t care about finding you, so long as it keeps him from finding me. And Castiel.” He pulled my hair to have me look up at him. “He cares for you...you’re friends. As thick as thieves. You must know what he’s planning. Care to tell me?” I stayed quiet, gritting my teeth down hard. “You’ll break sooner or later. It’s in the script.” 

He then let go of me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as he slowly circled behind me, waving off anticipation and anger. “Your heroes can’t save you pet, only I can. So...tell me something, anything, and we won’t hurt you.” 

I said nothing. Then I sensed another presence behind the door. One that was familiar. My heart dropped as Gadreel burst into the room. “Metatron I need-“ 

As soon as our eyes met, he stopped talking. Shock came over him as well as anger once he saw who Metatron was torturing. “Gadreel!” He said and came back around to my eyesight. “Glad you could make it. Help me make this girl understand her part. She’s seems to have forgotten her lines.” 

“Metatron you never said you would take-“ 

“I told you. We needed leverage. Now we have it. And I don’t need her ruining the plan with her lie detecting abilities.” I glared at Gadreel, he must have told the angel. “Just thought we could get something more out of her.” He came up to my left side. “Think she’ll talk?” 

Gadreel then avoided my eyes, shame came over him, “she is strong. From Sam Winchester’s eyes, he see’s her as a force to be reckoned with, but...I do not know how well she takes to torture. Are you sure you must harm her?” 

“None will come to her if she just talks!” He slice with the blade along my ribs. I screamed even louder than before. He then went to the other side of me. “Tell me. Where is Castiel? The Winchesters?” 

I was breathing hard, but knew my promise. I looked straight at Gadreel in my anger, “screw you.” 

The angel had enough of me. But instead of another slice or the killing blow like I had expected, he did something I didn’t anticipate. With the snap of his fingers, Pain shot through me as I screamed again, tears streaming down my face. My right ankle throbbed through me as the bones were shifted and broken. Metatron just laughed. 

“Give her some time to stew. It’s almost showtime.” Metatron left the room, with Gadreel staring at me in horror. “Gadreel!” He called and the other angel left. 

The pain almost made me beg for him to come back. But I breathed hard and put all of my weight on the leg that wasn’t broken. I cried, but kept myself from sobbing. I knew this wouldn’t be the last of the torture, hell my stint with it must had been only getting started. 

I only hoped that the boys would find me. As I sat with the pain and my grace fought to heal the long cuts, slowed down by the fact that the wounds were made with an angel blade, I made myself think of Sam and Dean. 

I thought back to hanging out in the Impala. Listening to Dean’s music and occasional sing along of his cassette tape collection. Rolling down all the windows and being carefree on the open road. I thought back to the utter bliss I felt the first night I was with Sam, and how I was over joyed to hear that he had feelings for me too. I thought back to when Dean and I went matress shopping for the first time together, laughing and enjoying ourselves without thinking about a damn case. 

All of those good memories made the pain a little less unbearable. Then the door burst open again. Another angel came in with a cart and a laptop. The vessel was of a young man in glasses and business attire. He looked up at me terrified, and opened the laptop up. “Metatron wanted you to see this.” 

He turned it on, and I saw two windows. One of Metatron sitting down, and other other Castiel, Sam, and Dean approach the camera. I was watching a meeting. “Sam! Dean!” 

“They can’t hear you.” The angel said. “They won’t see you either. Just watch and it will be over soon.” 

“Castiel. Bet you're not happy to see me.” Metatron said with a smile. 

“Is anyone ever?” Dean asked snarkily. A few more tears came down my face as I was comforted by his voice.

“Dean, always with the B-grade '80s-action-movie wit.” Metatron replied. 

“What do you want, Metatron?” Sam asked angrily. I knew he was worried just by the look of him. It made me long to be in his arms once again, and I was terrified that this would be the last time I would see them all together. 

“Just to tell ass-tiel, there, that I'm still alive. His _bomber_ failed.” 

“My bomber?” Castiel asked him. I was just as perplexed. 

“The crazy guy. Big knife. _Kablooey_. I'm fine, thanks for asking, but Gadreel is wounded, and Tyrus—R.I.P. His followers are not your biggest fans, by the way. They've all come over to my team.” He had to be lying. I knew Castiel, he would never have done this. _It’s all a ploy._

“I didn't send anyone to kill you.” 

“Oh, stop lying, Castiel.” 

“He’s not lying!” I shouted out. The angel in front of me watching just frowned. 

“Who are you to lecture me on lying? Your deception led to the fall.” 

“I did what I had to do.” Metatron said, “I have always done what I have to do, for God _and_ for the angels.” 

“Sure. Yeah, you're mother Teresa with neck beard.” Dean said. I would have laughed if not for the incredible amount of pain I was in. 

“What I did was neither good nor bad. It was _necessary_ —a small hardship to make us all stronger, to make us a family again.” 

Sam then said angrily, “Yeah, except for the angels you had Gadreel kill.” 

“Okay, yes. Maybe I got a little carried away _at first_ , but those days are over. A near-death experience makes you re-evaluate. So, one time only, I'm offering amnesty. Every angel, no matter what their sin, may join me and return to heaven. I will be their God, and they can be my heavenly host.” That was it. Metatron was making a play for _all_ of the angels following Castiel. And from the faces of his followers, I wasn’t sure if Cas could win this. 

“Why would we follow you?” Hanna asked with scrutiny. 

“Well, look around. You've seen earth. You've had a taste of free will. I got to ask you—do you like it? I mean, the way you've flocked off to follow Castiel tells me you _need_ to follow someone. It's in your DNA. But Cas—he's not what you think he is. He sends angels out to die. Have you told them about your stolen _Grace,_ Castiel?” My jaw dropped. “How it's fading away, and when it burns out, so will you?” Castiel looked away in shame. 

“Cas.” I whispered sadly. Wishing that I could help.

“So...No, then.” Metatron continued, “I'm not the best, but I'm the best you've got. You want to stay with Castiel, fine, but he's playing you, because at the end of the day, the only thing he cares about is himself, the Hardy Boys there and that half-baked _nephilim_ girl who didn’t even show up. You've got a choice to make. Make the right one.” 

The screen went dark as I sat with what I saw. The angel then closed the laptop and left the room again. Tears fell from my cheeks as I slumped down. _I’m not leaving this place am I?_ I asked myself. _If I die here...I’m going to make it count. I’ll protect my boys, even if it kills me._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major cliff hanger I know! Stay tuned for Do You Believe in Miracles. Also, comments and kudos are highly appreciated! I love interacting with you guys!


	23. Do you Believe in Miracles?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I escape from the clutches of Metatron from an unlikely ally, and Dean finally heads him off. But not all is as it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well...it’s the last chapter of part 3. Damn! That took a while. Still, I’m so proud of this story and have been working hard on part 4. Will be taking a break from posting to finish part four for y’all, and will be getting to it soon. Anyways, this part of the story! Warning: I go into detail with blood and cuts for the first few scenes, so if that is triggering, I suggest avoiding reading the section that I will highlight with Asterixs (*). Finally will resolve that cliff hanger for y’all and set up for the next season. I can’t wait for y’all to read this cause this was one of my favorite episodes to write. It’s so sad and angsty and fun. Well, I’ll shut up so you can get to reading. Enjoy!-Indio 
> 
> PS: don’t forget y’all’s tissues.

_“She never seemed shattered; to me, she was a breathtaking mosaic of the battles she’s won.”_ —Matt Baker 

  
  
  


Hours after watching that whole play Metatron made for Cas’s angel army, which I only hoped they saw through as much as I did, I woke to the door opening. 

I had accepted that I would not say a word about Cas, or Dean, or Sam. Especially Sam. I would endure for them. Fight for them, die if I had to. I didn’t like that part much either, but I knew what had to be done. I had to protect them. There was no choice about it. 

As the door opened, another angel walked in. One wearing an all black suit, with a dark beard and gelled hair. I breathed in and out steadily, even after seeing a tray of torture instruments follow him in, pushed in my the scared angel from earlier. 

“Hello.” He said to me simply. “My name is Deriel. I’m here to ask you some questions.” The smaller angel scurried off and closed the door quickly. I stayed quiet, thinking back to the Impala. To the sweet memories of the boys. To _my_ boys. To the bliss. “Any words before we begin?” 

I opened my eyes and looked into his brown ones, they were cold and unmoving as I sensed his indifference. “I’m not telling you a damned thing,” I said through my pain. 

With that, he only smirked and began. 

…

My head hung low and my throat was sore from screaming. My wrists were aching from the shackles and my ankle was still throbbing from the misplaced bones. My skin was littered in various healing cuts. I was exhausted, and went in and out of consciousness for the most part. 

Thankfully, in times of being away from there, I was with Sam and Dean. I was with Bobby and Jackson and Charlie. I was with my parents. The people I loved. I was on the beach or at a park. I was at peace in those moments, even when my body was battered and broken. 

Unfortunately, that peace was gone as soon Metatron returned. “Nothing,” He said as he stood in front of me. “You have said nothing. Got to say, I’m impressed. But I suppose I have to find some use for you after all.” 

“If you want to kill me, do it already.” I said groggily, trying to wake myself up, wishing to face my death head on. 

He laughed at that. “No...not yet pet.” Then the smaller angel with glasses came in, with a video camera. “Alright!” He said with the clap of his hands. “Our starlet is ready. And...action.”   
  


* The angel turned on the camera and went closer to me, showcasing the damage. Blood was caked on my face from the cuts on my temple and lip, which had been moved and disturbed by my tears from my bruised up nose and eyes. My top and jeans were ripped up and stained with my blood. I knew it would be disturbingly anyone who would see me like this. Still, I kept a cold face, keeping myself from groaning or anything. I had quickly put two and two together; Metatron was sending a message to the boys. 

*

“Now, dear, smile for the camera.” The angel backed up then and Metatron addressed it. “Now boys...I know what you're thinking. I crossed a line taking your little pet. But hear me out...I know your planning on trying to kill me. So. Fair trade. The First Blade for her. I’ll deliver her to you, on the promise that you will give me the blade, if not...well, she seems rather too pretty to die, don’t you think? You have forty eight hours.” The camera was turned off. He turned to me. “Sorry your stay won’t be much longer, it was lovely having you here.” 

The angels left the room, and I burst into tears as the realization dawned on me that I was probably going to die. I knew Dean. He wouldn’t let anyone have the First Blade. No one. And I doubted that he would trade it for me. I knew that, and I was hurt. The man that I saw as the older brother I never asked for, would be forced to let me die because of some curse. For the first time since I woke up in that room, I was utterly hopeless. 

Not long later, I sensed someone. Someone I never thought I would ever see again. Gadreel came into the room quietly, wafting off determination and hope. I fought the chains again as he moved towards me out of fear. I had no clue what he was about to do. “Shh. Shh. Little one. Let me help you.” 

“What? No...no! Don’t kill me.” I said, begging for the first time, Kevin’s husk of a body flashing in my mind. 

He pressed his hand to my scratched up and bloody cheek. “I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to save you.” He then wrapped a strong arm around my middle and used his other hand to unlock the chains that bound my wrists. I would have dropped to the floor if Gadreel hadn’t caught me, “there. There.” 

I weakly rubbed my wrists as I looked up at him, relief wafting off. “Why are you helping me?” 

“Because it’s the honorable thing to do…” he lied. I would have asked if not for his sudden urgency. Soon enough, he lifted me off the ground and grabbed my jacket, covering me. 

He quickly got me out of the room and down several winding halls. I wrapped my arms around Gadreel’s neck, trying to stay upright, completely shocked at what was happening. Then I sensed another angel. “Someone is up ahead,” I whispered instinctively. “Hide.” 

Gadreel found a dark alcove and hid us there a few moments. After waiting for the other angel to pass, I nodded quietly, saying it was alright to go. 

Thankfully my grace was working to heal the wounds, making the smaller cuts disappear with every passing hour, but my ankle and the deeper cuts were still stinging with every step he carried me. 

As soon as we got outside, I breathed a sigh of relief. Gadreel wafted off some panic, but quickly got me to a car. It was a simple station wagon, but he got me into the front seat easily. He ran around and got in the driver’s seat, making sure I had a seatbelt on before taking off. 

“Once I get you somewhere safe, I can use my grace to heal you. If I use it now and they look for me, it could be a beacon to them. And they will find us.” 

“They’ll kill us.” I said as I adjusted uncomfortably. Gadreel then pulled a blanket from the backseat and gave it to me. I slowly covered my legs as my broken ankle still throbbed. “Where are you taking me?” 

“Where do you think is best?” 

“Home.” I said getting comfortable. “Take me home.” He stepped on the gas more as I knew that he knew exactly what I was talking about. I fell to sleep in a matter of minutes on the familiar lull of the road. 

I woke again much later. It was still dark out and Gadreel was driving steadily on a country back road. “How much longer?” I asked, my voice still hoarse and my body aching. 

“We’ll make it in a few more hours. Thankfully they haven’t noticed our leavings yet.” 

I nodded. “Good.” I sat there a few moments in silence. I was more confused than ever. This angel, who had done both good and bad in my life that past year, saved me. I didn’t know whether to punch him or to thank him. “Why?” I asked instead. 

“What?” He asked. “Why what?” 

I turned to look at him, still careful not to do any sharp movements because of my wounds and my sore muscles. My grace had done more work to my battered body, but I was still in a lot of pain. “Why did you go into my head?” 

A wave of shame came over the angel. “In heaven, after...after Adam and Eve were banished from Eden, I was locked away. Tortured for thousands of years for one mistake. I had little comforts. So when I was freed. I didn’t know anything. Then I met you.” I listened carefully. “You were this—this woman who seemed to be impossible. You shouldn’t exist, and yet you do. You are part angel and-and you hold a soul that is so remarkable, I saw it the moment I met you, and I was enamored. You were so different from any human that I have ever met. Then you asked for my help. And I obliged in hope to get to know you. 

“Once...once I saw the memories and mind of Sam Winchester, I was even more...infatuated with you. He truly loves you, and...seeing you reciprocate that affection and love made me long for it. I had no way of speaking with you myself without revealing who I was, and Dean. Dean wanted to protect you. So I did what I could. I went into your dreams. I wanted to become your friend. And I realize now how wrong it all was, and how much I wish I could change it. So...I hope to make things right by you again. I hope to earn my honor back, and perhaps...to earn your friendship once more.” 

I sighed after he finished speaking. “You know…” I said to him after thinking hard about it, “if you just said so...if you said who you were from the beginning, and maybe have been more honest with all of us, we could have helped you. Like you helped us. You did save Sam, and now you’ve saved me...maybe after this, you can make it up to us.” 

A wave of relief came from him, “I’d like that very much, Little one.” I nodded and closed my eyes again, falling to unconsciousness again. 

…

“We’re here.” Gadreel said gently, waking me from my restless sleep. It was early morning. I looked up through the windshield to see the entrance of the bunker’s garage, as well as the Impala parked up front. We moved past it as he went inside. 

My heart beat faster knowing I was finally home. I wanted to scramble out of the car and run inside to find Sam. I wanted to curl up in his arms in one of our beds and rest under the covers. To forget everything that had happened the twenty four hours before. I wanted to forget, but my damned leg wouldn’t let me. 

After parking in the familiar place, Gadreel got out of the car and went to my side. I threw the blanket off me, despite how cold I was, and let Gadreel help me out. I limped a few feet for him to close the door behind me. As I took another painful step, I winced again. “You’ll have to carry me inside. I’m so tired.” I told him. 

He quickly picked me up with ease. He was wafting off worry and fear as he walked towards the entrance of the rest of the bunker. “You’re worried.” I said simply. 

“You know them, they might wish to kill me.” 

“I won’t let that happen.” I said firmly. As soon as I sensed the boys and Cas, I knew what happened. The defeat and worry from them told me he lost his army, and I could tell they were beginning to panic that I was missing. 

Gadreel carried me into the war room, where Sam was entering. “Guys!” He called out. 

“Sam.” I said as he rushed to me. 

Both Dean and Cas rushed out too as Gadreel said, “she’s hurt, but safe.” Sam took me from the angels arms terrified. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly, never wanting to let go again. 

“What the hell happened?” He asked me. Then looked to Gadreel in pure anger and confusion. 

“I'm not here to fight.” Gadreel told them, turning to Cas. “I thought about what you said. You're right. Metatron, he's...something needs to be done.” 

“And we should trust you why?” Sam asked as he put me down in a chair gently. I winced and fought tears as he checked me out. First seeing my heavily bruised wrists and my bloody face. 

“Because he saved my life.” I said firmly. “Metatron had me. I didn’t tell him a damn thing. I swear.” My voice then shook as I teared up. 

“And Because I can give him to you.” Gadreel said with determination. “I know where Metatron is. I know everything. I know the bombers.” A wave of grief came from him and Cas. “They were _his_ agents, not yours. You don't trust me, fine. I understand. I've...made mistakes. But haven't you? Haven't we all? At least give me a chance.” 

Dean looked to me, silently asking if I was alright, and I nodded. He then looked to his brother. Sam and Dean wafted off many things. Both had anger, but Dean’s...Dean’s scared the living shit out of me. But the wave of determination told me that maybe he believed Gadreel. 

We all watched intently as Dean stepped towards Gadreel and extended his left hand. A wave of hope came from Gadreel as he grasped it, but then I saw the pure hot anger in Dean. 

“Dean don’t!” I shouted as he took out the first blade and slashed Gadreel across the chest. Sam and Cas lept up onto Dean, holding him back from killing Gadreel all together. I stood up, almost forgetting about my broken ankle in my panic, watching the scene. 

Gadreel had fallen heavily onto the ground, but his waves were strong, he was still alive as Sam pushed Dean back. I limped to the wounded angel, trying to help, his grace glowing and fading. Kneeling down, I watched as Dean then wrangled out of their grasp, and Sam stood in front of him with an extended hand. 

“Drop the blade, Dean.” Sam said firmly. 

“Move.” 

“Dean. Look at me.” I moved my hand over Gadreel’s wound, but he simply took my hand and shook his head. 

“You're not strong enough yet…” he whispered. 

“Sam! Move!” Cas and Sam tackled Dean again, with Sam grabbing at the hand that held the blade.

“Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!” He shouted. 

The finally got it out of Dean’s hand and he immediately calmed a little, but it wasn’t for long. He was pissed. Cas grabbed him and practically dragged him out of the room. Sam then went to me. “Stay here.” I ordered the angel, and threw my arm over Sam’s shoulders. 

I refused to let him carry me and demanded that he take me to where Cas took Dean. We found them in the dungeon with Dean pissed. I leaned against Sam as Dean practically growled, “The hell if you think I'm riding the pine on this one, guys.” 

“Something is wrong with you, Dean.” Sam said firmly, “And until we figure out what, this is where you have to stay.” 

“And you three are gonna do what? Take on Metatron yourselves? That's smart. Oh, no, wait. No, you-you lost your Angel army.” He said pointing at Cas. Then he motioned at me, “you just got back from hell with a broken leg, And you,” he said to Sam, “now you're trying to lock up the _one_ guy who has a shot at killing the son of a bitch! Hell of a plan, fellas!” 

“Dean...you're scaring the hell out of us.” I said, “You just tried to kill the guy who saved my life.” 

“Yeah, well!” We then all turned and left the dungeon, locking Dean in behind us. “Look, hey, guys. Sam. Sammy!” He called out. 

I limped away with Sam supporting me, but once we got out to the hall, Sam picked me up easily. I was silently grateful, despite my stubbornness, as I was still exhausted. In the library, Sam had me sit down and Cas looked me over, lifting my leg to examine it. “How bad is it?” He asked. Sam ran off to gather some things to clean me up. 

“Pretty bad.” I winced again, “He snapped his fingers and snapped my ankle.” Cas then put a hand over my ankle. “Cas no, your grace.” Still he ignored me and healed it anyway. It was uncomfortable at first, he had to shift some of the bones, but soon enough the pain was gone and my ankle felt normal again. “Thank you.” 

Sam then returned with a bowl of water and some rags. He looked down at me relieved and moved the hair out of my face. He smiled a little, knowing I was alright. “I’m sorry.” He said with new guilt, “I should of been there-“ 

“Sam. Don’t. It was a trap, we walked right into it. It’s not your fault.” Then my face fell as I put my foot on the floor. 

“What happened?” Cas asked me as Sam took a wet clothe and began to clean my face up. 

“Sandriel…” I pressed my palm to my mouth as I let it hit me. Sam stopped. “Sandriel is dead.” I muttered out, letting some tears fall. Sam pressed a hand to my shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry.” Sam said. Sadness filled the room as I sat with my grief and he helped clean me up and bandaged some of my wounds. We were really outnumbered now. 

Cas then got out a lock box, knowing that we had to put the blade somewhere safe. He placed it in the box as we tried to figure out what to do. “Sam.” Cas said as they closed it. 

“Yeah?” He said as he cleaned up my wrists carefully. 

“Dean...wasn't wrong. My followers have abandoned us.” 

I looked up at him sadly, then Sam replied, “Yeah, and Gadreel says he can help us. From where I sit, that's more than an even trade.” 

I then thought of Gadreel, and looked over in his direction, only to see a pool of blood. I stood up, a little unbalanced but suddenly panicked. We all looked at each other and quickly left for the garage. The car that Gadreel drove me in was gone, but we knew he couldn’t have gone far with how injured he was. So we all jumped into the Pimpmobile and started looking for him. 

As we looked for the angel, buzzing came into my ears again, strong ones from Angel radio. Cas looked at me from the front seat and we both listened it. Metatron’s voice came on, “I'd like to take a moment to welcome you all back. I want you to know how moved I am that you've accepted me as your new God.” I gritted my teeth at that. “My heart, as they say, is full, which is why I want to share some wonderful news with you. I'm going on a short trip. Heaven's door will be temporarily closed pending my return, but rest assured all will be explained. And it will be...Glorious.” 

The radio turned off, and Cas and I exchanged a worried look. Then we found Gadreel. He was in a field laying in the grass, his car not far from him, pain was all I could feel from him as his chest was still bleeding. 

We all rushed to him, and he panicked. “Please. I'll leave you alone, I swear.” 

“We’re not here to hurt you.” I told him as Cas moved towards him. 

“No. Your grace. Healing me will only weaken you.” Cas didn’t even hesitate, he moved his hand and healed up Gadreel quickly. “Did you hear him?” 

I nodded, as Cas replied, “Metatron. Yes. Where is he going? What does he want?” 

“I’m afraid...humanity.” 

Sam and I exchanged a look. “Come back with us and we’ll figure it out.” 

We helped him up and took him back to the Pimpmobile. Castiel was weaker, but determination wafted off him. We all had to fight this, despite his burning out grace. 

Sam and I sat up front while the angels sat in the backseat. As we drove back home, worry settled in the car from all four of us. The only thing that soothed it for me, was that Dean was locked up and safe. 

…

When we returned back in the bunker, I was still exhausted and my body was sore, but I knew this fight wasn’t over. As the four of us walked into the library, panic came over us. “Oh, no,” Sam said as he found the locked box that held the blade was gone. 

“What’s that smell?” Gadreel asked. 

“Sulfur.” I said when I recognized it. The place reeked of it. Sam wafted off panic and anger. I pressed a gentle hand and used my senses to search the place. But I couldn’t sense Dean. Cas then went off to search for him. 

When he returned, he only confirmed it. We began speculating what had happened as Sam sat on the table and called Dean, but only got his voice mail, “Dean, pick up the phone. Call me back. I'm not kidding, all right? Don't do this. Not like this.” 

“Are you sure it was Crowley?” Cas asked us. 

“Who else would he summon? I mean, he and Crowley have been bromancing over the Blade ever since Dean got the mark.” 

“The mark?” Gadreel asked. 

“The Mark of Cain.” Cas explained to him. 

Surprise came over him, then a bit of hope, “So that's what Dean cut me with—the First Blade. In a way, that could be useful.” 

“What?” I asked. 

“Well, Metatron is more powerful than ever, but if Dean has the First Blade and the mark, that might give us our best chance.” 

Sam wasn’t sure about it either, he stood as he said, “You're joking, right? An hour ago, we were ready to throw Dean into a padded cell, and now you say he's our best chance?” 

“Hear him out, Sam.” Cas said. 

Anger came over him, “Oh, right. Excuse me. Sorry, guys. Uh, sorry I'm a little less than eager to hear that our _best chance_ is-is arming the warhead and hoping it hits the mark. This is not a bomb we're talking about. This is my brother.” 

“Sam, we know.” I said gently. 

“And your brother would not be in this alone.” Gadreel said firmly, “We can help.” 

“How?” He asked. 

“I believe Metatron has found a way to tap into the Angel tablet, harnessing its power to give him powers equivalent to-“ 

“God, right?” I asked, “I mean, that's what this is all about, isn't it? Metatron wants to be God.” Gadreel nodded in response. 

Defeat came from both of us for a moment, “Great, well, that basically makes him unstoppable.” 

“Not if we can break the connection between Metatron and the tablet.” Gadreel said, “That would make him just an ordinary Angel.” 

I nodded, then asked, “Where's the tablet?” 

“Metatron’s office.” 

“In heaven?” Sam asked. 

“I can get us to the door.” 

“And then what? I mean, why would they let you in? If Metatron's number two shows up with heaven's most wanted,” Sam said motioning to Cas, “the gig is up.” 

“Sam we have to try.” Cas reasoned. 

He looked down at me and thought about it for a moment. “It’s worth a shot,” he said, “In the meantime, we can try and track down Dean. He’ll be looking for Metatron.” 

“And he’s on earth. You could find him.” Gadreel said to us. 

“Why don’t you start looking for him, I’ll send them off.” I told Sam. 

“Yeah,” he said and walked out of the room. The angels then headed towards the staircase. 

“Do everything you can to get the tablet. And come back alright?” I said as they headed up a few steps, though Gadreel paused as I said, “both of you.” 

After a moment, he had a wave of hope and guilt, “I wanted…” he started, “I wanted to apologize to you. For everything that I’ve done. And I hope that I could make it up to you.” 

I smiled gently, “you already did. You saved my life remember? Just be careful out there alright?” 

He nodded with a wave of acceptance. “You as well Little One.” We shared a nod and he left the bunker. I hoped that he would return and that maybe, we could all be friends. 

I went back into the library to see Sam sitting at his laptop, trying to find any sign of Dean or Metatron. The room around me had finally gotten quiet. The adrenaline was gone, and I had grown exhausted from all that had happened before. 

It all hit me again. Sandy died for me. And I was tortured for hours, refusing to answer any of their questions. I swayed a little at the memories of screaming from it. Bearing the pain inflicted on my body. From my skin getting sliced to my ankle being broken, I hadn’t even processed all that had been done to me both mind and body. 

I twisted the ring on my finger as I sat down in front of Sam, waiting for any finding. I barely felt his eyes on me. “Are you okay?” He asked. 

I shook my head. “How am I supposed to be?” 

Worry washed over him. He got up from his seat, forgetting the laptop, and went over to me. He knelt down and took my hands gently. I was still pretty cut up. The bandages helped, but I was still in my bloodstained clothes and the bruises from the shackles were still there. He looked down at them with anger and pure worry for me. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” 

I gritted my teeth. “I don’t even know how to begin.” Tears brimmed my eyes as flashes came into my mind of it all. “It was awful, Sam. It was awful.” 

I began to really cry as he pulled me into his arms, worry and protectiveness washed over him as he held me. I hardly cared as I let all of the memories go through me like a freaking freight train. 

Sam was just there for me, comforting me in every way he could as I cried. Eventually I calmed down, and asked Sam about his brother. I knew time was of the essence with it, and that Sam was worried for his brother and how dangerous he had become. 

So he finished the search and found a woman who seemed to be brought back from the dead. By Metatron himself. So I got out of the bloody clothes and we headed straight there, thinking we could find Dean. 

…

I was glad the woman didn’t seem to mind that I was still bandaged up. I hid the gauze on my neck with my jack pretty well, but I still had a few strips on my face. Once we finished speaking with the lady Metatron saved, and she left, but we lingered, knowing Dean would track her down here eventually.We didn’t have to wait long as Dean pulled up with the Impala, with Crowley in the front seat. 

Sam wafted off some annoyance as Dean emerged from the car and walked straight to us, “I guess two of us don't need a demon to help follow a clue trail. You're looking for miracle lady, right? Yeah, she's gone. I had a nice chat with her, though.” 

“Sam, whatever kind of intervention you think this is, trust me, it ain't. I'm not gonna explain myself to you.” 

“Yeah, I sort of got that. I just thought you might like to know that while you two have been playing, uh, odd couple, your real friends, like Cas, like the angel you stabbed, Gadreel—they're out there right now risking their _asses_ to help you win this fight.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“A fight, I might add, you made that much more complicated when you decided to stab the one angel who could actually get us to Metatron,” I said bitterly. 

Dean’s anger then flared. “You mean the angel that took you for a joy ride? The angel that slaughtered Kevin?” He then looked down at me in anger. “That went into your head? That angel?” 

My jaw dropped, as Sam said in anger, “Who you let in the front door in the first place. You tricked me, Dean. And now I'm the one who wakes up in the middle of the night seeing my hands killing Kevin, not you So, please, when you say you don't want to explain anything to me, don't. I get it. And I also get that Metatron has to go. And I know you're our best shot to do that.” 

I then asked him, “And how the hell do you know about Gadreel and _my_ head?”

“Cas told me. I didn’t say anything cause I knew you were hurt. And it’s another thing that’s my fault because of the me letting the bastard in. So, I'm gonna take my shot, for better or worse.” 

“We know.” I said bitterly, tired of this whole thing.

“No matter the consequences.” 

“I know.” Sam said, “But if this is it, we're gonna do it together. You want to know what he whispered to her, right, in the video?” 

“His next stop.” I told him, letting him anger go on the fact that Dean knew this whole time about the angel, and he didn’t bother trying to talk to me. I knew it was the mark doing that.

Crowley then spoke up from next to the car, “So what are we all gollywagging on about? Chop-chop.” We all turned to him and gave him the dirtiest looks we could muster. “Excuse me. I'm not exactly demon Minion number three here. As the kids say, I've got mad skills.” 

I rolled my eyes at the demon. Dean then said to him, “Look, I don't know what you expected here, okay. I don't really care, but you wanted off the hamster wheel. Get off.” 

“Well, I guess I've been Winchestered. I'd wish you boys good luck...If I thought it would help.” Crowley then disappeared. 

“So, we’re going after the bastard? Together right?” I asked. 

“For now.” 

After dropping off my car at the bunker, we headed out to the next location that Metatron said he’ll be. It wasn’t far thankfully, but we all stayed quiet for the most part. I knew I would have to speak with Dean later about Gadreel, and I only hoped that he would listen. 

We made it there, just before dark. Sam and I left and looked around a homeless encampment in the city, asking for anyone named Marv. The news we got only made me grow worried. Sam and I jogged back to the car, when Dean was rummaging in the trunk. 

As we approached, I sensed that intense anger again that only came when Dean touches the blade. I stopped in my tracks as I watched Dean calm a little from touching it. Sam noticed too then cleared his throat. Dean took his hand off the blade and asked, “anything?” 

“Uh, yeah. He's up there.” Sam said, “About a mile up the road. There's a homeless encampment. The way the folks are talking, he's got them convinced he's some kind of new Jesus or something.” 

Dean nodded. “You good?” I asked. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” He replied. Anticipation came from all of us, but Dean also had a wave of regret. Something about him, told me he didn’t think that he was going to survive this. Sam then handed the blade to Dean. “Listen, Sammy, about, um, you know, the last couple of months…” 

“I know.” Sam told him. “So, before we find something else to fight about...tell me,” he closed up the trunk of the Impala. “Are you ready to gut this bitch?” 

Dean smirked a little and had a wave of determination, he punched Sam out cold. “Dean!” I shouted. 

“Sorry, little brother. It's not your fight.” Dean said gently, placing Sam’s hand on his chest where Sam laid on the ground. 

“What the hell?” 

“Stay.” He ordered as he stood. 

“No. You’re not going anywhere with out me. You can’t go in to this fight alone.” 

“I can and I will!! He shouted then fought his anger, “please. Stay with him. Protect him.” 

“Why not? Why don’t you want me going with you?” I asked terrified. 

“Cause I don’t want you to see me like this.” 

I had enough. “Cut the bullshit Dean! You want to be the one to snuff him out, and you think you’ll die doing it. Don’t you?” 

“Yeah. Yeah I do. So stay out of the way.” He tried to move but I stood in his way. “Dont.” 

“You need someone to have your back Dean. You won’t let your brother, let me. _Please_ , Dean.” 

He shook his head, “stay here,” he took out his gun, “or I’ll shoot your damn leg.” 

I gritted my teeth, knowing full well he would do it. I stepped aside and let him pass. As he walked down, I said, “Dean.” He turned back to look at me. “I was ready to die for you.” 

“What?” He asked with a wave of protectiveness. 

“I was ready to die for you, and Sam, and Cas. Do not let that be in vain.” 

“It won’t.” He said then walked away. 

“Stubborn ass.” I muttered to myself as I knelt down in front of Sam. I gently pressed my hands to his face trying to wake him. “Sam? Come on, Sam.” I sighed. “Samuel, please.” 

I breathed in deeply. I knew I couldn’t use much of my grace, as I was still healing from before, but I knew if I used it on Sam, it would wake him up a bit faster. I let my grace flow to my hands and into Sam’s head, trying with everything I could not to waste all of my energy. “Come on Sam, wake up!” 

With a good suck of breath, Sam was awake. “What’s...what’s going on?” 

“Dean took off to kill Metatron, we gotta go now!” I said and pulled him to his feet, only to sway too much on my own. 

“Woah-woah-woah.” Sam said steadying me, “what did you do?” 

“Doesn’t matter, let’s find Dean.” Sam grabbed his discarded bag and we took off jogging towards the encampment. 

With every step closer I grew more and more worried that Dean had just walked into his death. Finally we found the place in an abandoned industrial area. Sam and I rushed down the steps looking for him. As we began to panic, a few homeless people began to surround us. 

“Sam.” I said grabbing his hand once I sensed their distrust. 

He pulled out his gun, throwing my behind him, “Stay back. Stay back! Where's Metatron?!” 

They all backed off as they saw the gun, and one pointed towards the entrance to a warehouse. “Come on.” I said pulling Sam by the hand. They let us through. 

Entering the warehouse, I could sense Metatron all the way across from it. Pulling out the angel blade I stuffed in my jacket, Sam and I rushed through, trying to find Dean. We paused in one hallway as we could hear fighting, and I sensed him. Pulling Sam by the hand again I darted in that direction. 

We finally had our sights on them from down aways. Just in time for Metatron to sink his blade directly into Dean’s chest. My breath hitched as Sam shouted, “No!” The brother’s eyes met as I sensed pain rush through Dean. He slumped over. 

Pure anger and fear came from Sam and I as we rushed to the elder brother, Metatron backing away with his bloody blade. I went to Dean immediately helping Sam with hoisting his brother up into a sitting position. 

“Hey-Hey-Hey.” Sam said as I found a piece of cloth and pressed it into the wound. The warehouse around us shook as I sensed the extra power Metatron had faded away. I looked up at him in pure anger, ready to grab my angel blade, but he just disappeared. 

“Damn coward.” I turned back to Dean, beginning to use my grace to try and heal him. Dean then grabbed my hand weakly. 

“Stop. Don’t. You’re not...strong enough.” Dean said weakly. “Sammy, you got to get out of here before he comes back.” 

He was right, I reasoned as tears brimmed my eyes, Dean’s protectiveness wafting off him now, but fading. Sam was panicking, “Shh-Shh-Shh-Shh. Shut up. Shut up. Just save your energy, alright? Oh, man. We'll stop the bleeding. We'll-we'll get you a doctor or-or I'll find a spell. You're gonna be okay.” 

Sam began pressing the wound as well, trying all he could. “We have to get him out of here.” I said urgently. “He’s fading.” 

“Listen to me.” Dean said, “It's better this way.” 

“What?” Sam and I said in unison. 

Dean’s voice gasped and shook as he said, “The Mark. It's making me into something I don't want to be.” 

“Don't worry about the Mark. We'll figure out the Mark later. Just hold on, okay? Get you some help.” Sam then pulled Dean up by his arm and over his shoulder, grabbing him by the waist. As Dean moaned, I did the same on the other side and kept the rag where we needed it. 

The two of us practically dragged Dean steadily out of the damned place, forgetting about the Blade. More tears escaped my eyes as I sensed Dean’s acceptance come out, his pain beginning to fade to. “Don’t you dare leave us, you stubborn ass!” I said as I struggled to keep up. 

As Dean tried to laugh, he began breathing harder and having a hard time standing on his own even more. “What happened with you being okay with this?” He asked his brother. 

“I lied.” Sam said to him. 

“Ain’t that a bitch?” Dean asked lightly. 

“Let’s laugh at the irony and work your shit out after we get you to a damned hospital.” I said dryly, trying all I could to fight my tears. 

“You’re stubborn too, you know that?” Dean then really struggled to breathe. 

“Dean? Dean. Focus okay, focus.” 

“Sam. Hold up. Hold up.” Sam and I then helped him onto a piece of equipment where he could sit down. “I got to say something to you.” 

Sam and I were holding him upright as I sensed his love, protectiveness, and determination. I really started to cry as I also sensed acceptance, and it all was fading fast. “What?” Sam asked. 

Dean moved his hand to hold Sam’s face as he said through ragged breathing. “I’m proud of us.” 

He and Sam looking into each other's eyes as I braced for it. As he closed his eyes, Dean’s energy finally faded, and he fell a little bit into Sam’s chest. “No, no.” Sam shook him awake gently, “Hey-hey-hey. Hey, wake up, buddy.” 

“Sam.” I fought sobbing as I shook my head. 

“Hey.” Sam looked at his brother, tears starting to come down from his eyes. “Dean. Dean!” He finally broke in grief as he gathered Dean into his arms as he sobbed. I held them both completely overwhelmed in my own grief. I lost my big brother too. 

…

Sam and I cleaned Dean up and placed him in the back of the Impala. Sam and I both drove silently back home. As he drove, he tucked me to his side tightly, grief, protectiveness, and determination was all I could feel from him as I laid my head onto his chest listening to his heart beat the entire ride. No word was spoken in our grief as we drove Dean’s body home. 

When we returned, Sam carried Dean’s body in, he refused to have me help, throwing his brother over his shoulders like a fireman. I guided them quietly towards Dean’s room. Sam then gently put Dean on the bed and stared at his brother. 

When tears well up in his eyes, I reached up and pulled him into a hug. “Let’s talk, okay?” I asked, knowing full well that this wasn’t the end of it. 

After a long hug, Sam let go of me, and we left Dean’s room. The first thing I did was get out a bottle of whiskey as Sam sat down in the library. I poured two glasses as I sat in front of him, and took a sip. 

“What do you want to do?” I asked simply. 

“I...I can’t let him...it’s not right.” 

“I know it’s not. So, what do you want to do?” 

He looked me in the eye with new determination coming from him. Sam downed the rest of his whiskey. “Summon the one person who got him here. Figure out something. I have to.”

He left the table as I realized what he wanted to do. I downed the rest of mine and followed him. Sam stood in the dungeon where Dean had left all of the stuff for the spell that summoned Crowley into our home. It was ready for a second try. Sam knelt to the floor and I stood nearby as he picked up the box of matches. “Damn it, Crowley. You got him into this mess. You will get him out...or so help me, God.” 

He dropped the flame into the bowl in front of us, hope coming from him in a small wave. I looked up to the trap, waiting for Crowley to appear. But he never did. 

Then the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I turned slowly and looked out to the hallway. Not believing what I was sensing. “Dean?” I said. That caused Sam to look up at me with hope, then pure fear ran through our veins. I ran out of the room, Sam just behind my heels as I followed the familiar pretense through the halls. 

I opened the door only to find the bed that had held Dean’s body earlier had vanished. “What the hell?” I said as I smelt the faint stench of sulfur. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....yeah. Part 4 is out now! !!! Bookmark The Huntress Series to keep tabs! All kudos and Comments are highly appreciated! Thanks for keeping up with the story, love you all.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated! Please bookmark my series, The Huntress, for my frequent updates! Love you all.-Indigo


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